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Healing Hearts
Issue # 12: December 2005
A newsletter for members of Grieving Parents Internet Community

Newsletter Team:
Karyl Chastain Beal – Assistant Editor
Marv Conover
– Mini-memorials/Cyber-cemetery

KAThy Friedberg - Prayer & Positive Thoughts list
Tissie Gray
– Photos & GP Remembrance Wall
Arlene Gundersen
- Inspiration
Sue Overton - Records and Reports
Maureen Taggart
- Webmaster
Taffy Todd
– Editor

Table of Contents
Welcome-Donna Fleischmann, Guest Columnist

In Memoriam: Linda Ibarra
Ideas and Feedback-Section 1
New Members-Section 2
New Mini-Memorials and Cyber Cemetery-Section 3
GP Statistics-Section 4
Prayers & Positive Thoughts-Section 5

Our Memorial Walls-Section 6
New GP Remembrance Wall Names-Section 7

New Photos on Scrolling Marquee-Section 8

Our Groups-Section 9
Purpose-Section 10
Discussion Board Link-Section 11

Welcome

Donna Fleischman – Guest Columnist   

In the past few months I have asked you all to consider sending in a story of your beloved child to share with us in the newsletter. Donna Fleischman is our first guest columnist. Thank you Donna for this wonderful and touching story. 

“I would like to share a story with the group about my son Bryan McGuire! Bryan's favorite pass-time was riding dirt bikes, and his idol was Jeremy McGrath. When my son was diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer, I went on-line to the Jeremy McGrath fan site, to see if there was anyway to connect with Jeremy.  

“Well I found out that he had retired and that his web site was not going to get me very far, so with that I decided to go to CMS (Corona Motor Sports), here in Corona, CA. I had heard that they were going to have professional dirt bike riders there to sign pictures for kids and adults!!! 

“This was my chance, so I went there and explained what had happened to Bryan and that he was on life support at UCLA Children’s Hospital. I explained that Bryan loved his favorite rider so much, that his home email address was Mcgrathfan15 ( Bryan was 15yrs old). I thought if Jeremy could send something to the hospital letting Bryan know that he was aware of him and to hang on tight, and let's fight this together, it would make Bryan happy. 

“Much to my surprise ALL THE RIDERS THERE THAT AFTERNOON, SAID THEY WOULD TRY AND HELP ME!! 

“They did. I received a phone call on my cell phone one afternoon as I was on the freeway on my way to the hospital to see Bryan, it was Kim McGrath, Jeremy's wife. She told me how sorry she was to hear about Bryan and that Jeremy was out of town, but that she would let him know as soon as he came home. 

“Next Bryan received a phone call in the intensive care unit from JEREMY!!!!!! Bryan was in an induced coma when the call came in from Jeremy, so he tried again and again. Each time he called, my son was either in surgery or in a coma, ( they kept him in a coma a lot, to help keep him calm because his blood pressure was very high). He was so afraid after he learned he had cancer at 15years old.....  

“Jeremy, a few weeks later, sent a get well card and a stuffed animal wearing a dirt bike jersey with Jeremy's # on it to Bryan at the hospital!!! When Bryan woke up from the coma, I showed him what Jeremy sent, it was the first smile I saw on my son since being admitted!! His idol knew he was there and Bryan couldn't believe it.  

“When Bryan passed away I called the cell# they had given me to let Jeremy know that Bryan passed away. At Bryan's funeral there was a very LARGE FLORAL ARRANGEMENT FROM JEREMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have the card that was attached and the animal and of course the get well card that was sent to the hospital!! 

“WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN!!!! HE MAY NEVER KNOW JUST HOW HAPPY HE MADE MY SON, AND I WILL ALWAYS HOLD DEAR TO ME WHAT JUST ONE MAN WAS ABLE TO DO, BECAUSE HE CARED!!!!!!” 

Do you have a story you would like to share with all of us? If you do please send it to me at: Taftodd@sover.net .

This newsletter is for you.

In Memoriam
Linda and Lorenzo Ibarra
 

"God does not want us to live with hatred in our hearts ~ that would take away all the time I have for the wonderful memories of Mikey to be in my heart."           Linda, Mikey's Mom 

Linda Ibarra was a long-time member of our Grieving Parents group. Her son “Mikey” Michael Spencer Wiltsie, died February 5, 2000 when he was crushed to death by a camp counselor who was responsible for restraining him. For years Linda fought to find justice for her son.  

