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The Short Story



From the Graphic Garden

The Birth Story of Elizabeth Grace

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I really feel to get a true perspective of how much of a miracle Elizabeth Grace is you need to know more about me. My husband and I are Christians. One might say passionate even.

We decided to start a family just a few months after we were married. The heartache of trying for years was very difficult. We thought that we would have a large family. I'm not saying more than 3 kids; I'm saying 10 or more.

As life continued, we continued to trust the Lord for our family size. Trusting in the Lord is the most restful way to survive LIFE! :-)

I had severe infertility caused by polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). In 21 years of marriage and no birth control, I gave birth to 3 children. It took 5 years to get pregnant with my oldest. Only 2 years later, I became pregnant with my son. Ten years of infertility went by when the Dr called to say after years of trying to get on Clomid, that he felt that it was OK. The bad news, my insurance would not cover it. I cried for two weeks. It was just a few months after my broken heart of not being able to use a fertility drug, my preemie, Elizabeth Grace was conceived!

I was high risk from the beginning. Being diabetic and over 37 years old and with so many years of infertility, increased my risks. My blood sugar was quite fine for the first few months.

My problems began the day that I had visual sparks. I decided to check my blood sugar. It was fine. My sugar level did not cause the sparks. After thinking about it, I figured that I should check my blood pressure though I had never been diagnosed with blood pressure problems. It was 140/101 using an in home BP cuff. I immediately called the Dr. and went in for a BP check. They confirmed my BP as being high. That was Oct 10, 1998. I was just about 6 weeks along.

My BP was only controlled for the first few days by the first medication regimen. By 20 weeks my medications had been added to and added to. I was taking the most medication the Dr's had ever heard of for blood pressure control. I was in the hospital, on strict left-lying bedrest, blood pressure medications and insulin for the duration of my pregnancy. Each shift of the nurses, I was put on a fetal monitor to keep a close eye on the happenings within my womb. I had also been given steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs and blood vessels of the brain.

As I laid in the bed on my left side day in and day out I never felt lonely. I often prayed and read Christian books. One night I felt as if the Lord was cuddling me. I honestly felt His warm embrace. I spoke quietly with Him for a good long while. This was such an unexpected blessing. I write about it to help keep myself from forgetting.

The Dr came in the morning Elizabeth Grace was born to tell me that there were some ominous monitor changes in the night of Feb 23rd. He told me to not eat breakfast and that an ultrasound was scheduled.

I called my husband and laid in the bed wondering if I should take a shower or wait. Trusting in the Lord was the only way that I was able hold my sanity. I knew that the Lord knew my daughter better than I did. He created her! Even with the trust in the Lord I was unable to make the simple decision to take a shower. Wondering if Mark was going to make it, wondering if my worrying was raising my blood pressure, laying and praying that things were going according to the Lord's plan.

The Dr wanted me to ask the technician to call him into the room when the ultrasound was done. As the US was done, SHE WAS HEAD DOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME! I was so excited, NATURAL BIRTH! BUT - Elizabeth Grace did not move. They tried to stimulate her with manipulations of my abdomen, then tried a loud noise and another attempt and one more ... The Dr sped out of the room and returned to tell me I was to have surgery in 30 min. He then apologized that my husband was going to miss the birth. BUT, Mark did make it. Elizabeth Grace was delivered by emergency c-section a very hurried 20 minutes later.

The delivery was so odd to me. I'd had a few surgeries in the past and as a nurse had prepped many patients. Glasses and other personal belongings just didn't go into surgery but there I lay having had a spinal block of sorts in surgery with my glasses and pillow. (I'm unsure of what my anesthetic was since the Dr's had to discuss and decide what would be best in our specific situation. They changed their minds along the way and I've forgotten.)

I was quite surprised at the severe "pressure" I felt. I was informed that it was not pain..... I had to ask for some pain meds. It hurt! My husband was shocked. They did not slip the baby through a small incision as seen on television c-section births but pulled me open in a manner that created a CRADLE from my WOMB. In my cradling womb, the Dr cut the umbilical cord and did the first suctioning of Elizabeth Grace's mouth and throat - ALL BEFORE LIFTING HER FROM ME! This was likely done to conserve body her heat.

The biggest thrill of the morning was hearing my baby cry!!!!! Oh my, I did not expect that at all!

Seen-as-how she was crying, I figure she was breathing so one little ten-second look would have been wonderful but was not offered to me. They did role my bed to hers after recovery but my pain was so bad that I could not get an angle to see anything. I was able to slip my hand into her Isolette and touch her. I later discovered why I could not see her through the glass. There is a BAD GLARE off Isolettes. I did not learn of her birth stats until later in the week. She weighed in at one pound ten ounces and 13 inches long.

2 weeks went by before I could really see her as the Isolettes glare the room light so bad and we kept a dark cover over it so that light was limited in her bed. I so wanted to see her without any glare so I'd do a little peek through the Isolette's armhole.

She required every medical assistance available. She was on a ventilator with oxygen, hand bagged by the nurses when the vent was not sufficient, in an Isolette (incubator), smeared with Vaseline, in a clear plastic shirt, frequent suctioning, monitors of several sorts, IV's, TPN feedings and the best nursing and Dr care available.

