Ah know fer a fact that everyone had this pool goin’ on ‘bout how Ah’d react when Logan came back. Was Ah gonna cry? Was Ah gonna scream? Was Ah gonna throw mahself in his arms? There was a whole list o’ things that they could chose from an’ whoever guessed the right action got the money. Ah didn’t know exactly what was on the list, but Ah knew that Ah wasn’t gonna do anythin’ they expected me t’ do.
‘Course, none o’ them knew that Logan an’ Ah had been talkin’ on the phone an’ that Ah was headin’ up north t’ meet him. Logan had found out somethin’ ‘bout his past an’ was in desperate need o’ a friend. He refused t’ tell me what he’d learned so Ah knew it had t’ be bad. Logan’s not exactly the type t’ overreact.
Logan wired me the money that Ah’d need t’ get where he was. Ah was s’pose t’ get the money from the Western Union downtown then hop on a train that would take me to a small town north o’ Jasper National Park. Ah would o’ rather taken the jet, but that would mean they’d know where Ah was goin’. Not that the Professor wouldn’t figure it out with that brain finger o’ his, but Ah hoped that he’d trust me enough t’ let me go t’ Logan.
Ah left a note fer the Professor on his desk, explainin’ the situation t’ him without namin’ where Ah was goin’. Ah didn’t want him t’ worry ‘bout me an’ send out a search party. Ah could only imagine what Scooter would do when he found out where Ah was headin’. Puttin’ it mildly, he’d throw a fit an’ refuse t’ let me anywhere near Logan.
‘Course Ah’m not that delusional.
So Ah told no one ‘bout mah plans an’ just quietly packed mah bags while Ah made plans t’ head up north t’ Logan. There was no doubt that Ah was gonna go. Logan needed me. It was as simple as that. Ah’ll always be there fer Logan. He’s a part o’ me an’ Ah’m not just talkin’ ‘bout the fact that Ah have him in mah head. Ah know that everyone thinks Ah have a crush on him, but it’s more than that. Ah’ve waited mah who life t’ feel like Ah feel fer Logan. An’ the fact that he’s askin’ fer me says a lot ‘bout what he feels fer me.
Two days after Ah got the call from Logan, Ah was sittin’ on a train on the exact same track Ah’d been on when Erik kidnapped me. Ah kept glancin’ ‘round, expectin’ the worst. The worst never happened, though. The train pulled away without any mishaps.
Then mah mind was focused solely on Logan an’ what could possibly be bad enough fer him t’ call me.
It had t’ be bad. That much Ah knew fer sure. Logan wouldn’t call unless it was bad. He didn’t like people thinkin’ that he was weak in any way. Askin’ fer help was somethin’ that Logan had a hard time doin’. So Ah wasn’t ‘bout t’ let him down when he needed me.
Even if it meant travellin’ in a stuffy train car fer several days.
Ah couldn’t even have a relaxin’ trip ‘cause mah mind was constantly goin’. Wonderin’ what on earth could be so bad that Logan would call fer me. Why he’s want me there an’ no one else.
Ah constantly found mahself fiddlin’ with the tags that Logan gave me. They were a solid link t’ his past that he’d left with me. They were his most prized possession. Ah know that not ‘cause o’ the fact that Ah have him in mah head, but ‘cause o’ the way he was constantly reachin’ fer them when Sabertooth had them an’ the look Ah’d seen on his face when he gave them t’ me. Ah could tell that it was hurtin’ him t’ give them up, but that he knew Ah’d take care o’ them till he could fulfill his promise t’ me.
We were goin’ a little in reverse, but we were still gonna be t’gether again.
Needless t’ say, by the time Ah reached the little whole in the wall town, Ah was practically insane with worry. It had been ‘bout a week since Logan had called me an’ so much coulda happened between then an’ mah arrival. Ah was terrified that somethin’ bad had happened t’ Logan. His mental state has never been the most stable an’ whatever he had found woulda thrown him off.
