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Healing Hearts
Issue # 14: February 2006
A newsletter for members of Grieving Parents Internet Community

Newsletter Team:

Karyl Chastain Beal – Assistant Editor
Marv Conover – Mini-memorials/Cyber-Cemetery

KAThy Friedberg – Prayer & Positive Thoughts List
Tissie Gray – Photos & GP Remembrance Wall
Arlene Gundersen – Inspiration

Sue Overton – Records and Reports
Maureen Taggart – Webmaster
Taffy Todd – Editor

Table of Contents
Purpose-Section 1
Articles-Section 2
New Members-Section 3
New Mini-Memorials and Cyber-Cemetery-Section 4
February Website List-Section 5
Prayers & Positive Thoughts-Section 6
Our Memorial Walls-Section 7
New GP Remembrance Wall Names-Section 8
Adding Your Child to the Scrolling Marquee-Section 9
Our Groups-Section 10
Ideas and Feedback-Section 11


You are going about your normal life. The phone rings and your life shatters. Your child has been killed.  

You sit at the hospital bedside. You still have hope. As long as there’s breath, there’s hope; but eventually there is no breath and all hope is gone. Your child is dead.

Our lives collapse. Our grief begins. There are countless scenarios, many variations, all of them equally heartbreaking.  We each have our own unique stories and we all struggle, day to day, to carry on, to go forward without our beloved child. No parent should ever have to suffer the loss of a child. It’s unnatural. It’s not supposed to happen. But to lose another? How do we bear it? How do we go on? 

This week one of our members, Teresa McBride, whose son Aaron died just a little over a year ago in November, 2004, lost her daughter Kenzie in an automobile accident. Emails have poured in to the group. We feel such pain for Teresa and want to do whatever we can to help her as she starts a second, parallel grief journey.  Her experience breaks our hearts and it scares us as well. We’ve lost a child; just the thought of losing another is terrifying. Once we’ve lost a child we realize that the unthinkable can happen. The unthinkable does happen. And most agonizing of all, it can happen again. 

Be comforted, the percentage of parents who lose a second child is small in relation to the number of parents whose child has died. But it happens. We’ve seen it happen. There are a surprising number of our members who know this pain, who have lost two children, or more. I had planned to dedicate this issue to Teresa, Kenzie, and Aaron but it soon became clear that there were many more who needed our love and prayers for their losses as well. We have not always been as aware of their losses as we are of Teresa’s tragedy, but each parent with multiple losses deserves our attention, our love and our compassion. 

Therefore, this issue of Healing Hearts is dedicated to all who have lost more than one child.

It is dedicated to Teresa McBride, her daughter Kenzie and her son Aaron.

It is dedicated to Patricia Turner, her daughter Antoinette, her son Zuri, and her daughter Tavara.

It is dedicated to Linda Pilkerton, her son Jessie and her son Jamie.

It is dedicated to Shari Greer, her son Donnie, her daughter Kathryn Mary, and her son Butch.

It is dedicated to Carol Clark, her son John and her daughter Mary Agnes.

It is dedicated to Lynne Olson, her son Peter and her son Tony.

It is dedicated to Phyllis Foster, her son Robert and her son William.

It is dedicated to Donna Conlon, her son Lachlan and her daughter Ashleigh.

It is dedicated to Patty Williams, her son Aaron and her son Paul

It is dedicated to Rosemary Coole, her son David and her daughter Elizabeth.

It is dedicated to Pat Raske, her daughter Sharon and her daughter Susan.

It is dedicated to Donna James, her son Corey and her daughter-in-law Michelle.

It is dedicated to Deborah Uhlir, her son Cole and her son James.

It is dedicated to Didi Jasperson-Lyon, her daughter and stepdaughter, McKenna and Saige.

It is dedicated to Pat Parker, her son Brian and her son Timothy.

It is dedicated to Joyce Freitas, her son Joseph and her stepdaughter Debbie.

It is dedicated to Vickey O'Neal Woodward, her daughter Belle and her son David.

It is dedicated to Taffy Todd, her son Stuart and her daughter Jill.

To each of you, we hold you and your beloved children in our hearts.


Teresa McBride from Sulphur, Louisiana
Joined GP on 06/23/05, after the death of her son, Aaron
While a member, she lost her daughter just a few days ago, in a motor vehicle accident.

