The Barkley Library

Vain Regrets

By Muddle

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

"When vain desire at last, and vain regret
Go hand in hand to death, and all is vain.
What shall assuage the unforgotten pain
and teach the unforgetful to forget?" Rossetti

August 3, early morning--Breakfast with the Barkleys

The lanky black-haired man stomped into the dining room, his spurs jangling with every step. "Hotter than blazes and it's only 6:00," he growled disgustedly at the group sitting at the table.

"Good morning to you too, Nick," serenely replied the woman sitting at the head of the table, her white hair the only apparent concession to age.

"With you in such a good mood, I'm glad that Heath gets to go with you on this trail drive instead of me." murmured the man sitting at the opposite end of the table.

"And just where is Heath? We have too much to do to have him wastin' time. We need to get an early start. This drive is gonna be hard enough in this heat without him poking around." Nick grumbled as he heaped his plate with eggs and bacon at the sideboard.

"Just making sure the chuck wagon is loaded with extra water, big brother," drawled the muscular blond entering the dining room.

"You better stock up on a good breakfast while you have a chance. We're gonna be eatin' off the chuck for the next month, and I don't know it that new trail cook is much better at it than you, little brother." replied Nick.

Heath shook his head sorrowfully as he finished filling his plate and sat next to Nick at the table. "I don't know why my cookin' got such a bad reputation."

"Maybe, it's because some people have tasted it," his elfin sister giggled. Heath reached out his right foot and tapped Audra's foot under the table.

"Perhaps you should explain to Audra about post calling kettles black, Mother," Jarrod said winking at his mother at the other end of the table.

"That's enough teasing this morning," declared Victoria Barkley firmly as she gazed at her family gathered around the table. "Nick is there any other ranch business that needs to be handled while you two are on the drive?"

"Even with cuttin the herd by sellin this bunch of cows we're gonna be in trouble if this dry spell keeps on. Jarrod, can you try to get us some more water rights?"

"And where would you propose I acquire those?"

Heath responded, "I heard the widow Kirkland isn't runnin cattle since Abner died. Her ranch borders us and it has plenty of water. You could try to lease some of that land."

"Rebecca went east to live with her daughter. Andy White is handling her business affairs," Victoria added.

"That's a good idea. I'll talk to Andy about it today," Jarrod said pouring himself another cup of coffee.

"Should have been seen to weeks ago, Jarrod. If you weren't too busy in Modesto with that trial to see to the legal problems of this ranch we wouldn't be makin this drive. Come on Heath, we have to git." Nick strode out of the dining room.

Heath gulped down the rest of his coffee and grinned as he ambled out of the room. "Guess I get to argue with Nick on the trail now."

"Nick likes to argue," replied Victoria. "You two finish your breakfast. Then we'll all go out and see the boys off."

Part 2

September 5, early evening

Jarrod drove the buggy back to the ranch, but perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the horse took the carriage back itself. Jarrod's thoughts were caught up in the discussions he had held with Andy White, business friends, and that executor Bell. Each scrap of information left him with more questions. What did this mean and what would this portend for his family?

In the drawing room

Nick paced restlessly around the drawing room. Victoria looked up from the book she was reading and said, "Nick I wish you would settle down, peas on a hot shuttle are nothing compared to you when you get worried."

"We just came back from a month's long cattle drive. It hasn't rained for weeks. We're facing the worst draught I've ever seen. Jarrod didn't manage to lease water rights from the Kirkland's and you tell me to be calm." Nick paced faster around the room pausing only at the foot of the stairs. He yelled out, "Heath, get out of that tub and get down here."

"Jarrod can hardly be blamed for not getting the Kirkland water rights. The property was sold before he talked to Andy White. Could you pour some sherry while you're stomping around please?"

Nick turned back to his Mother, "And that's another thing, who is this mystery man who stole the Kirkland place from us?"

Audra laughed, " A mysterious man in the valley. Nobody knows why he came or what he wants. Isn't it just like a novel from the Bronte sisters, Mother?"

Heath came down the stairs, fastening his shirt cuffs as he descended. "Easy now Nick, what's wrong this time?"

Nick whirled around and opened his mouth to speak. At this moment, the front door opened and Jarrod walked in.

Victoria said. "Nick I told you to pour some sherry. Let's allow Heath and Jarrod to get settled and then we'll discuss this situation calmly."

"I take it that you're upset about the Kirkland sale." Jarrod took a glass of sherry from Nick's hand and sat next to Victoria on the settee.

"Of course I'm upset. This ranch needs that water. Have you managed to find out if the new owner will lease us some? Do you even know who the new owner is?"

"I've spoken with the attorney who handled the purchase and I've checked with business people in San Francisco. The buyer made a lot of money in the gold mines near the Tuolumne. He's pretty much a recluse. Not too many know much about him but there is a lot of gossip about." Jarrod turned and looked at Heath. "Name of Robertson Owens..."

