cuz what can you change?

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don't dwell in the past muahaha

simplicity until i make somethin up

monday, october 14
so friday was nice and relaxing especially since i fell asleep, saturday was hectic and crazy and fun and guerilla warfare-like with the football and my shoulder hurting from trying to tackle ragano and monica's house with the stupid boys that i hate, and sunday was nice but ended on a sour note again because of the boys that i hate. all i remember was in the end how we talked about change, and how since i've changed my relationships have gone to shit. oh yeah tuck everlasting was good. very much like nosotros,no except without anyway to escape. today i know i'm not gonna feel anything except maybe cold. i've gotten on a good start today but if you wanna know where to catch me from 1 to 2 30 i'll be at the mall. from 3 to 5 i'll be at my grandma's and from 5 to 10 anything goes!

thursday, october 10
so... this week's been hectic. monday and tuesday were good. and i found out harper teachers went on strike which is good and bad. i want my credit dammit! wednesday was deadline and i basically stayed at school from 7 am to 10:30 pm. though i finished at 8. and people. just grrrr. but something i thought was really funny [that i didnt do in my state of i dont know] when i called up to the CAD lab, and kiran answered and he sounded like a girl! oh yeah and i have julie chen call all the way from california! and me steph and jenny fielded that. and we had a crier chitchat with jt money. and i found a new comfortable way of sitting ;) to amy. yeah, i was just really overwhelmed yesterday and today. for today i had to tests/quizzes in C++, A 200 QUESTION EURO TEST THATS TO BE TAKEN IN TWO PARTS, and spanish along with a stupid geo paper and more crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. it was just getting to me. and today, i found out a minute before i took my euro test that it was on chapters 7 through 14 when i thought it was through twelve. well i have to go because part two is callin my name. and needless to say, i've been whiny and bitchy and angry. with little interjections of craziness. sickeningly fun

sunday, october 6
schools been great for a while especially homecoming week. we were the ku-lackers shooooot and we woulda won too. after we all just hung out at ben and jerrys and making the shirts was really fun too. then the royal rally brought surprises and on saturday i went to homecoming. i had a blast! aaaah dunno.. i cant really remember everything but yeah. i visited my grandma again somewhere during that time and this past week was fun too. on monday i SAW the sweetest thing with jenny and steph. on thursday i WATCHED sweet home alabama with steph and anna. we WATCHED the vshow tryouts on thursday and friday and the guys were great! the girls too. on friday we had our u of i trip which was fun aside from the bad weather. i got to hang out with dan and saw kristine, ritzy, suchy, sara lee, gary, and others but i didnt get to see fred :( anyways, i just finished my crap college essay last night the one i'm sending to duke and u of i. i'll have to make up a new one for the other three schools. isaac's back! shooooot. ha! i love ajay.. and adam!

monday, september 23
so is it good that i felt like crap all day, then got stuck at school until six with a crapload of stuff to do, didnt get to eat, failed my first harper diffeq test, and drove home crying? oh that and nobody cares.

sunday, september 22
quick update: kicking ass(es?) at school. homecoming week this week. aag on wednesday. still hating.

today is tuesday, september 10, 2002
no hw, today and yesterday.
big shopping failures today, wow i've lost my touch.
today is tuesday, september 3, 2002
uh this weekend i didnt go to the popfest but i went to mundelein on numerous occasions, mainly because people from school didn't call fast enough. oh dont get me wrong, its entirely my fault. well, sunday dan s was back from the uiuc so i had to hang out with him and monday i had a good old fashioned barbecue with my extended family. so... wheaton ey? asian ey? ... only my cousin will understand. today is the least amount of homework i've had all year by that i mean four days and by that i mean four hours. i had council today and crier is starting up and so is sae tomorrow so i guess everything's getting into full swing. wait. labor day there's no school at harper right?

today is thursday, august 29, 2002
day before school was lamented over pizza cookies and the day of school was lamented over by myself. honestly, i wasnt excited at all. thinking of everything that comes with school. if i could just take like 4 classes i think i'd be ok. but noooooooooooooooooo joan is not like that. nooooooooooooo joan has taken every ap offered except maybe art history and bio. but noooooooooooo joan insists on taking night classes with a senile old man. dirge me baby. so the first day of school was quite craptacular. i start hw right after school and take a break at 7 30 to eat and go to class and get back by 9 30 and then i still have to stay up til 2 to finish. is it just me or is that not normal for a first day. im gonna have to cut down on my clubs this year though i did pick up 7 emergency cards..

wednesday, august 21, 2002
back from the lbc where parties don't stop til eight in da mo'nin? it's good to be back and tiring too. on monday we visited harvard and mit and then drove down to philly. harvard is too cool for me and mit sucks ass. on tuesday we went to upenn and that is where im going. lady willing, i'll get accepted and i'll go to the school of my dreams. it took 8 hours to get to penn because we got lost and then 12 hours to get back home. the whole trip i drove 11 hours. i never want to get into a car again.. WAIT.... i drove today! dizzam. today i went bowling, i had to take the better offer? anyways, then to eric's. then bumming around and then home.
so.... all's fine with the school crowd. now what the hell happened at church? it's not like i've been there mentally or emotionally since april. but don't give me this shit. stop TRYING to drive me away, fuck i'm not going this month. fuckshit leaders think people are "conspiring" against them? LIKE YOU HAVE ANY REAL POWER. who the hell wants to fucking count money anyway? unless it's yours. yeah some real power. i'm just going to leave the group, you can't even talk to me much less have ANY jurisdiction over me then. fucking leaders DRIVE away people. who gives a shit if i go to hell. it's better down there anyway. i know i don't care. no one cares about your little offside relationships, and no one is talking about them. none of you guys have helped me anyways. when i had questions, everyone just ignored me and let me fall away. now i have no problem openly denying your STUPID faith
08:53 pm

sunday, august 18, 2002
so im in boistoin after 18 straight hours of driving and i drove 5 of them. im never getting on i 90 again. you never know where you might end up. im at the hilton inn of harvard and have two tours tomorrow and am driving 6 hours to philly to get a real philly cheesesteak and maybe drop by upenn on the way. so since im sort of close to new york city, seinfelds abode.. let's close with a little anecdotal humor. you know that nelly song "hot in herre"? is it just me or is that song like a desperate plea from a deranged man.. "hey girl, its gettin hot in herre so take off all your clothes" and then the woman of your dreams gets in front of you and says, "i am getting so hot i wanna take my clothes off". seriously what is that? its like he has his own little fantasy world. and you know those weird laptop keyboards that just muddle up everything you type? dizzam. you know in rural areas when bugs splatter on your windshield? what amazes me are the bugs that manage to splatter their guts all over your side passenger window. a car is going 80 to 90 mph and this suicidal little bugger manages to splatter himself in the time frame of not even a second! DIZZAM!!
09:49 pm EASTERN

saturday, august 17, 2002
GET OUT! [accompanied with a shove] because i'm obviously elaine. and according to caleb, i'm OBVIOUSLY blossom. anyways, i'll be gone til i think wednesday morning. thass alrigh' cuz im still flyyyyy in my new e-class shizzle, i'm just kidding. so uda says this girl jo is like me ey? well, i'll dynamic HER! im dropping by harvard, mit, and upenn. i'll be online a little bit while i'm there so you guys can tell me if you want anything. school starts on monday! oh man, i'm missing precious time with college freshmen. shizzle.
03:03 pm

thursday, august 15, 2002
today i have to run so many errands. wednesday, isaac, ray and john ko came over and we went to vernon hills showplace 8 because we're cheap and then since we were over there anyways.. might as well end up at dan s's right? tuesday was carrie's birthday. i went to visit my grandma, signed up for my harper class, picked up presents, and then headed over to her party. of course there was a cake fight. SCREAMING VIKING!
11:54 am

monday, august 12, 2002
a whopping HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sweet lil moni [go niqua rae, it's yo birthday] and little similar sister, christina. and a word to the wise, always ask your parents in advance if you know of set plans. so today we went to the beach, but niqua couldn't come. i had fun with the forever-in-my-eyes seniors. too bad i'm broke, and i'm a joke, so i couldn't go laser tagging with them. i bet they're still out now. wow, i hate myself. anyways, one of my aunts and uncles came to take the last of the stuff my aunt and grandma left. and i managed to get directions to the apartment complex, though they may have tried to throw me. i hate them. i think they should and could die. he he he. well, i'm going to go visit tomorrow just for my grandma. they can try and stop me.
sunday, i did my thing. go to church, hang out and eat at wendy's and get my orlando bloom fix. then get free food at some restaurant and then crash at dan s's house. so we just played class struggle and the sign game and a tricky numbers game. wow, some people cannot think with both sides of their brains. and then a little mishap occurred.. hmm, how many times have i gone to mundelein now? COUNTLESS. and this time i got LOST on the way back. wow, i think that working with both sides of your brain game threw off my brain's sense of direction from getting to mundelein and getting home from there. much like today, when i accidentally ran into seema's next door neighbor's house.
all i know, is that my stupid brother didn't rsvp to carolyn's birthday so now we can't go tomorrow. SEVEN hours i was gone, and he couldn't do one thing? i'm really getting into songs with a nice beat. i think it helps me get over some rage.
11:31 pm

sunday, august 11, 2002
sooo who's up for twin lakes on wednesday? i know i am! ok, saturday i just got a lot of errands done. i helped steph out with senior pictures and by the way "buddha bless you" or uda bless you cuz its yo birthday go buddha go buddha.. lol, yes.. we had a very politically correct photographer, or ignorant lol. then i went to the mall to shop for a baby's present and then went to get my hair cut. sorry niqua rae.
friday, i picked up steph at 10 to not go shopping for niqua and then to niqua's to not bake cupcake cones. so we just watched head over heels and sugar and spice while we flipped through each and every channel she had. then to steph's grandma's then to surprise picnic. except AMY YELLED OUT MONICA'S NAME! and oh monica, i'm vicious. now you know. later we went to j.lu's house to see her proofs. stupid cat, YOU DID THIS TO ME. i hate angel i hate angel i hate angel ARGH. and i left a present for jessica in her bathroom. it was some dark chocolate; i don't know what you were thinking.. then we called up some people and went to josh's. josh, eric, chris, nhil, and tim were there playing the longest game of chess ever. we moved to nhil's and watched bring it on.
10:35 am

thursday, august 8, 2002
well, i'm back. and i missed everyone. the retreat was.. i don't know what to say. i really loved my small group. i loved the speakers and messages. morally, it was good. i guess it restored me to a less bitter happier person. and i'm not as against organized religion. i really tried to believe it, despite all intellectual and emotional barriers. but, this time i wasn't ready yet. i think i love independence too much. on the brightest of neon sides, the dorms were all awesome. the food was good in my opinion, and i learned to think of how others might be doing and hurting.
well, let's start from monday. we met at church at eight in the morning, and then just left. honestly, i hated the busride there and the busride back. my church members don't help me when it comes to making me want to go to church activities or services. on the way there, i hated them and made up a song to the tune of camptown races entitled "how could anyone love a group, like you like you" and on the way back i made up a song to the tune of look at me, i'm trinity entitled "look at me, i hate you so." but, now that i think of it, i was wrong. i mean, who cares right? just concentrate on myself, if no one else will. and i dont need anyone else to.
i missed everyone SO much! and i heard about all the drama and fred so eloquently states, "seems like the right time for reconciliation within your group." i didn't know so much could happen in four days. and in my family, well.. it's just really quiet right now. and i think i hate my eldest aunt. she lives here, taking in our hospitality.. and then does this crap. i would rip off her face [and my other aunt's face that helped her pull this crap off] if she comes back here. all's not well with the lees.
oh, and thanks michelle. i just decided to change to the css templates too. oh, and tell john doe to go back to get a life and not check your website regularly, racist bastard.. for me.
08:31 pm

sunday,august 4, 2002
well, this layout will have to suffice for now until i get back from the retreat. i will be gone monday through thursday if any of you are wondering.. these colors have to be worked with :\
i really don't remember what i did all week last week. i'm sure i bothered stephernay a lot. oh, thursday we all went to jessica's show and then left to steph's house after. after the bloodthirsty demons ate for free at my house. jenny came over with proofs.
friday, i ran a lot of errands and the ghettomobile is no more. it has the hubcap and my fourth hour study hall is officially a lunch. mm.. yeah i would have gone to church but a certain.. wait i think THREE bruhoho's prevented me from going.
saturday, i lounged.. got a lot of headaches and then went to danimal and sanghyupah's house. i missed them :)
today was crap and i really cant stand the three bruhoho's and i don't know if i'll be able to take a busride with them. WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS.
08:01 pm

oh schnapps, i'm gonna miss all my "secular" friends this week.. and to chris pogi, justin deiny lil one who's now a long golden-haired wench, tozog, and eric.. NO i'm not trying to avoid you guys. but i wont be able to hang out. ever. after i come back, there's monica's birthday, and the beach party!!!!! oh dizzam. oh, and dave dimsum kim is not one of the three bruhoho's anymore. the other two better 'fess up too. and since i have to get to church by eight, i bid thee good night.
10:15 pm

i'm on a roll at updating today. another thought just popped and once you pop you can't stop. i was looking for enders game at the library but it wasnt there. i was looking for catch 22 and it wasnt there. i was looking for the dragon reborn but it wasnt there. HEY LIBRARY NAZI BRUHAHA, WHY ARENT THEY THERE? just kidding. i don't want to sleep. i want to be happy. why cant people just leave me be? if you don't give a damn just leave me be. i hate it when people act like they are convicted by something the sniveling little snits and then stare you down like their weakminded selves wasn't on the ground crying and whining about there lives. i wash my hands of them. i wash my hands of tears shed for me. i wash my hands of blood shed for me. i'm done with it after this.
10:21 pm

tuesday.july.30.2002
today class, student council. then sarah nolan's house because she leaves again very soon.
yesterday i decorated for vbs.
sunday i hung out with my cousin, my second cousin from cali and my other cousins and kayla and jane. to manny's and then to cnc. on saturday i missed my other cousins from california. the ones who are going to get married [not to each other] soon. dizzam
posted at 06:49 p.m.
saturday.july.26.2002
so thursday was something that i can't really put my finger on. i think i went to christinas. well, we got some trampolining, so that drive was worth it.
yesterday i went with cait, melinda, and mark to the metro to go see the lawrence arms. wow ten grand was sick. and i don't mean it in the nice california way. they sucked. but the arrivals, small brown bike were ok. all in all it would have been more enjoyable had i not worn my flipflops. next time.. i'll be up ten feet in the air and i don't mean the balcony. if i was a city kid, all i'd need would be a cta card and a bike.
oh, and i was not evicted cait..
today i went to some seminar thing in the morning and ate lunch with him, jay, and jonathong. and i got picked up by jess, steph, and niqua. going to go watch minority report.
posted at 06:49 p.m.
wednesday.july.24.2002
sunday, i got to hang out with the oh so elusive melissa kim. only the most agile of the school girls can catch her. and then i stayed around church.
monday i went to christinas with hopes of rock climbing and pools.
tuesday and today i just ran a LOT of errands because today i was supposed to go downtown.. but yeah.. and then frisbee.. well, that didn't turn out well. and i watched street theatre and i'm eternally sorry to a one jessica lu.
people don't realize that though someone may not wear their heart on their sleeve, that does not mean they are not going through anything. shit, i'm sorry i don't go around spewing stuff about myself.. i can't even play the fucking pity card.
posted at 10:22 p.m.saturday.july.20.2002
so, sorry jess.
today i'm going to play tennis and then to ravinia.
friday i woke up and picked up lilly, dropped by foster bank, went out to eat and shop and then we watched amelie. very very cute. and then i went to church.
christina is now officially a womanly man and ko is a woman. KO: i'm stripping down my car tomorrow. I need to get my bobbly head. it's there all alone...
thursday i went to class, came home and fell asleep and then picked up monica to go to street theatre again and then saw sarah nolan and went over to her house to help her pack for mexico.
wednesday was class, then the picnic with a lot of fun people and volleyball, frisbee and blindman's bluff. then to jess's street theatre and then lilly came over.
tuesday i had class, then council and then homecoming dress shopping with the altered dress people meaning little asian girls.
so my quest to become indispensable has begun. and right now i'm rejoicing over finally getting my ap scores and poring over my senior proofs. come and get me!
posted at 11:46 a.m.
monday.july.15.2002
so, i haven't been online for about three days. my inbox overflows with 90 emails, yet only one of them from any of my friends. does that tell me something?
today, i went to class and caught up and then i went to student council. and ap tests have not come back yet.
yesterday, i went to great america with a lot of people and turned dark. am i dark? does a horse BREATHE? yes, well it took a while to get there. i skipped class because the night before my remote thing for the car ran out of battery power and my stupid car has some high tech alarm system so i can't just use my key. so.. the thing was i was at my friend's house in palatine so i had to leave it there. we pushed it into a parking spot and i headed home. so the morning of goodmorning america? i visited 12 stores to find the certain battery i needed. needless to say, it was at the last one. thanks oana. i'm sure mark's neighbors hate me now. so by then, class was already over so i went to make my rounds and we eventually got to great america to meet up. waste of my time and money. and patience. but, hojoon did win me a big bear from the basketball game. thanks! we went to christina's after, and bickered for a bit and got home.
sunday all i remember is the graduation service and tara came for pat. so everyone should teehee them. then we went to marks and unfortunately new hotness lost to old and busted.
saturday, i don't really remember anything besides chasing around helium filled balloons in cars. oh whoops i remember now. we went to linda's house and then watched a beautiful mind and got a lot of food. free food.
my goal is to become indispensable.
posted at 12:53 p.m.
saturday.july.13.2002
today all i know is i'm going to church to practice singing for the graduation service.
yesterday i picked up monica and we went to go visit amy and walked around town square and looked at the exotic fish and extremely ugly gerbils and birds. some of them show all they got, if you show your predators your insides they're GONNA want to eat you. then we met amy on break and left to visit rupal and costas at work. rupal is a new jamba juice employee and costas still works at galyans. then we went to the mall to meet jenny and crew but we had to leave because i had to go to church.
thursday night i visited my cousin because she's sad. and then went to get MORE free slurpees.
i need to watch life is beautiful again. i need to remind myself how great life really is, though i tend to fall into not depression per se, but more like bouts of cynicism. i hate it when people send mixed signals.
posted at 12:53 p.m.