Aaron Joseph Golden (22)
Accidental Aspirin Overdose
08/10/82 ~ 11/14/04

Kenzie Golden Roden (26)
Motor Vehicle Accident


Patricia Turner from Chicago, Illinois
Joined GP 07/16/05. At that time she had lost 2 children.
Shortly after she joined, her 3rd child died.

Antoinette Devore Turner (29)
AIDS Related Complex
09/14/66 ~ 02/09/96

Zuri Kye Turner (26)
Gunshot Wound
02/10/74 ~ 04/13/00

Tavara Turner (35)
03/13/70 ~ 09/24/05


Linda Pilkerton from Waldorf, Maryland
Joined GP 04/11/03, shortly after the loss of her son.
While she was a member she lost her 2nd son.

Jessie Robert Richardson (23)
Oxycodone and Alcohol Overdose
11/23/79 ~ 02/01/03

Jamie Lee Richardson (20)
07/20/83 ~ 03/07/04


Shari Greer from Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada
Joined GP 09/24/00 after having lost 3 children.

Donald Bernard Herbert(9)
Accidental Drowning
11/11/64 ~ 09/12/74

Kathryn Mary Herbert(11)
Born: 11/01/63
Abducted: 09/24/75
Found: 11/17/75

William Butch Herbert(21)
Suicide by Hanging
10/21/61 ~ 03/09/83



Carol Clark from Shepherd, Montana
Joined GP 11/09/04 after the loss of her 2 children.

John Rolf Walker (27)
01/17/61 ~ 04/22/88

Mary Agnes Clark (28)
Bi-Polar Disorder; Gunshot Wound
11/16/74 ~ 08/06/03


Lynne Olson from Auckland, New Zealand 
Joined GP 07/12/02 after the loss of her 2 sons.

Peter Raymond Ellwood (33)
Suicide by Carbon Monoxide
03/30/67 ~ 03/03/01

Tony Trevheron Ellwood (37)
Suicide by Carbon Monoxide
07/21/64 ~ 12/17/01


Phyllis Shirley Ann Foster from Rich Hill, Missouri
Joined GP 03/26/04 after the death of her two sons.

Robert (Bobby) Duane Richardson(9)
Motor Vehicle Accident
01/09/77 ~ 02/02/86

William (Billy) Gene Richardson (16)
Motor Vehicle Accident
09/12/86 ~ 07/03/03


Donna Marie Conlon from Lennox Head, New South Wales, Australia
Joined GP 12/13/03 after the loss of her second child.

Lachlan Jaye Thomas Burrows (4)
Accidental Drowning
12/10/97 ~ 09/07/02

Ashleigh Jaye Louise Burrows (1day)
Meconium Aspiration
03/13/91 ~ 03/14/91


Patty Williams from Jeffersonville, Kentucky
Joined GP 08/31/03 after the death of her two sons in the same motor vehicle accident.

Aaron Williams (17)
Motor Vehicle Accident
12/04/85 ~12/24/02                 

Paul Sanford Williams (19)
Motor Vehicle Accident
12/19/83 ~ 12/24/02


Rosemary Coole from Ontario, Canada
Joined GP 10/06/05 after the loss of her 2nd child.

Elizabeth (21.5mo)
(ALL) Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia
05/09/74 ~ 02/27/76

David (28)
Brain Aneurysm
05/07/77 ~ 09/14/05


Pat Raske from Loveland, Colorado.
Joined GP 02/16/02 after the loss of her 2nd daughter.

Sharon Elizabeth Roberts (14)
Drunk Driver
11/24/64 ~ 10/12/79

Susan Jane Roberts (39)
Suicide (Passive Hanging)
06/03/62 ~ 01/08/02


Donna James from Deltona, Florida
Joined GP 09/21/04 after a motor vehicle accident which claimed both her son and daughter-in-law.

Corey Christopher James (20)
Motor Vehicle Accident
06/16/83 ~ 08/17/03

Michelle Marie James (22)
Motor Vehicle Accident
03/31/81 08/17/03


Deborah Uhlir from Scottsdale, Arizona
Joined GP 11/14/04 after the loss of her 2 sons in the same motor vehicle accident.

