Quote of the Moment: "I'm keeping your monitor and driving home drunk." -Jorden

Song of the Moment: Joe Satriani- Raspberry Jam Delta-V

Anime Of The Moment: Gankutsuou

Movie Of The Moment: TrainSpotting

Game Of The Moment: Dawn Of War


6/17/04 - Dusty "Kool-AiD Head Smasher Wall Breaking through Iron Chef" Walker

"You're not Dave Chappelle, and you're not funny"

It is one month away from Fraga, and you know what that means, time to start saving? I'm not sure, but I guess we need a formal plan about whats going on down there...

Dusty and BLK

Anyways, me and my posse are leaving wednesday morning at like 6am, and getting in edmonton about 11-noonish, after that we check into the hotel, and head to west ed for the rest of the day: Lewis Dusty Gordon Stewart Alex Cy

Alex will not be there wednesday night, but will be there thursday morning. whatever you guys do after is up to you, but we are to be checked out sunday and I'am leaving sunday night after fraga ending ceremonies. You're looking at about $100 for the weekend each. I can fit about 3 comps in my car, and Commo said we could store them in the mayfield center like we did last year when we do get there.

Anyways, lately I have been playing alot of planetside, and all I can say is I own. Lineage never really turned out to what it was supposed to be, GG NCsoft.

Thats it for now, and remember what ever you do, do it funky. stfu lewis~


5/26/04 - Lewis the man who blewus

"Hold my drink bitch!"

Today, as I randomly said these words, just because I like the sound of them... I was suddenly reminded of my first love. I cant remember her name or even what she looked like, however I Think she was really hot which is hard to say since we where like 8. Why was I reminded of her? because god damn she was a bitch, she used to kick the shit out of me. I mean kicking me in the face elbows to the groin random punches in the stomach, and I loved every bit of it. Some might think "BUT DUDE IF SHE WAS HITTING YOU IT MENT SHE HATED YOU!" but no I could tell by the way she grinded her foot in my face and that kinky thing she did with her elbow that it was just her way of showing affection, so I have decided to go on a quest to find this woman, I may never come back! I may never find her! but I have to try.

Oh and as for the current news, It has been determined that "the cast of friends" is what occupies BLK's coffin.

The lineage 2 beta comes to an end today, so no more free gaming for joel and lewis. For those who dont know what L2 is, It is an MMORPG based around level grinding so that at higher levels you can woop eachothers ass's, and not only that it really brings out the racist basterd in a person. In fact, after tedious reasearch it has been determined that nothing in the history of humanity has caused more hatred then lineage2. way to go NCsoft!!!

Airsoft! its new! its cheap! its the closest thing to real gun fights! and its not paintball - if im not to lazy I will make a thread about it, but its definatly something to look into.


February 11th - Orphan Of Darkness

Ah yes, the time to update the webpage has crawled out from its befouled hole to violently warn me that if I don't comply, BLK will crap on my porch. If you aren't watching GunGrave by now, there is something wrong with you. And it's not the fact that you could have strange/bad taste. So I recommend you get the CD's off me, or BLKLOL or a link or something. My house is still empty, save from my mentally ravaged dog and my own twisted self. All I can say is this weekend will most likely disappear in an alcohol induced daze, aided by someone waking up beside my sister (you poor bastard). My cooler is full, my house is empty, my intentions are not good, and neither will yours when you've drank enough.

January 7th - Orphan Of Darkness

I vote Mama Panda's, first pay day of the month.

July 2ndth- Orphan Of Darkness

EMERGENCY UPDATE: http://sailormoon.channel.or.jp/jisha/cast_01.html

December 6th - Blake "Beyond the Blake" Bouchard

Ho ho ho ho

I got blank CDs now, plus a new IDE cable cause the nitwits that packaged my computer didn't give me one long enough to cover two CD drives. The result? Anime. Lots of it. Now, instead of deleting everything, I can just burn it, then delete it. And that's just swell.

Just a heads up. Last Samurai at 10:15, tonight (Saturday night). Then, supposedly, Matt's gonna try playing D&D after... But we all know that that shit ain't gonna happen.