thursday.july.11.2002
today after class michelle said, free slurpees! and all complied to that request.. and 39 cent cheeseburgers. jaclyn, brode, and amy mueller came. now i'm going again.. to take my monster brother.
yesterday class, then frisbee, then lounging and later pizza cookies at lou malnati's. and now sarah's gone AGAIN.
posted at 04:22 p.m.
tuesday.july.09.2002
today i went to class and then went immediately to mundelein to go swim at the beach.. except it was way too overcast to swim outside. why do i tell you this? i tell you because of people like little susy in the corner, jessica, and monica who pine to know where i am.. and most of all, for the child in each and every one of us.. trying to sound heroic. but yes, picked up dan j, went to dan s's and joe's and then people came and left and we moved over to christina's house. it's rather large and comes equipped with essential tools for any young korean girl. a karaoke machine to belt out tunes, an ice shaver for paht bing soo, a trampoline, a HUGE backyard to sun in and a deck, and a garden that grows junk food. i left around 6 pm and took sharon ahn home [so now i know my way around vernon hills too] and then went home to pick up steph and head over to jenny v's birthday party. genevieve, as i like to call her. we had fun eating food and seeing the working stiffs that i never get to play with anymore. i miss them. and now i got wind of the water fight picnic coming up next week! i'm so excited and i'm excited to actually be able to catch the frisbee game instead of the junk after tomorrow. we ate, drank, laughed, and cried.. and watched a walk to remember. and some guy i don't know ruined it for me. today, a success. tomorrow? remains to be seen.
yesterday i went to class and took a test.. yes, sorry excuse for a college math course. if we don't get to stoke's theorem and the divergence theorem and all that, the course will be taken for naught. if we don't get there, i'm going to demand a full refund. i can't really remember what i did yesterday except at night i took my grandma to the emergency room because she scraped off the skin on her big toe and had a bruised left foot. she managed to hide it from us for an hour before we saw blood trails. Explicit, i know. so we fixed her..................... Fixed her good.
posted at 09:34 p.m.
sunday.july.07.2002
today i went to church and am now well on my way to go to j-gen, a retreat for chicagoland korean-american christians.. to learn? or "try to act hard or girly enough to hook up with some pansy." i really hate that factor. and i don't want to go that much besides the fact that i want to go for the up and coming freshmen in college. i want to see them as much as i can before they leave. and today i got to mooch free food at yu's with a lot of people. test tomorrow.
saturday i helped lilly in the morning and then went bowling later with justin and eric. then i went miniature golfing at brunswick place with dan and all them. then i went to monica's to watch spy game but ended up watching sex and the city with her and jlu. jess took me home and yes, as the proverb says.. he who picks a quarrel unleashes a torrent? or something along the lines of that.. actually i think i mess that up a lot. i just have a mild concussion right now and my legs are gimpy.
friday i did end up going swimming with all them but brendan didn't let me in for free. i think i'll try on julianne's shift. i don't know people kept on showing up at the pool and in the end around fifteen people ended up at my house gorging on pizza. i sent them on their way and went to jenny's briefly.
posted at 09:34 p.m.
friday.july.05.2002
today is my cousin lilly's birthday. i'm going to take her out to eat at baja fresh and then we're going swimming, i think with dan s., joe, and mia.. if that all works out. i get to drop her off at glen ellyn for a party and i'm planning on heading to jenny's kegger
this year's fourth of july was perfect. and our family has a history of messing up american holidays. it started off slow, watching next friday and shallow hal and burning cds but then we went downtown. we ate dinner at a japanese restaurant by navy pier. oh the mad irony. and the cute guy. on the way home i was taking pictures and i popped into the restaurant again and just snapped a photo of him. what the? and then we went to navy pier and walked around for a bit. then lilly and i got everyone in our family to cough up some money for us and we rode the wave swinger. i felt like a kid again and frankly, i liked it. it is all so simple now. it was really fun and we were on right as the sun was setting and the sky was beautiful and the skyline was all lit up and i felt like this was what life is all about. riding the wave swinger time after time until you puke. and then we walked around and ate dippin dots and ice cream and looked at the cool stands [i did not gank though i really wanted a heart shaped rose quartz] when the fireworks started. the navy pier fireworks are the greatest in the area. on the way home we could see all these community fireworks and we were like, boo-urns. they had smiley face fireworks, planets, hearts, and all these interesting shapes and it seemed, no was! perfect. lilly and i both wanted to be with someone [though i have a new philosophy, and i'll get to that later] to share the perfect day. i took a lot of pictures of the fireworks. for no reason at all. i mean, what else was i going to waste it on? my friends? i see them all the time! and my cousins, my brother, and i decided that next year we would drive to maybe purdue and on the way back bring back firecrackers. that would bring my list of illegal activities to three. at home we went to blockbuster and rented rebel without a cause, mariachi, and life as a house. and we sympathized the guy who was working because yes.. he was beautiful. on the inside? and we sort of consoled him. the last one was because of amy. and hayden christensen. we watched rebel without a cause first and lilly who so adamantly demanded that we see it fell asleep halfway through. no matter because i enjoyed life as a house more. the movie in conjunction with the carefree live-it-up day resulted in me changing in some way. i have to decide if it's superficial or not. oh, and in conjunction with the everybody loves raymond episode where they're in italy and it's not funny at all but it's sort of uplifting. i'm going to live on a whim. just do things that make me happiest, no matter how embarrassingly juvenile they may be. such as immaturely taking pictures of many hot guys on navy pier. and running away when they shouted. we went to sleep around 4 am and not i'm awake at 10! well, 10:58.
wednesday, i did very little besides class, senior pictures, and pick up my brother from summer school. i miss the kids. but i've changed, i'd be afraid that if i worked there this year i'd probably accidentally swear in front of them or something. i miss it so much! and a lot of the kids recognize me and i really want to help out. then i went home and lounged, because i hadn't really drawn out my new philosophy and then my aunt and uncle came over and told me that kayla and jungeun my cousin was working over at baskin robbins so i took fred to go get free ice cream. we went back to his house and i realized how my life was obsolete without mandark, johnny bravo, mojojojo, and all those characters meaning cable. i headed home early and then my dad called us at home. he bought a taxicab to just drive around on the side and it had run out of gas or broken down or something out in palatine by schoenbach. so my mom and i took a gas can and filled it up at the gas station and sat through gas fumes to go find him. yes immense headache. he got home fine. us, on the other hand.. just kidding.
so i'm going to roll outside in my backyard because i have a whim.
posted at 10:58 p.m.
tuesday.july.02.2002
yesterday we went bowling.
today i went to the mall.
tomorrow i'm going to halterman's.
i want to take a step back and become a recluse for a little bit
posted at 08:27 p.m.
wednesday.june.26.2002
she didn't even stop to skip a beat. and by that i mean that i am updating two consecutive days. well, i have a good reason. there's a hot guy in my class now! and me and oana have plans but mostly me because she has a boyfriend. he's tall, shaggy brown hair, deep brown eyes, chiseled face.. just wow. yes, i'm going to date a bookworm. and gonna be a freshman at umich for engineering. well anyways, today was class and i seem to be seeing a lot of that green integra. and i wasn't going to frisbee today but that was a good choice because no one was. then i went to monica's and we all went to the mall after the schaumburg barrington plaza. lots of opportunities to gank, none taken. while we were there i accidentally made eye contact with this woman at a make up cart and she said, YOU! what are you doing? and i said, eating. and she said, let me do your eyes. and i pointed at monica and said HER. and then another woman came and said, let me do your eyes. and i pointed at amy and said, SHE needs make up. but steph pushed me to her so yeah, i look like a clown. like that invention homer simpson made. the make-up gun. we ate at jimmy johns and sean madigan works at sbarros! we visited jenny and saw sara lee and lots of others. later
posted at 10:37 p.m.
tuesday.june.25.2002
so i decided to tell my parents my score and they automatically yell RETAKE. i decided i want to be one of those enlightened ones that read for pleasure. so i went to the library [and amy! i think i saw bearded dan! is he bearded?] [oh, and let's get together!! [slapslap]] and rented.. whoa borrowed, wow this bookie lingo is just out there. henry james's the portrait of a lady and joseph conrad's nostromo. i'm getting to it. oh, my crazy cousin lilly got grounded for sunbathing NAKED. wow, so out there. literally. and i went grocery shopping today. i dropped a glass bottle filled with cheese dip. way to go wonderfuck! yeah and my brother wouldn't just let it go. and i have senior pictures soon. oh yeah. HEY ERIC, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you're out of school. Nice job Playing NOPLAY. so how's life NOPLAY? oh, and they're real. and they're spectacular. i'm going to KILL THIS LAYOUT. KILL IT! tomorrow is frisbee day and i'm going to discuss the lincoln park zoo with bergo. i assume it'll be awesome. note to self, FRISBEE means shorts and no heels.
posted at 10:51 p.m.
yesterday i got my craptacular sat scores back. fucking goatshits. dammit! i want a 1520! at least.. because it's in the proverbial 1500's. and then it's also slightly ABOVE the threshold. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH i don't want to take them again and it's not like i have time for a prep course. ok i have time but i'm not taking that shit.
today i'm finishing my take home part of the math test because HARPER MATH IS A JOKE. HARPER MATH IS A JOKE. i repeat! and yesterday i also fixed jonathan's site sort of. into pure html at least but he's immature so i'm not going to try to make his site all cool and webdesign-y.
posted at 02:20 p.m.
monday.june.24.2002
saturday i watched panic room with jenny, stephernay, monica, and neal-VAN. it was good. got slurpees. i didn't know elk grove makes out!
sunday i hung out with andy, kyungsoo, phil, jonathan and isaac. we watched ice age. went out to eat. drove around in my car. got a pretty good deal. i got a movie, meal, and gas out of letting someone drive my car. or ride in my car.
today was class. first test, diagnosis: easy.
posted at 05:05 p.m.
saturday.june.22.2002
thursday i went to class and then it was free popcorn chicken day so i took steph and our brothers out to kfc and then later steph suggested that we go take a long walk inside the mall. we plus monica and amy left to the mall and gorged on mrs. fields nibblers. blasted good donut! we saw angel, cesyl, cherryl, and melissa working and got to take free stuff tahahahaha bow down before me! so now my car got lei'd. in both ways. then we went to streets for a little bit and i saw seacaballera again. she's going to ohio and georgia. then to niqua's for a bit and home ho!
friday i just took my grandma to the hospital to get a check up. then i helped kidnap amy on her birthday and we went to baja fresh. yeah we know she cheated. later to amy's and we watched her webcam videos. to lessons and back ho! and then i went to see lilo and stitch. funniest movie ever. supposedly since i bite, i'm stitch. monica, steph, and i met up jessica josh and fred. i was going to go for a double header watching minority report with andy and kyungsoo but i don't think i would have made it back alive. or awake. so we met up at my house, then to stephs and i made the mistake of calling home. never call. so i had to leave because of my dad. later i get home and my mom says, "why are you home so early?" ALWAYS ONE OF THEM!
posted at 10:00 a.m.
wednesday.june.19.2002
what i hate about summer is that it's a perfect couple season.
yesterday i went to class and then dropped by student council. a lot of slaves, i mean freshmen, were there. and i got to see nhil, the die-hard student councilers, and others.. that jeremy campbell, he's a looker that one. a man of few words. or maybe he's a man of little words haha.. well then nhil, steph, and i tried to pry melissa's locker number plate off for her but that didn't work so we took parting photos of our vomit green lockers. oh and nicolei was there. i took nhil home, and went to eat [free!] food with steph and then headed to fred's for some asian cinema. we watched seven samurai, the dvd we bought him for his birthday and loved every minute of it. funny, i don't think that it was supposed to be a slapstick. i fell in love with the characters and the plot was good too. there was grandaddy, grandmama, doc, flash, young un', happy, deathwish, woody [though i wanted to call him woodchip] and psycho.
today i went to class, went to bergo's park to see if they were playing ultimate frisbee when i saw big people on the playground. figured it to be them so i played blindman's bluff with them. then i had to come home to chauffer my grandma to get her haircut and to the asianmart, oh sorry ritz "international mart" and then just got back. i have to pick up my mom soon. having a car is great if you don't have to be a slave
posted at 03:59 p.m.
monday.june.17.2002
after the initial hang-outage that celebrates the beginning of summer, everything's slowing down and it's getting really boring. people have class [me] and people work. summer's not all that it's cut out to be. i miss julie already, and i'm wondering when we're going to have the water war.bottom line: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
posted at 08:27 p.m.
saturday.june.15.2002
"pardon me while i burst.. into tears" so today was my last social function with julie, and i'm not going to see her again for a very long time.. she's a sweetie, that one.. keep an eye out for her. too bad she's corrupted now lol.. oh, and thanks "stud" for signing my guestbook, dave.. ooh, i forgot a tidbit from yesterday, i turned on weathersfield and who do i see? i saw, i gaped, i ALMOST MADE A U-TURN AND STALKED.. and i lost
posted at 11:30 p.m.
thursday the rest of thursday i went to suchy's early to help set up for julie's surprise party and we really did scare her, i think i saw tears? so it was the normal senior girls and guys there including taylor, kevin, jim, and craig anderson. i must admit i don't like the bird and i DID try to give it a heart attack, i'm not gonna lie to you, i'm sorry. and we ate dinner and played basketball, sardines, at meineke, and catch. we stayed pretty late so we made a fire outside and roasted marshmallows and made smores.
friday i dropped off my mom at work and bergo asked me to go to lunch at chowpatti?? so i showed up at her house where we plus mark plus john lancaster plus bonney went to the restaurant. it was fun just expensive. and i had the hydroplaning ride of my life? and i had forgotten about getting my brother lunch so i picked up jimmy johns for him and dropped by some places where people worked. then i went back to the mall and hallmark and target and lots of places to look for a gift for julie and then went to lessons and to church. calm down, you guys will get to see the car soon.. ko, joo and sulu..
today is suchy's party. i don't know what else i'm going to do besides get a cushy twelve dollar an hour job.
posted at 01:21 p.m.
thursday.june.13.2002
the radio plays our favorite song, it's what keeps me holding on.. baby do you miss me? now that i'm gone..
so yesterday i couldn't do anything really cuz i had to make a pickup and a drop off. but yeah, i went to go play ultimate frisbee with bergo but NO ONE WAS THERE! so i dropped by her house but it ended up that they did and i was too late.. damn class. but anyways, today i went to class late because i thought it was friday and i met some guys in the class.. some are kind of cute.. and the class is POINTLESS right now. UGH, and today i was supposed to go luncheon with kara, steph, and monica but it didn't work out and now i'm going to set up for a par-TAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
posted at 01:21 p.m.
tuesday.june.11.2002
yeah yesterday i was a little excited but the rest of the day i just watched videos.. and i finally finished ocean's eleven and spy game.
today i went to class.. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO except oana and they're doing VECTORS. got home, rented harry potter and blackhawkdown.. headed over to monica's where we harassed some people and watched antitrust. then amy and KATIE ABRAHAM came! she lives an enviable life.. all the way in pennsylvania. but yes, we talked and amy had to go to work so me and niqua and steph went to streets. [gag] for jamba juice and chipotle and tried to get free ice cream at baskin robbins except we could have but we were full by then. dropped them off in MY CAR! and with new hopes of ultimate frisbee tomorrow, i think i might make it through another day
posted at 10:43 p.m.
monday.june.10.2002
I GOT THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sure it's not the red one and it's a 99, not a 2000.. and the previous owner took out the cd player, but i'll get a new one! and it's silver! but it's so great!!!! and there's an exhaust so it's all loud! and the decals are painted blue! and the lights are blue! and it's a galant! and i have a car!!!!!
posted at 09:47
saturday so i will be getting that metallic reddish maroon mitsubishi galant 2000.. only 36k miles on it for a decent price 11 thou! and at carmax they tried to push this 95' two-door civic with 70k miles on it for the same price, the nerve. and i've been seeing jenny fowler a lot lately, she was working at costco. and later i went to watch my best friend's wedding with jenny. ok, that movie just crushed my spirits. if julia roberts cant get a guy, what hope is left? IT'S GONE.. HOPE IS GONE! just kidding, but yeah i don't want to live in a world where the "tie goes to the cameron diaz look alike," the tie must go to the more stable baseman! and lookie here, I'M A BASEMAN! the first baseman! ok so that was just a complaint
sunday was one of the best days of this awesome weekend. went to church as normal and i hung out with mia for a little bit and then i got dropped off at dan's party where such favorites as lori, julie, sara, jenny, kevin callaghan, jasmin, pavel, vicki, and others resided. julie is moving sunday!!!!!!!! :******************( but her new house in Irvine, Cali is SOOOOO julie chen. and we had fun with the ddr and the grand theft auto 3. i expected churchies to call but instead i migrated with everyone once kristine got there to forry's party. HE had a trampoline and a swingset! so there, such favorites as tony yoo, jenny fowler, forry, ryan, brendan, steve z., lush, dawson, kara amy, and others [such as eugene kondo.. owow!] played. it was SO much fun, lori flies when we jump on the trampoline. after about two hours we mass-migrated back to reitz's where mary rose joined us and so did steve zlotnicki and alan and john cho. I DIDN'T GET TO READ THE LETTER THAT ALEX BEHRENS SENT TO MRS. LIGMANOWSKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so disappointed. but i had fun because we rehashed the Stats video and watched the old Paco's Tacos video! hahahahahahahahahahahahaha and i'm disappointed in the nets! and i think i hate the lakers.. there was talk of going to village creamery and playing ghost in the graveyard but i don't know if that's true. can't wait til thursday and saturday!!!!!
today started off on a bad note so far. except the poland portugal world cup game. OWOW those portuguese guys are so good and the looks-wise equivalent of some tall, dark, and handsome FREMD soccer boy. after that marvel, i left to finally register at harper.. but the damn admissions office screwed me over. i left my file there WEEKS ago.. maybe three? and they didn't approve me until today which just screwed me over because CLASSES STARTED TODAY. so i couldn't regist until 11.. too bad my CLASS STARTED AT 10! and i missed it today. so i actually wanted the night class on mondays and wednesdays but damn admissions made me wait so long that the class was filled up so i have to take the daily two hour one.. except oana's in it! she's AWESOME! so the registrar screwed me over too! damn damn diggering ding ding ding.. yes, so i'm just seething right now and Crests fall to troughs as we feel our gills open up and sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping our backs.. you know what's sick? going supply shopping in JUNE. why am i doing this to myself?
posted at 01:23 p.m.
saturday.june.08.2002
HIGH SCHOOL'S OVER, HIGH SCHOOL'S OVER.. AND YOU STILL WON'T QUIT..
so friday was great, we went rollerblading at busse woods.. wow, i realized that all my friends are fit monsters and i need to get in shape. then we passed out while watching ocean's eleven and then i had to go to church, joy.. and after church, a bunch of us went to starbucks to stock up on caffeine. i finally got that mocha coconut frap that Monica cheated me out of.. and it was good.. stupid monica's beauty. i woke up early today to go to the hospital with my mom and then to harper to sign up but those unprofessional workers STILL have not gotten me approved yet. the workers are like, "i don't understand why you haven't been approved yet.. you're very qualified.." and i'm just sitting there thinking, "you should all be shot." and now we're going car shopping and i don't know what else is up for today.. i have plenty of time now!
posted at 12:18 p.m.
thursday.june.06.2002
wow so this layout needs to die.
yesterday i took govt and calc, which weren't really counted as real finals. byebye kids! and then later amy, sarah, monica, and i went to go eat at baja fresh over on golf by ocb.. it was good, just bloody expensive.. i should have brought my OWN caprisun! so then we went to sarah's where we just talked for a while.. poor maggie, i want someone to play with you, but I don't want to do it! i think i love my girls.. we left around 6 when we realized the time.. today i took physics which was easy also, and then i headed home cuz ... well cuz.. and that was my first mistake because i didn't get to hang out with them today! and they were with tanya! oh well, i harped at harper ladies because THEY STILL HAVENT APPROVED ME YET.. and then i fell asleep for four hours.. so all in all it was good.. and i watched will and grace for an hour.. i have english and spanish tomorrow.
posted at 09:02 p.m.
tuesday.june.04.2002
lakers won bleh and lots of things but i'm just feeling like a mirror right now and want to reflect. i just don't understand it at all.
well, the basics monday was a regular day blah blah blah and i tried to go to harper again but they're really unprofessional and untrained so they send me to a million different departments. i think they should be shot. and i get to go to hang out with oana and jenny in stats now. and we raced in gym, that's about it. today was the last day of gym, nope not gonna miss it. in math i wander in the caf and in physics we just torment eachother. in lunch we sit with drama nicole and sexy dave and anuj and them.. since i'm joining drama next year.. after today i thought, wow, i have no real finals and decided to go to payal's graduation party. invite from rupa.. and all the favorites were there, julie jc, suchy, jRojas, jennyv, sara, melissa, seema, bonnie, keiko, jennyt, lori, of course rupa and their two cute little siblings.. i'm sure there were more and i can't think of them. and then i made the mistake of calling home and my mom just yelled and yelled which made MY urge to yell RISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i was forced home..
now to the good stuff.. i just really need to evaluate myself and the way i've changed this year. honestly, i look back and i'm pretty ashamed. now that i think about it, i brought everything upon myself. i mean, some things i didn't know about but i could have handled things differently and in a more mature manner. i think there is not only this drive to get ahead in me, but also just a drive to please others thus being entertaining.. actually this website is an example of just that. i've become more apathetic and hateful and i doubt any good actions because i feel that they are all tainted with wrong motives. i've become a perpetually sad person. after discovering all of this, i need to turn myself around. my obsessions must cease. my self-pity must cease. however, i also need to confront some past ghosts and skeletons because i can't let self-doubt rule my life. i've become disillusioned with not only the church, but with the whole concept of God. lately God has just become a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. how do you know for sure? what if you live for something that is a lie? all i know, is i need to change my attitude, and stop doubting the good in others and start realizing that every action is not a direct insult or social comment about me.
posted at 10:02 p.m.
sunday.june.02.2002
so a whirlwind of a tour.. anyone ever just feel like keeling over and worshiping the floor? just for being there? i don't know, it's a comfort thing.. well, i just feel like it now because i'm tired..
saturday i woke up early and got picked up by my cousins, and headed over to elk grove.. nice school except ugly on the outside.. then took the one's you know the one's.. i saw tara joe! and raygay but yeah, much harder than the act's and it's seven parts? why wasn't i told about this? i was up and ready to leave by number four! took steph home.. hijinks.. just kid-DING! and then we went to eat.. and change.. and change.. and change.. then kristin picked us up to go to amy's to wash cars.. apparently six of them. water polo fun ensued and we went to jimmy john's to pick up food and ate at jenny's while harassing rupa and monica. then to monica's after sarah got her cheap thrills by stealing bulk candy. we watched sex and the city, very informative show. i learned a lot? and then ocean's eleven, and then the poms state tapes.. EAT IT ELK GROVE! EAT IT! then home, til 3
today i ran around in the morning very early on to get flowers, cards, the whole bit. then to best buy and the mall and stuff. i couldn't think of what to get people. and then to church with the whole closeminded message again. however, if one is so fanatical about a religion which stresses separation from the "world" or everything that is "worldly", isn't that being closeminded also? meh.. then to graduation with brode.. i got to video record for cheshna! i got some good footage.. ooh baby bend it bend it? pick it pick it? hahahhaa i can't wait to watch it and then pictures pictures some chickening out.. and then we got in at benight's open house party, even the Gman was there. hung out there for a while, a few drop ins.. then i dropped off steph and then longo. after that i was like, i'm in the neighborhood and called fred, then went to his house to watch the game. fun fun, victoria's a nice girl aside from the whole lakers fan thing. then i left because i'm a junior and i have school and i'm watching the rest now.. overtime! what's going on!!!!!!! ooh, gotta jett.. joan jett..
posted at 09:16 p.m.
friday.may.31.2002
"had a bad day again.." fuel
it feels so empty without them.. ah one allusion to eminem is enough. enough is a good movie. brode has my next years schedule and second, third and seventh were sad. i mourn the great loss. especially stats since i'm the ONLY person there now. ugh, my math class is me, akasakaluv, brandel, and sachin.. not exactly the most "fun" meaning talkative bunch... UGH! i got to go off campus today... SHHHHHHH.. don't tell on me. with kara amy and lulu and nhil. not as great as i imagined it to be. after school, a bunch of us went to jimmy john's to eat and went to amy's park to eat it. went home and went back to the mall to apply to gap kids and other openings. i went to borders and barnes and bed bath & beyond too. they liked me.. and payal works there. FUN! then home and then to voice. this one jackass on a bike was passing by and i stopped at the stop sign.. then he proceeds to spit on my goddamn windshield.. i almost ran him over i was gonna fucking kill that punk. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JACKASS! now i'm off to church lol, i hate it. harvest is at the retreat.. meh.. good riddance. sat's tomorrow at 8
posted at 07:06 p.m.
thursday.may.30.2002
will you remember me?? i will remember you.. so sad so sad..
last day for seniors and they're rejoicing.. softball led to dislocated fingers so steph's dad said and in govt we ended up taking lots of pictures and i'm going to miss them so much!!!!!! and in math, stand and deliver and hangman.. god i'm going to miss them. and then physics the bridge contest.. bosslet's bridge named "piece of crap" one.. eric the marnul aryan wasn't there to witness it though.. he was "sick" by that i mean non quotations. got let out early lots and lots of pictures. i'm gonna miss julie, melissa, sara, mary rose, bonnie, dan, payal, WASEROO, boy, alan, jon, gaby, BEKNIGHT!, cheshna, zeenah, brendan, rick, samad, dave, quinn, calash, joe, jimmy dean, miller, suchy, kristine, kathy, john cho, jimi mac, ROJAS, jenny v, shashin, vickinpavel, ray sampson.. and much much more and why'd i list them? now i'm even sadder..
visited all the seniors, now i'm the only person in stats. made lots of videos with camcorders, lots of fun and pictures in spanish.. all in all, very an "endearing" which is totally the wrong word but you understand my feeling.. day and yet sad.
today my cousin was gonna take me to harper but then i called and they said i had to test into the course. whatdafrick, i forgot it now! just kidding. but if vicki zhao didn't have to do it, i'm not taking any asswipe assessment! later i just picked up steph and grody is making me wait on secrets
by the way, Michelle Kiang rocks like Cleveland and i don't know what i did to deserve a "joan lee is hot" line but we all know michelle is a hot girl.. you can't deny it you're a [] riot.. oh, and things are looking up for joan lee?
posted at 10:27 p.m.
wednesday.may.29.2002
so i'm just sitting around downloading sublime and vanessa carleton and a little our lady peace? contemplating why stupid smart kids care so much about others' grades or scores or whatnot. grisanzio was right. ap kids are damn cheaters. and way too competitive.
you know that song "she's perfect" by jimmy eat world? substitute he for she and there's boy! and tomorrow is his last day.. ".. living in your precious memory"
so today... i just need to remember to go to school by 6 30 am. to hang up senior stars. and there was a student council meeting first hour meh.. sad? only to the die hard counciler nerds! yes, that's right! NERDS, hear that grody? just kidding! and then lcap presentations in govt and more stand and deliver with a little hot picture interlude here and there.. and in physics building straw bridge action! lovin it! lovin it! except steph won't let me do ANYTHING. she's like you play with those paperclips now.. and there are two jackasses in our class. so they can talk shit about me the next table over but if i say shit to their face i'm a bitch? i'm going to fricking !&%_!&%&()!&_*$&(!@^$&*(^&%*(^!*() THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T MAKE NHS SECRETARY, BITCH! NO ONE LIKES YOU! and the other guy just takes offense even though i wasn't insulting him or his aaliyah shrine. just an observational statement god.
more of a civil action in stats.. today was senior picnic and i heard lots of people came back to visit. can't wait til i'm an alumni! and then a motivational assembly eighth hour? too bad it's pretty ineffective. everyone walks in with their own decisions made already. whoever wants to drink, will drink. whoever doesn't want to, won't. so you there with the bulging vein in your neck, CHILL! and i sat right in view of boy. damn prom. i want to go..
so GOD I'M SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted at 08:22 p.m.
tuesday.may.28.2002
four hours and one elegant? traipse through the woods? later.. i am feeling prodigionous.. i also must say that i'm enjoying the mole:2. it's very entertaining. and today my saviour from boredom was definitely andrew brode and i applaud him for his quick wits, and his even quicker car. thine deeds has set thee free.
posted at 9:32 p.m.
nice relaxing day.. i got to watch october sky, stand and deliver, and a civil action.
i played the worst softball game of my life.. it went downhill when we didn't have enough outfielders and i had to pitch. whoa.. nuff said. the ab kids are watching stand and deliver with us.. do you know what that means??? obviously you don't but i'll be seeing someone very important to me two periods in a row. payal had this great idea. she gave me a page to a photo album and asked me to put my picture on it and decorate it in anyway that i could and give it back to her. that's a great idea that i will steal next year. or maybe this year.
he hates me, he hates me not, he hates me..
well, in order to rescure my bitter day, i had some sweetness at the end of it.. i kicked some testwriter's ass! YEAH! i opened a can of WHUP- PAH! on him.. dang you! dang you! you will die! ok but i decided that for me, life can only be bitter. which means that today, which was bittersweet will be the best life ever gets. sure the sweet was a little dominant over the bitterness today, but that doesn't matter. bitter is still there. even just a trace of it.
posted at 05:08 p.m.
monday.may.27.2002
just a quickie, i swear.
yesterday, i went to church, went out to eat with some kids.. especially mia :) and then ended up going to bc's with everyone. psh, barrington boy.. so it ended up that maybe 20 kids? maybe even more? all headed over there because his parents were out of town at niagara falls but he forgot to leave the garage door unlocked and so locked himself out of the house. so the next half an hour was devoted to breaking into one of his windows. he must feel really safe about his house now.. wahahaha. so the usual, playstation, watched office space, stuff going on downstairs, whatever i don't even know what happened wherever.. we watched some digital camera videos from hangouts past and they were hilarious. so a certain cowman decides to im me which is ironic because at home, all my sounds are set on moo so it was annoying. the rest of the night was devoted to guitar playing and crashing on the bed. phil took us home and i think andy and jonathan slept over there.
today i woke up late again, headed over to lilly's and had a productive day shopping at oakbrook. got another pair of warmup pants, if the girl even thinks about taking these i'll kick her arse. then jungeun came over and we just pored over glenbard south's yearbook.. man, soccer guys everywhere are hot, not just fremd. mmmmmmmmm... forbidden donuts. i mean, mmmmmmm... forbidden beatniks. and now frantically updating and trying to get to sleep
posted at 10:01 p.m.
saturday.may.25.2002
so today was a waste of a day so i'm just sitting here eating godiva chocolate cheesecake ice cream while listening to devotion's you're not alone because i can. but hey, every great night ends this way. i wish schaumburg was a city of recluses so that staying home alone on a saturday night is more acceptable.. WAIT! IT IS A CITY OF RECLUSES..
ok maybe not but it sure feels like it.. my heart, it's beating with hers damn boy bands, even the filipino ones are just as bad
well, chris and beth have mono. it's official. sorry to all? i just assume chris has it because beth does and yes i'm very glad i didn't let him take a taste of my kiwi tapioca smoothie. so today consisted of little else than hanging out with chris during the day and hanging out with indecisive church kids who wanted to call "the hot girl" obviously meaning monica.
i woke up really late and lounged til about 3:30 when i called chris and we talked. yes, the motley crue split up and went our separate ways since spring break. however, it seems like everyone split up in pairs and such except for me. where's MY pair? huh? where's MY partner?? ok, then chris picked me up to go to coffeehaus where i saw david and robin. and now i hear that ko was at geto? wow, what a ghetto man. when yao ming gets here he's in trouble.
then later we drove around strip malls to find jobs at dollar stores, hallmarks, and such stores. then we visited kayla because she promises free ice cream and when we refused she pouted. then i went home around 5 and i was tormented online by the church kids as i tried to coerce them to come down here to watch october sky with me. i was planning on spending a nice quiet evening and they showed up and later dave calls with offers of bowling. and not lake zurich bowling, hoffman estates bowling so how could we refuse? oh wait. we did refuse. until he called us shady so we went to beat him. and he was there with people i care not for except john yun. sweetest guy in the whole world. the others didn't get that we didn't want to talk to them and that their presence deterred any fellowship whatsoever. but we just hung out in the parking lot because they're all bums and have no money and weren't really planning on bowling at all. i was returned home and then i had nothing to do so..
wow, all my friends left me. i vaguely remember promises of fun and not leaving me behind here and there. and it's worse now that i definitely won't be able to get my hands on a car.
posted at 11:43 p.m.
aphorism of the day: it's all and then it's nothing to me. [yeah, that's right.. you'll never know if it's everything to me, or nothing to me]
friday.may.24.2002
today: seniors had graduation practice, failed to procure tickets. gifted reunion and doc's farewell. absolutely nothing in govt and calc in fact, donald duck.. AGAIN! blasted donald. overrated goose. in physics, a little bit of october sky and rockets. poetry in english. this is the first year i've actually understood poetry. i enjoy it so much. we were reading this poem and i almost cried but i'm just a baby.
Heart! we will forget him!