Cole Uhlir (10)
Motor Vehicle Accident
09/26/91 ~ 11/23/01

James Dalton Uhlir (7)
Motor Vehicle Accident
07/27/94 ~ 11/23/01


Didi Jasperson-Lyon from Norfolk, Nebraska
Joined GP 10/22/03 after the loss of her daughter and step-daughter together in the same motor vehicle accident.

McKenna Victoria Rohrich (9)
Motor Vehicle Accident
05/14/91 ~ 10/20/00

Saige Ashlin Channing Stevenson (6)
Motor Vehicle Accident
04/06/94 ~ 10/20/00


Pat Parker from Forest City, Pennsylvania
Joined GP on 08/10/04 after the loss of her 2 sons in the same motor vehicle accident.

Brian Joseph Parker (27)
Motor Vehicle Accident
04/12/73 ~ 03/22/01

Timothy Patrick Parker (25)
Motor Vehicle Accident
04/05/75 ~ 03/22/01


Joyce Chretien Freitas now residing in Wells, Maine
Joined GP 01/04/04 after the death of her son.
Several months after she joined, her step-daughter also died.

Joseph J. Chretien, Jr.(25)
Accidental Overdose
01/09/69 ~ 06/20/94

Deborah (Debbie) Jean Doughraty (42)
01/30/62 ~ 09/01/04


Taffy Todd from Greensboro, Vermont
Joined GP 01/18/01, shortly after she lost her daughter.

Frederic Stuart de Peyster Todd (18)Drowned in his car
05/27/71 ~ 03/13/90

Jill Elizabeth Bereza Riley (37)
Heart Failure
04/24/63 ~ 10/12/00

Section 1

This newsletter has been created with you in mind, to give you a summary of some of the important happenings in the group all at once. It's a way of keeping those who are too busy to read all of the messages informed about what's going on. It's a way to help you know that you are part of the group, even if you don't communicate on a regular basis.

Section 2

Articles by Donna Fleischman and Tamura Bush

Donna Fleischman, Bryan’s mom

This past Sunday 1/15 I released a bouquet of balloons for our January birthdays!! Oh what a day! It was kind of cold and breezy out for it had rained on Saturday.

Anyway, I released 25 balloons and each balloon was stuffed with a piece of paper with your child's name on it (first names only). Because December's release was so beautiful at the beach, I thought that I would make this the spot for all releases! It's close to where I pick up the balloons, and with that many balloons it's hard to drive too far.

I keep them all together and have a weight that holds them down so I can see; still it's a lot of balloons. There was a family on the pier as I was walking by, and of course they asked about all the balloons. I explained why and what I was doing. They had their 8 year old daughter with them and I asked the little girl if she wanted to release one of the balloons and she said yes. I okayed it with mom & dad and handed her a balloon, she held the balloon for a few seconds, and then kissed the balloon and then let it go!!! I started to cry, I don't know whose name was in that particular balloon, but an angel kiss went with it!

What a wonderful afternoon all the way home I thought about that little girl, and was trying to imagine what was going through her mind when she did what she did!!

The continuation of this is possible due to a very wonderful and kind man who asked that I only give a first name. He is doing this for me because he knew my son Bryan. Unfortunately there are many people today who would expect him to honor their request for a discount for something they too were planning on doing.

Not that I am an exception--I certainly appreciate what he is doing but also understand how knowledge of the gift he is giving could result in numerous requests.

So, with that...THANK YOU Allen at Party Land for doing this for our children!!!

Tamara Bush, Ryan’s mom

Tami sent us a lovely letter about the newsletter and she had a great idea of something to do in memory of our children that also helps others in need of comfort.

“I loved reading about Donna/Bryan's mom, and what a great thing to send balloons on behalf of all birthdays. I think I would like to do that in September. I did want to share that I was collecting vases and wanted to get flowers on a holiday, take them up to the nursing home, and pass them out to residents to brighten up their day. We did this last Easter. My family came over and 8 of us (my son Ryan included) took flowers and talked to some of the residents. They asked us why we were doing this. We just said to brighten up your days and also said my grandparents were in a nursing home (they have since passed away). We wanted to do it, and we wanted to do it in their memory. We all left feeling so good and I was so happy my son went and enjoyed it. Ryan did not have a lot of good days but this was a good day for him. And this is a good memory of most of our family together with Ryan for Easter. Who would have known this was our last Easter together. But we look back and know we had a special one.”

