1. A few months ago, when Eric spent the Summer at his uncle's house, he had discovered two things. The first was marijuana and he had been smoking it every three hours since that trip. The second was his unique gift of being double-jointed in one of his lower vertebrae. If Eric smoked enough pot and stretched properly he was able to suck his own... 2. Dick was good at Math and really good at Science but he was horrible at Geography. "Gee Dad," Dick would say, "what do I care where a bunch of Krauts live?" His father would briefly glance up from his paper and give him an approving nod. Dick was content with his limited knowledge of Europe until his school hosted a Foreign Exchange Student. By chance, they had detention together and the Austrian blonde heard of Dick's prejudice and kicked him in the... 3. Peter found his only solace in masterbation. His routine began with a gentle rubbing in the shower and ended with a silent fondle on the top bunk above Eric. There were at least two breaks throughout the day where Peter would step into a bathroom stall for a quick release. That's why, when the family got high-speed internet, Peter worked two jobs to buy his high-definition computer moniter. He definitely got his money's worth when his schedule doubled in activity until he developed a severe rash on his... 4. Cock-and-balls had a troubled childhood. His unfortunate name had lent itself to hours of ridicule from the cruel children. They called him names like "Frank" or "Steve-O" because there was nothing really worse than his given name. He tried to take his mother's advice and "ignore them" and "kill them with kindness" but eventually he just plain killed them after a kid called him "Zane." The body count grew and Cock-and-balls' crimes went unsolved until one day when the police discovered a family of four murdered but the son, whose name was Ballsack, was unharmed. |