You and I- Tonight!
You will forget the warmth he gave-
And I will forget the light!

Dawn's promising skies
Petals on a pool- drifting;
Imagine these in one pair of eyes
Strange spice from the south
Honey thru the comb- sifting
Imagine these on one eager mouth.
All that can stir,
All that can stun,
All that's for the heart's lifting;
Imagine these in one perfect one.
And this is my beloved.
And this is my beloved from Kismet
stats, i enjoyed the greatest presentation ever by matt mayernick, shaun bhatia, and justin cheng it had all sorts of stuff like the statistician woman, an ese, alex behrens.. the elements of a classic?
spanish test meh. and lots of hallway fun. voice today. church later, meh.
yesterday: we had the crier dinner and evil plans were not enacted. at la magdalena i gorged myself and gained 10 pounds. we had classic crier fun outside waiting for the honors convocation kids. we finished typing the senior issue. during the day, me quinn payal and waseroo won the calc treasure hunt! all hail the yeller's. yellows i mean. yes.. well, it was quite the momentous occasion. state tennis [ooh lala] rained on our parade so we watched the greatest movie: october sky, must finish! must finish! alan chen and ritzbitz had the greatest presentation in stats yesterday. they did this study on how asians treat asians compared to how they treat whites. most racist thing i've ever seen in my life. until today.
two days ago [wednesday]: my mom got into a car accident, rest in peace old bmw. steve schlewitt will miss thee dearly. and so will i? she's ok. later my dad and i went to quill and scroll. where sjs [sara, joan, steph LEES] convened. and there was john cho, and the rest. syed said really nice things [insincere sounding though] and we got tassels and stolen flowers. the guys looked nice all dressed up. and then syed talked about how she could tell me and steph apart. by our natures. steph is supposedly the "sweet, quiet, gentle one" while i'm the "fierce, vicious, passionate one"? is that right? shows how much you know. i'm only passionate about two things. getting 10 hours of sleep on a nightly basis, and him.
posted at 7:28 p.m.
aphorism of the day: The Soul selects her own Society. [too bad i select so few]
tuesday.may.21.2002
today... today... yeah, applied to harper, think we're winning the calc treasure hunt, damn ticker tape lab in physics, damn having to bring all 5 books to english just to get them checked, damn having no fun people in stats, praise be to amy for fun at the mall, praise be to the student council banquet especially nicole greene and the parks, and the armbrusts, and especially grody brody. yeah, haven't been writing much. only what happened just so that i can remember.
just one thing comes to mind, i shouldn't think anymore. thinking only leads to discouragement, and not pain in my case, just incredible incredible anger. well, maybe it's misplaced anger in order to not have pain? i'm so confused, i just get really angry at everything and everyone. damn brain.
posted at 9:56 p.m.
aphorism of the day: Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped
monday.may.20.2002
so much rage pent up in such a tiny body
posted at 7:17 p.m.

joan's rant of the day: yeah, i hate righteous kids. govt video, took mom's keys, math treasure hunt w/ smart kids, springs, thespian initiates, death death and more death, stupid ingrate friends, stupid ingrate slut locker, stupid stats kids, wingdings, airforce, stupid spanish, hate hate hate, stupid crier, stupid seniors with bad handwriting, stupid happy notes, stupid little cliques, stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid boy.
sunday.may.19.2002
so yesterday i spent all day sick and now i've decided to post a picture of my mangled hologram, soon anyways. when i'm not too lazy.
today i went to church at 11, not 9 like i usually do. and it felt good. wicked good. i'm like a leper at church now. everyone's probably like "back, away from me, lest your ungodliness rub off on my being"
i have decided that i love mia and angie the most. they know what's up. spent a long time talking to mia today and it helped to clarify things that have been going on.
rules to live by:
1. never presume to know enough about anyone to judge them, for only the shallow truly know themselves.
2. if people hurt you by assuming to know certain aspects of your life, forgive them for you chose to leave them in the dark.
3. if you become angry with someone, instead of turning your back on them, confront them. if you turn your back, it will become all the more easier for them to turn their backs on you and the friendship is shot.
i left church soon after talking to mia, dearest of all freshmen girls :) then i was bored so fred and i decided to go watch Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. yes, we have established that that is the worst title ever. the movie itself had its merits like the yoda fight scene. i wont say any more because i do tend to ruin movies for my fellow companions. but i found a new pastime, critiquing movies with fred. the acting by natalie portman and hayden christiansen wasn't quite up to par, but the older actors were pretty good. my advice: less talk, more action. the romance scenes that they just stuck in there were a little dreary, seeing as the characters didn't seem capable of a real romance but hey, let a girl dream!
besides being extradited from the company of the righteous, today was very enjoyable. thanks fred :)
posted at 9:10 p.m.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: hey teavee, have fun with the righteous
new layout saturday.may.18.2002
today i had nothing to do because i am sick. i think maybe i'll make a new background with soul caliber's kilik on it because just look at the polygons on that character..
yesterday my physics hologram didn't turn out and i am needless to say quite disappointed. mine is the sorriest looking one in the whole school. after school i went to lessons, then back to church to fulfill my weekly dose of hell. i was supposed to go to monca's to relax but they came home from the orchesis show too late for my parent's tastes and i ended up being stuck at home. however, i had some nice conversations with ritzy bitzy [spurring him to make a website] and ewic [meaning fred].
now i'm just waiting for nightfall so i can overdose on nyquil.
posted at 8:12 p.m.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: this took a long time. hoj, i just watched the playoffs today and i found it utterly a bore
thursday, may 16th
no more tests, no more pain, no more fear, no more no more shame.
so, life after ap's.. can be characterized as absolutely refreshing and revitalizing and no commitments at all. i could get used to this. so yesterday, i picked up stuff from ae, gapkids [maybe josh... maybe], barnes and noble and jess from frost works there, and borders... maybe me steph and j.lu will turn that place into a hoopla! cuz that would be great.
i demand bequeathments to me!!!!!!!!!!!! i know sara lee is bequeathing me her ability to cope...
with lack of sleep!!!though i wish it was someone else
ok so today.. started off with me applying to harper for summer school. goddannit! i've taken summer school every single year since i started high school. fricking! yeah.. well so that's how my summer will be spent. working at one of those locations along with classes at harper.. and maybe an occasional road trip with the girls to wisconsin dells? or starved rock?? yeah, GUESS WHAT JUNIOR GIRLS! the SENIOR GIRLS WANT TO CAMP TOO! how about we join them?? i want to see JC [the ocd girl] freak out after 4 minutes.
ok back to story of life. as so eloquently put. i went back to gym for the first time in what seems like forever. i had to take id pics in my gym clothes, no matter though. it'll be unique.
how do you catch a unique rabbit?
unique [you [s]neak] up on it
i love softball and my team. i missed them, even arrogant cesar. crazy sanjay took both the micro econ test and the comparative govt test. WHY IN BLOODY HLL WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF? ok no matter
govt took the assessment, chem kids were gone. made fun of chicken.
math was so great today. we do nothing in that class except just watch fob joe park and greek joe calash interact in song. in a round. [bergo thinks i'm like khlav kalash, i am indignant at that remark, just kid-DING!] and dave just hits me and sara hard, and quinn just laughs and we try to make jim talk in italiano, and we make fun of prom dates.
joe: it's all about the r and b
sara: do you like britney? i have to admit i enjoy britney
khlav kalash: how about we INTEGRATE [the area underneath the curve for you juniors] underneath her...
then in physics i was in a dark dark cave of bloody. while we did lasers and holograms. it was pitch black and i don't enjoy people around when it's dark. so we got some talking and stupid touching EW done. and got our holograms, we're developing them [in the bloody dark again] tomorrow.
after an hour in pitch black kulak flips the light on with NO warning
class: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
then WE HAD THE RAPPING SUB IN ENGLISH TODAY!!!!!!!!!! he rapped for us! first he asked us what was wrong with rap [violence, swears, and drugs]
then he points to eric and asks him, "if you're at a party, and theres drugs and booze around what do you do?
eric: Smoke them.
hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, i love the marnul. gotta love the marnul. and then the sub did his crazy screaming math rap. that just made my day.
then in stats, we don't do anything besides go online but today we were checking on the conant site which colleges seniors are going to. while we were in the middle of checking, someone ims us. funny, we didn't know that we were online. turns out that john lancaster had left his screenname on last hour. stupid interesting times happened. hear he's pretty angry. actually it just went like this
kid: what's up?
us: i'm in stats
kid: wtf is stats?
us: the class, and the teacher just saw what you wrote. she wants you down to 105
kid: wtf wtf wtf wtf
me: click! [signs off]
shashin: NO!!!!!! stay on!
click gets on
says more, i didn't pay attention. turns out he was in CAD and knew that someone was on his screenname. so the bergo says
we just tormented the gaby chafin gaby. meaning taylor. then in spanish.. it's less fun than normal because now in all my ap classes we do jackblood. and just get to talk and stuff so.. eh.
now i'm off to play on a rainy day
jc[juliechen]: dude, i should be a doctor. YUM, CADAVERS! [slurp slurp slurp] i'll have a snack at each operation/dissection. [slurp, while crossing her eyes?]
reflection time: even jenny advises me to give up. and i assume they like each other now. but i'm the tragic hero. by an inherent flaw in my character, i will destroy myself inevitably. now it just a matter of which flaw it is. life just kicks me in the blood sometimes. in the blood. i only wanted this one time, it's quite rare when i even begin to like someone seriously [unless they're a fag, if they're a fag it seems to me that i'm always drawn to the stupid wrong ones, except in this case] wow, everyone is bitter about love and life. all the bitter people should just give it up, and then go out with each other.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: you think i'm going to turn into a "club hussy"? down with hussies!
wednesday, may 15th
ah. sweet release is upon us. i was going insane after all those tests and not updating.. release.. release...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sprite: grrr? hey a kaiser has to do what a kaiser has to do
SMOCK567: lol u know what i do w/kaisers????
sprite: bow down to them?
SMOCK567: I EAT THEM!!!
sprite: muahahaha, do you know what kaisers do to those who eat them?
sprite: DIGEST THEM FROM THE INSIDE OUT!
SMOCK567: they come out the other end!
SMOCK567: WHAT? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
sprite: it does if you think about it
SMOCK567: riiiiiggggghhhhhttt..
SMOCK567: CHEWIE!
SMOCK567: GRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!
so sunday: the rest of the day involved our extended family, Yu's [saw michelle, but she was predisposed?????], and not a whole lot of studying for macro.. but God smiled upon us and decided to be fair for a while
monday: guess what? the macro test was so fricking easy it wasn't even funny.. steph is kicking herself in the head right now.. i think. and it ended so fast it ended before third hour! wow i enjoyed that... i was like filling it out.. i know that! i know that too! and someone didn't chicken out! even though he usually chickens out, or i assume. idiota!!!!!!!!! lol idiote savante!
but yeah i had lots of fun in english when EDU fricking volunteered me to read for the glass menagerie but it turned out that it was more fun than expected. i got to be the crazy southern belle who tells her daughter to wear "GAY DECEIVERS" and tell her that her chest is flat.. wow... and then i got to talk ghetto in a southern accent. and then bergo and megan lee minced around and sashayed for us. WHAT!
later that day, i got steph and we went to drop off fred's present at his house. this was the plan. i'd wear the cabana shirt and have the principal CRUX! meaning the happy birthday bead in the pocket and then steph would wear the pseudo-flip shirt and then we were to ring his doorbell and then he'd come out look at us and give us a weird look. and then we'd silently walk in and sit down in front of his tv and then hand him his happy birthday bead and then open the giftwrapped dvd and put it into his dvd player. but it was ALL WRONG... ALL WRONG! turns out we just missed him as he went job shopping even though i imed him earlier during third hour that i was going to drop by... but he probably didn't see. yeah, i had like two and 1 quarter free hours on monday.. it was so great it was sick. me and jenny went to the crier office where i went on aim and then spammed michelle's tagboard with pomegranates.
tuesday: tuesday was the physics test and i got called out of first again and i provided the whole study hall with amusement as i dropped lucky charms and then i got two free periods again! and went stalking. and the math assessment was so fricking easy.. it's like which of these infinite series diverges? and then they have the harmonic series right there in front of our eyes. i was like IDIOTA! idiote savante!
and then later that day, i met my doom on the physics ap test. actually it wasn't that bad. what's done is done and is done and is done. and i think if everyone else thought it was really hard, then that gives me a better chance. but i'd feel bad for saying that so what's said is said is said. and then semro gave me bosslet, and monca a ride home. the weirdest thing is all through the test, my mind would be talking to me.. and that's not that unusual but it was talking in a scottish accent like Wee Willy the Groundskeeper.. it was saying things like, "Wee Wee little one, rootin tootin that thar' formula's the one.. it's the one!" and i was sitting in my chair laughing the whole day.. wow. and monca gave me evil looks. then i got home and went to the library to visit amy! :) and to study for government. hey guys, it's just WRONG to try to fit twohundred years of u.s. government into your head within a 4 hour time period. wow. my head is still reeling. but later jenny and shaila and sachmo showed up i was like whoa we're nerds. and i saw david shin! i haven't seen him in so long! yeah so i bothered many. rupal, val, and bonnie were there too. i got home and went online and then i studied til eleven. ah. a good night's work.
today: today was the government ap test and by golly it was the worst yet and now i've been released from the pressures of school all at once. it was torture, writing four essays in 100 minutes. my hand still hurts and so does my head? but yeah, i wrote number one, then crossed the whole thing out, rewrote number one, then wrote number two, crossed number two out, rewrote number two... and then finished all four right as the time ended. so whew. and jason chickened out of the test AGAIN. ok, so later, i didn't realize it but it was fourth hour and i made the mistake of dropping by the physics room... BIG MISTAKE. i was taken hostage my mr. kulak. and so was jenny and nirav and sachmo. but HEY! WE HAVE GENERAL PHYSICS! WE STOLE HIM TODAY! AND THIS SHOWS THE SUPERIORITY IN WILES AND WIT OF THE KULACKERS OVER THE KEENANITES AND EVEN KEENAN HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN WITH GENERAL PHYSICS! BUT WHERE'S PRIVATE DA-MASS?????????? i don't know but yes it was a spur of the moment thing. the window was open, and we seized the opportunity. we're doing a holograph project COOL BEANS! and then went to lunch and did all that jazz until eighth hour. i went to student council's general assembly meeting. so congrats to jenny and steph for being homecoming chairs and BOO to Grody Brody. and you know what? i'm GLAD i was mean on your guestbook. and i'm glad i told you how to arrange your entries. and i'm SAD that you keep trying to hold my hand. and tim ozog will not have a tribute because he tries to hold my hand. but today me him and barchfeld tormented my brother and his friends... i'd like to think we tormented them... but that's a question that will have to be saved for another time. another time. i'm going job shopping now. any suggestions?
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: omg! i haven't updated in so long! but i'm still not speaking to you.
sunday, may 12th
so today is mother's day. happy happy.. i'll be celebrating at yu's? and then working. wow.
yesterday i had a crappy night's sleep even though it was twelve hours and then i woke up late and tried to get jenny to let us come over to study.. we got there around 4 pm and then monica came and we ended up not getting anything done. monica was so much fun when she was slap-happy. jenny had cookies for us. then at 6 we went to go pick up ashley wassanaar and drop by BTO. it wasn't that fun at first because we don't normally go do things like that and we didn't know anyone else besides like karen, heather, lauren, ann, and jenn. oh you know what was fun? when i colored lauren's hair with highlighter. but she got angry and i said Jenn made me do it because she did. so that was a highlight. this is preposterous but the name testostertones was taken so they called themselves 5-second rule. they did some fun covers and then kingston minds took the stage. we had a crazy schaumburg stalker girl that kept coming over to us and talking to us. i think she was attracted to Monica. and then when we finally decided to go stand over there, i got pushed up to the front and it was really loud i still can't hear. so since we weren't having as much fun as we would like, we left at the last song and headed to starbucks. it was raining really hard so what's the most logical thing to do? opening an umbrella inside the car. that's the most logical thing to do. so i did.
so, we all bought stuff and the guy sees that monica isn't buying anything and asks her what she wants and that he'll just make it for her. and while he was so blinded by monica's beauty, he messed up my order but i was like eh, i'm not monica. so i took it like a normie. wow, she is perfect, in guys' eyes. oh, and mine too? :)
we headed over to monica's and just talked for a long time. it's fun to just talk. i had more fun then than anywhere else. you learn a lot about people.