On June 16, 2000 she joined GP and had remained a member ever since. Tuesday, November 29th, 2005, Linda and her 7 year old son, Lorenzo were found dead by her 16 year old son, Brian. Autopsy results are pending.

Many of us remember Linda for her deep love of her children, her sincere compassion for other bereaved parents, and her willingness to be both open and helpful. It is difficult to understand her death but what remains are our memories of the Linda we knew in GP. We will be diminished by her loss and she will be deeply missed. Our hearts go out especially to Brian as well as to Linda’s mother and other family members. An obituary has been published in the Ocala, FL newspaper, but no date was set for a service.

Ideas and Feedback
Section 1

This newsletter is designed to be something you would enjoy reading. We welcome your input in the form of suggestions, reactions, and stories about your children. Contact: Taftodd@sover.net

Our New Members
Section 2
 

We welcome our newest members and are glad that you have found us.

Sharon Underhill
Kerri Genesis Underhill (4)
12/05/00 - 03/30/05
Acute Asthma Attack

˙
Marbelia Rodriguez
Michael Sylvester Rodriguez (6)
08/26/96 - 06/13/03
Motor Vehicle Accident

˙
Michelle Drury
Corrina Jennell Parslow  (18)
01/15/87 -  09/29/05
Car Accident  
˙
Laura Lankford
John Michael Ward (26)
01/22/75 - 08/29/01
Motorcycle Accident
˙
Susan J. Davis
Michelle Elizabeth Rhodes (27) 
02/16/78 - 07/09/05
Drug Overdose

˙
Miranda Dotson
Trinity Jade Dotson  (6.5)
06/25/98 - 05/27/05
ATV Accident

˙

Patty Jacobs
Allen Dale Boring, Jr. (32)
02/17/65 - 05/26/97
Suicide
˙
Melissa Walls
Dustin Paul Walls  (11.5)
10/24/93 - 05/09/05
ATV Accident
˙
Margie Bunch
Michael Steven Stilts  (24) 
09/12/80 - 04/10/05
Murdered

˙
Paula L. Taylor
Jessica L. Taylor (13)
08/03/91 - 07/07/05
Kidney Infection
˙
Mary C. Hosty
Raymond Douglas Koterba (32)
09/17/72  - 03/16/05
Murdered

˙

Donna Fleischman
Bryan Robert McGuire  (15)
12/22/87 - 07/08/03
Lymphoma – Cancer

˙
Susan Ruiz
Samuel (Junior) Danny Ruiz (19)
06/27/86 - 06/27/05
Car Accident
˙
Tracy Guevara
Kurt M. M. Guerrero  (18)
12/26/86 - 06/03/05
Accidental Oxycodone Intoxication
˙
Janice Wheeler
Richard (Cameron) Wheeler  (24)
02/10/81 - 11/14/05
Inconclusive
˙
Debbie Wengert
Kevin Michael Wengert  (17)
10/02/87 -  09/03/05
Murdered; Stabbed
˙
Melissa  (Gillum) Robbins
Renee Dawn Robbins  (8mo)
01/22/03 - 10/12/03
Murdered; Shaken Baby Syndrome
˙
Joyce Harmon
Bradford (Wayne) Wells, Jr.  (42)
06/30/63 - 11/15/05
Heart Failure

When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
-Sufi epigram

Mini-Memorials/Cyber Cemetery
Section 3

Parents   Child’s Name Cyber Cemetery
Jerry and Jeri Lafoon Bryan Wayne Laffoon 11/20/05
Teresa McBride Aaron Joseph Golden 11/29/05

I’d like to say it has been an honor to have had so many of you trust me, to this point in time, to add all of the new Mini Memorials and Cemetery markers of your children who have gone too soon.

I would like to remind anyone else who may be considering having their son or daughter added to either, or both, of these sites to send me your information via the online forms available at each site (see addresses below).

However, please remember, I cannot add your request unless you have been a member of the GP online support for at least 3 months. 

You’ll find the form for requesting a Mini Memorial at: http://michalee.homestead.com/MemInfo.html 

You’ll find the form for requesting a Cyber Cemetery marker at: http://gpcemetary.homestead.com/InformationForm.html

GP Statistics
Section 4

In previous months we have listed our children by age groups. We have also listed parents and children by where they live. In January we will have a new set of GP Statistics for you.

"No matter how many people or how many presents, the pulsating void that seems too large for your heart to hold keeps on drawing your attention back to the child who is missing. As others laugh and play, your thoughts fly away - to Christmases past or a snowy cemetery. Give me a special gift this year.. . let me weep."