"Uncle Robbie." said Heath looking befuddled. "How could it be Uncle Robbie? Why would he buy a ranch here?"

"Alright Heath, who is this 'Uncle Robbie'? I thought your mother's brother was named Simmons. Where does this uncle come from?" Nick advanced toward Heath.

"He's not really my uncle. It's like with Aunt Rachel and her husband Jake. Friends of my mother that were like relatives. More like relatives than Uncle Matt and Aunt Martha ever were.." Heath's voice trailed off and he appeared to be looking far away.

"Go on Heath," Victoria prompted gently.

"They all came to Strawberry together. He used to help Mama out sometimes. When I was a boy I thought we'd end up as a family. He had a funny way of tricking people into doing what he wanted. Every time I saw him he got me to ask Mama when she was gonna marry him. That really used to make Mama ruffle up." Heath chucked briefly and then became somber. "Then when I was about 10 he just went away. And Mama never would tell me why."

"That might mean something, Heath. I'm sorry to tell you he died two weeks ago. His executor wants to speak to you. We need to go into San Francisco tomorrow and see to matters."

Silas came into the parlor to announce supper. Audra linked arms Heath and walked with him to the dining room. As they walked she teasingly kept trying to get him to tell her more about the mysterious Mr. Owens. Nick followed closely behind them trying to get his own questions into the conversation.

Jarrod offered his arm to his mother. She looked at him sadly. "I hate it when Heath's old history keeps coming back. You'll see he doesn't get hurt again?" she said in a low voice.

"I know it's where he is most vulnerable, Mother. I'm also afraid he'll be hurt but we'll all see that he doesn't get lost," Jarrod whispered back.

Part 3

September 6

That next afternoon Jarrod and Heath sat waiting in Michael Bell's office. Jarrod noticed that Heath was making small fidgeting motions. He knew that his outwardly calm brother was coiled tightly. Jarrod shifted his chair slightly so he could watch both Heath and Bell.

A stout balding man bustled into the office. He crossed over to shake hands with Jarrod and Heath. "Good afternoon Mr. Barkley. Hello, Heath, Mr. Owens spoke so fondly of you, I feel as if I know you already. Did my clerk offer you some coffee?" Bell rushed back to the door, open it it and demanded refreshments.

Bell came back and sat behind his desk. "Sit gentlemen, sit. Mr Owens left certain obligations behind to you Heath. We should get started with them. I take it that Mr. Jarrod Barkley is here acting as your attorney."

Heath looked squarely at Bell and replied, "Yes, but mostly he's here acting as my brother. Now do you want to tell me what the devil is going on?"

Bell rustled through a file on his desk. He then leaned back in his chair. arranged his fingers into a pyramid onto his paunch and began to speak. "As you no doubt know, my client, Mr. Robertson Owens, was an old friend of your mother's. What you might not have known is that Mr. Owens was very much in love with her. But sadly, she viewed him only as a friend. And lamentably, Mr. Owens did certain actions which might not have in your best interest. He deeply regretted those actions. They had lost him your mother's friendship and any future hope of engaging her affections once she discovered what he had done. How much, Heath, do know about your mother's relationship with Thomas Barkley?"

"I know that she found him hurt, took care of him, fell in love with him and he left her without ever finding out about me."

"I can add to that, Heath. When Mr. Thomas Barkley recovered from most of his injuries he was unaware that he had lost part of his memory. It seems that he had forgotten most of the last ten years of his life, most significantly that he was married with a couple of children. This condition persisted for over a month. During this time he married your mother. Of course when his memory returned, an annulment was arranged on the basis of his mental defect and his existing marriage. Mr. Owens' attorney assisted with the annulment.

Jarrod looked at Bell, "Do you know what you're saying?"

Bell handed Jarrod a folder of papers. "Yes Mr. Barkley, you will see that it is verified by this copy of the annulment record." Jarrod began to rapidly go through the court file.

"To continue, Heath, when it was discovered that you were on the way, you mother asked Mr. Owens to have his attorney inform Mr. Barkley. Instead Mr. Owens told you mother that Mr. Barkley would pay child support but wanted nothing to do with the child. Mr. Owens thought that if she were without illusions that she would turn to him. Your mother refused the support and decided that the man who had known with the memory loss had become a different person. The situation persisted but you mother eventually learned of Mr. Owens' deceit and broke off their friendship."

"When I was ten."

"Yes, In order to recompense for the harm he had done you Mr. Owens made you his heir. The ranch will be your property. Here is a full listing of the estate and a copy of the will." Bell handed another folder to Jarrod. "The estate still has to go through probate but you may manage the ranch as you see fit until that time. Please contact me about any expenses the estate needs to handle. If there is any way I can be of assistance do not hesitate to call on me. Now. gentlemen, I am afraid I must hurry to another appointment."

Bell hastened to the door. Just before leaving, he turned and said, "There is one condition to the will. Mr Owens is buried on the ranch and you cannot disturb the remains there." Bell then rushed from the office.