So Ah rushed from the train station in a rented car towards the small town where Logan was waitin’ fer me. Ah had the name o’ the hotel he was stayin’ at so all Ah really had t’ do was show up. Ah desperately wanted t’ call Logan an’ let him know that Ah was in the area, but Ah didn’t know the number o’ the hotel off hand an’ none o’ the phone booths had phone books. So without a number t’ call, Ah got inta mah rented car and sped down the highway towards Logan.
Frist time ‘round Ah drove right past the small town. Ah only realized Ah’d gone too far when Ah passed the remains o’ a burnt out military base. Ah did a completely U-turn and sped back down the highway in the other direction. This time Ah paid more attention an’ caught site o’ the narrow dirt road that led t’ the town. It was another ten miles or so t’ the town. Ah went directly t’ the hotel Logan gave me the name o’, pullin’ up right next t’ Scooter’s missin’ bike.
Not botherin’ with mah luggage fer the time bein’, Ah rushed inta Logan’s room.
Ah knew that Ah shouldn’t o’ been surprised by the condition o’ the room, but Ah was. Empty beer bottles were everywhere. Some pieces o’ furniture had been trashed an’ there were papers scattered on every flat surface imaginable.
At first, Ah couldn’t see Logan anywhere. Ah honestly thought he was gone. That Ah’d taken too long an’ Logan had up an’ disappeared. Ah wouldn’t o’ put it past him. Logan had a habit o’ runnin’ when things got rough. He had awful ways o’ copin’ with hard times an’, more often than not, he ran. When Logan had been through all the shit he has, it becomes a survival instinct t’ run. Lord knows Ah’ve done the same thing often enough.
Steppin’ further inta the room, Ah found Logan crouched in a corner, hidin’ in the darkness. He was tremblin’ slightly an’ naked as a jaybird. Ah approached him slowly, not entirely sure o’ his mental state. Ah caught sight o’ his eyes fer a moment an’ knew fer a fact that it was Logan in control an’ not the Wolverine. There was a bone deep pain in his eyes. Nothin’ physical, but a deep sadness that can not be ignored.
Ah approached him slowly, crouchin’ down so that Ah could keep eye contact with him at all times. At first Ah wasn’t sure if he recognized who Ah was till his eyes softened an’ a single tear slid down his cheek.
“Marie....” Logan moaned, his voice thick and gravely.
Logan slid forward then, all but collapsin’ inta mah arms. Ah held him tightly, runnin’ mah gloved hands through his hair an’ over his naked back. He was tremblin’ violently, so much so that mah own body was shakin’.
“It’s all right, Logan. Ah’m here now. Everything’s gonna be okay. Shhhhh.... Just relax, sugah. Just relax,” Marie murmured in his ear, mah lips inches from his skin.
Ah’m not sure how long we stayed like that, sprawled out on the ground wrapped ‘round each other. While Ah shushed Logan an’ did mah best t’ calm him down, Ah couldn’t help but glance at some o’ the papers strewn ‘bout us. What Ah saw shocked the hell outta me.
Most o’ them were diagrams. Fuckin’ graphic diagrams o’ Logan an’ the metal skeleton he’d been given by the bastards from the government. It was like lookin’ inta Frankenstien’s diary. There were photographs across the room, but they were too far away fer me t’ see clearly. One thing was fer certain, they had been taken durin’ some sort o’ surgery. Ah didn’t need t’ be a genius t’ figure out what kinda surgery it was.
“Ah’m so sorry, sugah. Ah hate that ya had t’ find all this out by yerself,” Ah said sadly. “But Ah’m not goin’ anywhere. Not as long as ya need me.”
It took a while, but eventually Logan seemed t’ calm down. The sobs eventually stopped an’ Logan just laid there quietly in mah arms. He seemed t’ relax even more when Ah focused mah attentions on his head an’ neck. Ah ran one hand continuously through his hair while the fingers o’ mah other hand were massagin’ the corded muscles on the back o’ his neck.