~author unknown

Positive Thoughts and Prayers List
Section 5

PRAYERS FOR THE FAMILY OF LINDA IBARRA, MIKEY’S MOM, AND HER 7 YEAR OLD SON LORENZO. SPECIAL PRAYERS FOR BRIAN WILTSIE, ONLY SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.

Bernice, Penny’s mom, Harlan’s grand-mom - prayers for herself and her daughter who is fighting cancer. 

Carol, Patrick's mom - prayers for her husband who is extremely ill.  

Charlane, Shawn's mom - has been ill. 

Diane, Bryan's mom - needs prayers.  

Heather, Zack's mom - recently lost her mom.  

Jackie, Galen's mom - prayers for her mother.  

Janet, Michelle's mom - prayers for her son and for her brother. 

Joyce, Joey & Debbie's mom - prayers for her and her sister whose husband just died. 

KAThy, Harlan's mom - prayers for her mother, for her sister--fighting cancer, for her 80+ year old mother-in-law, and for her husband.  

Lil, John's mom - prayers for herself and her family. 

Lynn, Paul's mom - needs prayers. 

Miranda, Trinity's mom - her step-mother recently passed away.  

Monica, RJ’s mom - prayers for the strength to persevere and find justice for RJ.  

Pam, Jason's mom - concerns about her health.  

Pat, Carl's mom - prayers for her mom's health, for herself and her family. 

Patti, Derek's mom - post-op surgery problems. 

Renee, Bradley's mom - prayers for her mother, her father, and her father in-law.  

Rita, Josh's mom - prayers for strength for her family.  

Rosa, Steve's mom - prayers for son-in-law in Iraq.  

Shari, Donald, Kathryn Mary, & Butch's mom - prayers for her stepson whose nephew died by suicide. 

Sharon, Kerri's mom - for her and her family as they cope with Kerri's death, and for her sister who lost a child [10/10/05-10/18/05].  

Shaye, Mack's mom - was in the hospital and is now on bed rest for a while.  

Shelley, Amy's mom - prayers for personal and family problems.  

Sherrie, Denise's mom - prayers for her two daughters and for her granddaughter and grandsons.  

Shirley, Bobby & Billy's mom - prayers for her sister for strength for her family.  

Sue, Jason's mom - prayers for health concerns.

Teresa, Aaron's mom - prayers as she approaches the first anniversary. 

Terrie, Joey's mom - strength for herself and prayers for her sister who had a heart attack. 

*~If you have announcements about family members who are about to undergo surgery or have recently undergone surgery, are ill, in physical or emotional pain, and/or updates on court dates, memorials, police investigations, or remembrances that you would like added to this list, please send an email to KAThy at five4ever1998@yahoo.com~*

 We also request prayers be said for all mothers and fathers who are grieving the loss of their beloved sons and daughters. 

Prayers also need to be said for all the siblings, grandparents, friends and other loved ones who are grieving with us. 

In your prayers or thoughts, please keep in mind those who are encountering a birth or death anniversary.  

Remember the living children of our group who need strength, compassion, love and understanding. 

Remember those who need a respite from the pain of loss. 

Remember those who need the strength to go forward everyday.

Remember the tragedy of losses in Iraq and the families who grieve for their loved ones - our troops and innocent Iraqis as well. 

Everyday there are stories of loss in the newspaper or on the television news. Sending prayers or positive thoughts for each one of those grieving families is a way in which we can help.

MEMORIAL WALLS-A PLACE FOR EVERYONE
Section 6 

For those who may be new, or who may have forgotten, we have four memorial walls on which you may place names. I invite you to visit all of them, and to submit names for them where appropriate.

There is the Grieving Parents Remembrance Wall, the Suicide Memorial Wall, the Murder Victims Memorial Wall and the We Remember Them Memorial Wall. 

www.grieving-parents.com
– Only for members of GP –
(Remembrance Wall Button) 

www.suicidememorialwall.com
Moderated by volunteers from
POS and FFOS groups

www.murdervictimsmemorialwall.com
This Wall is only for victims of murder.

www.we-remember-them.com
This wall is for anyone, anywhere, of any age who has died.
 

Note: Please consider putting links to all of these memorial walls on your own website if you have links on your site.