Later, Tami added in response to my email …

“Yes that would be nice to be included in the newsletter. I remember a lady that we gave a flower to. She asked what my Grandmother's name was that used to be at the nursing home. I told her Georgia and she said she was going to name her flower Georgia.” ~~ Tami, Ryan’s mom.

Our New Members
January 2006

Section 3

We welcome our newest members and are glad that you have found us.


Wendy Stikkelman
James Aaron Gurevich (17)
06/19/88 - 11/24/05
Auto Accident 


Coretta D. Richardson
Destinee' Chanel Richardson (10)
11/01/95 - 11/04/05
Asthma Attack 


Melanie Powals
Zachary Osterman (6.5)
06/27/98 - 01/01/05
Seizure Complications


Penny J. Pepper
Adele Jane Worrall (17)
10/18/87 - 01/13/05
Hit by a Car 


Jeralyn K. Haffer
Jessica Kassandra Haffer (14)
10/02/89 - 11/23/03
Suicide by Gun 


Carole Bern-Barrett
Jonathan Barnes (17)
08/19/88 - 12/11/05


Karel Flickinger
Robert (Robbie) William Seebold (21)
09/18/80 - 10/27/01
ATV Accident

~ Returning Members ~

Cheryl Smart
Carol Rae Smart (18)
12/21/83 - 01/26/02
Auto Accident


Dina Gebhart
Sandra Allison Kay  (16)
02/27/88 -  09/22/04
Auto-Bicycle Accident

Mini-Memorials/Cyber Cemetery for January
Section 4

Name of Parent(s)Name of ChildDate MM
Date Added
to CC


Ronald Jason Mabe


Debbie Kitchen

Chad Damon Kitchen


*Note that CC is Cyber Cemetery and MM is Mini-Memorial.

I would like to remind anyone else who may be considering having their son or daughter added to either, or both, of these sites to send me your information via the online forms available at each site (see addresses below). However, please remember, I cannot add your request unless you have been a member of the GP online support for at least 3 months.

You’ll find the form for requesting a Mini Memorial at:

You’ll find the form for requesting a Cyber Cemetery marker at:

Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

Our Children's Websites
Section 5

Websites for February

In January we began listing our members’ websites for their children. In order to allow plenty of time for us to visit each other’s children, we are choosing 5 per month, at random. If you have any concern that your child’s website might be missing, or have any changes, please let me know at:

Son of Tamura (Tami) Bush

Son of Susan Ruiz 

Son of Lorna Granger 

Daughter of Lisa Watkins 

Son of Camille Lee


Valentine’s Day
from Arlene Gunderson, Dan’s mom 

Many of us dread Valentine’s Day, as we think of our children and how we wish they were here.  After all - weren't WE our child's first Valentines?  But here are some suggestions to help make Valentine's a meaningful day: 

1. Look around you and appreciate those who care about you, be thankful they are in your life. 

2. Rather than expect a card, send a card to someone special in your life and thank them for being them. 

3. Treat yourself on Valentine’s Day. Do something nice - just for you.

4. Call someone who made a difference in your life and thank them for caring about you. 

5.  Take 5 minutes and sit quietly and reflect on all the blessings you've had in your life, and all the blessings you still have. 

6. Do something nice for someone today. . . it may be as simple as smiling at someone you pass on the sidewalk. 

Wishing you all a Valentine's Day filled with smiles, as we sit and think of the memories we treasure in our hearts. 

Valentine's Day ~ a day of "Hearts" and "Love" 

Remember ~ our hearts will always be connected to our children ~ our love remains forever. 

Positive Thoughts and Prayers List
Section 6

There are so many ways we all need prayers said for us. The Prayer and Positive Thoughts List is a place to voice our need for prayers.   

Bernice, Penny's mom/Harlan's grandmother-prayers for herself, her daughter and brother. 

Carol, Patrick's mom-prayers for her husband who is extremely ill. 

Charlane, Shawn's mom-has been ill and going through some treatments.  

Diana, Stephen’s mom-her daughter had surgery. 

Diane, Bryan's mom-needs prayers. 

