Alice Miller wrote "The Roots of Violence : for your own good" which I first read in 1986. I was stunned by it's clarity, and terrified by it's prescience. The wars in Vietnam, Grenada, The Falklands, Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan, Kosovo and elsewhere, our Governments criminally insane war policies and our general inability to stop these atrocities suddenly made sense.
Everything I have learned since then supports her thesis that it is down to how we as a society treat our children, (as in the use of violence and humiliation as a co-ercive technique in parenting and schooling, supported by advertising) and furthermore there is ample historical proof that the appalling maltreatment of children in our 'developed' society is premeditated, and that it is designed to make each generation servile, selfish and insecure as well as emotionally blind. Read more here
new! new! The book is now available online, for free here
Punishment inevitably leads to more yet violence, especially so if the punishment is unjust or used as a method of corecion and those who are punished thus are unable for whatever reasons to resolve their experience. That leads to rage, which is stored unresolved pent-up anger. Anger, even if justified, is more often than not suppressed, time and time again, out of politeness or timidity or because of fear, only for it to leak out in other unrelated circumstances. This is a very disempowering experience, and that sense of disempowerment is draining and only adds to the resevoir of stored rage.
This same dynamic can happen when one does not deal with a situation or event where anger is appropriate and ought to be shown as the immediate response (as opposed to a reaction) - such as when someone attempts to harm one, or attempts ot control one through insult or lies - as happens with regularity in some forms of 'polite' behaviours or office politics. Because so much of these experiences are not dealt with at the time of the event or shortly afterwards, when it is fresh, a resevoir of rage builds up, and it is often the case when our reactions are out of proportion, when we hit out at the ones we love, for example that this dynamic is what is happening. Releasing rage is an important healing step to take. Responsive anger is as nature intends, a way of protecting the young and of warning the foolish. Read more about punishment and it's effects here