"She grew cold and callused until there was a vacant spot in the place where emotions used to tug at the heartstrings."
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: psh. i'm not speaking to you any more, not giving me a ride home and all....
friday, may 10th
so, i think everyone knows who boy is now. except for jenny. before i actually cared about people not knowing, but now if she asks me, i'd tell her. now i'm gonna sit back and wait.
so a half-day. poor poor us history and euro history kids. sorry kids! hope you guys did well. i had free periods every single hour. in gym, we got to just stay in the caf. in govt we got to go to the international fair, in math we got to just sit around, in physics sat around. lunch and english, internationalfair. in stats, donald duck. in spanish, crazy gypsy love movie.
so, i want to cheer jenny up. JENNY! You ALWAYS pull through! you're the SMARTEST PERSON I KNOW. NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE BOOK SMARTS. YOU HAVE STREET SMARTS! I DONT KNOW HOW YOU DO IT BUT YOURE OUT THERE YET UP THERE!
so Who is going to BTO for the kingston minds, testostertones concert tomorrow night? thanks Heather Hartman for the heads up. if anyone wants to go get in touch with either me, moniqua raerae, or jenny or stephanie???????????????
so i'm excited about that. yes today i made up many many songs. or variations of songs.
he's got your number IN his disposal. watch it go down the drain as he TEARS IT APART!
so this week is when it all winds down. physics, macro and govt all three in a row.
Godspeed to all. Godspeed.
on the bright side, i have three flyers for anyone who needs to rent a tux. one from gentlemen's quarters from dave, and two from john atch. from desmond's. holler? if you want one, i mean.
so crier applications for editor spots are available. holler? lol.
i just got a letter from school saying that i'm being inducted to the quill and scroll society!
sweeeeeeeet as phh. today in govt, blankety blank asks jason if she could write an article about cliques like rachel's for the senior issue. we almost burst out laughing.
so yeah adnan, what do you have to say to that? doesn't like me my...
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: i'm going to see you today whether i want to or not! don't worry i want to? varsity blues eh?
thursday, may 9th
so today was a fun day, i woke up really really really really really really early because i needed to take that blasted physics assessment but hey! 23/35! i think that calls for celebration so this is why i'm really really really really tired and worn out.
i finished quick and then went to gym when JESSICA SACRIFICED ME FOR SLEEP! i leave my pants in her locker now so that people won't goink them from me but that means when she's not there i'm SCREWED! once she was even AT SCHOOL, just with josh and his stupid backpack stuck in a locker. wow, i'm so high on her foe list! and she's so low on mine. we ran the mile today in gym class and i was late for it because no one was doing rentals me and two other slackers were running up and down the shelf, the north gym, the regular gym, outside just to find the class but it turned out that they were in the team room putting on heart monitors.. blasted things. so i ran and got a bad mile time this year HEY! what does she think that after no running or any physical activity for about a couple months we'll be able to just pick up a 7 minute mile?!
then later i took justin's advice and talked to him! i'm so proud of myself, except not. because i USED to talk to him all the time it was just my fault i made it awkward. i hate myself. so i ganked pins from a jewelry store that say "#1 NANA" "#1 LOVE" and "BEST SWEETHEART" and they ALL go to boy. especially the "#1 NANA" pin. and i'm going to give the nana one to him tomorrow. if i have the courage?!
oh, today in math i figured out that i have the five in the bag! and in stats too! and so does pretty much everyone in our class! i love our schedule for the next couple of weeks. we get a treasure hunt, Donal Duck in Mathemagic Land, another movie, and "Stand and Deliver" all because of that one line "Kal-KOO-Lus? what's Kal-KOO-Lus?!" and then the final is a group final since the seniors dont have to take it. and then later i took physics assessment part 2 and rocked it i hope.
No secret messages today. i found these crush books i want them! to rank him! yesterday i hid from kulacker in the caf!
in stats we watched the videos! I WANT TO FILM A STATS VIDEO! Jim Dolbeare will be the statistician woman?! he says he wants to be.
more crazy gypsy love movie in spanish. I THOUGHT THEY WERE TALKING GYPSY TALK NOT SPANISH! but i was proved wrong. i was in the line of fire between sampson and mahoma and fernando... REARS! and NO ONE MISSED BBQ
ok here's a line from the movie: "what do men want? only a warm nest to put their little birds in" WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? and all that caressing? "CARMELO, CARESS ME!" "NO, I LOVE CANDELA NOT YOU.... OK! ROWR!" and then two seconds later "I LOVE ONLY YOU CANDELA!" the girl is less than pleasant to look at but please and the analyzing of her own body! that's just too over the edge and we can't even look at Candela any more.. COMPRATE una Brassiera! and don't go en la LLUVIA! what the frick! and at every twist and turn they're flamenco-ing.. it's like WHOO! up go the arms again... there goes the SNAPPING and the CLAPPING! and the crazy gypsy way of standing with you butt back, stomach out, rolling in my cadillac!
so i got home and right away i went to pick up steph and go to Best Buy to run errands and then the alarm went off i was like good thing i didn't take that [disposable] camera! and then steph just came over and we contemplated flip flops. I DESPISE ERIC FOR NOT GETTING THe RED FLIP FLOPS EARLIER! THE RED FLIP FLOPS MAN! me her and j.lu went to the mall to find them! you were supposed to get them but now i bought them! and i bought a DingleCROCer tank top for five bucks at aero. where there aren't any cameras or tags. dinglehopper looks like a crocodile hunter so thats why i bought it!
then we headed to american eagle and found PINS! PINS! and PATCHES! PATCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they contain such as "ae" "goddess" "tough chick" "who loves ya!" "drama queen" and "just another knockout" so that was much fun. then we ganked presents for BOYS at Libby Liu and proceeded to test every single tester at Bath and Body Works until we got tired of it. Wow, there were so many memorable moments today... except i can't remember them without notes on life and Jessica's quotes on her page are the RETARDED QUOTES! they're not even funny! except the shane karl one.. i mean the quotes with me in them aren't funny... like todays... HOW IS THAT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!! jessica lu you're number 10 A!
then to subway, and then HOME JEEVES! HO!
HALF DAY TOMORROW! and international fair, AND DONALD DUCK IN STATS! that's the good thing about having two math classes. two donald ducks.
HEY! fred's coming home! and guess what? steph's awesome because she burned the awesome cd for me! except her evilness cancels it out so now i hate her.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: i swear i'll change you potential police officer you. i can never divulge anything to you anymore.
wednesday, may 8th
just a quickie for today cuz i have two physics assessments tomorrow. so i got here early to read the glass menagerie and then i walked around the spanish hallways to see which shirkers chickened out of the spanish test.. i caught a lot! just kid-DING!
then sh...... i ditched! ok, so i got called out of gym to hang out with mommyca in the caf and lo and behold who do i see? nhil, adnan, AND ragano ditching their respective classes inside the library. so they studied for the physics assessment that i missed today [seems that twas all for naught because they all seemed to have failed it] and i distracted them? then we headed back to the caf where we stared down mommyca's stalker. yeah, mommyca's hot so that means we need to protect her more. heather hartman hallo! shummy, and dhruv, lynn are all in that study hall!
then in govt i found out about other shirkers and we went over stuff.. SCORE! i get sara lee's ap physics and govt books from last year! YEAH!
there was almost no one in math and we just went over ap test stuff and i think i got a five!
mrs. o dell [also known as HO! during the ap test]: you guys, close your eyes, breathe in 1,2. out 1,2,3,4. now picture the FIVE in your head..
i just burst out laughing so hard, but anyways i got to have two free periods during fourth and fifth.
i hung with Mary Rose! and i learned more of boy's schedule. 1,2,4,5,6, and then some? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes i'm a stalker
then we took the stats exam and it was surprisingly easy. RITZY BITZY is the greatest man in the world. figuratively speaking..
so he sits behind alan... and collects an ap number sticker from every person in the room... and proceeds to stick them on alan's back during the whole test! and alan took NO NOTICE WHATSOEVER... ahh the trivial things that appease me.... and what'd ironic is we were in the multi-purpose room with a lot of mirrors around the whole room.
and we got snacks from flahaven! what's with this?! this dashes my theory of mean math teachers! both sullivan and flahaven provided food!
so we ended around 4:30 and i got a ride home from julianne... nice girl. just misunderstood?
however, EVERYONE is misunderstood. supposedly... except the two fags. 'nuff said. so now i'll be sitting here attractively bored doing my physics for the assessment and then leaving on a jetplane!
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: wear the navy shirt, blast it! you remind me of a girl, that i once knew..
tuesday, may 7th
OW, mi cabeza fue fritada por el examen de calculus.
let's continue yesterday. i was bored so i went and picked up stephernay and then we surprised justin and picked him up. HEY JUSTIN! i got into your complex because i made a carbon copy of your key one day just for that purpose. and then we all headed out to go thrift shopping in the ghetto hp sector. so... steph says that she was scared? and yeah justin pointed while i was driving... that was a big mistake.
justin: look! [finger points left]
me: what?! turn left now?
justin: NO!
me: ok. [takes a left]
so THAT was a waste of my time. and we could have gotten there by taking wise but chris decided to be an UN-pogi which means du-mas. alexander du-mas. and told us to go on plum grove STUPID! so we found interesting stuffs including an aldrin class of 98' shirt.
the things people will................... "DONATE" dude, i'm hopeless
and then we dropped justin off and we were headed to the mall when we saw steve tak's car in her driveway so she went in for a sec and i waited outside so we could go quick and be back but then she waves me in and this is the conversation that occurred.
steph's dad: HEY! how come you didn't come in on your own? if you can't come freely, you're hiding something.. i don't want that stupid BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! you're insulting me! BEEP BEEP BEEP
and then later... steph's dad: hey do you have a boyfriend?
me: sigh. no
steph's dad: what? are all four of you lesbians or something? [meaning eve, stacey, steph, and me]
so yeah then we went out intending to go to the mall but somehow ended up at caribou where we saw sarah nolan, and katie russell AND! a keanu reeves look-alike [by that i mean a fred look-alike] so he was hot. look at my list of hot fremd soccer beatle boys man...
then we went back and i "studied" for math as much as i could in such a weird household. so steve called cfc a cult, and i just laughed... wow, so the college kids will be back soon. can't wait???????
today was the bc test and the pick-and-pray section was SO EASY! it got my hopes up and then the free response came.. HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS AND WHERE THE SUN DON' AIN'T NE'ER DONE GON' SHINE. i sat in front of joe khlav kalash. which was fun. so, the free response was SO much harder than all of the ones we'd been practicing but my logic goes like this. i attend conant. conant has one of the "best" bc prep programs? thus, if we found it hard, the nation will fail giving us a huge curve and all fives.
we got snacks and everything! it was so great!
so hot! want to touch the hiney! ok i'm not crazy... that was billy madison
i actually stayed the rest of the day and was sadly disappointed? besides lunch... ooh la la. oooh boy. then julie chen and i got crazy in stats? wow and in spanish we watched hot crazy gypsy woman love. or so i assume? i was trying to pay attention but i was having fun applying service charges to mahoma and talking to punkcait.
and now i leave you with this: I HAVE STATS TOMORROW! 1 DOWN AND 4 TO GO! AFTER TOMORROW ONLY 3 TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey REAR! you need to make ASSUMPTIONS even though it makes a REAR out of U and ME. and CRAZY CRAZY FOUR LANGUAGE. and LOTS AND LOTS OF T'S AND Z'S AND ASSUMPTIONS! MUST MUST MUST MATCH THE PAIRS! AND OBSERVE THE ANECDOTAL BIASES!!!!!!!! DUDE, CHI-SQUARE IS NOT PRONOUNCED CHI! IT'S KY!
so i assume i'm gonna go real shopping today. it's fun this thing. not caring.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: so... my head hurted and i thought of calc BC, and then i thought of BC, then i thought of you?
monday, may 6th
JOHN CUSACK IS HOT!
ok so the rest of saturday goes like this: chika chika goes like dis! chika chika.
so ho joon and chung and john ko picked me up and we headed over to chung's house which smells like REAR! because he smells and sweats a lot! and his room was dirty. we looked on the internet for pictures of that chinese basketball player Yao Ming because ko looks like him a lot except he's only 6'1'' while my man Yao is 7'5''. we tried to get free stuff all day by saying that we're with Yao.
then we headed over to the danjer's house and out to eat at ihop. i must say, i hate guys. what am i chopped heart? i use heart instead of liver because it works with my current state so nicely. they're just sitting there, and i guess i should be happy because i'm a guy to them? ok sure. dave showed up, only because he didn't want to watch isaac and janet making out or so he says.
ISAAC IS BANNED FROM THE GROUP! HE DITCHED US FOR JANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he may never come out with us again
then we headed over to showplace in vernon hills to see spiderman and we sat in front of some fags. oh yeah, and fag-ETTES. i should have known those girls were going to be annoying when all she did in the beginning was yell at this guy in a muscle shirt you know the like, "WOOT WOOT! TAKE IT OFF! I HAVE MONEY!" and the guys behind us sounded like grabski and wouldn't stop talking!!!!!!! so many moons and words and head fondlings later, john ko took a stand for soft-spoken mike teavee [by that i mean ho joon because he looks like Mike Teavee from Willy Wonka, only remember when he got shrunk and was stretched out? like that, and you know how he wore cowboy costumes? picture him in a navy suit]
so, i'm finished with hidden messages NOT! you fag! stop looking!
star wars tickets are already onsale. moment of the day that day was when the lakeview guys were introducing themselves and it goes... hey, nice to meet you hojoon, whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa SKIP JOAN, nice to meet you john.. it's like WHAT THE FRICK IS THIS?! STUPID TRADITIONAL KOREANS! what so now he's gonna say, "END WOMEN'S SUFFRAGING?!" just cause i'm a girl? THEY'RE NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST! i'll LIST YOU!
sunday was stupid murder a bunch of cows day. actually it was a fundraising day at fuddruckers and they made an rearload of money off of our church stupid kids. we had a mass flight to fuddruckers in order to kill as many sacred cows as possible but i didn't eat them. julie, tana's sister came with us and i hadn't seen her since she moved far out to lake in the hills with alex park? [shaking head... alex park...] [dave's cousin...shaking head] ho joon showed up in his little navy suit. i never noticed how many kids drive at cult. everyone has a car, stupid sophomores. and pat pak and duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh-ROBIN! was there with his new sentra se-R? i don't know what that means. i'm not gonna lie to you. and even superfob kayla came. i wanted to make up for lost time by thriftying on sunday with ultimate barrington boy BC, but instead we headed over to best buy. then koffeehaus, i would like to work there. later i went to melissa's house to watch serendipity.
i could have met you in a sandbox
i could have passed you on the sidewalk
could i have missed my chance
and watched you walk away.
so, all about fate. i just thought how much fate hates me.
kismet can just kiss my.......
today, school can just kiss my.....
it was crap. i made things awkward and now i don't talk with him at all. why the frick did i make it awkward? it was FINE as is! GOD!
and then everyone was just being annoying when i was in a bad mood
i'm not angry at you justin! i'm just angry at the world! STUPID WORLD can just kiss my......
and now i'm waiting for godot, meaning the car so i can go shopping.. i think i have the calc ap test tomorrow. eh, i'll just brush up on some stuff. or cheat. just kid-DING!
YU-LERS? what the frick is that?! YAX-M all the way babies! all the way! pump it up now! do the work problems! and the riemansums! rising up! remind me to bring 58 bucks. wow. i'm gonna be in huge debt to my parents.
all chung and hojoon did was make fun of my music and called me trailer trash. GO BACK TO THE GHETTO HOJ, AND CHUNG! GO BACK TO THE GHETTO! and remember, hojoon, if my music said "HO!" all the time too, you'd like it.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: what?! you liked my saturday entry?! i'm gonna strike that from the record. hey mike teavee, stop watching tv and i'm gonna take your height because your posture negates it. i thought you were sam!
saturday, may 4th
so.. i was supposed to do something? but that fell through so i'm updating. wow today was a real UP then DOWN then UP and then another DOWN. i assume it will end on a down note because it never fails to amaze me that it always ends on a down note.
so today, it started off on a good note because i felt good.
wait this just in... i'm back to an up note because of sweet sweet lil hojoon and kool joe yun by that i mean dave, and stupid chung because i always win. we're gonna watch spiderman in lake zurich. sexulent.
ok so back to my story it started off on a good note because i felt good in the morning.
then the down note came with my ap calc bc practice exam. i landed comfortably in the 5 zone so i'm hopeful but i chickened out today. i CHICKENED OUT! BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the frick! i was going to casually ask someone to watch something while i was temporarily insane. and then i didn't even say hi!!!! stupid AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i made relations more awkward by not even saying HI! stupid STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!! and then i wanted to ask for a ride but i couldn't make eye contact!!!!! i hate myself. but dawn suchy is awesome. and so is OCD julie chen and ghetto hp hispanic woman Jessica Rojas. love them. and justin deinlein says he's going to coach me in self-confidence.
then the up note came when i thought i was going to go thrift shopping with justin and chris. but i'm gonna go by myself soon in order to get fred's blue or not blue cabana shirt. because it's hot and so he needs one. he's coming home in one week! the other guys can stay.. lol dave. and then he offered to get me a u of i t shirt so i was like..
COOL!i'm going to pay him back though because his bday was a while ago
GOD! and i was just a little stupid back then and overly sensitive and overly interpretive?
WOWso i was a bch and i wish i could take it back. so happy bday
so then i was let down in the form of chris bernardo and justin deinlein. i assume they ditched me for kiran but i don't care because i know it's chicks before dicks and bros before hos. and then glostikguru made crass comments my way. DOWN WITH THE GLOSTIKGURU! i hate you! about the sense of touch and boobs and organisms. the thing that irks me though is JUSTIN YOU DIDNT EVEN CALL TO SAY YOURE NOT TAKING ME! but it's ok cuz you're my coach that i perpetually hate.
up in the hot tub, poppin bubbly. spot love, PUN ish me! don't stop get it get it!
so yeah after that my brother and my cousin came back from spiderman in order to make me sadder
then later, hojoon called saying that relief is coming in the form of lake zurich! which is by mundelein! steph, monica, and jenny's boyfriends will tell them hi i assume.
so best wishes to the girls who will be watching "GET SMART" and i hope that they will get smart.
so, today is shot because i was planning on studying for ap's but guess what! I DONT CARE ANYMORE! IM DONE FOR STATS AND BC! only physics to worry about because govt and macro suck.
dont stop get it get it! the version by incubus is funny. and great. and justin doesn't believe that there is an incubus version. he just said, quote" THE HORROR THE HORROR" justin hates any and all ghettoness. and he said something mean about jessica lu and i'm not going to say because i dont remember. AND I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING WITH SAID BOY TODAY! I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SUCH AN AWKWARD AWKWARD AWKWARD STALKER GIRL. hey guess what? you know that song by blondie? the stalker one? i'm gonna gitcha gitcha gitcha gitcha! drive by your house lol... all prospective men should be scared.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: you are my savior! saving me from a boring day.
friday, may 3rd
softball in gym and i enjoy my team.. zulu, tim jackowiak [it's all about the half-a$ed cheering with the whining sound... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO], falbo, and crazy arrogant cesar. so.. when i went up to bat they all moved in and then i hit it past them to centerfield.. i swear. too bad they fielded it and got arrogant cesar out at third on the third out! jerkfaces
crier went out with a sizzle.. not a bam.. it was a pretty bad issue compared to the last one. oh well? there's always next year.. i can always use that excuse except in the case of boy
so punkcait found my 83 that i need for stats. love ya bergo! and i must join political club next year because they miss school for all kinds of things and quite often.. AND HOW.. from now on i'm going to include secret messages in white on this site.. see how many you can find
JERKFACES! you guys are all fags.. TAKE THAT! ok there was one in this row
in fzzb, we hatched a plan to kidnap General Physics. it's our junior class prank and we must.. NAY WILL! get him and prove ourselves worthy over the keenanites using WILES and WIT and not BRAWN. we have a plan lambda, and a plan gamma that i formulated. and we will replace the General Physics painting with a Private Da-mass painting of Kulak in a dunce hat. wow fun times.
plan lambda: so our two key men are ragano [code name 6120] and steph's squirrel hair [code name DIE]. so our first key man will get kulak's attention and Question Question Question.. Next men, our guys Melissa Bosslet and Nirav will FLANK him from the right side and again presenting Questions Questions and Questions. then our second key man DIE comes into play.. she will be flipping her squirrel hair from side to side until it dies. kulak will be mesmerized. during that time span men, our four infiltrators, adnan nhil carlos and big bill will steal away with the General saying BYE KULAK and replacing it with Private Da-mass.
if that doesn't work, plan gamma: all 20 of us will BARGE INTO CLASS. the little ones form a semi circle around the four infiltrators and punch kulak once he comes too near. there's also something about me, a bottle of perfume, and Kulak's eyes. then we'll all move together like the blackhawks and get out of there storing General Physics inside the place where they would never look.. the SCIENCE office.
we MUST gain victory.. it's a tradition to kidnap him. and it's a tradition that keenanites do it. however we noble kulackers will put an end to that
nhil asked moniqua rae to prom today.. quote: DANG IT i forgot what he said. but it had song and dance or so i imagined
spanish was awesome but i forget what i said that made people laugh.. oh yeah, i'm pathetic, my whole life revolves around who laughs just KIDDING!
i got home, and JUST now realized that the cougar track classic is today and i wanted to watch but i can't cuz of WHAT? CULT!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it with a passion. what would they do if i just didn't show up one day. NO ONE WOULD CARE. LEAVE ME BE. and i wanted to go shopping for ru-paul's present and prom dresses. GAWRSH you fricking gaylord fockers.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: spiderman is way too nerdy to be a fremd soccer boy... however, he could very well be a fremd basketball boy.. or a rolling ghettoes one

so! i just wanted to have a mini-update because something irked me. today my kaiser showed a video.. obviously wanting to instill fear in our little religious bodies.. unfortunately, the movie turned out to be entertaining.. i can't respect the professed christians in our church right now because they mock and laugh at the truth that they claim to have faith in. either the religion is off and that's why it breeds hypocrisy, or the people are off. honestly, i wish it was the former because then i wouldn't worry about living my life the way i want to. all these beliefs that have been instilled in me since i was a child are sort of getting to me and it's a part of me. i'm trying to reject that part now but it's resulting in a lot of internal conflict. if the latter is true, HEY! i knew it all along.. cult people are hypocrites! wow, i should make this stuff all white right now so stupid people won't know what i think about them.
thursday, may 2nd
how sad.. i didn't update for so long. and so many funny things happened. pity.
news flash: so i covered mr. cougar contest, so i got to talk to hot quidditch! and hot boy? just kidding! and hot jon? yeah i did.. muahaha
so this week was crier deadline week wow it sucked..
tuesday: zulu made her way to the coveted number 1 A! spot on my foe list by saying things like, "so.. i'm gonna take your pants again" and i assume it WAS her. we played in gym.. all j.lu remembers is me ducking but all i remember is me tackling tim jackowiak and when he passed it back to falbo, i tackled him. ok, maybe two hand touched. but she doesn't remember that.. HO! govt, bc: practice multiple choice test, fzzb nada besides trying to get the smart kids ie. jenny and monica to look at me, english i have no clue, stats no clue, spanish no clue but i'm sure i patented a quote from amalia.. hold up.. senor says, i'm just talking to my shirt.. HALLOO shirt.. HALLOW! wait, now i'm talking to the walls.. HALLOO walls! HALLOO!
so many great things happened but because of stupid crier layout i couldn't update so i forgot everything. tuesday all i remember is at crier we had no cups so we were drinking coke out of DOG BOWLS! i left at 10:30 that day. jim dolbeare tried to touch me and that was disturbing but i'm looking forward to his column cuz it's witty. JENNY YOU LACK WIT!!!!!!!!!!! just kid-DING! and then i spammed and flooded michelle's tagboard which was fun. j.lu and jenn vance stopped by. i got home and just collapsed and fell asleep.
wednesday: so it was deadline day. grand total time! i think it was 1:30 am. when i got home.. and i know nhil and jenny and dev were there til 3:30 am. so.. if i EVER EVER EVER! see a crier on the ground i'm gonna JACK SOMEBODY IN THE...
FACE boy offered rides both days and i rejected in order to stay true to my crappy friends.
so i wrote my first pseudo-sports article. but it bore bad news. the gymnastics team champions lost to elk grove by ONE POINT! at sectionals [they can't go to state now] i felt sad as i wrote. and then half-finished i gave it to nhil cuz mary rose just ran over here to take us home from hell. so i actually finished my stuff at 6 pm. so why stay the extra 7 hours? if you have a co-editor you have to STAY UNTIL THEY LEAVE STUPID RULE! and after steph finished around 11:30 pm? i had to stay cuz of nhil's article. he had 7 ppl working on sports articles and was STILL the last one out! and i feel bad for him because today[thursday] he looked so tired. so at 6 we took pix of drama kids and cheshna took me to baskin robbins for free cone day where my cousin was working. i bought some ice cream for the crier kids cuz it's the last issue but they didn't eat it because everyone concentrated on finishing. all i remember is listening to jimmy eat world's sweetness OVER AND OVER AGAIN. it's great and it was a different version! it's sweet. and Dev wanted to "listen to that barenaked ladies song" but he thought that weezer's island in the sun was it but i was like uh no. and then he thought that other song.. you know i forget what it's called.. song was it.. but it was NOT barenaked ladies. i just pestered steph all day online. jason thai: i REFUSE to talk to you aamir this way. i made a haiku.
profiles editors
mu shu, shu mu, i hate you
they are real big fags.
so i'm gonna be THE! GIRL! on the in depth page! sweet. i'm the one in the picture but you guys aren't supposed to know. rachel spied on ppl for her article. how fun! i want her page next year. or sean's so i can do thumbs up and thumbs down. or jason's so i can talk to college people. steph's probably gonna get rachel's because she'd be good at it. at laying it out and stuff cuz she's creative like that.. and i hope syb gets the column, i don't know what i want. i don't want news again. i want a single page.. entertainment? just kid-DING! oh yeah, syed called dolbeare pathetic and said many obscenities to him at layout. apparently they are so different that they can't help but hate each other.. but i like jim so? during layout we called kids around like 10 to 11:30 about what happened for the sports pages.. must have been fun? waking up to a phone call: hi, we're from the crier!
so i spammed michelle's tagboard again. with brak and cucumbers, and passion and other things. when i got home, i had a govt test to study for and that took me til 3:30 am until i just collapsed and passed out, HEY! i pulled a JENNY!
three hours later just kidding! thursday: so i was insanely tired. it ranges from slap happy insanity to anger tiredness. seven times i just cracked up so hard that i had tears streaming down my face, and people in the hallways just giving me the weirdest looks. in govt, the test was just so funny i laughed through the whole thing.. in bc, i just sang a lot until i realized everyone was looking at me and then laughing the whole while i said mean things to dave francioni, football god.
in fzzb, kulak told me that i couldn't sit by anyone today and carlos and big bill accused me of watching TOk-E-Mon. in lunch, i got gravy on myself because i don't know how it happened! and english, i just annoyed lizzie by laughing and laughing and in stats, i laughed throughout the test when i remembered that i didn't have a calculator and bergo "lost" it wow.. and me and shashin are writing hate letters to girls who love a certain justin? on the desk.. we're having a war. in spanish, just check amalia's site for details.. yeah i had a ninja star fight with mohammed, and ray. and then amalia started the whole beobo thing.. you know what i'm talking about.. yeah you do. and then i took it too far so eh. we tormented like we've never tormented before! wow steph will be angry.
hojoon's interesting thing of the day: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*wipe tears*
monday, april 29th
so.. michelle has a new layout and it so kick's this site's rear hehe.. just like life kicks my rear..
i think my new theme is in order.. it will be so awesome! once i download adobe photoshop.. or so i assume.
so today started off innocently.. i didn't mind this day at first. then that fricking wench steals another pair of my pants.. by wench i mean a kleptomaniac NEEDY girl who i don't even know. it's SICK that she would even THINK of borrowing my pants in the first place.. who knows where they've been? i admit i haven't had a gym lock since october but really now.. at least i know it's a girl. first she steals my coveted american eagle warm ups and now my [undisclosed brand] pajama pants that i was going to use.. i know that this girl may be in need of a new wardrobe but i doubt she could fit in my clothes.. unless she's shortlegged like me. I'M GOING TO POST UP A SIGN AND BE LIKE: B*CH! STOP STEALING MY GOD FORSAKEN CLOTHES.. THEY'VE BEEN TO TOWN AND BACK! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN! I'M NOT REALLY THE CLEANEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I HOPE YOU GET AIDS. GIVE IT BACK NOW.. NOW I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and THEN this takes the icing on the cake. i look inside my purse to look at my array of keychains people who love me have ganked for me.. and lo and behold i see the ONLY key to my mom's car! it seems that after i used it on saturday i forgot about it and left it on my keychain. so, after being afraid to notify my rabid mother.. i finally called her.. yes...
hot sub dinglehopper was a softball nazi today for the adventure gym class. and while walking on the shelf we had MANY MEMORABLE QUOTES JESSICA. MANY MEMORABLE QUOTES. where do we get all this stuff? all four girls warred.
then yeah.. crappy govt. crappy bc. crappy physics. crappy lunch. crappy english. crappy stats. wait.. uncrappy spanish. ahhh.. relief comes with mr. fernandez.
in govt mr. jacobson says: how many esl kids do we have in our school?
amanda simon replies: TOO MANY!
i keeled over in laughter at her stupidity.
and it seems becca vercillo has found out that not everyone likes her. it's ok.. it's not expected that everyone likes any single person. take me for example. i expect no one to like me.. that way if someone does.. it's a perk! so undisclosed person says, you should stop stereotyping our group.. or so i heard. stupid girl.
in spanish today i was talking to jenny and then all of a sudden she's on the ground writhing.. except for the writhing part. but i sort of wish... it would have been amusing.. i mean if she wasn't hurt. and mr. fernandez had spasms when mohammed argued with him lol. he says: no! be quiet now! no! sit down now!
then crier layout ensued. last issue of the year.
so. we have 6 articles of which we have zero written and zero interviews done with only 3 days of layout and deadline on wednesday. we always get by. if anything, syed and tajpuria love us more? ok just kid-DING! T hates me or so she thinks.
there seems to be a minor disagreement about who is the god of Conant High School. the juniors believe him to be Joe Rizzo while the seniors believe him to be Quinn Wulbecker. however, Quinn does have a blackmark on his record. he's nhs president.
so.. do you think he likes her? because i know she doesn't like him but does he?
wait.. lapse of judgment.
so.. hojoon enjoys mentions ey? you know who i miss? i miss dan cho. he was a nice nice guy. i saw him yesterday but since i don't talk to him anymore it was sort of awkward. so ho joon is a baby. when you see him.. tell him to put his head down and look up with his eyes and then smile his trite smile. awww.. and dan and joe s. are the most congenial siblings in the world
sunday, april 28th
so yesterday, eye appointment. i failed once again at trying to get contact lenses. maybe because my eyes are so small? the doctor had the greatest australian accent! and then later we had company over. for all you koreans [goo yuk yeh beh] and i rented cats and dogs for the little kids. it was actually the first time i stayed for one of those but happily nayeon and khris kim both came so we took all the older kids out to a movie. we called jin, kayla's brother, and we all headed out. KAYLA DIDN'T COME JUST TO IRK ME. just kid-DING! but she didn't come. then i sat through the worst movie of my life. Do NOT waste an hour of your life by watching the scorpion king. AWFUL-EST MOVIE EVER! enough said. we got home just in time as the adults left.
today: sunday.. gah! enough said? i got to talk to angie today which i enjoyed. and hojoon says my entries are boring now. so i'm going to spice it up by talking about him. hey hojoon, did you know that your multi-hundred dollar shoes are the ugliest of their kind? did you know that michael jordan is a washed-up player? have you ever heard that song by Something Corporate called If You See Jordan? i suggest you download it. just kid-DING! it's not really talking about michael jordan. so i hope that sufficed. and hojoon.. remember this? Hey Joan, Thanks for being a great friend and an encouragement for me to do better in school. You're a great person to talk to, don't change. From Baby. i'm sorry. i don't know what came over me. ok so today isaac took me home quickly. He and Phil stayed at my house to watch Cats and Dogs and stuff themselves full of mud pie.
i left part of my friday entry up because it was just a fun day.
friday, april 26th
this just in: i got back from canning and it was a great experience. we raised money for miseracordia, a home for disabled people. i was a lady walking the streets for a lil while there. i worked the streets from 12 to 2 and then 4 to 6 on schaumburg and roselle. however, amalia forgot to pick me up or i never told her but i walked to the thing and got many honks and stuff. THIS is why people hate walking places. then during the fun first interval we saw so many people: first it was justin cheng [i guess he's cool?], graham, michelle and jaclyn, samad [amy: the guy with big ears? me: no that's sanam], and farhan. i got some guys in a car telling me that they loved me in korean! except they were a variety of ethnicities. we all got a lot of that...if i give you a quarter, what'll you give me? and it was horrid yet great. so we dropped off sarah and headed to amy's and pseudo-watched american history x. then back to work and this shift wasn't as fun because ppl were more hurried and harried overall. fat tony morales! stopped in the middle of the road during a green light because he saw me! i'm getting to like him more and more each time i see him lol. and oh, on the way back to the second shift we dropped by the roselle and wise location where grody brody, candace rodriguez, and mike ammentorp were working. we got lots of suckers even though we didn't really need it. the smart donaters were the ones who took the little cards and stuck it in a visible spot on their dashboards. the stupid ones avoided my eye contact and started just driving by or calling someone or something. this shift i made up a song called, "avoid me" avoid me like the plague, avoid my eye contact. avoid me, cuz no one likes me anyway. avoid me, cuz you don't wanna pay

