Site hosted by Build your free website today!

Glimpse inside my heart

This is no poetry, this is no art.
Its just a glimpse inside my heart.

Right now i am so sad and so
frustrated and a lil scared.
When You came into my life
i willingly agreed to become 
your sub. Not knowing then
that by doing so i would be
sitting here now feeling this way.
i watch lovers everyday,
the way they can be free and open
and yet i am chained by my own
expectations of what You expect 
from me as Your sub. i see the
laffin and jokin and being free to 
love one another without being
constrained by the D/s bond. 
i am so scared of falling in love 
with You because of this and yet
i want nothing more. i may be 
complex to understand i know but 
its because i am so careful of 
having my heart broken. its a very 
precious thing. i want to be first in
Your life, i want You to take me by 
the hand and lead me and yet at
the same time i want to remain who 
i am. The same person that 
attracted Your attention to begin with.
Don't You see that by rushing me 
to change i lose part of me instead
of allowing me to grow into Your sub.
i watch Your bro and her and they 
are so wrapped up in one another.....
i wish i could say that You were 
wrapped up in me but the truth is
i think i bore You coz when we are
together, instead of relaxing and just
enjoying the moment You are always
elsewhere or wanting to be. i have tried
so hard to understand You. to reach
inside of You to that soft spot i know
is there. is it wrong of me to want
what other lovers have? to want to be
loved and to love.? i am so confused
i don't know anymore. Whenever i 
try to express myself it comes out all
wrong. i can deal with people that
are not close to me but not with those
that are close. 

i guess this might be just another page
to you but to me its a glimpse inside my 
heart. Do with it as You wish Sir.

Made by Jen 06.07.2004