“Logan, Ah’m gonna run out t’ the car fer a minute--”
Logan sat up suddenly, cuttin’ me off an’ scarin’ the shit outta me. His eyes were wide, fear shinin’ brightly in his eyes.
Cuppin’ his cheeks, Ah pulled him forward an’ pressed a kiss t’ the top o’ his head. “Ah’m only gonna be a minute, sugah. Ah hafta go get mah bag. There’s a body suit in there that Ah wanna put on so Ah can help ya have a shower. Ah’ll only be a minute. Ah promise.”
It took a little more coaxin’, but Ah was eventually able t’ convince Logan t’ let me go out t’ the car. Ah was quick as possible, practically runnin’ the entire way. Ah was only gone ‘bout a minute an’ a half, but when Ah came back Logan was in exactly the same position he’d been when Ah first arrived. Curled up in the corner, his legs pulled protectively against his chest.
Throwin’ modesty t’ the wind, Ah started strippin’ outta mah clothes, tossin’ them onta the bed that was covered with medical documents and photos. Ah chose t’ ignore them fer the time bein’ an’ focus solely on Logan. He was what’s important, not what had happened in the past. So Ah was gonna be there fer him an’ help him get his head on straight once again
Ah could feel Logan’s eyes on me as Ah searched through mah bag fer the body suit the Professor had given me. It was so sheer that ya could barely tell that Ah had anythin’ on. It covered everythin’ but mah hands an’ mah face. Pullin’ on an extra pair o’ opera gloves, Ah walked back over t’ Logan, gently pullin’ him t’ his feet. He kept his hands on me at all times, refusin’ t’ let go as he walked inta the bathroom, snaggin’ mah bath bag along the way. There were no papers in here, but, thankfully, there were some clean towels. Logan kept his hands on mah waist as Ah set the bag down on the sink and pulled out a bottle o’ shampoo an’ conditioner as well as a bottle o’ body wash.
Turnin’ back ‘round, Ah lightly cupped Logan’s cheek, grinnin’ up at him. “Everythin’ is gonna be all right now, sugah. Yer safe now. That’s a promise.”
The tiny smile that appeared on Logan’s face at mah words nearly broke mah heart. In all mah life Ah’ve never had someone look at me like that. There was so much love an’ devotion in his eyes that it caught me completely off guard.
With a few gentle nudges and quiet instructions, Ah directed Logan inta the shower. He kept his hands on me at all times, moanin’ loudly as the warm water began t’ beat against his skin. Pourin’ some o’ the body wash inta mah hands, Ah began t’ lather it against his skin. Ah messaged all the tense muscles, earinin’ quite a bit o’ moans an’ gentle purrs from Logan. When mah fingers began makin’ their way down his back, he pressed his body flush against mine, restin’ his head against mah shoulder.
One would think that bein’ in such an intimate position woulda been highly sexual. After all, Logan was the first man Ah’d ever seen naked, but Ah had no desire t’ jump his bones like Ah woulda done had the situation been any different. But this was ‘bout takin’ care o’ Logan. That was really all there was t’ it.
So Ah washed his entire body from head t’ foot, shampooin’ his hair an’ touchin’ him real gentle as though he were made o’ glass. After what he’d just learned, Logan needed some real gentle care. He needed me t’ be real calm, real careful an’ just take care o’ him. Which was exactly what Ah was gonna do. Most people think that Ah consider Logan mah knight in shinin’ armor. But Ah don’t. Ah know better than most that Logan has a vulnerable side. He’s not some unstoppable machine that keeps goin’ no matter what ya throw at him. Logan can be hurt just as easily as the next person an’ Ah love him all the more ‘cause he lets me see that side o’ him.