Jackie, Galen's mom-prayers for her mother. 

Jamie, Ron's mom-prayers for her and her family as they go to trial on Feb. 27th. 

Jane, M’s mom-prayers for her family and for strength for herself. 

Janet, Michelle's mom-prayers for her son who has cancer and for her brother who is ill. 

Jeri, Jessica’s mom-hurt her arm. 

KAThy, Harlan's mom-prayers for her mother, her sister, her uncle, her mother-in-law and father-in-law. 

Lil, John's mom-prayers for herself and her family. 

Linda, Heather’s mom-needs prayers for her health. 

Lynn, Paul's mom-needs prayers for her health. 

Marby, Mikey’s mom-needs prayers for her son and his newborn baby girl. 

Monica, RJ’s mom-prayers for the strength to persevere and bring justice to RJ. 

Pam, Jason's mom-concerns about her health. 

Pat, Carl's mom-prayers for her in-laws and for her uncle. 

Renee, Bradley's mom-prayers for her mother, her father and her father-in-law. 

Rita, Josh's mom-prayers for strength for her family. 

Shari, Donald, Kathryn Mary, & Butch's mom-prayers for herself as she recently had surgery. 

Shaye, Mack's mom-needs prayers for herself and her family for strength.

Shelley, Amy's mom-prayers for upcoming surgery and personal problems. 

Sherrie, Denise's mom-prayers for herself, for her two daughters and for her granddaughter and grandsons. 

Shirley, Bobby & Billy's mom-prayers for her sister for strength for her family. 

Sue, Jason's mom-prayers for herself for health concerns as well as for her daughter who was recently hospitalized. 

Susan, Clint's mom-prayers for stamina, and emotional and mental strength. 

Terrie, Joey's mom-prayers herself for personal problems. 

* ~ If you have announcements about family members who are about to undergo surgery or have recently undergone surgery, are ill, in physical or emotional pain, and/or updates on court dates, memorials, police investigations, or remembrances that you would like added to this list, please email KAThy at ~ *


We also request prayers be said for all mothers and fathers who are grieving the loss of their beloved sons and daughters. 

Prayers also need to be said for all the siblings, grandparents, friends and other loved ones who are grieving with us. 

In your prayers or thoughts, please keep in mind those who are encountering a birth or death anniversary. 

Remember the living children of our group who need strength, compassion, love and understanding. 

Remember those who need a respite from the pain of loss. 

Remember those who need the strength to go forward everyday

Remember the tragedy of losses in Iraq and the families who grieve for their loved ones. 

Please say prayers in memory of Coretta Scott King. 

Everyday there are stories of loss in the newspaper or on the television news. Sending prayers or positive thoughts for each one of those grieving families is a way in which we can help. 

Memorial Walls-A Place For Everyone
Section 7

For those who may be new, or who may have forgotten, we have four memorial walls on which you may place names. I invite you to visit all of them, and to submit names for them where appropriate. There is the Grieving Parents Remembrance Wall, the Suicide Memorial Wall, the Murder Victims Memorial Wall and the We Remember Them Memorial Wall.
– Only for members of GP –
(Remembrance Wall Button)
Moderated by volunteers from POS and FFOS groups
This Wall is only for victims of murder.
This wall is for anyone, anywhere, of any age who has died.

Note: Please consider putting links to all of these memorial walls on your own website if you have links on your site.

New Names on the GP Remembrance Wall

January 2006

Section 8

Laural Victoria Jurban
07 April 2003 - 13 August 2003
Accidental Hyperthermia
Inverness, Florida 

Keith Alan Liles
19 October 1973 - 05 January 2005
Auto Accident
Bridgewater, New Jersey 

Derek Sean Dyson
29 November 1982 - 25 August 2002
Unknown - Classified as Dry Drowning
Delta, British Columbia, Canada  

Patrick (Patman) Sinatore
16 March 1986 - 21 September 2003
Motor Vehicle Accident
Whitehall, Pennsylvania 

James Aaron Gurevich
19 June 1988 - 24 November 2005
Auto Accident
Simi Valley, California 

Destinee' Chanel Richardson
11 January 1995 - 04 November 2005
Asthma Attack
Detroit, Michigan  

