“Ooooooh what a lovely, evil sack of shit...”

WHAT BEEF I’VE GOT WITH MARY-SUES...

Okeeday, I just have one thing to say here...


MARY-SUES ARE ASS-TASTIC THINGS.


They just are.

Well, all right, that’s not entirely true...there is that rare and once-in-a-god’s-lifetime occasion where a good Mary-Sue is composed, but 95% of the time, Mary-Sues are only good for two things...

infuriating the world’s innocent otaku

and fueling bonfires.


Ooooh, lookie what lil’ old Fala found...INK! A whole bottle of lovely black permanent ink...and Mum just had the carpet cleaned! ::evil grin:: ...eh heh heh... ::uncorks the inkwell and starts furiously splashing on the rug with it until she has “M.S.-ing SUX” written in giant black letters on the until recently snow-white fibers::

BWAH-HA HA HA HAH!!!

Eh? What’s that you say?

“There’s a man over there...with a look of surprise...
as much to say, “Well now how about that...?”
Do I actually see, with my own very eyes
a peep who’s not heard of a MARY-SUE???”
(pardon my mutilation of “Jellicle Cats”)

WHAT IS A MARY-SUE, YOU ASK???

Ooooh, a Mary-Sue...

Um, ever heard of ‘Person-Insertion’?
Well, let’s see...a fan may write about themselves as a character in a fanfic, or draw themselves interacting with official charas in a fanart. A person-insertion is basically when a fan cameo’s his or her self into a fanwork...A Mary-Sue is just that...but there is a BIGGU difference between a Person-Insertion and a Mary-Sue. Person-Insertion is just an ‘over-all’ term for fan-cameo-ing. A Mary-Sue is a type of Person-Insertion, but is by far more evil...

With Person-Insertion, all a fan has to do is ”Show up”, in their work. Or they might have an important role in the plot, yadda yadda yadda, innocent stuff. But some more uppity people like to get into a bit more than that...aaaaaand;

VIOLA LA MARY-SUE...

A Mary-Sue is basically a fan’s excuse to kug some fave-chara booty. He or she may write about an unexpected meeting, resulting in love at first sight, still others may include dramatic rescues, ‘anything for the one you love’ themes, and so on...

So what is so bad about that?

Hell, there is LOTS bad about that! Gods, how do you think it makes the rest of us fans feel to see you getting jiggy with Marron, or whoever you have raised a cult to. Especially when we already have ‘official-charas-only couples’ already established! I mean, sheesh! Mary Sues make eyes roll...some worse than others...(let’s use Marron as an example, just to keep things simple for me and my simple mind)

~If you write about Marron becoming more than just your bestest friend in the world...
~If you write about Marron having a crush on you...
~If you write about Marron hitting on you...

...you should pray for your soul...

~If you write about Marron confessing his love to you...
~If you write about Marron kissing you...
~If you write about Marron becoming your loverboy...

...you should suck up to (the) God(s) AND pray for your soul...

~If you write about sharing candle-lit dinners, romantic midnight strolls and the such-crap with Marron...
~If you write about some sap-tastic, lovey-lovey precious moments you spend with Marron...

...you should pray that you have a soul left to pray for...

~If you write about Marron + you + hotsprings...

...= pray that we cremate your soul quickly...

~If you write about some disasterous occurance, in which you save Marron and he ends up owing his life to you...

...all of your soul are belong to us...

~...and if he requites that by ::cheekyness covered as a disgusted Fala furiously layers white-out over it::...

...I will send Sal after your soul...

~If you write about getting “aaaaahhhn, Darling! Don’t Stop! More! More!” with Marron in ANY way...ESPECIALLY if you write about having Marron as your sex slave...

...I will royally jesusify you myself!


Look, I know this sound’s like I’m over-reacting, but the point is, that Mary-Sues are only cool to the person who writes it and cameo’s in it. All other fans need a Mary-Sue like they need a hole in the head. Regular, innocent Person-Insertion isn’t half as bad, but when it sours into a Mary-Sue, the disgustingness makes my toes curl like I’m witch with a house ontop of me...



I think I have said enough..

MARY-SUES MUST DIE!