November 27th - Blake "shit prison DOOOM" Bouchard

parsley

November 13th - Blake "Full Metal Forehead" Bouchard

Saturday night's all right for drinking.

Hola chicos, and welcome back to the circus that never ends. I'm your host, Decent B, and boy do we have a show for you tonight.

That's right, Blake, we've got stars and stars and stars, so many stars that I think I just shit my pants.

Anyways, you know that chef thing Dustin posted about? Well, guess what?? We got hired at East Side Mario's, and if you haven't heard this very humorous story, here's a quick recap:

Me and Dustin are just finished eating at the Mall, and we decide that it's time to get down to business and start handing in resume's. I get the zany idea that we should drive all the way across town to hit up East Side Mario's first. So we go. We walk in the door, resume's in hand, and Dustin asks that we hand them in to the manager, personally.

Me: Hi, uhh, we were here about applying for jobs as cooks.

Manager: Oh, alright. Do you have any experience as cooks?

Me: Uhh... No... But we're really interested in becoming cooks!

Manager: Hmmm... Well... I can't guarantee...

Dustin: We also know Jeremy Goldsack.

[A series of grunting and crotch grabbing ensues.]

Manager: Ohhh.... Oh God... I'll be right back.

[Manager runs off to the back of house, we hear moaning and screaming from the bathroom.]

[Manager returns wiping his hands off with a cloth.]

Manager: You're in for training on Tuesday, and you're in on Wednesday.

[Me and Dustin look at each other.]

Dustin: Oh, we're so in.

Well, that's our story in a nutshell. Dustin went to Sobeys afterwards and quit. Then he went to Calgary lololololol. He's trying to taunt me with Caramel Frappuccinos, but I won't let that evil bastard win. A million crazy eyes won't stop me from blowing him up with my Mega Forehead Smasher Beam.

Saturday, there is word of a drunken revel at ye olde Beilman residence. Most likely taking place during, or after D&D. Victors rewrite history. Brace yourselves for World War III.

In closing, don't click that link at the bottom of DJ's post, it's digital poison.


November 4 - DJ "I'm Angry" Toker

Whazzup Muthafukkas

Things are sweet turkey meat. I'm really enjoying myself here in Van. I am living on the top floor of an apartment in Abbotsford and it's been adorned with a great sign I stole from the East Indian Farmers. Apparently it justifies their slow pace on and off the highway.

For the love of God, you all need to prepare for the midget invasion. I am shocked that we live in a society that is full of such evil minions. Now, they have massed and the time has come for a midget revolution. Lock your doors and prepare for a sore neck because there is no stopping them now. In other words, Dark Side of the Moon really does sync up with the Wizard of Oz.

So far I've shot a short demo piece for a local actress and a commercial for the Metricat System (used to measure the size of your arteries). So I guess that makes me as close of a doctor as I'll ever be, so gimme a call if you ever need your pipes measured. I look forward to seeing all you n00bs at Christmas and we will have to do something extra crazy and fun. We're also being forced to do all our editing with Avid DV Xpress 3.5 on the MAC. I swear that the MAC is the most evil creation on the face of the earth. I forgot my administrator password that I used when I installed it like 6 months ago, and because of the I can't update Avid or the OS, and to top it off, it won't let you run the password recovery utility unless you first enter your administartor password. Maybe we can all steal a tank and a few hummers and go level the MAC stores. Those crafty bastards assemble everything in Malaysia, so maybe we can hire Osama to take care of things over there. Bin Bin, Jihaad Jihaad.

Here ya go John OMGSTFUPLZCLIKZORZ


October 29th - Dusty "Iron Kool-aid Chef" Walker

A story to tell...

So me and BLK were sitting in humpty's enjoying a decent meal, when the idea came that it would be cool to be chefs. OR EVEN BETTER open our own restaurant, OMFG. Me and BLK dashed out of humpty's into the soccer mom

and proceeded to open up our own business. Turns out it started as a great success, that cold-hearted bastard BLK thought of our slogan, but brought in the cash, and animal rights fgt bots. Me and BLK also thought hiring the crew would've worked out for awhile.....ahahaha....

There you have it. The chef status was l33t too, me and BLK were so in lololololoneeleven.