i like mia. [in a bartleby voice]
may the roof over us never fall in, and the friends beneath never fall out.
so today was psae's and they were an insult to the intelligence of juniors everywhere, except for farmers? "you could be a farmer in those clothes.." just kid-DING! they insulted farmers also. i timed myself on the last test. 19 minutes flat. that's just disgusting because they gave us 60 minutes. but since i was racing the clock i might have just not cared what i wrote as answers. eh. and josh and jess are the most annoying couple ever. stop poking me TOGETHER. so after, we all congregated and left for taco hut.
kayla: i think the act's were hard and i couldn't finish. but these were... OK.
me: it's cuz you're a fob isn't it. lol. jp!
so we allocated ourselves successfully into two cars. amy's car was the fun one full of fun people going to taco hut, and sarah's car was the bohr-ring car that was full of bohr-ring people going home besides ru-paul and jenny. so yeah there was a car on the road that was pretty slow so i told amy to cut it off and then she did. and then as we were passing it was carl bly and samip joshi and they were irked and were speeding up to pass us by! and once they did because amalia's car has no pick up i told amy to honk a lot. and so she did. and then they turned into taco hut and we did too. then they stopped and carl in his matrix-y sunglasses got out and lurched at us meaning amy. GAH!
so at taco hut there were a lot of people. three groups all from conant. but the funniest group was the one composed of swimmers. heather HARTMAN HA-LLOO and tim jackowiak and karen's group stole a sticker sign off of taco hut and were chastised because they weren't pro's but they got to take it anyway. and i wanted the BIG STICKER SIGN. but no one would divert attention for me so it didn't work.
so, many moons and obscene gestures later, we embarked to moniqua rayray's house. there only I watched coyote ugly as they were evil. ru-paul, jenny, and nhil had to leave while the rest stayed and steph was evil. she took the last frap and didn't let me have a drop. I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR OVER 3 MONTHS NOW! gimme a lick. jp.
i hide beneath the clouds and whisper to the evening star.
yeah, we're going clubbing over the summer whether kristen wants to or not. and indiana dunes, and somewhere else i forgot. and a concert. so later, we had girl talk where i divulged who boy was. or did i? ok i did. and i got steph's, moniqua's quasi secret which wasn't hers, and i left amy alone. she's vicious.. i like her. so amy left to eat and we ate at monica's. girl talk was fun. i never get to do that. but now they know the reason why i'm so hopeless. amy got back and i demanded that we bake brownies before we do anything else. you know what was fun? when i hid steph's glasses. in the plant!
then we all piled in and left for grahamalonian's house. wow, schaumburgians. they weren't as kooky as expected. however, michelle's mike is out there. meaning he was cool. he knew what brak and space ghost were! and he knew the songs! do do do do DON'T TOUCH ME! chikachika ah! so i met who this jaclyn is. and later as michelle and mike left, grody brody the nhs president hopeful joined us. there was way too much innuendo going on as was to be expected upon reading michelle's page. it all began with an innocent magazine starring shakira called complete woman. it ended with a newsweek "suicide mission love triangle for DEATH! i mean... LOVE!" so yeah, all i remember was stephernay glued to the computer screen once again. bartleby voice: i like graham and jaclyn. so then we had to leave because our ride is a sixteen year old! while the rest are 17 besides moniqua. you young'un.
as we were leaving the others were leaving to go eat dinner in grody brody's large car. they tried to block us on the way to schaumburg road but we pulled on on the left of their car, and then TOOK A RIGHT! and cut them off but sadly as i mentioned before, amy's car has no pickup whatsoever so they blew past us. so i demanded that we do that. amy tried using her signal. so i demanded that she not use her signal anymore. that failed also. then we had our moments of glory on roselle. yes we did. many obscene gestures and shouts later, i was home. gnite
today i woke up and my possibilities are already laid out before me. i signed up to go canning from 12 to 6. i cancelled voice and then i'll have to go to church. i want to go to conference! blast. and tomorrow i have an eye appointment. because they stink. ooh the possibilities.
wednesday, april 24th
today was the act. why make such a big deal about these standardized tests anyways? everything they test is stuff you learn in elementary school.
so today we took the brutal yet FUN? [i don't know... cuz they're easy?] tests and the lee's were in a row.. it was great because stephanie was exiled. i talked to megan lee who i normally don't talk to even though she's in my english. viva la collins tshirt! it was just a pointless time waster that actually provided a half-day for us so i'm happy.
and i have learned so much since you've been gone
and i have done so little for so long..
i'm referring to my not taking any tests for schools yet. i'm not leaving myself any real time if i want to apply early action. i'm going to have to take each test only once. science math and english are so easy. stupid reading!
so after testing, a bunch of people [read the list on steph's cuz i'm lazy... but they were cool people] met around sarah nolan's locker to have lunch. we luncheoned! at wendy's. i sat in ru-paul's car which was kind of scary because she has no sense of direction at all. look there's wendy's! let's just PASS IT UP NOW! and i was excited because i saw the worst parking job of my life. this car was sticking up like two feet in the air! on the curb! and i wanted to take a picture to show someone but step-on-me wouldn't let me have the camera. so we had a makeshift picnic at kristen's house. she lives about a block away from me! HOW COME HER YARD IS SO MUCH NICER THAN MINE THEN? IT LOOKS LIKE A STREET CAFE EXCEPT WITH BOTANICALS. so we ate and talked and all that jazz and thaky walupa went straight for the music again. she is one obsessed girl. kathy! if you're reading this which i highly doubt i want you to wear bergo's flip flops cuz... hehe... you know..
a bunch of people left to go to school so later everyone who was left went to the school parking lot to retrieve sarah's ghetto car. it's like a 1980 model but it's stick shift. not a good combination. IT STALLED 3 TIMES AFTER WE DROPPED DUDZIK OFF! crotchcrotchcrotchcrotchcrotch... i mean... her house is the house with the crosscrosscrosscrosscross. we all went to the mall to find backpack purses and throughout the whole day [it all started with wendy's] we got weird looks from the older more rampant capitalists. we left the mall by 2:30 cuz sarah needed to go. me and steph ganged up on pretty little moniqua rayray in the hipcheck game. while on the way home i realized that my name tag sticker from student-staff exchange day that i stuck onto my new government book was not going to give up without a fight. I didn't think it was gonna get stuck.. I SWEAR! and now since the book is new i'm the only one they can pin it on.. plus it says my name ya know..
later when i got home i called someone to see if they can work.. ok i'm not going to try to talk in code.. i called them to see if they could play. but he couldn't since he had practice. so nyah! there's your mention chris.
i got bored slowly and then i talked to amy about doing something.. shortly after i found myself at stephanie's watching ferris bueller's day off which is the best movie ever. ferris bueller is very deity-like. i almost broke-ed the tv using the light. "i would prefer not to." imagine bartleby saying that in a seductive voice. that sums up our whole experience in one phrase. amy is awesome. she is so cool. except when she makes fun of me when i thought that matthew mccoughnehey? WOW THAT WAS THE MOST AWFUL SPELLING JOB IN THE WORLD! when i thought he was singing the donca song? and the twist and shout song. and when she probes and touches.. GOOD LORD KIDS! i'm a touch-a-phobe. enforcing your own terms of touch on me will not help.. in fact you'll probably make me hate it more!
then amy dropped me off at the last macro session of the year which was a grave disappointment. we gave G a thirty dollar gift certificate to starbucks. thanks to nicolei and mikey for "organizing" that. then i had an urge to go to ben and jerry's which was not fulfilled because chris's parents are crazy. shanayna took me home with alpha zulu while they blasted loud ghetto rap out the windows and in my ears. i almost died. except when that "i'm real remix" came on. that song's ok. and i like enrique. enrique is great. here's a song for shanayna and zulu: catch a falling star and put it in your pocket never gonna let it go!
and that's for phil's friend sanchez because he was obsessed with that line at the lock-in.
so.. i called chris and we talked. i don't really TALK to people on the phone any more. but this was nice. and i didn't get to go to ben and jerry's but it was an hour? well spent. and then i watched the WORST SHOW IN THE WORLD. and then i watched the best show in the world.. JUST SHOOT ME! go high-powered blush staff! and now i'm back here at approximately 10:30 updating and getting ready for psae's? which means i'm just gonna sleep because i don't think i care.
tuesday, april 23rd
today is technically friday.
no more stress for the whole entire week!
wait... aren't ap tests coming up soon? can't take much more CRAMMING IN OF INFORMATION FOR THESE BLASTED THINGS!
we played the pink ball game in gym today.
me: continue that way guys!
j.lu: CONTINUE?! WHAT! OPERATION?! STUPID!
yes, this pink ball game is the best. it nurtures my competitiveness [like it needs nurturing]. i basically take the guys down by the knees. it's like psh.. cesar trying to jump on? I DONT THINK SO! SMACK! PUSH! SPLAT! or it's like guth trying to get a piece of the ball? I DONT THINK SO! BOX OUT! or it's like stupid big stef trying to push past me? I DONT THINK SO! I'M JUMPING ON THE BALL..... NOW!
i had four tests today and it was pending on being 5 but thanks to rogers. wait, i mean NO THANKS. i like my stress in big portions please. no little skimpy snacks for me. today was govt test, bc test, last physics test, stats assessment.
so, each one was insanely difficult. i hope everyone fails so i can be the curve maker.
tomorrow i'm luncheon-ing with interesting folks. i think i called backseat window of rupal's car today. i think it's moniquarayray, sarah nolan, amers, kristen? and more? we're all just going to show up. so tomorrow is act's. too bad i don't care. act is for the weakhearted that want to stay instate. or in the midwest. don't you want to get out of here?
rupal thinks that she gets good lunches as a reward for not eating animals.
bergo keeps on trying to sway my opinions on certain people. no offense but i think i have a legitimate reason to dislike them. i don't even hate them. i just don't like them. you know that indifferent not liking thing. not insane hatred! i agree that had things not transpired the way they did, i would like them. however, they transpired so down goes my opinion of them. i would stick up for anyone i even remotely knew if i thought they were decent people no matter what my jerkface of a friend says. but that's just me. you know what's funny? today was senior ditch day and i recall seeing all of my classes full of seniors... FULL! maybe because we had an insane amount of tests today.
in spanish we got to play another game.. a CHEATING GAME! stupid cheaters. maoma is the worst i swear! no lollipop for him. i exploited the use of the word emergencia to get my way. i have no problem with that, believe me. i love it when senor tells someone to shht! be quiet now. lol. yeah, so nothing interesting happened today. no free ice cream, no track meet, no nothing.
i want to go to the gymnastics conference thing at hoffman on friday but i can't.. sorry kids. when is cougar twilight? cuz i'm gonna watch jenny and her high calves.
news flash! apparently joe rizzo didn't make it into harvard. shame. joe rizzo is very close to a god. athletic and academic prowess to the e=mc^2 power.
so... i swear i gave up ganking. to the cult members.. the term ganking [referring to my survey] was coined a long time ago. i have long since turned mah ev'l ways that down 'der south.. meaning i ain't ne'er gon' do dat no mo' mr. jacobs! and that survey was taken 19 whole days ago. and i so can change.
so i wanted to play with justin and tim. we were going to invade tim's trampoline but it didn't work out. WILL YOU TWO QUIT TOUCHING ME! and i got an honorable mention on josh's list as a she-devil.
SOMEONE COME PLAY WITH ME! WHO CARES ABOUT THE AP TESTS AND ACT'S AND PSAE'S?
i need to remember to bring two dollars for gillette tomorrow.
monday, april 22nd
yesterday i went to church feeling miserable, i went to bed feeling miserable. today i woke up feeling vaguely indifferent, i will go to bed feeling miserable? or so i predict.
yesterday i went to church, saw joanna, patrick pak was there too so that was cool. i caught a ride home from joanna around 1:40, hoping to get some hw done but i ended up turning on telemundo for a spanish version of candid camera and then falling asleep for 3 hours. then i woke up and finished everything and just ended a really boring day. oh yeah, who wants to go to incubus/phantom planet?
today i went to school, second hour i felt really good for a bit and then was brought back to my definitely not semi charmed life. math sucks, physics sucks, lunch sucks, english sucks, stats sucks the most, spanish provides vague interest to me. i went to ben and jerry's with amy and saw tozog on the way because he walks his dog three times a day. it was free cone day and amber robisch was working and gave us huge servings. kelli semro was there, ah another girl with a semi-charmed life. then i saw greg combes and that reminded me about the macro session later tonight. so amy and i talked and had fun and learned about each other's lives, or so i assume? i need more people to talk
saturday, april 20th
hey look guys, it's four twenty. ok, i shouldn't know that?
may the roof over our heads never fall in, and may the friends beneath never fall out. [irish blessing - by me! jp, lol kathy [if she reads this page ever]]
last night the lock in was very interesting. i had to get there by five so i rushed to make it and yeah i don't know what i think about it. we played lots of games like the icebreakers. we played two truths and a lie, and a "scavenger hunt" where i was the winner of the ugliest boxers and i think they were. then we ate and played dragontails, relay races, food eating relay races, and a lot of dodgeball. GO TEAM 2!!!!!!!!!! i opened the can of whoopbutt against team 5. too bad i didn't play like that the rest of the games!
the princess diaries were playing as our neo nazi leaders tried their hardest to separate the girls and guys. eh, not like our guys are cute anyways right? except baby ho joon. i just walked around falling asleep in different places before it was lights out around i don't know some one said 4? i don't know.. WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!!
so i was allergic, but then after i slept on the cold floor with only my thin fleece sleeping bag, i got sick. blasted wretchable sickness.
i'm going to bed soon because i'm sore too. eh, car accident but not me, someone else. minivan, the front seat out, three people sitting on ground backwards, me and two others sitting forwards. brakes go on. we fly and hit heads and all that jazz. while i was flying i was thinking.. "wait what if we hit lips? cuz that would be bad, and also, what if my teeth hit him?" so in that split second i decided to close my mouth. it's weird what goes on in my head when things are just happening around me. but i'm dizzy "spinning and spinning in plastic shake up snow.. do you believe in what you want?"
when we woke up late in the morning we ate breakfast and headed over to the schaumburg village hall thing and registered for picking up trash and we headed over to this site by frost and the ymca between that and the pickwick apartments. GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is the only way to explain it. but it was enjoyable. there were so many thorns and cuts and mud but i enjoyed it cuz it was like playing fortress. and in the brush it was fun to find ways to get into the hard to reach spots. we gathered like 50 bags [i'm exaggerating i think 20? 30? I DUNNO.. WHAT'S GOING ON?!!!!!] and left. chung used to live there. and i found ramen and korean magazines. we blame the korean litter on him. then back to the town village hall thing and then accident was then. and then headed back to church. then hung out and slept around there. wow, that just sounds bad. i don't care enough to reword it. then went home, slept like 4 hours straight again. then jenny picked me up for bennigan's for kathy's surprise party where moniqua rayray, elise, zeller, rupal, and bergo were waiting. bergo's great. so is everyone else in our group. i never want to split up. but yeah, me jenny and steph arrived, then kathy kristen and dudzik showed up for the "SURPRISE" and we ate and headed back to kristen's.
we got to kristen's around 9 30 and then i left at 10 cuz i was tired in many ways. so i'm here updating, and now i'll go to sleep. gnite kids.
this was in my head all day. dc - for justin