New Names on the GP
Remembrance Wall

Section 7

 

Michelle Drury - Mom to
Corrina Jennell Parslow

15 January 1987 -
29 September 2005
Car Accident

 

Laura Lankford - Mom to
John Michael Ward

22 January 1975 -
29 August 2001
Motorcycle Accident

 

Marbelia Rodriguez - Mom to
Michael Sylvester Rodriguez

26 August 1996 -
13 June 2003
Motor Vehicle Accident 

 

Sharon Underhill – Mom to
Kerri Genesis Underhill
05 December 2000 -
30 March 2005
Acute Asthma Attack

 

Miranda Dotson – Mom to
Trinity Jade Dotson

25 June 1998 - 27 May 2005

ATV Accident

 

Patty Jacobs – Mom to
Allen Dale Boring, Jr.

17 February 1965 - 26 May 1997

Suicide

 

Margie Bunch – Mom to
Michael Steven Stilts

12 September 1980
- 10 April 2005
Murdered

 

Melissa Walls – Mom to
Dustin Paul Walls

24 October 1993 - 09 May 2005

ATV Accident

 

Patty Williams – Mom to
Aaron Williams

04 December 1985 -
24 December 2002
Car Accident

 

Patty Williams – Mom to
Paul Sanford Williams

19 December 1983 -
24 December 2002
Car Accident

 

Debbie Wengert – Mom to
Kevin Michael Wengert

02 October 1987 -
03 September 2005
Stabbed

 

Janice Wheeler – Mom to
Richard (Cameron) Wheeler

10 February 1981 -
14 November 2005
Inconclusive

 

Tracy Guevara – Mom to
Kurt M. M. Guerrero

26 December 1986 -
03 June 2005
Accidental Oxycodone Intoxication

 

Helene Kelly – Mom to
Krista Kathleen Kelly

23 November 1976 -
12 July 2005
Brain Aneurysm

 

Donna Fleischman – Mom to
Bryan Robert McGuire

22 December 1987 -
08 July 2003
Lymphoma - Cancer

 

Mary C. Hosty – Mom to
Raymond Douglas Koterba

17 September 1972
- 16 March 2005
Murdered

 

Melissa (Gillum) Robbins – Mom to
Renee Dawn Robbins

22 January 2003 -
12 October 2003
Murdered - Shaken Baby Syndrome

 

Mary Brown – Grandmother to
Keyarra M. Anderson

11 November 1999 -
23 November 2005
Complications of Cerebral Palsy

We cannot cause the wind to blow the way we want it, But we can so adjust the sails that they will take us where we want to go.

~anonymous

Children Added to the Scrolling Marquee
Section 8

There were no new names added to the Scrolling Marquee in November.

TISSIE SAYS:
I would like to add your
child’s photo to the scrolling pictures, Memorial Photo Album or the Yahoo Group Photo Album. Contact me at:  jgray@fcengr.com .

You can find the photo groups Tissie works with at the following URLs: 

Yahoo Groups Photos:
http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/grievingparents/lst 

GP Website Photo Albums:
http://www.angelfire.com/my/grievingparents/PhotoAlbumBabies.html
http://www.angelfire.com/my/grievingparents/PhotoAlbumKids.html
http://www.angelfire.com/my/grievingparents/PhotoAlbumTeens.html
http://www.angelfire.com/my/grievingparents/PhotoAlbumAdults.html

OUR GROUPS
Section 9
 

Grieving GrandParents:  This is one of our small partner groups.  If you know any bereaved grandparents who would like to join, please let them know about GGP. The new leader, Anita, is trying to revive the group. To join, they should send an e-mail to arlynsmom@cs.com and put GGP in the subject line. I will send them an invitation and letter, with questions.

Grieving Parents - Christian Sharing - Invitation from Rita Cope Payne, Mom of Josh: This group is a partner of the Grieving Parents community. It is for members of GP who want a separate place to express their faith in Christ as they deal with grief.

So far we are a very small group... pretty quiet and not a lot of mail, but it is a nice place to express your faith in Christ. He is the leader of our group. And you can tell Him anything.

Note: If anyone is interested in joining please contact...Karyl, mother of Arlyn at arlynsmom@cs.com .

Purpose
Section 10

Purpose: This newsletter has been created with you in mind, to give you a summary of some of the important happenings in the group all at once. It's a way of keeping those who are too busy to read all of the messages informed about what's going on. It's a way to help you know that you are part of the group, even if you don't communicate on a regular basis.

Discussion Board
Section 11

Suicide Discussion
http://www.b2g4.com/boards/board.cgi?&user=suicidediscussionboard