Times passed and we got uber ratings, and anyone that had a problem with the cooking simply got told off by me

HA soon went inter-national opening up, all over the world. That is when HA had its first opening in Japan....right next to kitchen stadium....right next to a fucking volcano!!!!!!

Actually that never happened, it would've if BLK would've remembered to go to foosy's house and get his camping stuff!! BLK was discouraged and decided it was time...

After going "craaaazzzzyyy" he burnt down HA: The Restaurant

and no one could blame BLK for it, I mean hes already deleted the forums once, why not burn down our restaurant? We could've had a monopoly and had Bill Gates kissing our feet, but nooo YOU HAD TO BURN IT DOWN! ...down...down..down...@_@

Anyways, I could've wrote that a lot better, but its way too early(8:30pm) and Dusty lives on the edge maaaan, none of this organizational shit, ahaha ~.~;; Happy Pre-Halloween you sluts~


October 26th - Blake "YOU BASTARD" Bouchard

Oh, well. It could be worse.

In one of the more ironic twists of fate to ever come my way, after setting my MSN name to F_C_M ;; 814-9240 ;; Oh well, it could be worse. I could have got my nose bit off by a Saigon whore!!, Sarah and Stew message me from the Beilman residence, asking me to drive Stewart home, on account of Sarah's parents weren't going to be home for a few hours, and Sarah couldn't go to sleep while Stew was there. So I drove in, got to Sarthew's house, and rang the doorbell, expecting either Stewart or Sarah to answer the door.

However, this was not the case. Mattrah's dad came to the door, the same dad who wasn't supposed to be home for "a few hours." After apologizing profusely for waking him up at 2 AM, I left, embarassed, and slightly frustrated. Then, I drove to IGA and bought a Wunderbar, shallowly justifying the trip into town. As I did, I thought to myself, if I were anyone else, I'd be seething with spite and resentment because my trip into town was worthless, and trying to find someone to place the blame on, but then I discerned that I probably brought this on myself.

You see, one of the numerous running gags surrounding me is that I live a "Sick, twisted joke." Any other occasion, I'd be blaming that for this. But then I figured to myself that the more I think of it that way, the more circumstances in my life will continue to reflect that. And the more I sweat the little things like this, the bigger they'll become.

It also wouldn't go very well with this whole "Optimist" gimmick I've got going here, to be hopping mad and fuming over this. I mean, yeah, I didn't get my nose bitten off by a Saigon whore. Therefore, all is not lost.

As for LANing, it went nicely. Me, Joel, Jorden, Dustin, and Stewart showed out, but Stew didn't feel like bringing his computer over. Scary Movie 3 knocked my socks off, as I expected it would, and I'm pretty sure everybody else was mostly LOLified by the time the movie was over. "If you think that's weird, wait 'till you see how we say 'Goodbye.'" Har har har. Har. Also, you owe Leslie Nielsen awe.

That's all for me. Lay off the hate crimes, and if I'm any example, remember that it's always going to be bad if you make it out to be that way.


October 23rd - Blake "Optimist Prime" Bouchard

Yo.

Now that that part's settled, as Joel already stated below, we're rounding up the troops to see Scary Movie 3 tomorrow night at 9, at the Lyric (The one in the mall, in case you were wondering). We might head out somewhere for supper, depending on what everybody wants to do. The Warhammer 40Gay players, consisting of Jeremy, John, Matt, and I think Cody are all going to the Grand Tournament in Calgary tomorrow, which rules them out. But we've still got Joldy Giano, Dust, Sarah, Eva, Jorden, Stewart, and the BLKLOLLOL. For information, just call the magic cellphone at 814-9240 or send me a MSN mobile / ICQ SMS message. :)

We might be LANing at Joldy's tomorrow too, keep your eyes, ears, and other various bodily orifices open for more details. Or, phone the cellphone. :)


October 23rd- Orphan Of Darkness

Been awhile since I updated I guess I might as well do it now! Nothing amazing to report. However, the posse will be attending the 9:00 showing of Scary Movie 3 at the Lyric, on friday, the 24th. Now, u fuckers, download teamspeak and play Wolf! Some of us will be attending the Warhammer GT, so prepare for a village raid and the capturing of their children. Also, LAN at my place this weekend.