it's been a year now, since you were here now. [this line was on repeat in my head]
And I have learned so much since you been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up my grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll peter out these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane
friday, april 19th
yesterday was jess's birthday so in the morning before going to school i ganked a balloon and a card. i'm just kidding. i only ganked the card. ok i'm just kidding, no more ganking for me i promise. goinking, on the other hand, is quite all right. it was a barbie card and i got her a balloon that said it's a girl to make sure that she's not mistaken for a goddess.
so, in gym football rocks again. i love football. i love football. i love it when we have secret hand-off plays and such. it's fun because now i understand it completely. jessica is still off in the clouds.
qb: here jessica!
jess: [catches it] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! JOANIE!
me: [catches it] uh, jess, why'd you do that?
team: yeah, we only gain up to where you were standing, and had joan not caught it, the other team would have possession.
jess: i don't know! NEVER LOOK BACK! lol, or something or other along those lines.
so, math sucks because it's all ap review. physics sucks because i wish it was over and i'm lost, when i shouldn't be. stupid fun student-staff exchange day! you screwed me over! so i was mellow. i have this theory. whoever sits closest to me, gets screwed over because i distract them. and also, whoever sits furthest from me tends to do the best on the tests. for example, jenny is the one that sits furthest from me, then monica, then stephanie. so stephanie is gone and i just distract her on whim, monica is half-gone and only understands half, jenny just ignores us. i know it's hard for her because we read the spot near her part of the table, it says: Jenny you have to concentrate. and she wrote it over and over again.
in english today, i seemed to have stolen some lines from people. i didn't know it i swear! i wasn't here on wednesday and i thought i was the one who brought it up i swear!
stats sucks, spanish is once again the coolest class in the world. yesterday steph came so i sat on the floor and played with rupa while we were all watching destinos and rachel gets action. today, caitlin was gone! :(.. but good news, I got to take her seat! and it's right by heather hartman HA-LLOO! and karen. so i took morgan's rose because she gave it to me. and on the way home i checked to see if boy loves me. it turns out that he does, but i don't believe it. i gave up. ahhhh. there. i give up. i give up! I GIVE UP! i am set free from my passions.
ok, we had a "dinner party" for jessica at her restaurant last night. it was great. after i helped clean the council office [hey i voted today! i'm young, i'm a republican, and i vote! i'm just kidding. but i voted for katie hamill and jessica morton cuz the others are hypocrites which is to be expected of most high school students so eh.] i went home and chris picked me up later. we picked up josh, justin, eric, and nhil and then headed over there where happy birthday to jessica! and Jenn Vance were waiting. she's so cool, she claps her hands when she laughs like me! and she says everything and anything on her mind which is kind of disturbing. so she got a sneak peek into the inner circle and i think we're drawing her in. muahaha. she whipped nhil's eye with a napkin and it was fun. almost like turnabout decorations time. i was tortured all night, yes i was. so on the way home justin and nhil tortured me. i swear it feels like worms. and then at school today tim tortures me even more and also steve chong! i hate you all. and then chris tortures me by driving off and letting justin keep my mod jacket.
i'm going to a cult lock-in tonight and community service tomorrow because i got caught ganking. PSYCH! nope, just for fun. just like i'm going canning with amy for fun. and then i'm going to a restaurant for unsaid gathering with unsaid school friends. and so i have a busy busy weekend. gnite.
wednesday, april 17th
today was student-staff exchange day. it was fun. must do next year. this'll be short cuz i gotta run off to the macro session soon.
so before school our power goes out and the garage door wouldn't open. bad times. so i take the bus. more bad times. then i meet mr. carlson and jenny during first hour. Deanne Desalvo and her friend i don't know are really really funny. so then off to second hour which was our success of the day. we had the fun kids! yay fun. it was bergo, eric marnul, costas, carlos, keith, steph, rutrut, kelli semro, and a bunch more and they were ALL really really fun. we should have played games with them but we saved it for the eighth hour class and they were all jerkfaces who were boring as heck. wow they were boring.
so one interesting conversation.. Me: carlos go erase the board.
carlos: no, woman. [starts taking his finger and erasing everything with one finger]
me: you know what you should do? lick all the chalk dust off
class: ooooooooooh, dang that one was like kulak.
on more than one occasion i was called kulak.
me: so you derive, wait.. differentiate... wait hold on .. OH that's a constant. so you understand?
carlos: we got another kulak here.
jenny and i got free lunches which we ate with papapapayal and jessica rojas and mike ragano 6 1 20 and tim ozog our fellow teachers. and justin, cant forget the justin. we got free desserts and crap and then we taught carlson's fifth hour class.
did i mention that the fifth hour class was a remedial-type algebra 1 class? M114. yeah it was horrible. so different than what i'm accustomed to. it was basically a bunch of obnoxious freshmen... wait there were juniors and seniors too even. and all the guys are like trying to "hit" on us. they encourage the asian guys to ask for my number and the indian guy for jenny's. so i wanted to just bust out the f's. and i was just thinking that wow, they're so young and immature and ignorant and obnoxious and unintelligent. so they didn't understand but we just moved on without them because yeah. all the little freshmen would just ask us a question and just give us this EYE. it was just disturbing.
i went to stats and english. both sucked majorly. then eighth hour we taught carlson's calc a class. no we didn't play a game. it was kids i either don't like or kids that were quiet or that i didn't really know well enough. so, the two arrogant kids i hate were in that class. and so was another girl. but enough about me. what about them?
after school had sae. special olympics soon. then i went downstairs walked around checked council office. now i have to go back to school to the macro session. and i heard physics was hard today. why did i miss it.. oh WHY! and to any one and everyone i rescind all hateful or hurtful comments from this page. i really can't reread all the entries because of time and i don't really expect anyone else to so yeah. i'm just a hateful/hurtful person so i'm sorry.tuesday, april 16th
so i'm gonna write big now just because my life isn't that interesting. today i got to take the bus and that's a treat because that means i'm getting sleep. yeah sleep rocks.
i have a blessing to give you guys.
may you always find cool breeze, warm summer days, strawberries, and whipped dreams. you tell me what that means for YOU. To Amy it meant that all her dreams are nice and fluffy and cute like whipped cream. To me it means that my dreams are hopelessly above me and i'm whipped because i can't attain them. To Jessica and Nhil it means a wet dream because they have triple-x rated minds.
So... i'm excited that i'm missing school at school tomorrow and i have a sickly easy week of no homework. and i have a lock in to look forward too. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nhs! i have one too! except booooooo on melissa because she has both. blasted girl who lives a semi-charmed life.
today i had a normal day and we played football in gym versus zulu and kayla's team.
me: how many seconds after we rush the qb?
jess: i think 3 now.
me and jess: [counting] one.. two...
Anthony Falbo: wait... i hear counting.. is someone going to rush me?
us: three. GO!!!!!!!! GRAB AND TWIST!
fun times. in second hour yeah life sucks. third hour i got a super cool new pencil and eraser. so, i think this math is easy and i currently possess at least 8 pencils and 4 erasers. fourth hour we learned quantum physics.
duh... is that like time travel? and we made fun of kulak about his writing. fifth crazy eric was here again. why would he want to come back? just boggles the mind. and i said something mean to josh and jess only jess didn't hear me but josh did and i don't really remember what i said. and i learned the friends sign for swears! one is like putting two fists together side by side and hitting them. the other is like a chicken on a neck.
there was a council general assembly meeting in sixth. yeah i'm voting for jessica and katie. becca vercillo and eric england can just... blank. becca says, "i want student council to be a intimidation free environment." i just thought, wow you don't want to talk to anyone besides eric anyways so how would we want to bring our "ideas" to you? and when asked about her biggest weakness she says, "it's having too many ideas" MY BUTT IT IS! and then she stresses cheerleading and nhs. screw you. and then eric england is like, "i'm president of students against destructive decisions." too bad everyone in that club is a hypocrite and they go get drunk and high every single weekend. so yeah, they just don't work.
seventh, quiz. eighth, quiz that sucked. and then after school i was gonna go to the girls' track meet and the gymnastics meet. eric and i walked outside and we saw the original sarah lee and mary rose. so mary rose invites us to go and "eat" so we went to jamba juice. we talked about how there are fags how there are guys we want to ask us to prom. eric just sat. eric got a femme boost in his jamba juice. so i lied.
we got back to school where i met amy and dudzik for the track meet. we went to the jumping pit and watched jenny and bergo. then we cheered with rupa and others.
rupa: RUN RUN CONANT! KICK ELK GROVE'S BUTT!
rupa: clapclapclap good job elk grove [softly]
then we watched incredibly fast sharita, tamika, and cara zizzo and all the runners in general. our track teams rock. also our gymnastics teams rock.
so i found chris and he was gonna drive me but he was feeling evil. i felt really evil and hateful today too. so that was not good. when you put two people who feel hateful to the world, you get a lot of clash. and so i went with jessica to pick up steph and then set out to hoffman.
jess: where'd higgins? [DICK!]
so we pretended to be hoffman kids and i saw susan jung at hoffman's track meet. we sat and did homework while watching an incredibly good matt herzau-clone. this guy from hoffman is a machine. he won first in every event. but conant won overall. nice job to brennan, rob, rick, rich, kevin callaghan, carlo preiss, leo and everyone. so sungsoo who is jihee's brother was there. for shame. i'm just kidding, he did very well for a sophomore at a varsity invite. he'll grow in talent by the time he's a senior. i was being really really mean at the invite. i made fun of anyone and everyone. including sweeties like annie so i feel horrible even though none of them know besides jess. so heinous heinous girl i am. i think jason brandenburg was there and i saw him but i didn't say hi because i never say hi. so after being hateful.. i got a ride home from hateful chris. we got into pommel horse flicky bird fights with nhil and then a race ensued. jessica with her bimmer actually sped for the first time in her life. and nhil showed us a full moon. and then justin deinlein flashed their car. and i just kept on doing the friends' signs for profanities. and then we ended up not beating them cuz chris thought nhil was in our car. so today was a success besides the fact i didn't get any homework done.
monday, april 15th
so saturday continued: basketball tournament part two. i was supposed to be there by 8:00 to catch a ride but i figured that i'd have the car so i woke up around 9:30 and then updated so i was late. when i got there, [you take 53 to lake cook, get on to 83, wow i feel like i have a good sense of direction because i talked all that highway jargon right now. i'm so proud i could just bust my buttons] it turned out we still hadn't played yet. we won the first round, not that it mattered cuz we lost anyway. dave took his slice of humble pie.
when i was there i was reminded of my junior high days, when i'd used to go to check out guys and stuff. man, i was so stupid. now my eyes are opened. korean guys SUCK! just kid-DING! but it was fun. we lost to hebron so we got kicked out of there so we all headed over to dan s's in mundelein. yeah jess, ya hear? i was in mundelein! again! and we sat in his screened patio thing again and more people hurted themselves. muahahahahahahahahahaha. john ko got pushed down the stairs so his ankle is twisted. chung cho's ankle looks as big as a peach. and then we'll revisit bryan cho's ankle which i don't really even know the scope of his hurt. so i hung out with some gimps. after dan s's we headed back to schaumburg and ate at OCB where they had a rib eating contest.
jay: hey joan, why don't you figure out how many pigs we ate?
they committed genocide and wiped out all of the animals. and pastor john's kids jonathan and jeremy were so cute! jeremy just passed out in a food coma. [so did chung later and we laughed because when he's in college he won't be able to control himself so he'll come back about 80 pounds overweight]
then off ho! to melissa's! to watch iron monkey! funniest kung fu movie ever. even though i was upstairs with hojoon, bc, and jay. i love the sophomore guys, especially hojoon because he looks like a baby. and joe, because he's my little brother. i can't really say that i like the older guys because that'd be weird, i can say i like the younger guys because they're my dongsengs. melissa was getting ready for the nhs lock-in. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
she had on her bathing suit and all that jazz and was gonna go swimming and i was so sad. the only reason why i wanted to make nhs is because of the lock-in and the whole goldsash get to graduate first thing. but she was sure to see boy there. i heard they tied up lori and sarah in saran wrap again! and stuffed cupcakes in their faces which would have been a lot of fun.
Sunday was the most beautiful day in the world! before service i went and played at the park on the seesaw. good thing i decided against wearing a skirt! and then after service i ate outside on the park! and then i played with kids on the park! and then i had-ed to go to caribou coffee to our physics group. i only stayed like half an hour anyways. but the time was well worth it. but upon taking the test, NO THE TIME WAS NOT WELL WORTH IT. NOTHING ANYONE SAID HELPED ME! YA HEAR?!
so i took nhil to church, and then we just walked and called j.lu and then we left right away. WAIT, rewind. Dan S. didn't get into Georgetown! he's rooming with dave! next year is going to be so much fun when i visit u of i! sorry dan, i wanted you to go to georgetown and everything.. but i'd rather have you close [just in case he reads this entry]. he'll go somewhere much better for grad school anyways. RIGHT! so now i really want to go to u of i. me angie, janet and melissa decided to take mark to wisconsin dells so he could be our slave and drive us! water parks YEAH!
ok sunday back to sunday. i went to lilly's house and she didn't tell me that i should have brought my bathing suit to go in her hot tub! we went to OCB again. but this time i ate so little it wasn't worth the money we paid to get in. but bread pudding is good. yes indeedy it is. robin has such a nice car now! corolla forever! just kidding. but seems that tara joe and pat park are dating now. best of luck to the new couples except the ones at conant. you guys can just go lick a derriere.
today is monday.
joe meister had a good idea. like at schaumburg the junior senior girls wore stoplights and if they circled the red, that meant they had a date. if the yellow was circled, they were waiting for that special someone. if the green was circled, it's like "HELP ME I'M DESPERATE AND I'D GO WITH URKEL! I'LL TAKE WHO I CAN GET!" so yeah, i'd be green. GOGOGO! so i moved into the slut locker finally. and now i have my own little corner. we play football outside and it's fun cuz i can catch! and touch tackle them???
physics test kicked my butt. must get preexcusal for council. must sign pre-x for student staff. must read tommy the tome on gatsby. so tim had interesting guesses on who boy was. and i told tozog that he's a moron. and now i have to finish my homework before i go to the first ap macro gillette session of the year! for me at least. i missed last week's.
saturday, april 13th
so, i have determined college life is basically a bunch of kids.... say ten thousand of them ....and they are all just ditching class and sitting on the quad either playing frisbee or ball or watching other people dance in front of the quad.
so, i have determined that you of eye is a very viable and desirable college to go to for me. of course i also make this same decision all the time only to later say that i want to get the heck out of here.
so this is what transpired. on the busride there i tried to get work done which was futile because i basically gave up after 12 minutes.
here are the people who went: me, jenny, jessica morton, papapapayal, sea caballero [beknight], vicki zhao and her pavel, kevin wisser, samad, jim cerami [we had fun laughing at him without him knowing about it], alan, alex v, andy janssen [he has long arms], and mikey armbrust! hey mikey! you like the kix?
so we had an ok group and we got to go eat at friday's where basically every meal was paid for by the district. the district is rich. all your tax dollars went to paying for the wyse team's meals [fridays, continental breakfast, panera, red lobster] and hotel fees [100 dollars for every two people]. so later that night we played cards. after trying to play bs we realized that we're all bad liars so we played some egyptian thing with face cards and sandwiches and slapping. so i won after 2 or 3 hours? sounds like a riot. we tried to get out and walk around but we couldn't so we tried to kidnap the teachers but we couldn't.
so the next day, we went to the student union did the wyse jazz and saw many many enthusiastic wyse teams. i thought to myself, this is the realm of the nerds. be warned and be very afraid. no one on our team cared, i don't think anyone really studied. i know i didn't. but hey i choked too so maybe there's a correlation?
after the testing was done we got to go eat and then walk around campus. i saw peter lee and caroline. caroline was just like, um what are you doing here? and i was like thanks for the warm welcome. a term from the ataris - hey kid... [btchbtchbtch]! peter was still really nice though. yeah so i was disappointed to not see more people since i figured everyone would be out. after, we had to go watch the awards ceremonies and as a team we placed 6th out of 18 teams. i bet if i hadn't choked on the math we could have done better too. but a big congrats to jenny! i basically gave mrs. peterson the right to hate me even more. good god woman, why do you hate me? so we had to leave, we saw blair flicker. cool. and while we were walking around we must have looked really young or we must have been looking around a lot cuz everyone knew we were from high school.
samad: it's cuz we look around a lot and we're too large and diverse a group to be friends.
me: WHAT? you're HORRIBLE!
ride back boring til we ate and got energy to tell dirty and dead baby jokes. i actually didn't know what a dead baby joke was until alan told one and i was so grossed out. got back, i didn't have a ride. boy got back from something and i almost had the guts to ask him for a ride but i didn't so i waited an hour for someone to come.
friday in gym dinglehopper was gone! jess told me he wore shorts on thursday too. so me and jess talked about prom. i have no guts. hey want a prom date to chs prom02? craig anderson's LIST so i want to go and boy's name is not on that list so i'm hopeful. govt test easy. physics test postponed. gatsby reading now. no homework. i heard i was talked about in engrish. and they went outside. spanish nothing except talking and disrespecting senor. so i feel bad cuz he's fun but we have the best class!
later i went to the cult. no comment there. i watched more basketball
today, i don't know what i'm gonna do. i have to go to calvary for a little bit at least. and we always go out to eat after since we're gonna win. it started at 9:00 but it's 10 right now and it takes 40 minutes to get there. i should leave now cuz i'm late but i'm not going to. and i wanted to play with eric and everyone today! but i don't think that's happening since no one is on. so physics group tomorrow?
who's that lounging in my chair?
saturday night and the party's crawling.. did you hear the ringing it's the bottles calling.
i don't know what i'm gonna be like in college. people tell me that i'll be studious on monday through thursday afternoon and a party animal after that. but i don't know? will i succumb to the inevitable?
tuesday, april 9th
I JUST SCORED THE JOHN MAYER CD! SO I WOULDN'T BE BORED ON THE TRIP TO U OF I! AND I BOUGHT GUMMY BEARS FOR ME AND JENNY AND PAPAPAPAYAL AND SEACABALLERO!so i won't be updating for a cool two days flat because i'll be at state. woot woot!
couples are no fun. all they want to do is talk to each other and they're not funny anymore. individually, the kids are fun. once they're together it's like they become grandparents or something.
well, excitement brewing up in here, up in here! i'm packing like crazy except not. and i thought we had to bring sleeping bags and pillows and linens and such but i guess i am wrong and would like to express my apologies to jhenne for being stupid.
so i'm finished with everything! but i just found out i have 2 tests on friday so i'll have to read while i'm down there. and i'm gonna get an illini hoodie!
kristen a: dude, it's like 40 dollars for the sweatshirt and an extra 20 dollars for the hood!
monica denies that so.. well, i just want some illini stuff cuz i'm not going there. so we played touch football in gym and kayla and i enjoyed it immensely! woot woot! rush the quarterback! GO GO GO! zulu and j.lu just sat there. man, i could be a qb i have a good arm for a girl. too bad i'm too short to catch if the ball goes too high.
so..... Capri's tomorrow! sweet as phhhhhh.... so tomorrow we're pretending to sleep at 9 and then rendezvousing at HQ and then heading out to get wasted? wait, minus the wasted part? we'll get wasted... on COFFEE!
how do you measure one's life?
in daylights? in sunsets? in midnights? in cups of coffee
so i didn't talk to boy today but that's ok. it's cuz i slept. in physics steph was being evil just because i don't want to take asian pictures with her. what's up with that? i don't want asian pictures dangit! i'm asian enough! let's go to picture people. lincolnwood and gold mill are too fat and ghetto. also, i saw boy on the way to lunch which was enjoyable and andrew brode presented my mind with a challenge. he wants me and chris to gank a box of smints from sam's club. it's a challenge cuz they check your receipts at the door. we have the mastermind, and we have the skills so i expect this weekend? english fun. stats nap until flahaven like tapped my head and asked if i was alright. i think i sort of fainted face down on my book in an uncomfortable position. and in spanish bergo action!accion! and what accion. we finished the stuff in 5 seconds flat! and jenny and i are roommates! i'm excited! this week and next week rock! i want to go to prom! will he ask me?! WHAT! NO? you say? you wretched wench. i need to meet with carlson in order to know what his lesson plan is. hopefully it's not arcsin etc. functions. cuz i don't remember how to differentiate that. we're gonna have so much fun on student staff exchange day! and then after that, me and amy and some others want to go watch john mayer! woot woot! the best song is back to you. i love it so much.
NEWS FLASH: i just saw tim ozog walk past my house in his tang colored hair carrying a guitar. what does that mean? is he going to serenade me? a brick wall? is he walking to justin's house? where is he going? my curiousity is piqued! WHAT! ok i'm just giddy. [clapclapclapclapclapclap] now sarcastic [clap_____clap_____clap_____clap]
monday, april 8th
thus ended the motley crue saga.
yes spring break was fun. yes, i enjoy no school and no stress.
however, I GET TO SEE BOY NOW! I GET TO SEE BOY NOW! I TALKED TO HIM TODAY! AND ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS WHO HE IS SO NO ONE KNOWS WHO I TALKED TO!
so this morning jess told me something justin and i had known for a long time that her and josh were finally official. and then yesterday i heard something about chris and beth and now they're official. blast the happy wretches and wenches. i will never by happy.
however, dinglehopper was still our gym sub for today. and for the rest of the week. WHAT! yay. yes, so i gave justin something so i should have access to the slut locker by now. some one said that they had a boring spring break. if they had found out my email or my number and called, i'd be a happy wench. so today was tiedye chem day. all the happy little chem imps were skipping around in barrington-ish tiedye. i was happy, i thought i was at barrington for a while. then i was brought back to harsh harsh reality. i wish i had made my tiedye green and yellow last year. so, in math we got lots of huge packets for ap review. the year is going by so quick. after ap tests, my life will be so easy cuz crier will be over, wyse will be over. i'll only have council and sae. so i forgot that i'm going to u of i on wednesday and thursday. it was a nice surprise when i was reminded. except that i have no one to visit anymore.
and where the HECK DID i get 1.96 times 10 to the negative nineteenth power! what did i pull that out of? my butt? it's 1.6 times ten to the negative nineteenth power. because i made such a stupid mistake everyone got it wrong, literally. oh well, even heroes have the right to bleed. we got act stuff. why don't they give it to someone who cares? like vivek. lol.
in spanish, cait told me she visited georgetown and upenn. and how they're the ultimate party schools. and how we're both gonna go to one of them and room together. whichever one we both get into! YEAH! WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN! SCREW YOU OF EYE! UPENN ROCKS! AND SHE'S GONNA MAKE SURE THAT I DON'T GET INTO WHARTON OR THE HUNTSMAN PROGRAM SO I CAN SLACK AND HAVE FUN INSTEAD OF WORK MY BUTT OFF ALL THE TIME!
so i've been sitting all day working ahead on math stuff cuz of u of i. i finished all my homework until monday. SICK! but oh so enjoyable now that i'm free. and i'm gonna do that in physics and stats. i'm only gonna bring govt and the great gatsby down there. and i'm gonna have twizzlers SCORE! and a cd player with moulin rouge cd's! SCORE! so the right hand rule for wires was even more fun. it was like CURL CURL CURL! like the moulin rouge tiger claws. so after school i went home and i can't stand worms so it took me like an hour to walk home from the bus stop cuz i was scouting for worms.
john mayer: back to you
back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late
I'm so good at forgetting
and I quit every game I've played
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away
oh I will
leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
leave the light on
for me too
sunday, april 7th
so yesterday was saturday and i couldn't get out of doing this thing for church for the basketball tournament preliminaries, like the PBL only cooler and much much better. so i ended up being the timekeeper which basically was taking care of the 45 second shot clock and counting down the times for each half. yeah i was told i should have been more animated. instead of "5 minutes til half time" i should have said "5 MINUTES TIL HALF TIME SUCKERS!!!!!!!"
so there was us [afc], philippi, galilee, lakeview, and canaan the b team. we ended up winning everything except against lakeview. they were real thugs and they were SO HUGE! our guys seemed so small but we put up a good fight. they ended up only winning through overtime which almost went into double overtime also. so we sold concessions too for missions and hojoon's ugly ugly nike hyperflights were smelly. i should have just waited to the end for free pizza and free nachos but i'm stupid like that and philippi had some real cute kids. they were little but they were old. canaan didn't win one single game and the guys from galilee were little too. i feel bad for yoshi man, he was the heart and soul of their team. so thus ended the preliminaries of the first annual kayc basketball tournament. we advance so next week calvary or hebron. the tournament had 20 teams with 5 teams playing at 4 different locations. the top four at each location moved on to semifinals. we're looking at the trophy, don't tell dave cuz he'll get cocky. isaac=jack daley LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
so after the whole thing ended around 7-ish we stuck around for a little bit until around 8 we headed to melissas. we lost Sulik on the way there because everyone was racing. and we ended up renting zoolander.
ben stiller: there is more to life than being really really really really really really extremely ridiculously gooo-d looo-king.
dj's: HANSEL~ HANSEL~ HANSEL~
we ate there [go free food!!] and watched baby's day out. i hung out with people i haven't hung out with for a long long time. melissa, janet, jane, sharon a. l., dave, dan s, dan j, hojoon, chung, john ko, isaac, bryan, joe. man, that's a good crew for some antics. they stank so much
me: chung get your feet away from me
dan j: they don't smell i swear! i smelled chungs socks.
i take a big whiff
bc: see that look, it's a look of pure terror
dan j: i have a cold.
ok so later, we all left cuz it's spring forward and ho joon had a full car and was going to take us home. so bc needs a ride and he gets on the hood of the car. hojoon accelerates, and bryan is trying to get off, and he rolls off onto the side and his ankle rolls or something or other. it was like dislocated but he popped it back into place and he still couldn't walk. so this delayed everyone for half an hour and dan s took him home. i'm assuming he went to the emergency room? hopefully it's not broken?
today went to church blah blah. JOANNA is gonna come every week now! i love her! so i'm pretty excited. and then the philippi guys came to play again so we watched and sold concessions again. then two hanmee guys came mike chang good god man. haven't seen him for a while. and so we waited and waited. lilly was there and she accused me of checking someone out which i denied! and then donna j and joe and sungsoo sharon and i had an ice fight and sungsoo sat on me while dan and joe just smothered me with ice on my face. i'm gonna get them. they don't know that i'm gonna remember this.
so i'm dreading this week
i'm looking forward to u of i, the mundelein sophomore meet at conant, the student staff exchange, the JOHN MAYER TRIP! i think, the half days on psae days, last crier issue, no more wyse, less clubs. only student council and sae to worry about. i'm looking forward to the time after ap tests. when we watch movies all day. in bc we get to watch stand and deliver
cal-ku-lus? what's cal-ku-lus?
AHHHHH!
friday, april 5th
well yesterday i hung out with the motley crue again. justin admitted to cleaning his room so we all headed over there. then i called NHILVEN big mistake? jpjpjpjpjpjpjpjpjpjp just Kid-DING! we just didn't have room in the car to go anywhere after that. so we went to his house to watch a fun movie called gymka[h]ta. THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN H IN THE NAME! so, gymkahta was about a gymnast guy who participates in this game in parmesan, or yakestan. wait, it was parmistan. and its a game like a huge obstacle course with a whole army trying to kill you. there were the elements of a classic. a fob, a gymnast, a crazy town full of cannibals, a THOR. etc. etc. so he won. which means he stayed alive. i wanted him to die so life could be ironic.
we went to go play with nhil's drum set. justin can't play YAY! but he learned. and nhil's bop it gave us some amusement for a while. wait, before that we sang the songs to moulin rouge and fast forwarded through the acting stuff.
most random moment of the day, after kristine got home. [hey, she was in ritzy bitzy's car when he told me he got into an accident]
kristine: i just got home from work
me: where do you work?
kristine: successories
me: oh. how often do you take inventory?
i was just worried cuz josh ganked from that store just cuz it sucked. and i feel bad cuz i like kristine.