Riding the evening train back to Stockton, Heath gazed out the window at the passing darkness. Jarrod sitting opposite him was busy going through the two files Bell had handed over and jotting down notes. The silence wasn't broken until the buggy pulled into the drive leading to the house. Heath looked at Jarrod. "I know Nick will be glad of the water but what else do we tell the family? I don't want anyone hurt."

"We tell them the truth. You are family and we love you but the hardest thing about you has been the idea that Father betrayed Mother's trust. And I believe that we are enough alike to prefer Father to have been an unintentional bigamist to a deliberate adulterer."

"I reckon that idea makes me feel better about both of them. Never could see my mother carrying on, especially with someone she knew was married. Or that he lied to her. Mama always said that I had to learn that most folks are just trying to do the best they know how. So they didn't do something bad, they were just trying to do the best they knew how. We should get inside. Nick and I'll have to be up early and check the fences on the new place if we're gonna move cattle onto it."

"That's right, you keep to the here and now and we'll worry about the future a little later." Jarrod clapped Heath on the shoulder and they left the buggy and walked to the house.

Part 4

September 7

Early the following morning Heath and Nick rode over to the Kirkland place. After making a gate in the fence the brothers mounted and began following the fence line with Heath turning to the right and Nick turning to the left. They planned to meet on the other side of this pasture and would repeat the process on each section of the new ranch. After three pastures were checked out, the brothers met by the creek. They sat down and unpacked their sandwiches from their saddlebags. As they lunched they discussed what they had seen of the new property and made plans on repairs and management of this holding. That afternoon they repeated the process in two other pastures.

When they met at the far side of the fifth pasture Nick said, "That's about enough for today. We'll send fencing crews out tomorrow to fix those sections we marked. If we keep checkin ahead of them we should have this place taken care of in a week. Don't want our markers fallin off before they get to 'em. Want to ride back home now?"

"I think I want to check out the house and the barn first. See if any repairs need to be made."

They rode over to the house. The buildings showed signs of being recently repaired. "Guess the buildings were more important to Uncle Robbie than the pasture fencing." From the front porch of the house Heath could see a wrought iron fence not far off. "You think that's where they buried him?"

"Why, don't you go see? I'll water the horses."

After the two horses had a long drink Nick looked over at the little graveyard. He was surprised to see Heath on his knees. He rushed over to the graveyard. There were four headstones there. Robertson Owens, Leah Thompson, Rachel Caulfield and Jacob Caulfield. Heath was tracing the letters carved into the headstone, LEAH THOMPSON. Heath looked up at Nick, "He moved them, he dug them up and moved them. He put her here with him."

Heath put his face down into his hands and began to shake. Nick reached down and drug Heath to his feet. He wrapped his arm around Heath's shoulders and propelled him toward the horses. Somehow he got Heath on Charger and led the two of them back toward the Barkley home.

Epilogue

That evening back in the drawing room.

Victoria, Audra, Jarrod and Nick were sitting in front of the fireplace. Nick was finishing his story about the graveyard.

"So I got him home and put him to bed and finally he got to sleep. I've seen him shot, beaten up, sick, angry, but I ain't never seen him like that. I don't know if he even knows much about what's goin on around him now."

"He's had a lot of shocks to deal with over the last few days, Nick. I'm sure he just needs a little time. I have faith in Heath's good sense. We'll just have to help him find his way," Victoria stated.

"There's something else Mother. With the information about the annulment I believe I can legitimate Heath. And we can't keep that from him," Jarrod added.

Audra bounced in her seat. "And that means that those old gossips will stop talking about Father."

"I agree that if you make things right for Heath you should, Jarrod. Your Father would have wanted it that way. But take your time. I want your case as solid as you can make it. And Audra, nothing Jarrod can do will stop those old gossips. They could tell you how many days after every wedding each first baby in town was born."

"That's all well and good but it doesn't fix what Owens did to this family. He kept Heath from Father. He caused most of the poverty and problems Heath grew up with. He kept our brother away from us. I'd like to dig him up and kick his butt." Nick turned and his face twisted in pain when he realized Heath had wandered into the room while Nick was speaking.

Heath sat on the marble-topped table in front of the fireplace. His head was down and his shoulders were shaking. The rest of the family looked on in concern. Suddenly, Heath's chuckles were audible and he looked up and wiped tears from his eyes. "Don't you think, Nick, there's been enough doggie people up?"

Victoria reached over and took his hand. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not right now but I will be," Heath replied. "I've done some thin kin. I wouldn't have wanted them moved for the world but I'm kinda glad they're close enough to visit now. And my Mama always talked about her family's rose garden. So I'm gonna plant one around the graves. And I think that Hannah will come down to look after Mama and Aunt Rachel. And that way I can look after Hannah. That house will do better with someone li vin in it. Does that make sense?"

"That sounds like a good plan to me, Heath, and we'll help anyway we can." Jarrod reached over and patted Heath on the back.

Silas came into the room to announce supper.

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