September 29th - Blake "Inquisitor General" Bouchard

Welcome back, inter-web freaks // A crazy duck and some loony ass geeks
Before we continue with the task at hand // Let's go ahead... And introduce the Clan!!

*guitar kicks in*

From Crystal Lake, it's Stewie D // He loves his absinthe, it fills him with glee
Noone knows what language he's speaking // Nor why he goes nuts when White Rabbit's peaking!

Joel's a Nazi, tried and true // You never know just what next he'll do
He may come across as a total prick // But you'll change your mind when he pulls the morphine stick!

The Mighty CoYd, The Fucking Fuck // He gets big kicks from his insane luck
Losing at CS makes him steaming mad // But other than that he ain't all that bad!

Next there's Dust, whom we call The Big Show // Why he's laughing, we'll never know
He's lazy, tired, he might be dead // And he'll carve a Z into your head!

Then there's Chris, who some call Raie // Falling off roofs is his forte
He'd love to calibrate your module // But if the shoes come off, get outta the pool!

The Angel Machine, The Beil-Man // He hurts, he wounds, he's a Mexi-Can
We're pretty sure he's fucked in the head // Don't piss him off, or he'll shit in your bed!

He's Jorden Foisy, The Ninja King // His weapon is that Mega Thing
He'll gank your ass from side to side // From his deadly katana, there's no place to hide!

JHN, the Master Whore // The things he does make jaws hit the floor
His stomach seems to be endless and vast // And his catchphrase is "You Gonna Finish That??"

I am the corpse flying through the air // I'm a Zombie Ex-tra-ordinaire
I'm BLK, my talents are none // I guess I'm just a decent son of a gun!

We were a gaming clan // Now we're just some K'mefd'm fans // Our only joy comes from beer cans // Heaven's Asylum was born in LANs

We're the strongest force in Mission Heights // Our dirty hack-tics win our fights
We're just a bunch of fools // The bane of all Grande Prairie's schools!


The beginning of the end - Kaerthon

So! You didn't see this coming did you? Mr.Cody "Kaerthon" Cardinal posting on the site he was a founder of? HELL NO! Where the fuck have i been you say? well... let's not go there.. it's call Counter-Strike and since i decided to let that bastard die for the last time i'm back, full swing. I don't know if u noticed but most of us have Decent Computers (1500mhz+) and High Speed. IN FACT : all of us do.. cept maybe Aaron. bleh.

Here is my idea, and the reason for the post : Enemy Territory, yes you all know what it is, yes i'm gonna tell u anyways. The creation team for the Wolfenstein Expansion were a little late with their updated expansion pack and ID decided to let them release the Expansion (multiplayer part only) as it's own game... FREE. FUCKING FREE!. So whati'm thinking, is we start playing this game. ok here's the keyword ..... *** Together *** ...... <<< get that shit! Tab's so fucking bored right now he's doing schoolwork till 8pm at night. No EQ and No CS make stewy go crazy..

anyways think about it. I'll be posting a fuck of a lot more from now on... that's what they all say..


September something - The call me Lewis

Yo, in regard to all the recent posts I felt that I should contribute to it to try and keep this going. There was an obvious lack of updates during the summer, if not for the valiant Blk`can, and I think joel ( sorry to lazy to go look ) there would of been none, I know my posts are often usless and more often then not just a mass of lame jokes, and sexual referances, but none the less I feel an obligation to keep them coming, because it is the responsability of all {=-HA-=} memebers to contribute to our insanity.