so then we were starving so we ordered pizza from rosarios. twas good yet messy. then me and justin got antsy and wanted to go outside when they locked us out! we tried everything to get in. even calling for jessica by doing the tiger, i want you sign with the claws and everything. when we were let back in nhil, justin, and i went upstairs to his room and played with the drums and stuff. then we snuck downstairs and set off the fire alarm to scare jess and josh who were snuggling and steph who was watching them. so upstairs me justin and nhil were listening to korean songs and gossiping like giddy little children about those downstairs. and justin and nhil have a secret they won't tell me but i'll BURN IT OUT OF THEM. then we had to go cuz we wasted the whole day! i had to sit in the middle that sucked. but justin and i continued to gossip and whisper like two giddy schoolgirls.
so today, i'm back cuz i had a time limit. jess picked us up and we headed to ihop where nhil said really loudly, "DRY SEX DRY SEX" because none of us knew what it was except jess. and then josh came. i wasted a whole apple fritter. j.lu paid in change. we left for collins. we played on the swings for a short amount of time. everyone got cold. we went to josh's. we played classic nintendo games like duck hunt, super mario 3, double dragons and whatnot. we napped for a while and by that i mean it was an all out war for the blankets and pillow. we watched lots of cartoons and mtv which sucked. then we had to go cuz josh has a mundelein invite tonight. so, i wanted to go but i can't. i got dropped off and we were going to pick up tozog.
nhil: look look!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a chicken!!!!!!!!!!
nhil: [dejectedly] aww it's just a plastic bag
hahahahahahahahahahahaha classic. also, justin and i continued to whisper about possibilities. possibilities.
i think i suck cuz i didn't do what i said i was going to. i said i would do my work right away last friday and hang out the rest of spring break. didn't work out and now i'm screwed. by that i mean i'm screwed. i think i hate myself.
so let's not talk about what i got to do this spring break, let's talk about what i didn't get to do. i didn't get to see boy, i didn't get to go to any colleges, i didn't get to hang out with anyone besides the motley crue. i sort of miss school because i miss everyone i see at school. once you get caught up with the motley crue, they don't let you out. also, i'm disappointed because i didn't get to just relax, and the week flew by so quickly that i don't know what happened. it's just a blur, what is the fun in life if you cannot savor its sweet sweet rewards? so. i added a survey today. because i'm a ganker. i gank ideas too. but anyways, everyone has it, jump on the bandwagon. reminds me. stupid bandos. i miss them! and i missed phil but he's back now so nyah! not like we would have done anything anyways. i'm just wondering right now why i can't be glamorous or have a glamorous lifestyle. the dreary life starts now! love is like oxygen. love is a many splendoured thing. love lifts us up where we belong. all you need is love. if i had it, for anyone, i would be happy. but i hate everything. by that i mean i hate myself. i realized that i suck on wednesday. and i'm just way too proud to admit to being wrong. blast it all.
thursday, april 4th
i am a cool earth. [from she's crafty] this means:
* love hugging and cuddling. too bad i'm a touch-a-phobe.
* like romance but aren't so keen on the sappy trimmings. yeah, i don't like it mushy, just ripe.
* play it safe when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend. except for boy, he's out of my league
* tend to let your boyfriend/girlfriend take the lead. i dont know about that one, i thought i was independent?
* aren't overly bothered about having a boyfriend/girlfriend. oh, i'm bothered NOW
* can't handle rejection very well. that's why i won't approach him
* are rarely unfaithful. straight
* take love and romance pretty damn seriously trudat?
Steady, kind and popular, you prefer to take a cautious approach to life and you're extra careful when it comes to seeking out new boyfriends/girlfriends. You know what you want and you're happy to take your time until the perfect person for you arrives on the scene. i only seek perfection
in love: Although you get plenty of romantic attention in your quest for true love, you don't tend to fall in love very easily. However, when Cupid's arrow does eventually strike, you're definately hooked. All your inhibitions gradually disappear and once you're convinced that your relationship is stable, you can sit back, relax, be yourself and let your love life blossom.blossom now please?
watch out: Romance fascinates you but you tend to keep this under wraps, preferring to come across as a tough cookie. It's a good idea to show your soft side once in a while - the guys/girls in your life are more likely to appreciate it than ridicule you. am i a tough cookie? i'm sorry if i'm caustic
advice: Be brave. Sometimes you've got to just go for it and just speak your mind. How's he/she going to know you like them otherwise? N-O NO!
perfect match: cool earth and cool air. blast! boy is a hot earth.
brief encounter: hot earth but i want it to be forever!
don't hold your breath: hot fire. not like i care, all about the hot earth action
unrequited: cool fire GOOD
flirt: cool water like the perfume?
stay friends: hot air i hate when guys spew hot air about themselves
waste of time: hot water xp
wednesday, april 3rd
ERIC I WILL WEAR WHATEVER I WANT. I WILL CONTINUE TO WEAR ABERCROMBIE! so i had to wake up early today to pick up rayray and his sister by 1. and i did. i drive up to their house and their door was wide open and i was like GAH! who does that? and then i assumed rayray was trying to scare me by hiding behind the door and i hit the door really hard. i hurted my hand and then it turned out he was waiting on the stairs to scare me so my efforts were useless.
they're pushing these children for all the wrong reasons
so far, man you're crushing down their spirits
they suffocate, emancipate, turn their backs and walk away eventually
i thoroughly enjoy those lyrics because it's just so true. leave the FRICKING CHILDREN ALONE! GOOD GOD MAN!
so sarah turned out to be sick to the point of queasiness and then throwingupness. we found this out by the time i drove to woodfield and i ended up driving them back home. what a shame. i was eagerly expecting to have a good time playing with lil sarah and big rayray. another time. another time.
so i went to steph's house to see if she wanted to shop and i caught her right as she was going to leave with kate houser [haven't seen her or talked to her since EVER] to jill troiani's party [i remember her i thought she was cool]. so that was an utter utter waste of time. then i had the bright idea to go call on amy to drop off the whirligig flashlight but she wasn't home either! i was so disappointed. and i dropped it off with her mother and i got her cell phone number. i must write that down. but yes it turned out she was at the mall.
i headed to the mall to find cork shoes. yes cork shoes. i found some but they're imitation cork and now i'm on a mission for flip flops. high flip flops. or dare i say it, THONGS. i saw kristine de chavez. HEY! what the heck is up with this? WHERE IS THE NHILVEN ACTION? I MISS THE QUIRKY GUY. NOT ONCE HAVE I HUNG OUT WITH HIM THIS WEEK. HE WOULD DO US WELL IN GANKING. seriously i miss the guy. i don't know where he is but since tomorrow we're expanding our circle, he might be included. so then i went home and contacted amy and jess. amy said i should join her and nicolei at ihop but i didn't have the car by then and jessica said we're watching moulin rouge somewhere.
so later after many a phone call jess, justin, and tozog came over. little to my knowledge my grandmother was cooking korean food and jess thought it smelled yummy but yess.... anyways, they chilled here for a while with butt-shaped strawberries and i took jess's car and couldn't turn it off due to the fact that it has a mind of it's own. then we went to josh's house to pick him up where we blatantly gave him shotgun to piss j.lu off.
at j.lu's we started moulin rouge right away after tim marvelled at fat cat. the beluga whale. i tried to steal justin's seat many a time and it didn't work. AND THE GUYS ARE HORRID. HORRID. THEY RUINED THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME MOULIN ROUGE. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I DID NOT CRY DURING IT BECAUSE OF THE UTTER UTTER RAWKUS. so anyways, by the end of the movie justin and i were dying because we did not bring goggles nor throat stuff and we had to leave.
i decided that both justin and tozog are little cute kids and that jessica will put them in her pocket for me to gobble up ANY AND ALL CUTE CHILDREN. beware.
we went to baskin robbins where i found MY COUSINS WORKING! it was such a surprise i didn't expect to see them in fact we were hoping kayla was working. turns out it was their first day and they gave only me free ice cream. nutty coconut mmm. ok and then they gave me a pint of ice cream to take home as a peace offering. we swung by justin's place and vivek's place just for kicks. justin's room is a swine watering hole. and his guitar is in tune. thank heavens for my ears. so we saw ugly pictures and left.
so i'll never tell~
why is this so intrigue-ing?
we must find something else to do besides ganking and movies because frankly i am bored now.
so, i assume justin will be sewing on the stud patch soon. and he is going to STOP! TELLING! EVERYONE! ABOUT! MY! PHOBIA! otherwise eric will divulge to me his secrets.
so i have this theory about the worse the theories coined by any given person are, the more likely they are to be true. because life is ironic like that. i hate how life is ironic like that. any and all things that could go wrong DO GO WRONG. just like school problems last year, church problems this year, and newspaper problems this year, i assume that now i'll get caught for ganking. i mean without all that, my record would just be so perfect, but life doesn't allow perfection. that's why i'm not tall nor beautiful nor athletic nor fun. i mean without that stuff man i'm it. but ironically it's like god just stopped with the brain. he got tired and stopped. now i have this brain that just overanalyzes everything and thinks depressing things such as those thoughts above. GAH!i'm just getting really really excited about john mayer. if this trip didn't happen i'd be so crushed. i listen to his songs so much and his voice is just so shek-shi. people think he's a dave matthew rip-off but man, his voice is dave and MORE. a husky perfect voice can make any guy ten times more attractive just for your information guys. and if the guy enjoys the talents of BRAK, DISNEY, and 2 SKINNEE J'S, the guy is fifty times more attractive just as a reminder guys.
tuesday, april 2nd
WHERE IS THE IMOOD ICON FOR AMBIENT? GAH!ok so today i wake up and i'm like i don't need this. so um, amy if you're reading this: i actually ganked you that flashlight you wanted. you know, when we run from THEM... you know... THEM! into the night and the woods where the lions and tigers and tires are. so, little justin im's me and i figured out what his screenname means. loopnswoop: fruit loops + swoop like a bird = toucan sam! yes, and then ironically jessica had fruit loops today.
so i am thoroughly enjoying the tunes of the 2 skinnee j's. first because they spelled out the title of one of their songs using numbers. 718 which i can only assume means GAH! and one of their songs has this lyric.
BADGES! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGES.
so as you can tell they're great. oh yeah that's from [the good, the bad, the skinnee].
so josh justin and jess pick me up we go to josh's house where we proceed to watch the ghost and the darkness. WORST disappointment ever. not only is there know ghost, there is very little darkness. so we were going to provide that ourselves with a little SOLO ghost in the graveyard but instead we ganked. so, the movie was about bridges and lions and tigers and tires, oh my!
dropped by the taco bell. oh my! and tried chicken quesadillas. DIAGNOSIS: EH~ just eh. by the way Jessica, WE HID YOUR FRUIT LOOPS IN JOSH'S HOUSE IN THE BASEMENT IN THE BOOKCASE AS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT JOSH NEVER CLEANS HIS HOUSE. so then we went to go steal a license plate by the intersection of park st. claire and schaumburg. josh runs like the wind. oh yeah, i refrained from being mean to josh. we have a pact. i didn't realize i was being mean until he blatantly told me over and over again today. so i said sorry, and i must stop myself from being too caustic. so, justin deinlein is like a cute little boy. jessica will put him in her pocket. and i will gobble him up just like we did with... oh wait, i've said too much. any and all cute children will be mine!
so then we went to the mall. dropped by sam goody first where justin pulled off a gumby sticker. and a glory of a gumby sticker too. it's going on his guitar. i tried to get the Seven Samurais DVD but it was a forty dollar value and i thought it was just too much for a beginner. oh because fred wanted it but i decided he probably wants a present that is not ganked. so, i assume his birthday is thursday. after sam goody we went to gamers where i ganked a patch that said STUD. and i was a) either going to wear it or b)going to give it to boy. but neither happened which you will soon see. then we headed to several stores and my conquest was at the discovery store. we walk in, i see flashlights. i look away. i think of amy. then i see cool whirligig toys that light up like a flashlight. then i nod and think of amy.
me: jessica give me your jacket
jessica: OH NO
me: just gimme that. [proceeds to pick up light up whirligig and leaves the store]
justin and josh: did you take it? no you didn't
Justin and josh: OMG SHE DID! HI 5!
then to successories where josh ganks a mini book just because the store sucks. then we looked at prom dresses at jessica mcclintock and at nightgowns COUGH nightgowns at victoria's secret. then we went on to bath and body works for candles for the lighters. i walked out in shame because i couldn't pull it off. justin pretended that he didn't have it but he DID! and then i bestowed upon him the STUD patch. and he is going to sew it onto his mod jacket. i love mod style. it's so great. he'll look like a carwasher. and so we left, a candle, a whirligig, a patch, a minibook, and a gumby richer. almost left with sandbags and a sign that says "CHACHA LOVES KIDS" but yes success!
we went to jess's restaurant to pick up her keys and then we went to her house. we checked out her room and her countless pictures of her whole family and her FAT CAT. she has a FAT CAT. pictures this. a normal cat, except for liek a giant stepped on her and flattened her out. except it's not flat, it's 3D. MAN IT IS SO FAT. PICTURE A BELUGA. ok, so we looked through yearbooks, prom magazines because i want to go. oh yeah, since i am now a major leaguer i can approach boy? justin made me feel good when he said that he's assuming it's a senior because no one he knows is out of my reach. good to know. i assume if boy doesn't ask me to prom within three weeks my hopes are dashed. so we watched smallville there. we watched an episode where lana strips because josh is like that. and i hope justin isn't like that because he's little.
after i got home i called rayray from hoffman who lives by schaumburg. because he bought me from the auction for a WEAK sum of money but he's a nice guy so i'm gonna deal. tomorrow around one i'm taking him and his cute little sister and her friend to the mall. and then on saturday night i'm taking him, andy chin chin chin and maybe melissa to a movie and dinner. this'll be fun even though there is no gankage. you've unleashed the beast! i like ray because he is a 4N6 boy. in fact i only refer to rayray as the 4N6 boy now.
so this break rocks
because i have gone out every single day.also because i have not done an ounce of work even though i promised myself i would.
oh yeah, on the way home i saw tim ozog with flaming hair walking his dog. we took pictures of him and his tanghair. it was great.
monday, april 1st
hey so ok today i hung out with the weird kids again plus glenn. it was funny because i haven't hung out with or talked to glenn since... NEVER. ok so this is what i gather from my short time with him today. i gather that he likes to make sexual innuendos about josh. AND he says he is secure with his sexuality which means he's secure with a TYPE of sexuality, it just may be an unconventional type. whoops, sorry glenn i'm just kidding. and josh makes innuendos to jess and jess with her triple x mind bears it.
ok so, my internet is acting like a ritz bitz today meaning that it hates me with a passion on more levels than one.
any and all computer users unite,
this insurgence of insolent computers we must fight.
so i made another song lyric.
any and all bandos unite
let us become creatures of the nite
like jessica lu
and hockey sluts too.
ALSO... let's give up and give in
to our every whim
i am so torn when i have so many whims borne
i know it was horrible but i'm a lyrocicist. so we had a surprise party for chris today because he's a bando and will be going to cali to stalk joy bisco while i stalk boy and leo stalks sharon. we had a party with the theme "good riddance to any and all bandos." oh and those songs, that pansy justin deinlein is going to set them to music.
that pansy justin won't get denounced tonight. in fact i'll renounce his denunciation. because he is cool and ganked me a keychain that says "lover" i'm gonna twirl it in front of my lover and hope that some kind of spell will come over him and he'll love me like a good lover should. so, chris gave me access to this screenname "justin deinlein" so i harassed justin for a while pretending to be a telemarketer who is paranoid of THEM. you know... THEM. and then i harassed steph. and i switched back to my sn and i harassed both steph and j.lu pretending to be a boxer who is josh. and j.lu picked me up and we headed to surprise steph and hid in the car outside her garage. she invited us in after denouncing us and then justin ran over when i said "NOW!" and he gave me the password to "Josh Celvi" which was made by eric tran. and then i tried the same password on "Beth Tau" and "Glenn Cohn" and they worked so then i talked to eric pretending to be chris or justin and then slowly changed the passwords to each and every one of them and slowly but surely pissed eric off. i do these things to him online and i'm sorry. but justin got the brunt of it.
and then we left for uncle bill's diner. most gross place you could ever think of and we kicked glenn out of the car. made jess go in circles, kicked josh out but he came crawling back. then we headed over to HP bakers square. it was a town of racists. me and justin did this experiment where we were sucking our straws loudly and obnoxiously because there were no more drinks left and they blatantly disregarded our interests. i understand mine cuz i'm a chink but justin is pansy-white. so, we assumed because he was affiliated with us, he was yeller. and then chris's hair is tang colored. oh, interesting thing. i ran out to burger king really quick today and then who do i see but chris walking out the doors and i was like who the what the who the what the and kept driving but stopped and said wait, let's pull into this spot which i couldn't make. so i made the worst parking job of my life and the guy next to me gave me a dirty look as he tried to get the heck out of there. and then chris sat in his car so i was like, hmm. i want to go thru the drive thru. so i did. most candid experience ever. after eating at hp, we came back to schaumburg and went to super k mart where we went on a ganking spree. chris got me a camera to take pictures and also justin got me that lover. whoops, the lover keychain. and then we struck jewel. again! and we got lighters. mine is white. i almost got steph a keychain with her name but i couldn't find my name and i said, i'm not getting her something if my name is discriminated against. we took pictures with the stolen camera and with the stolen lighters and then we took pictures of EVERYTHING we have that is ganked. so then chris had to go because he has to wake up at three. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. and eric called to confront us. and i gave him the changed passwords. and then now he's going to reveal justin's secrets and i want to know! so tranman, reveal all! reveal all! and then we went home and justin said that fremd soccer boys lived on his floor but he lied so i assume i need access to the slut locker with the today shop. quite accessable for my english/stats and macro/bc trips. well, anyways. i made up a new trance mix. if anyone wants to hear it im me. so basically you only get to hear it if you're special.
NO ONE SHALL KNOW WHO BOY IS
ok so here's the thing eric. i know that you only wanted to give me the tea infuser because it went down josh's place where the sun aint ne'er gon shine. and also, i know what mary jane means or play ball so NYAH! and we hid from steph at her house on numerous occasions and i got my socks wet in her closet.
sunday, march 30th
dude, yesterday i hung out with a bunch of crackheads that need to go get a life and since i hung out with them i assume i need to hang my head... IN JOY! ok, i don't understand?
i basically wasted my whole day yesterday until jhenne calls and says "let's bowl" and i said "ok!" and i said to steph "let's go" and then we picked up the phone and called chris pogi and said "let's go bowling" and then he said, "ok, but i'm with justin, eric, josh, and j.lu at her restaurant" i said "perfect!" so we headed out to hunan east and then there we proceeded to take retarded pictures and chris wore my purse! and then we played the circle game all night long and i dominated cuz they can't hit girls. and the girls refused to play and called me a loser
after that we ran to the bowling alley and by that i mean that we drove in a dangerous fashion trying to ram people. and the whole while trying to catch each other looking at the circles. and then i kept on yelling RAM HIM RAM HIM! because they were driving carelessly and i assumed jenny wouldn't mind.
i said that i would denounce all of them tonight. jenny i denounce because she was too quiet. stephanie i denounce because she would not hide with me in borders. josh i denounce cuz i know he wants j.lu. j.lu i denounce because of her fantasies and her quote "hey, josh and i want to watch an action movie by that i mean we want some action". i denounce justin because he looks like a pansy because he has pink hair. i denounce eric because he ganked a tea infuser. i denounce chris because he is a bando and will go to cali for 5 days. i denounce stacy because she knows who stephanie's lover is and won't tell me.
ok, after we assumed that the bowling alley was filled with old people because of league night, i found quarters and played the vending machine game again. i was going for the sticker that said, "don't worry big BUTTS will be back in style soon." but i got "even if you have an honor student, you're still an idiot." and then we left and it was horrible because chris stole a hanger from jessica's restaurant. and then it was horrible because jess and josh were half an hour late and they said things like "we got sidetracked at josh's house" and i said, "you guys are horrible." and then we left for starbucks and jenny's sense of direction was definitely off. ALL FOR NOW, I'M ANNOYING PEOPLE AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE AND I THINK I'LL GO WATCH MOULIN ROUGE. MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GIFT IS MY SONG!
saturday, march 28th
sorry guys about yesterday. let me explain something, whenever i have time to think, i think about bad stuff which causes depression which breeds anger and hatred towards everyone. sorry.
new layout. no old versions. i'm sorry about that too. i just move all my entries to the past entries section anyways so no point in archiving old layouts plus i think i like this one. just simple. even more simple than how i had it before. and now i don't have to write as much! but i'm wondering what should go in the middle.
anyways, i dropped by the chicago blogs ring thing and i found a cool site this guy ok, i just enjoyed it because he and i have a similar taste in music while i was reading i was like hey, i love that! i like that one too! ah! but yeah excitement over....... NOW.
yesterday i was talking to amy because she liked my profile with this song by rufio - dipsit and a score from rent - 525600 minutes. it's only in there because they describe my life right now but then i was talking to her and i forgot that she likes john mayer too and i forgot that my buddy icon was john mayer and then she goes ROAD TRIP TO MILWAUKEE! and i said SCORE! she said will your parents let you? and i said I'LL MAKE THEM LET ME! lets see if i can do that because then i would be superwoman.
i'm more than a bird
i'm more than a plane
i'm more than just some pretty face beside the train
it's not easy to be me
ok friday i woke up really early and i just thought to myself, what a wonderful world with a spring break around the corner. go district 211 WHOO.. then i wasted much of the day downloading songs with my 56k and then jenny came and we went to the mall when we discovered it was horrible crowded. we forgot this was the last day of break for other schools and the first for us so it was the "mezcla of breaks and teenyboppers" so we were planing a nice leisurely maybe 2 hour shop but we got out of there as soon as possible but i got a free shirt from express cuz i used that 20 dollar thing. then in aero we saw chris pogi! and he showed us the stuff he ganked that day. another lighter and a ring. and i pointed at these capri's i wanted and said. "gank them RIGHT NOW" but he's not ghetto eric who is in love with beth. and then i thought to myself "wow, chris is such an innocent kid. no wonder why he ganks"
i got home and then talked to chris again forgetting i saw him earlier that day when he proceeded to guess who boy is. but i gave up on boy. and i was just excited because i found out his sn and he was online, if only i had gall enough to talk to him. GALL! i realized that my life is anything but a movie. then i saw what j.lu wrote about her mind. and i thought, wow mine is like that too. only not that explicit and xxx-rated. mine is more like he sweeps me off my feet and lots of fun ensues. hers is like rowr. i went to voice lessons and the cult when i decided i really want to REALLY QUIT. not just be on "break" wow, i'm horrible. i decide this on good friday. but i don't know if i believe all that. i figure that my cult is filled with "mindless" uninquisitive people who have no desire to discover the truth themselves and they only receive what has been spoonfed to them since they were babies. i thought, if i wasn't born into a christian family would i even be christian? and i said NO. so maybe i'm just a horrible person? or maybe i'm the most enlightened one. no one will know until the end. maybe i'll try considering easter is tomorrow. i'll try hard. if it doesn't work, i'm out. i believe that there are some historical accuracy however, what of every other religious doctrine? i don't know. i'm gonna have to ask these questions soon. i just have this disdain because no one can truly answer my questions. the best answers are usually, "oh it's true alright, i know it personally" and i'm like "how do i know that you DICK!" so i'm only looking forward to shopping, sleeping, JOHN MAYER![he has a hot voice. it makes me think he's hot and he is because of his voice. i hope we camp. camp in a motel bring the tents and everything. and we could bring disney along also. or moulin rouge, or little women considering that there will only be women there? i dont know amy? who is driving? cuz i sure cant?], i'm looking forward to the mundelein invite for gymnastics cuz joe is coming and i said i'll watch even though he might be benched. i'm not looking forward to the calvary basketball tournament. 1. it's just a bunch of korean guys trying to show off skill and a bunch of skanks in tanks trying to scope out new dishes? 2. why do all korean guys have to act so hard and be so arrogant? it's just my experience. i decided i'm not going to marry a korean guy or anyone with any korean in them. i'll change my mind soon i think but for now this is my rant of the day.
now my rave of the day, boy knows my song! not going to divulge what song that is.
best line in beauty and the beast - chip: momma, do i still have to sleep in the cupboard?
now i'm going to change "my identity" hahahahahahahahaha that sounds funny, glayvin.
i decided i'm going to try out for choir and musical for next year. live right now! just be yourself. doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else. i know i'm not good enough for anyone else, but i'm good enough for me. the snows of kilimanjaro and stats test will be finished today! i promise so that i can have a carefree spring break. any one know sarah nolan's sn? someone who knows my new sn? and no cult members. i need to ask her something.
thursday, march 28th
yeah kill me now. wait, don't. i still have to live through spring break.
today j-lu and i realized that it was neydelhoffer's last day in gym. since he's hot we minded. and since johanneson is annoying, we minded a lot. imagine this, you've come back from a nice long spring break to hear in a really nasal voice "hi girls did you miss me? go run a couple miles!muahaha" or would you like to come back to a tall, nice, blue-eyed man that just happens to be incredibly good-looking like zoolander? so, today, to revel in the last fleeting bit of glory, i volunteered to take down sit up scores for the gym class. and jess tried to take his watch which turned out to be jc's and i laughed.
mike mannina: whatchu looking at girls?mr. dinglehopper's butt?
me: i'm just looking at what she's looking at.. WHATCHU LOOKING AT JESS?
jess: his as$! ooh, ooh, baby bend it bend it. [i am quoting verbatim]
me: man i'm gonna miss dinglehopper
and then in second hour i realized that i don't deserve boy and that he is quite unattainable. i don't understand why i do this to myself. i always like the guys that are too good for me. never in the history of joan has she had a mutual like-age. actually, yes once or twice. but always initiated by the other because i am quite attainable. cuz i give up and just take whoever i can get. pitiful huh. however, if i initiate [which means that i choose some highly unattainable and way too good for joan guy], nothing ends up working out because he's just way too up there. and wow, i seem to have done it again. heart broken.....aaaaaaaaaaa.............NOW! ok then i took the ok math and gov tests and the killer stats test. i say killer not because it is difficult, but because I myself am stupid.
me: how are guys so good at hockey?
jess: it's in their blood. their whole goals in life are to get things into holes. basketball, football, hockey, YOU KNOWit's their only way to succeed.
trudat?
i'm only bashing because i want.
so,the reason i haven't been updating is cuz of crier. on monday stayed til about 9? i dont remember. tuesday, i stayed til 11? which was highly unexpected. since on deadline day we still had articles to write.. i expected 2-ish but we came through eh eh jenny? yeah crier sucks. the only reason why i stay is to make fun of horrible things. and say horrible things next to the horrible people. wow, i'm horrible. wednesday i didn't update cuz i had three tests and i was determined to read my FIRST govt chapter which i did. gimme five! the first chapter i read, wow.. i think i rocket it though if that counts for anything. NO, if anything, nothing counts for anything in my life right now. i hate everything. grades and school and school kids and church and church kids and other kids and family and teachers and pastors and everything. i hate it all. why am i still striving to please? you know what i say? SCREW YOU! I'M GONNA GO AWAY TO A COLLEGE FAR FAR AWAY, NEVER COME BACK EVEN IN THE SUMMERS AND GET A JOB THERE, SETTLE THERE. YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN BECAUSE MOST LIKELY I WILL KILL MYSELF BEFORE I BECOME SUCCESSFUL SO ALL THE PEOPLE I HATE WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE IN PEACE AND WITHOUT FEAR THAT I WOULD EVENTUALLY KILL THEM EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY, AND THEN FINALLY PHYSICALLY!
wow, was i kidding? if i was kidding then you all will have to be careful because i will do all of those things. but i myself do not know if i was kidding or not.
in physics we did a lab and i agreed that i should pay attention cuz it's easier that way. and then on the way down to lunch i was hoping to see him but i remembered that i'm not supposed to. and then i went to improv during english and it sucked. last year the whole place used to be filled but this year only english classes are allowed to go so it was extremely crappy with crappy ideas and even jim dolbeare couldn't really save it. all the girls in improv suck. in more ways than one. with a passion. they are not funny at all. not to be sexist. i used to like my stats class but i hate it. spanish is the only place i like. today julia tapped for us and we saw little amy again. and i saw amy's lover. and i saw caitlin's alkaline trio video and rupa's cross country stuff and all the presentations rocked.
had spring break not come this week, i think i would have hanged myself.
i think i deserve this.
i think i'm going to you of eye for fred's bday
i think mark wasn't worth 41 dollars cuz he'll probably follow us around to "makesure" we're ok.
i don't need him to do that
i can't wait til wyse, i CAN wait til i have to drive Ray around, i can't wait til i go shopping, til disneyfest, and bakefest, and til i like life again which will not be.