We could not pat or rub her but we were allowed to "hand swaddle" her. I went to see her every day that was possible. It's hard to decide to allow yourself to heal or go see your baby. I cried every time that I could not hold my sweet Tiny. I would have asked the hospital to have a 'cuddler' spend some time with her if I'd have known it was available. I know that the gentle loving touch is important for people and felt it was so much more important for her since she was getting poked and prodded causing pain so very often. Just thinking that Elizabeth Grace had no one that had time to spend quality gentle touching time broke my heart. It was that very thought, of her not having someone to touch her that tore me up.

We did not get to hold her outside of her Isolette for the first week. Then there was a 20 sec hug and kiss. AND - the first time I saw her without the glare of the wall of her incubator! We started "kangaroo care" at 2 weeks, the first time I got to actually hold her. The joy that overflowed in my heart was too much to describe! It was more than holding my first born for the first time. In fact every thing that has been accomplished in the past 3 years since her birth means so much more than for my children that came the 'easy way.' I do not love them less it's just different!

She did have all the problems expected for such a 28 week gestation baby born SGA, small for gestational age, or IUGR, intrauterine growth restricted, but the medical interventions all worked absolutely perfectly.

She had heart murmurs that had to be treated with medication. It took two doses to succeed with it but it worked and surgery was avoided. She went through respiratory distress syndrome (RDS) and bronchopulmonary disease (BPD). Elizabeth Grace had grade I brain bleed and grade I retinopathy of prematurity (ROP). I would dare say that there are diagnoses that I am forgetting or was not aware of.

We enjoyed the time in the hospital in many ways. I used every possible way to picture her in ways that made it easier for others to depict her size. I knew if they could not understand how small she was in pictures that I would probably have difficulty remembering her size when she did grow. I took a picture of her with my size 6 wedding band on her arm. I took weekly pictures of her with a specific pencil bought just for her. I will take the last picture of her using when she starts kindergarten. I took a picture of the family in their Easter clothes then her sitting in her sister's Easter hat. I took a picture of her hand and footprints with a ruler and toothpicks laying along side them.

As she grew and began to show signs of being able to survive outside the hospital environment, my desire to have her home grew. The pain of having to leave her when I knew she really wanted me was terribly difficult. I wanted oh so to tuck her in my coat and go. The fear of the unknown was probably the main reason why I waited on the Drs.

Often I would go to the hospital just to sit and watch her sleep knowing that touching her would burn calories so I sat and stared all the while filling in her baby book.

When I was told that we were aiming for the day to go home and that all that was left for us to go home was for her to gain weight by breastfeeding alone with no supplemental tube feedings, I set my heart to get through it QUICKLY. I spent every available moment at the hospital. Three days of no weight gain followed by two days of weight loss ... How long was it going to take to be able to bring my baby home?! OK, weigh the baby, breastfeed, weigh the baby add supplements then do it again and again. I knew I could do it at home (or could I?) I spent the night three separate times. I was going prove that we could do it. I wanted to get this baby home.

I caught myself biting my lip, HARD. I pulled my own hair. I wanted to scream. I wanted to slug something. The frustrations that built up during the months of her hospitalization and having to divide my life from home and hospital was obvious. It was not enough to keep me away though. I couldn’t stay home. Even the days that I decided to eat supper with the family before leaving out to the hospital proved to increase my frustrations. The knowing that there was an end to the running around like a chicken with my head cut off helped.

I was tired, frustrated and wanting my baby home. I begged the Drs to look over our situation. Please, just let us go home. One more week they were guessing. Again, I went home in tears. Then that very next morning the phone rang. It was Elizabeth Grace's Dr calling to let me know that she was being discharged the following day!!!!!!!! Oh the joy! The excitement! The tears!!!

Elizabeth Grace was discharged on an apnea monitor and oxygen for feeds only! I could handle that! She was assigned two home health nurses that took turns coming daily to check on us. We never had to look back! God is so Good !!!!

Elizabeth Grace's health has not been as 'sturdy' as her older siblings but pretty close. Almost a year after her birth she began having episodes of cyanosis, turning blue, which ended up happening just a day or so before she became sick with a cold or virus. She was diagnosed with a heart murmur that closed itself by the time she was 2 1/2 yrs old. She had severe ear infections and even a ruptured eardrum. Getting tubes in her ears followed the rupture. THEN, she had an extra large hernia that probably appeared due to the screaming from the ruptured eardrum. It was repaired 2 weeks after the tubes were placed. One more surgery just months later to have her tonsils and adenoids removed since she began experiencing apnea in her sleep. Now she's been very healthy with just a few more colds than her older siblings seemed to catch. She just celebrated her 3rd birthday. She has overcome an 18-mo speech delay and is daytime potty trained! I call her my DOLLY along with many other terms that exemplify her continued tininess. Elizabeth Grace will be 5 in a few days. A month before her 4th birthday, she had a 6 day stay at the hospital with pneumonia. She's had another bad cold this winter that I took her to the ER for. She was quite fine. It just scared me. Elizabeth Grace can spell and write her name. We've started homeschooling her preschool/kindergarten. She has hit a growth spurt outgrowing size 3 AND 4s this winter.

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