Latly the HA bored's have been a good source for information on whats been going down and for a good laugh, I know I dont post vary often on the forums and I know no one really cares, but regardless of that I have been trying making a point to try and find some time every day to add a coment or two to a thread, just to try and keep stuff coming. Im not saying im going to go ambush you with a posse of fellow ninjas and steal your nikes or drive a ice cream truck through your living room if you dont do like whys, mostly because I dont need an excuss for such thing. however come in trash talk, rant, tell stewert hes a fuck tard what ever just do shit.

oh and by the way I went to thte bathroom well righting this and I saw some really hot chics in the hall, Fuck! wouldnt mind calibrating there moduels


September 23rd - Blake "Are you a BLKan? Or a BLKan't?" Bouchard

Soon, soon, soon. In about 25 and a half hours, what could very well have been the most hellish month of my life is slowly drawing to a close. I get paid, at midnight on Wednesday night. Which means, I'll be hankering for a drunken revelry, assholes! All that liquor in the back of my van MUST GO, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

The half-mickey of Smirnoff, the full mickey of McGillicuddy's Peach Schnapps, and the half bottle of Amaretto, all of it must go before Monday. And it must go into my fucking belly! (Well, not necessarily MY belly, not all of it at least, but at least that Peach Schnapps). However, I'd like to find somewhere besides Joel's house to go, because we've probably worn out our welcome there by raiding their shit every weekend for like three or four weeks in a row. I'd much rather find somewhere other than there to go to, so if you come up with a solution anywhere between Wednesday and Friday, let me or someone else know, post-haste.

New KMFDM CD came out today, but nobody has it, 'cause it's not in GP yet. "I am Kaptain K, ze Corruptor of Youth, by furthest gospel of ze honest truth // I am ze father of industrial rock, and if you don't believe me, you can suck my glock, ja!!" If that's any indication, it means you need to buy that fucking CD.

Not much else to say here.


September 19th - Dusty "Iron Kool-aid Chef" Walker

Rare update from "THE DUSTY"

So yeah, College is fucking slack, no work whats so ever, too bad I pay like $270/class ~.~;; My linear algebra teacher CAN GO TO FUCKING HELL *quote my dad*"SEND HIM BACK WHERE HE CAME FROM FUCKING RAGHEAD"*un-quote* actually he doesn't wear a turban, but he has a really strong accent, and its just jibberish. Everything else is easy, schdule is awesome too, one class at 2:30 on wednesaday and friday afternoon off, ooooh yeah~ If you sluts don't show up to the movie tonight, take refrence to the pics I've posted:

I recently purchased dynasty warriors 4 for my box, and fuck it owns, unlocked all the chars already, I don't know what the hell BLK was talking about jiang wei being hard to unlock, I got him by accident. Xu Zhu and my custom char are the only one's maxed lololol I would have Xu Zhu's tenth weap, but don't have the level yet, well I do, not just the right side :P Anyways, just been chilling and sleeping in college, playing DW 4, PSO, SC2, and PS all the time. I got my RvB Shirts in the mail today, damn they own kek~ thats about it, peace out homes~


September 19th - Blake "Willis 3:16 says I just Whupped Batman's Ass" Bouchard

It's that time again. Movie time!

Yes, that's right, it's movie time, where Joel gets bombarded with IMs from various people who are too lazy to read the forums! That's where shit really gets done. Speaking of shit, THIS is where we shall be planning things henceforth. In fact, we already used it for a few things, but I got a vague inkling of suspicion that people weren't taking it seriously, so now, I'm on a campaign to make sure EVERY FUCKING PERSON WE KNOW IN GP knows where that forum is so that they can't plead ignorance when they ask where the fuck everybody was on Friday. Ignorance is no excuse, and will not be taken seriously, not while the linked forum exists.

What I'm trying to say here, is that if you hear on Saturday that everybody went to see Underworld on Friday, you have no right to be pissed, because you knew where the forums were, and you knew that you're supposed to keep up to date with them, instead of dropping in once every month because you felt like it. Bookmark the forum, or better yet, set it as your homepage. I know most of us do that already, but if you don't at least have the forums bookmarked, then I won't have any pity for you when you come bitching to me because you didn't get a phone call. From now on, this is how it's going to get done.


September 2nd - Blake "I got Wraithverge in Hexen and now your life is forfeit" Bouchard

Well, it's early Tuesday morning. First day of class. I'm pulling the big "Stay up all night because there's no point in sleeping for 2 hours anyways" trick. I've got a job interview at Sobey's on Wednesday, which is good, because you fuckers have run me dry, for real.