Once Ah had him clean, Ah got Logan dry an’ led him towards the bed. Ah quickly pulled off the top blanket, tossin’ all the papers that covered it onta the floor. Logan was so completely exhausted that he all but fell inta the bed. Ah helped him inta a more comfortable position an’ pulled the bottom sheet up over him.
“Ya just rest now, sugah,” Ah whispered, brushin’ a kiss against his sideburn an’ runnin’ mah fingers through his wet hair. “Ya really need it.”
“Thank you,” Logan mumbled, his eyes already droopin’ shut.
“Ya don’t hafta thank me, sugah,” Ah told him, smilin’ softly at him.
Within a few minutes, Logan was out like a light. Ah watched him sleep fer a few minutes, mah fingers movin’ continuously through his hair. He looked so peaceful now that he was sleepin’. His lashes were restin’ gently against his cheeks, flutterin’ slightly as he dreamed. Ah waited till he was sound asleep ‘fore Ah got up an’ slipped outta mah body suit an’ inta a pair o’ sweats an’ a long sleeve shirt. Ah then started collectin’ the papers that were scattered ‘round the room.
The things that Ah saw on those papers created an anger in me that Ah’ve never felt before. Each o’ the hundred plus papers was ‘bout Logan. Some were ‘bout his life before he got taken, while most o’ them archived everythin’ that had been done t’ him. Each minute detail was clearly sketched an’ documented. Vivid pictures and descriptions that told the clear story o’ what had been done t’ Logan.
There was one picture that broke her heart an’ brought tears t’ her eyes. It was a picture o’ a little girl with curlin’ dark hair an’ Logan’s eyes. She had a bright smile an’ was wavin’ at whoever was takin’ the picture. On the back in flowin’ script were the words, Anastasia Hunters, 1968. Age 4.
Logan had a daughter. Accordin’ t’ other papers Ah’d looked at, Logan’s last name was Hunters. He’d been born in the mid-forties, worked as a lumberjack on the British Columbia coast, an’ fallen in love with a woman named Tatyana. They’d been engaged when Tatyana got pregnant. She died givin’ birth t’ the infant. Five years later in a crash choreographed by the government, Anastasia had died an’ Logan was taken prisoner an’ turned inta the government’s playthin’. Logan had loved his baby girl an’ she’d died ‘cause o’ him.
“Gawd, Logan, Ah’m so sorry,” Ah murmured, wipin’ the ears from mah eyes. Ah gathered all the papers in a bundle an’ put them in the bottom o’ mah bag.
Once Ah was sure that Ah had all the papers gathered, Ah slipped inta the bed next t’ Logan. Almost instantly, he rolled towards me. Ah gathered him readily in mah arms, holdin’ him tight against me.
Ah knew that it was gonna take a while t’ get Logan back t’ his normal self, but Ah was more than willin’ t’ help him. After all, Logan had saved mah life more than once, an’ even if Ah didn’t love him as much as Ah do, Ah’d still owe it t’ him t’ help him. It’s ‘cause Ah love him so much that Ah’ll do whatever’s in mah power t’ help him. Ah knew that nothin’ would replace the little girl he’d lost or the memories that went with her, an Ah wasn’t ‘bout t’ make him ferget ‘bout her. In fact, Ah had the snapshop framed fer him.
It took me several months t’ get Logan back t’ his old self, but it was well worth it. We’re livin’ in a cabin built on the same land where Logan lived ‘fore his life was taken away from him. The solitude did us both wonders. Not only did it help calm Logan and bring him back inta himself, but it also helped me get more in touch with mahself so that Ah was able t’ learn t’ control mah powers. Logan an’ Ah can touch now an’ it’s a wonderful feelin’. We got married ‘bout a year ago an’ are expectin’ our first child in a couple weeks. Logan says it’s gonna be a boy, but Ah have mah bets on it bein’ a girl. A woman knows these kinda things.
An’ if it is a little girl, Ah know that Logan’ll be her knight in shinin’ armor even if he isn’t invincible.