Ryan Michael Hook
10 September 1983 - 01 August 2005
PNET Tumor
Galesburg, Michigan

Lillith Jasmine Smith
19 March 2004 - 24 November 2005
Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome
Sidney, Montana 

Thomas William Moore
06 December 1971 - 03 November

Cardiac Arrest
Hillsboro, Tennessee 

Isabella Judith Davis-Cruz
01 November 2005 - 03 November 2005
Umbilical Cord Blood Clot
Forest Grove, Oregon

Jessica Kassandra Haffer
02 October 1989 - 23 November 2003
Suicide by Gun
Garretson, South Dakota  

Steven Wayne Bynum
23 July 1981 - 25 September 2005
Car Accident
Whigham, Georgia 

Zachary Osterman
27 June 1998 - 01/01/05
Seizure Complications
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 

Darryl James Tucker
31 July 1988 - 03 March 2005
Long Beach, California 

Robert (Robbie) William Seebold
18 September 1980 - 27 October 2001
Dune Buggy Accident
Glamis, California 

Jonathan Ray Barnes
18 August 1988 - 11 December 2005
Sharpsburg, Maryland 

Carol Rae Smart
21 December 1983 - 26 January 2002
Auto Accident

Adding Your Child to the Scrolling Marquee
Section 9

Dear Friends,

If you've been a member for at least 3 months and plan to stay with us awhile, we'd be glad to put a photo of your son or daughter on the scrolling marquee and in the GP Photo Album on our website.

Please read the following guidelines:

1. The GP Memorial site is primarily for GP members. This is not to hurt you but to conserve space on our website since we only have a limited amount. Photos take up a lot of space.

If you leave the group or switch to NO MAIL, we will remove your child's photo. We will NOT remove your child's name from the Remembrance Wall, however, since text does not take up a lot of space.

2. After you've been in the group for 3 months, if you plan to stay with us, you can submit your child's photo to me. My email is . Do not reply to a GP message as the group emails will not accept attachments.

Be sure that you have TISSIE: PHOTO OF “Child's Name" in the subject line.

Please also include your child's full name, age at death, dates, cause of death, state and country. 

3. After I receive the request and get the photo, I’ll jump into action at my earliest convenience to put the photo in the scrolling photo marquee and the website Photo Album. 

4. Please remember that I work and must do this when I can.  I, as other volunteers, do this to help others, in memory of our children.

If I don't get things up as quickly as you want them up, please just relax and know that I am doing the best I can and want to do this for you and your child.

5. After I have put your child's photo in the section, I will let you know by announcing it to the group, so watch for your child's name in the subject line.

6. If you send the photo and a week later it's not up, it's okay to send me a note to ask if I didn't receive or forgot.  As hard as I try to do things right and remember, sometimes, I get distracted and forget what I am working on.  Never would I deliberately leave anyone out, so I do appreciate you helping me to remember.

PLEASE don’t reply and send to the group email as attachments are not accepted and I may not get them.  If you want to send a note to me through the group, just put my name in the subject line and I will respond. is the address to use. 

Thanks so much and please let me know anytime I can help in any way. 

My hugs to ALL my GP friends,

Tissie, AVRA’s MOM


You can find the photo groups Tissie works with at the following URLs.

Yahoo Groups Photos: 

GP Website Photo Albums:

Our Groups
Section 10

Grieving GrandParents
This is one of our small partner groups. If you know any bereaved grandparents who would like to join, please let them know about GGP. The new leader, Anita, is trying to revive the group. To join, they should send an e-mail to and put GGP in the subject line. I will send them an invitation and letter, with questions.

Grieving Parents - Christian Sharing
Invitation from Rita Cope Payne, Mom of Josh: This group is a partner of the Grieving Parents community. It is for members of GP who want a separate place to express their faith in Christ as they deal with grief. So far we are a very small group... pretty quiet and not a lot of mail, but it is a nice place to express your faith in Christ. He is the leader of our group. And you can tell Him anything.

Note: If anyone is interested in joining please contact...Karyl, mother of Arlyn

Ideas and Feedback
Section 11

Again, I would like to call on all of you to send me something about your beloved child. Perhaps you have a special memory, something you do to honor your child, or a story you need to tell. Please, share them with us. Send to:

This newsletter is for you.