Well, what's new? Joel's finally getting a new computer. Wolfenstein is calling out to us again, this time in the form of Enemy Territory, which, coincidentally, is a blast to play. I've been catching up on my vintage gaming, from One Must Die 2097, to Hexen. If you remember Hexen, you would probably remember nothing but goodness about it. Well, after an EXTREMELY lucky find on Google, I found a program that renders the old Hexen graphics into a new, sharper, 64 bit version. Ask me about it if you're interested.

What else is new? I couldn't afford Soul Calibur 2 after all, but Matt got it, so we just play it at his house. Actually, JHN's brother got it too, but JHN's parents aren't as lenient on mass sleepovers as either Joel's or Matt's are. Speaking of that general neck of the woods, how is it that everybody has managed to generally shift over into that area? In the same subdivision, you have the infamous safehouse that is Joel's, Matt's Parlor of D&D is right down the street, and Commo's Roller Disco Party Shack is a matter of blocks away. Not to mention that Jorden lives within walking distance. WTF?? Anyways, I just thought that was kind of weird, and needed to be brought to our attention.

Ohhhhhhh, what else. Despite my leanings to the contrary, I requisitioned most of the remainder of that alcohol I bought for the infamous "Kill that fucking centaur" weekend. I also took what was left of that god damn Amaretto, which was only half a bottle, but when someone whose name starts with a J and ends with an HN tells me to get more amaretto, I'm expecting that he's gonna pay me back, right? Because I don't actually want to drink Gladiators anyways, I've already got everything I need. But nevertheless, I buy an extra thing of Amaretto, theoretically for myself, and then I drink all the god damn Amaretto out of sheer vengeance. *ahem* That turned into a bit of a rant, but that's alright.

Still passing the time to go until I hop on ye olde bicycle and head down to ye olde GPRC for ye olde orientation. All morning I've been reading old HA forums threads, and god damn, there has been some funny shit. I love it. Which reminds me. I think we need new custom titles.

Just finished with the custom titles. Not as comical as you're no doubt used to seeing from me (Am I rite??) but at least I tried. Still got an hour and a half to go, and my energy is sapping away... Quickly.

Well, I suppose I'll wrap up this little news item and then go look for a victim to ingest. Ta-ta.


August 1st - The Blakeler, aka The World's Smartest Zombie

It would appear that I haven't posted since October of last year. :O

Well, in any event, Fraga was interesting, lots of poster/scroll looting got done, I massacred HMV while drinking blood from some random bystander's severed arm, and we played... Stuff. I think DJ's quote summed up the event quite nicely: "Why did I even bring my computer??" What he forgets, however, is that without his computer, we wouldn't have been able to watch Riki-Oh. Well... That is, until we brought my computer up, I suppose. But like I had the presence of mind in my drunken stupor to go down and get it?

Enough about that. Lewis and Dustin are working at Sobey's, me and Joel are ripping out carpet at various schools across Grande Prairie, including but not limited to Comp and Crystal Park, with Swanavon and Avondale next on the beatings list. Cody is working at Micro Computer's and living with Commo. JHN is working at Woodland Do-It Center, Matt is working at Totem Building Supplies. Stewart still doesn't have a job. Jorden might have a job, but nobody's heard from him in a while, or maybe someone has, and just didn't feel like saying anything.

The Guyver anime is a must-see. It's crappily dubbed, has insane, almost comedic violence, and involves lots of fleshy, fluidy biological mayhem. Oh, and the Mega Smasher Nipple Rocket Cannon Buster. :D. The other must-see is National Lampoon's Animal House. John Belushi is in it, and it's about a frat house. Need I say more? Didn't think so.

Anything coming up in the foreseeable future? Well, anyone who still subscribes to this webpage can keep up to date on any future plans we may have, including booster drafts, drinking, LANs, etc. I do know that Joel and Matt were planning a LAN soon, but I have no idea when. You'll have to extract that out of Joel.

In closing, praise be to Mr. Bob, for all evil originates from him.

July 2ndth- Orphan Of Darkness

Hiya hello at Fraga right now! Lots of anime and music to be had. more later, busy.

July 2ndth- Orphan Of Darkness

Time to Fragapalooza is counting down. Money is adding up. (For some of us anyway.) I'm still looking for an alternative to the bus trip down there, contact me anyway you can if you have any suggestions. So how is everyones summer progressing? Not in the basement I hope. If you have yet to play a PS2 game called Kinetica, I suggest you contact me as well. Nothing exciting to post, just adding filler to kill the time from now until I'm in some club jamming to Blue Alphabet or Underworld in Edmonton or BC. While we are on that note, I recommend the current song of the moment; "Underworld- Two Months Off (King Unique Sunspots Vocal Mix)" and the "(Radio Edit)." So anyone been partying? I've been to 1 or 2 gooders so far, if u wanna come along one night just make yourself available.Make war not peace my brethren!

See you space Cowboy . . .


June 19th- Orphan Of Darkness

You have Lewis to thank for the funny posts below, I suggest you read them if you have not. To the point, summer is here for the time being and such things like jobs, Fragapalooza, road trips and similar events approach. So feel free to use the forums or even the front page to help plan and manage these.

Another thing, I'll be doing webpage/HTML/forum patching at random intervals so keep an eye out for improvements or abnormalities I might have added/removed.

NOTE: I have archived the old updates, a link to these can be found at the bottom of the page. I have been informed from an (un)reliable source that there is a _FRAGAPALOOZA MEETING AT FRAGZ, ON FRIDAY AT 7:00 pm_.

End transmission-----


2nd last day of school - Blitz

Sup boyz, I am typing this in a computer tech class that I do not go too, and at this moment Stewart is failing his final test, well unless I give him the answers I don’t know because I am so suipppyar leit. This reminds me of the time I was in Russia trying to convince those Tatu chic’s to marry me, one Tuesday I followed them to a grocery store where they were obviously buying there lesbo supplies and maybe a few eggs for morning. Because we all know grocery stores are reliable source for lesbo supplies.

I suppose you are wondering what the hell lesbo supplies are? Well that’s a good question, which I have devoted a good part of my life to studying, so I obviously feel obligated to answer. Unfortunately I have no fucking idea it’s just another made up word, yeah like fantabulacular. I wish I could claim I made that word up, but alas its too good and some dude probably made it like a 100 years ago or I heard it in the Simpson’s or some other crazy sitcom, which is unfortunately where 90% of my “idea’s” come from. I prefer not to call them ideas though, I like to think outside the box, or in Anna kornikova’s case inside the box bwhaha or better yet inside the pants bwhahaha.. Ha... hooo. So anyways I like to refer to idea’s ass… ha-ha... I misspelled as into ass. Ermm so idea’s?

what ever so anyways I went up to the ladies in the grocery store and I says to them I says “ guten tag you sexy bitches how’d you like to eat my peaches.” Cause like they where putting peaches in a bag at the time. Of course no lady can resist such a clever pick up line, they were burning with passion, so much that there faces where red and they tried to hide it by looking angry, and by god that was the best beating I have ever had in my life. The one from there bodyguard after was not so… good? In fact it was less then good. I wouldn’t pay a nickel for that, that’s for damn sure.

Apparently they had hired that body guard strictly for me, yes I am vary flattered. They where obviously afraid that there reputation as hard core lesbo’s will be messed up because they know they can not resist me much longer. So they got the big guy to cover there ass’. It must have been because of the incident in the movie theater where I sat beside the burnet and put my arm around her and asked for some lovin; Oh yeah she gave me some lovin, with the back of her hand.

I couldn’t gain much ground after that, they wouldn’t have anything to do with me, so I felt the best solution would be to master the sacred art of pointless back flips, which can be used to solve almost any dilemma. Combined with duck tape you are invincible.

I started traveling the world to find the perfect place to train, when I came apon a mountain conveniently behind a 7-11. Or was the 7-11 conveniently in front of the mountain? But that’s another story.

Apon this mountain was a duck... a duck so ducky it made other ducks look like sparrows. In fact this duck was so ducky it might even be mistaken for a goose. Except for the one definable feature, this ultimately defined it as being a duck. It wore a single boot, which geese are incapable off. This boot was a normal sized man boot, but yet the water fowl still managed to keep its balance and it had no effect on its movement. It was

an anomaly of science, and merely trying to understand it could drive a man or cow insane.

How did such a tremendously powerful creature come into creation? Who can be blamed for this monster of the modern world? Why none other then DURDA! Sttteeewwyy durda! The duck escaped from the mind of this twisted individual. By spinning the boot around it used its momentum to fling itself into the real world. This is also how buster rhymes mow’s his lawn. Don’t ask me how, just accept it you whiney bitch.

So anyways the duck taught me the secrets of back flips, it took me 41 and 1/6 days and nights with out sleep and only the bugs that splattered into my glasses from the momentum of spinning through the air as nourishment, but master it I did. And with this new source of power I went back into the world and promptly fell off a roof.

So anyways as for news this is the second last day of fucking school we are almost done bitches yarr…

After several years of research we have yet to determine why esker is sooooo damn goooood.

And once again Joel and his Nazi homies have tried to take over there world but there evil plans where foiled by a Latino doorman that goes by the superhero alias of “L.D”, one shot from his final final final attack “Blue Screen of Death” and the skin heads where kicking there hubs in fury, before there avatars disappeared from this plain of existence.

On the movie front I have no clue what’s going on because I have not seen a damn thing lately, but I can say that the hulk is big and he’s green, why is he green? I will have to direct you to Lanny because of his gay obsession with the well built gentlemen.

In other news, don’t let dusty drive a fork lift in your bathroom, no good can come from it. Like this one time he busted a hole in my wall but I did see some hot chic’s through the hole, and damn wouldn’t mind calibrating there modules. I guess some good came come from it.

Oh. And Lewis has discovered the magic of spell check. He still does not trust it though. Intensive grammar training is still underway, although no progress is being made.


Lewis is to good to care about the date ( broke his watch thus he is lost his link with the rest of the world ) - Blitz

Hey, it has been a while since I have updated the site, why? Some may think it is because I am quite the lazy basterd. well I have news for you, your right! but thats not going to stop me from making up a bunch of bullshit in an atempt to justify and glorify my procrastination.

For example I was down in tasmania becuase I wanted to find out if those tasmanian devils really can go all crazy and make the tornado thing ( like in the cartoon ), unfortunatly that is a bunch of bull. So anyways well I was there I happend to wonder into a town, and I met a lass there of considerable virtue, which is uncommon among austrailian hill billys chic's.

This girl had taken quit a likeing to me for some reason and after a few shots of tequila a couple bottles of beer and some shrimp, plus I am pretty sure she sliped something into my drink. We were in the outhouse and she was taking advantage of me I think, dont remeber much of that night, thats what she told me anyway.

So anyways it turns out she was married to some dude, and this dude was like 10 feet tall his frigin neck was like my waist, and I am not the balemic type. so As he came thundering toward me I accepted myself as dead, and stood to meet my fate. but I noticed he had a bit of a limp, so being the cheap basterd I am, I grabed a stick and went for the leg, my plan worked and I managed to take the big guy down with some fancy moves and pointless backflips.

after my victory some guy told me I didnt really do anything with the lady, I was in fact mudwrestling a goat all night long, and she told me that she had her way with me just cuase she's quite the evil bitch and likes to get people beat up, well I got her back when I stole her underwea.... errr belt buckle *cough*, so anyways the point of this is, only mudwrestle goats when you are sober.

Oh yeah well, back to the point I didnt do an update for a while becuase I have been taking care of my porn smuggling syndicate in madagascar, which was going vary well until I found out there money is like 10000000 dollars to everyone 1 of ours. but I did see some hot chic's when I stoped in egypt to ask for directions and pick up some fresh socks;wouldnt mind calibrating their module's eh.

I supppose I should put some actual news in this. um pans are being developed to take over a country with "special" donuts that "dont" cause people to halucinate and go crazy. The italian job was a good movie 2 thumbs up from teh lewis, matrix on the other hand is no longer considerd a movie by me, but as a way of life. cause cause it had things blow up real cool like hyuck. And then of course stay away from teh Blk becuase he has sars and will beat your wife. oh yeah and Matalica RULES DUDE!!!!!! RIGHT ON!>> OOFMGG wowOWOW!.


May 16th- Orphan Of Darkness

Matrix 2 owns.

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