why do i post suicidal thoughts up here? because i don't like to talk and the few people who actually check know me very well. and i have no google directory link or anything so no one else would see.
so... Coffee tonight?
then i'm in the mood to just go to bed and think.. you know JESS, my AP bedtime..
two more months to go. after ap tests, it's a breeze except the june SAT.
jules said to me "are you dumb? that's the day of prom"
and i said, "sigh.. i don't get to go cuz he's too good for me"
i think i sighed more than i ranted more than i raved today.. i'm sorry? i wish i had money to buy a journal? but i cant? so it's here? why did i tell ANYBODY about this site? i dont know? i hate you?
sunday, march 24th
first off, happy birthday to nhil. second, sorry for not updating i had a hellish week.
saturday, march 14: we had a praise team workshop that lasted from the morning till about 5. then phil, dan, and i went to go watch the musical which was good but long. 3hours and 30 minutes is just too much. and the pit orchestra sucked.
sunday: i think we went to coffee haus and had bubbletea and then just dropped by geto for a minute and i left
monday: another school day. eh.
tuesday: i went campaigning for blagoyevich even though i'm a die-hard republican and yeah. it was fun cause cait was there and i met some cool people. go democrats? except they were really unorganized and sent us off on a wild goose chase for gold road with directions from libertyville when it was actually ten minutes away. i didn't know central, nw hwy, dundee, barrington, candota, etc.etc. all had dead ends. gr?
and i realized that people hate me and i envisioned my death and the aftermath which nhil happily pointed out would do the world some good
wednesday: first day of layout, didn't go. helped out sae in making ghetto bottles.
thursday: dropped by layout, didn't do anything and left.
friday: dropped by layout, left right away with keanu reeves for the mall. and by keanu reeves i mean fred. <#1 on my list of hot fremd soccer boys and jockeys> and saw sarah lee, yi, and whatnot. and realized that on april 4th when i head down to u of i, it'll be his birthday. then at church i got auctioned off. drivers volunteered their time and gas money to drive people around so we all got auctioned off for funds for the paraguay missions team. i went for 20 bucks and dan j went for 70. a little discrepancy here? but he cheated. and i noticed that guys went for higher prices than girls. meat market? no. ray bought me and i bought dan s while i was just trying to up the bid and i got caught with a 30 dollar bid and then i sold him to crystal. me, melissa, joanne, and janet bought mark to take us to u of i for 41 bucks which is 10.25 each. and we're taking steph.
saturday: breakfast with the bunny where my favorites were little jodi and matthew. jodi for putting her nametag on her back and just running around and matthew for picking out the pink bunny bag. lotsa fun must do again. then home. then chris and nhil called and asked if i wanted to watch a philippino movie, which i did, they called and said it's at eight, and then said we're picking you up at 6 30. which i didn't get. and i invited steph. and then we went, in the process we actually saw a fremd soccer boy and he was hot because they all are. we stalked. and chris and nhil stalked joy bisco. i almost bought a filipina-american shirt for fun. i saw it, rufio was in it, enjoyed it. left, drove around and followed a car, followed it into country donuts. drove to super k, ganked stuff, i goinked stuff. ganking is "buying" goinking is "buying from the ganker" and knaging is throwing stuff away. yeah chris ganked me a keychain that says all this and brains too. and a pack of gum. and i bought a frap. and then we did that quarter thing in the machines where they've been trying to get this beaded bracelet for such a long time but i got it on my second quarter so it's mine muahaha. and then chris took a sharp turn and i spilled and then i smelled like hazelnut coffee. drove around looking for napkins. found out that nhil got sharon lee's number for SOMEONE ELSE! and i got angry. and i apologized to sharon today.
today: church, sorta quit praise team, refused communion [supposedly if you're not truly right before God and you take the communion, WOE TO THEE WOE TO THEE!] i'm not exactly on speaking terms with God now anyways. yes, i realize i'm going to hell.
chris: where the hell are we?
me: yes, hell.
i don't exactly renounce my religion but i know that right now it sucks and i suck at it and i'm a soul stealer. i want to go to prom?
thursday, march 14th
hey peons. good slash bad day today.
i'll go through it backwards. when i got home from school, sitting on top of the table was a letter from upenn! i was like SCHWING! considering that i really really really really really really want to go there, i ripped it open and i'm definitely gonna send their reply card back because they're gonna give me an application for this summer. SCHWING! HEAR YOU ME i shall never end up at u of i. my spirit cannot be tamed like that. ok before that at school i was debating if i wanted to go home or not outloud with jenny because even though i had no clubs to go to today [except council but hey, i have my 17.5 hours, i'm done.. i don't care. i'm just done] because if i stayed after school i'd be sure to see boy sometime. i think, i was just planning on walking around school nonchalantly until boy got out of wherever he goes to and ask for a nonchalant ride. blast, but i left on the school bus right after school. ok, boy is really hot and i've piqued people's interest. keep the guesses coming! ok, he's not only hot, he's totally interested in everything which just makes him ten times better than hot. intelligent, is he sensitive?, and not arrogant. wow, must stop the drooling?
before that in spanish, our group got owned by the guys' groups. craig, eugenio, y rick they basically owned the whole class with their strobe light presentation of los deseos. but eugenio was just a tad too good at pretending to be la esposa. just a tad. ok, no. me and caitlin just think that it was wrong how womanly he acted. just outright WRONG just like raquel rodriguez's skirt pants. they had accessories like a cut off plastic hand and i got to stroke people with it again. i decided, i'm only gonna take chem and then i'll take two social sciences instead. mrs peterson is gonna hate me more now but screw it. they also brought a strobe light and me and caitlin busted out the random seventies dance moves and it looked like we were moving in frames and it was just so cool and caitlin just suggested that i go out with all these random asian guys just because we're asian. racial cleansing! first we get all the asians to be attracted and go out with only each other and then we could wipe them out with ease because there will be no interracial kids to contend with. that's caitlin's thinking, or so i think. bergo is just crazy and we love downloading stuff on the t1 at school. her and amy have lovers and they share one too. when will my senior prom lover come? it's not like i want a whole relationship! i only want the one night thing. whoops did that come out wrong? in stats we had another sub day. sub days are good in moderation. now it's just, well, it's still good and the bio kids were gone again. sniffle? in english we took the naturalism test and i think i owned it? in lunch, i dont know what happened but i think word got out about friday night in junior class council and becca vercillo demanded she be let in to val? we done dont want none of yo kind hee'. because they'll turn it into their kind of fling, and not our kind of fling with the office space and crap. in physics we did another lab and i just did my math homework and i dont understand but steph said some interesting things today. if you look to the left you'll find one. wow, i think i hate you. not you steph, but anyone who is this interested in me to have made it thus far in today's entry. me and jenny are gonna teach carlson's class for student staff exchange day! he's so cool! que lastima is the best phrase ever! it's calculus time is the best phrase ever! and guess what, we love calc a anyways so we'll be there with bells on. muahaha, you guys'll have the time of your lives muahaha. this month must be breakup month ever since the first stronghold fell.. meaning beth and josh on valentines day.. about five other couples have taken that nosedive. chris and monica, missy and tony will, 6 1 20 and lauren? and others also. i think people do this because on valentines day they see the "ideal" love that they always dream of and then look at their present relationship and become disillusioned and then say, screw this. yep, only possible explanation. in math, samad said something like oh oh j and j! joe and joan? and i was tempted to make the fun of the crier loving going on but i held my tongue and jhenne should be utterly utterly grateful for that. but i made up for it by singing crier lovin to her in spanish. and i owned that test! i feel some pencilage coming my way. and in macro i got to sit in the library and i got owned that test! that's what made the day good, even though it was in actuality kind of crappy. just the academic part lifted my spirits a little. boy wasn't even here today! yeah, i'm so going to sabotage blagoyevich's campaign. i decided. and in gym we played volleyball but i missed j-lu and her constant swinging at the ball and the ball goine akimbo everywhere. and i'm going to musical with dan s and phil. sweet except we got weak sauce seats. i can live.
i finally took the bus to school today. isn't it sad when someone lives for the day when they can take the bus? because i always have to be at school so early for clubs and such and today i got to sleep "in". you wanna know what? i've conducted a study on those who change their profiles frequently and those who keep the same thing from like years ago. those who change their profiles daily or even hourly or even minutely like me are those who constantly try to reinvent themselves and those who keep the same one are the ones who are trying to keep a constant identity. hey, reminds me. must change again. rama lama lama kadingy kading a dong. also, i thought of this. since kpop is based on american culture, it's like this. korean stars are like mother birds that eat the worm and regurgitate it to their kids. they eat the "good" american culture and regurgitate some crap and feed it to their fans. sorry fans.
i've been reading this book on fifty successful harvard essays [not mine and i have no intention of even applying there] and i just decided to keep thinking about who i am and stuff because if i want to write things about who i am, i need to know who i am first. and i keep a list of possible topics for my college application essays next year. like one is about my walter mitty-like lifestyle. how i love to lose myself in fantasy fiction or movies of fantasy and music and even in thought. also, how i decided i'm going to rediscover who i am even though i probably already know that i'm some bitter asian girl that cares about nothing except for boy, her website, and the peons who read her website.
i'll rest when i'm dead.
a girl can dream: pyt
when i was a child, the story would say
somebody would sweep you off your feet someday
maybe, it's still possible?
maybe the best is yet to come? because out of the tree of life, i went and picked me a plum. you came along and everything started to hum. - tony bennett, great man
wednesday, march 13th
wow, i'm not mad at eric but he thinks i am. anyways, i recontinued the kulak diss of the day because i decided that along with my animalistic instincts, this is the only outlet that will guarantee my survival. but hey, i think there's gonna be no early bird next year? this totally sucks for all of the suicidal people out there. i mean, who wouldn't want to take both ap chem and ap bio huh? death by titration! death by phylum chordata? ok anyways, now if i want to take both i need to get rid of euro? but why would i want to do that cuz i like history and i'm sort of glad that macro is this year so i don't have to do lcap next year. and bergo is picking up pre excusals for the blagoyevich thing but i'm trying to decide if i want to do it still because i'm a republican to the bone. it's not that i'm coldhearted. i totally support welfare, etc. etc. to those who are disadvantaged but disadvantaged does not mean lazy bums. and mostly, i agree that the government should get involved in these social programs and services but one of the main reasons that i support the republican party is the fact that i agree with their stance on personal issues and values. also, government should not get too overbearing. maybe i'll run for president and beat out dan s? i had a dream that i won the presidency as the most liberal democrat candidate and dan s was sitting in a corner crying and eating elephants. i dont know how i dreamt this? is this crazy? also, i feel good because i actually have time to update today. i said that i was going to go home and learn how to do the physics but i feel like an ixnay coming on. but i beat wangy wang and therefore i can legitimately call him wangy wang now. wow, ultimate satisfaction.
today at sae: Seema: hey we're going to collect money for mrs. stearn's gift, joan you pledged two dollars right?
me: uh, gotta go! [i am a broke joke as we have previously established]
so after i ditched sae, i got annoyed by miller for a while until the distance runners went to go warm up and then i hopped the counter and helped the nhs kids sell stuff at the concession stand. i bought three tickets for the musical this saturday? any one interested? i'm scalping them for 12 dollars each. ok, i'm kidding. but i'm offering them to any one who wabnts to go watch with me on saturday. oh yeah, the nhs kids were papapapayal and lori with the literal button nose. i wanted free drinks but i was afraid to ask and that's why i even wanted to help but hey, i missed the bio kids today. they missed a sub day in stats! and more bio kids will be gone tomorrow.
man, this year's seniors are great. i got stuck in the boy section in stats. maybe mrs. flahaven thinks that i'm a hermaphrodite? hey it's a commonly known fact that the female praying mantis bites off the head of the male after mating. i was just thinking, hey! hermaphrodite! remember herman? i think? he was our imaginary friend in fourth grade that the whole class would blame? wow ok, i sold the stuff and i was waiting for boy to pass by but boy didn't because he left and amy was acting weird today maybe because she has a lover? i want a lover. i want a prom lover. but not just a prom lover, a senior prom lover. i can't wait til friday night because i'll be able to go somewhere where a bunch of girls i haven't really hung out with for a long long time will be there. i haven't hung out with some of these girls since freshman year when we all used to sit in the science hall and not the ivy league wall. i haven't hung out with them since melissa bosslet's surprise party a long time ago?
wow. the frost kids totally split up. and speaking of splitting up, the most IMaginable thing happened. monica and chris broke up and steph was not upset and chris may be upset but monica definitely wouldn't be. she's the sweetest, it was just a one-sided relationship. poor chris. first no computer, then no going out at all, and then no going out with his girlfriend any more. triple whammy and hopefully he's still grounded off the computer so i can post this for a while and then erase it when he gets his computer privileges back. i love you chris! i love you monica! i dont steph! ok maybe i'm just kidding.
we picked up more practice wyse tests today and now we're just plain excited. me and mikey are excited and i like mikey because he thinks josh hartnett is sexy in a non arthur grabski way. hey, adnan and aamir have to feature arthur in profiles because he shadowed oprah. ok, so if i shadowed springer would you do me too? i mean would you joan-ra? hahaha caitlin-ria [i would do caitlin] wait, so if you're gonna do people like that do Sara Lee just because her name is sara lee and she went to the stock exchange thing which is cooler than okra. i fell asleep before reading government again which means now i need to read chapters 2 through 10? i don't think i'm going to show up to the government ap test because i would know nothing. also, i think i pulled off the naturalism thing quite nicely well since jhenne the jenious helped me by telling me all the questions. love the jhenne. love the jenious.
i added shout outs actually. i added a new playlist too. and i updated my foe list. check it guys, you might be on there because joan fears nothing. if joan does not like you she will put you on there. and j-lu poses. ok, we did jump rope for heart today which was like "hey let's jump! wait, how come we're the only upperclassmen doing this? GAY!" but we had fun because we're cool and we try? and me and j-lu think neydelhoffer has cute blue eyes while kayla and alpha zulu don't think so. and everyone is using my fish sandwich. or better yet hoffman's quote: hey monica, can i buy you a fish sandwich? adnan! i get copyrights. sub days in stats are great because we get to act like five year olds and sit on the floor and talk to cool people i don't normally talk to. funniest and weirdest people ever. and jim dolbeare isn't even the funniest guy in class! chafin! ha! i got nominated for peer mediation, if i do this, i drop math team. muahaha. haha simple random sample of the ugliest people in the world and women with two sets of eyebrows and women who laugh at the salem witch trials and dying leukemia children. that's what you get woman!
HEAR ME YOUglayvin! all the poking and the touching and the ew! not even with a real hand, some one had a crazy hand that was cut off and plastic and we were using it to gross out people who were namely amy. and me and edu talked about C N C. you know the internet cafe and the counterstrike place and he gained insight into the asian "lingo" such as fob, twinkie, white washed etc. etc. and we got into a discussion about networks of asians and etc.
are there cuban networks? too?
sure! TELEMUNDO
tuesday, march 12th
WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT TRYING TO WARN ME IS USELESS YOU GHETTO GHETTO CHICAGOANS! IF YOU ARE FROM AMUNDSEN DON'T EVEN TRY TO READ THIS PAGE BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS. yeah, i haven't updated because i don't care anymore? ok, but yesterday i wreaked havoc on eric the tranman's love life and it was very fun. we had a warning war and then i got adnan to go onto a fake screenname and pretend that he was a girl who was in love with eric and then to warn him anonymously. and it worked all too well.
glostikguru: hey, are you warning me?
adnan's secret sn: no big boi
me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
adnan's secret sn: hey i gotta go but i'll talk to you later
glostikguru: you better!
wow, was i evil?
today, everyone was trying to find out who pc boy is. but the thing is, the p and c have no significance whatsoever. i just randomly picked stuff that would make people think of certain people thinking that it would be a real hoot? and anyways, i was trying to read my government textbook at the time so i thought hmm. would it be politically correct to say that government sucks toes? and then i said, whoa. pc! politically correct! pc boy! because we are. ok, well anyways, speaking of pc, another pc is the political club and they're working the blagoyevich campaign and they get to get out of school next tuesday. bergo asked me to sign up too. but it goes against every single republican bone in my body. would it be ok if i did it? basically, if i did it i could bungle all of their secret plans. ok, they're not secret. but i would call them and sway them to the least popular democratic candidate and that would just be fun. no it wouldn't. i'll be fair. if i go at all...
wanna know what the greatest phrase is?
HEAR YOU ME
isn't that the greatest phrase? it's like hear me roar, except not. it's more like you hear me, but a more subtle commanding tone, like HEAR YOU ME!
two more weeks til the quarter ends.. will i be able to pull through in my classes? i don't know because i hate it when you're up there, or on the borderline because you basically want the quarter to end as soon as possible so you can't screw it up. but what's it.. yeah, if you're down there, the quarter can't be long enough because you're trying to pull it up as fast as possible. how ironic.
i
just
feel
really
indifferent
to
everything
my
feelings
go
from
indifferent
to
complete
bitterness
ok that was fun and it wasted lots of room
LukiPanda: so i can be all, "hi, mrs. peterson how are you?""oh oh, how's the wyse team? the one YOU never asked me to join!? well guess what? i'm out of your damn jurisdiction now... how do you like that, ya old bag?? 'huh gang? c'mon folks!' yadda yadda yaa!" and then i'd do a little jig and run off cackling
lostprophets is a really cool band. screw amers's phantom planet. (hey ames, i dled them before you! ooh ooh! that's probably the first time i've ever "discovered" some band before anyone) and i'm only saying this because i want a legolas/aragorn bookmark wanna know why? you're working today. check my page! before you go! please?
si tuviera un bookmark de lord of the rings, seria contento! contento! and i'm going to find out who mark is.
wow, most of my clubs have ended and now i'm home at 3 30 almost every day and i get sad because of that. i should be a pole vaulter in track, or i think so. even though my friends scoff and ridicule HEAR YOU ME ALL OF YOU! i will succeed! because of my small body frame, i'll just hurl myself over the bar.
lostprophets: shinobi vs dragon ninja
got it all too high
got it figured out,
i wanna do whatever
laugh until september
and i seem to think that you are one to be with me
maybe i was wrong
everyone has gone
And I seem to think that you were once here with me
more to come later, and i'll probably get rid of the space fillers
saturday, march 9th
hey kids, i made my font bigger
care to read now??????? ingrates.
yeah, i really DONT update on weekends. how horrible. well, friday wasn't that bad.. the physics test was easy, i did fine on govt, i got to miss 7th and 8th hours, got free food, got to go on a long busride.. all in all friday was a success.
the cougar pride flags better be hanging up on monday or else i'll castrate somebody. namely, well, namely, i wont say. we did surprisingly well at Wyse sectionals yesterday. a bunch of people actually placed like mikey, alexv, pavel, payal, jim.. and even if our whole team didn't get to move on, i qualified in math which is quite the surprise because i expected english.. what is with this fluctuating? don't ask me because I DONT KNOW. well, we placed third overall but since the first and second were considered a tie, we got to advance to state. APRIL 10th and 11th. You Of Eye. Be there, or be SQUARES KIDS! ok, what's really cool is we get to spend a night there. also, after to celebrate, i chilled with jhenne the jenious. go read her journal kids. thumbs up to blatant shameless self-promotion.. gotta be shameless to be a thumbs up. and we went to somewhere where i don't want to tell you guys. ok? ok.
then after i dropped her off, i headed over to Angie's house to the sleepover when i got lost and i just happened to miraculously find my way there. that's the worst feeling, being lost. wow, i was the first one to fall asleep. maybe from all the excitement??? ok, probably not but i fell asleep as soon as i got there around 1, and i woke up at 4 30 and they were still up and watching Stepmom. and then i went back to sleep, til 7 30 until i had my rude awakening to go move the car and then i just decided to go home in the process. we just went to friendship village to do some volunteering. we made these little gifts all pretty and i'm at home now because all the kids are rich and they wanted to go out to eat while i am dirt poor. i will be moping if you need me.musings from a jenious
Smackloco16: hi
joanie xp: wow, i like that word
Smackloco16: hi??
joanie xp: yes, so concise
Smackloco16: why come? efficient? and therefore more potent?
joanie xp: YES, less letters=potentness
Smackloco16: wow. i entered the mind of joan
joanie xp: it's not just hello. it's HELLO!!! into hi. all packed in
joanie xp: is dis your pen? i dont know is it?
Smackloco16: u kno whats funny. Speakin of pens!
joanie xp: do you have mine?
Smackloco16: i was lookin at my mead yearbook the other day. and what u said
Smackloco16: your pen thievery goes waaaaaaay back
joanie xp: i used to always take your pens? you prepared prepared girl
joanie xp: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
joanie xp: speaking of pens. i should probably write govt notes. blast i wont
Smackloco16: haha, i figured u wouldnt
joanie xp: wow, worst year ever. morale gone to a new low. complacency to the utmost
Smackloco16: i would think not. since ure still doin good.
joanie xp: WELL
joanie xp: write on a sheet of paper the numbers one thru eleven. next to 3 and 7 write names of the opposite sex, that you actually know. 8,9,10,11 write song titles
joanie xp: 3 is the guy you love, 8 is the song that describes number 3. and guess what
Smackloco16: ?
joanie xp: my number 3 was pc boy. and the song was.. lifehouse - you belong to me LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Smackloco16: hahahahaah. i have to say. for me anyway. that was the most inaccurate quiz ever
joanie xp: i was like muahahahaha
joanie xp: wow, worst connection ever
Smackloco16: sux for u
joanie xp: actually we upgraded to earthlink
joanie xp: haha grounded, if you're linked to the earth. you're grounded
joanie xp:
_____<--- symbol for grounding
___
_
Smackloco16: STOP
joanie xp: am i done yet?
Smackloco16: youre done!
joanie xp: cool. this and more to come on april 10th! LOL
Smackloco16: fuun times...???
thursday, march 7th
lo que ocurrio hoy
well, today was free breakfast day or week or whatever [also known as vittles by daramelon and meister and ashley]and many people had multiple meals while me and j-lu only went for a juice and fruit loops
lunch mom: you're not getting a meals? only juice?
lunch mom turns aside to someone: do i charge them?
j-lu: RUN JOAN RUN!
me running away: does this count as primary thievery?
joe meister has this theory that the people who took pictures of the breakfast lines secretly take it of the whole line and that way they can discern who goes up for multiple meals and miraculously the next day that same amount will be subtracted off of your student id card. wow, i would be surprised if they could think that up.
Wow. Worst Day and Week EVER! yesterday some people just decided to make my life a living cesspool or wasteland which consequently made me only have my cake and not eat it too. that's right kids, i got less than ten hours of sleep and i didn't get my full allotment of think time. blast! i think i'm going to update quick because more people are visiting today?? maybe if they remember stupid jerkfaces who ratted me out. oh yeah, that's another point. the stupid jerkfaces in general go and tell kulak that "my website is dedicated to denouncing you" and i seriously, there is maybe like not even a whole centimeter dedicated to him on this webpage besides the diss of the day which doesn't even count because i'm just repeating what others say during the day. and i feel bad because i don't hate the guy at all, if you saw yesterday's entry it even commends the guy. anyways, i wouldn't have minded if i hadn't gotten into trouble last year [not about a website or anything]. kids, you don't even know what a record is, spoken from one who truly has a worse record than most of you. a lot of people think, o man i'm such a cool bad kid because i've gotten this many obligations or detentions or saturday schools or i've gotten into this many fights. you don't know jack about getting something that looks REALLY BAD on your record. stupid kids who think they know everything about me. you know nothing about me. anyways, when kulak was just joking about this being slander, i knew he probably wouldn't do anything about it and that this probably wouldn't be considered slander anyways but even the mere possibility of another thing getting to my record cuts me to the bone. i mean, a lot of the teachers hate me already, do you guys just want to finish the job or something? anyways, i won't make it into any society because i exemplify anything but scholarship which nhil can attest to, also i stand for bad character, community terrorism over community service, and following others.
but seriously, since i've started going downhill i don't really care anymore. i think school can just suck my big toe. i think i need to finish up because i'm going to go study with some of the jerkfaces aka adnan even though they totally don't deserve me and they don't deserve my attention because i'm so pissed off right now.
wow, me and jason thai just decided that blankety blank has the vocabulary level of a toddler. what's an access point? what does coherent mean? and this girl is in nhs. if we picked a simple random sample of nhs kids, would this girl be representative of the whole? let's perform a t-test. or you could shoot me now.. and i mean NOW. i have abandoned all hope for a fatalistic view of the world. i have no hope, after all if look at the way i've changed. i was meant to be this way and i can't change that. i lost lots of friends and that was meant to be. i lost my sanity a while ago and i can't DO anything to get it back. this entry is sort of full of anger. little asian girl anger. you should be scared because according to 6-1-7 people should be scared of short girls because the one thing that they can hit is your balls. and that's true. don't anger the little bitter asian girl. maybe i'll mention hoffman and eric marnul so that they'll become faithful followers.. muahahaha.. hey hoffman!, can i buy you a fish sandwich?
and eric marnul you are a fob. an aryan fob, "close the lights" wow, that's just awful. how GHIL-like.
interesting thing happened today. edu bontkowski just comes up to tell me that someone likes me or did like me, and edu actually thought i cared. lol, if anything i don't care about any feel-good comments because i hate you all ragano. and then he proceeded to ask me who i liked and assumed that it was at first the fag who doesnt deserve a number and i almost punched edu in the face when he said that. then he mentioned Nhil which is dead wrong because he's ghil. then adnan, but adnan annoys me way too much. JP but yeah, adnan's burritas. maybe this sudden curiosity comes with the new Crush for your Crush campaign? if anything i'm going to buy a twenty four case of seven up cans and give them to my foes because i can then say "up yours!" in fact, i'm doing that. hey speaking of foes, nhil and chris are gonna try out for charelles. hey, i wonder if i bought a crush can for somebody, if i could keep it anonymous? but it wouldn't work because i'd crack up laughing or something because i cannot keep secrets for the life of me. accursed conscience. but yeah they want to try out for charrelles because they want to make tryouts as long as possible for monica.
monica, can I buy you a fish sandwich????
i think i'm also angry because i can't do something that i planned on doing tomorrow night? i remind myself of emily grierson because my "father" [basically my pastor] shields me from everything and that's what's making me so crazy? so maybe if i could live a normal life then i could be sane? maybe? and what's her face. i want to go to junior prom way more than senior prom. but i'd never be able to go this year because it will be hard enough to get permission to go to senior prom. unless, i lied. but that won't work because i just posted it up on this blasted website.
you know if anything goes wrong this is the way i feel about it.. nickelback: too bad
it's too bad it's too bad
too late, so wrong, so long
it's too bad we had no time to rewind
let's walk, let's talk
yes, my sentiments exactly. nothing can be changed. if i had any super power, i would choose the one that lets you go back in time because then you could correct all the wrongs you did but you're too prideful to fix it. or too spiteful.
for more insanity, visit the links to friends on the side because this site won't be up much longer. faggots.
wednesday, march 5th
dude, i swear i would have updated a lot earlier but i was reading willa cather's a sculptor's funeral and i fell asleep which pushed back my insane schedule a lot but at least if i update in less than forty minutes, i'll be able to have my cake and eat it too. hopefully, i'll finish and then i'll be able to allot myslef thirty minutes of thinking time before bed and i'll fall asleep nice and comfortably at ten o'clock.
well, we knew it would come down to this.. [BANG!] let the klepto races begin. i was being incredibly stupid and naive today when i was blatantly twirling the twice stolen pencil thing in front of chris and i forgot that he still wanted it. then he yoinked it from me and it became a thrice stolen pencil. then we declared war on each other but this war effort is quite futile for chris since there is no way to win. if we do not count his initial stealing from walmart, i stole it once, and he can only steal it back from me which only ties up the score. the only outcomes for him are either me winning, or ending it in a disgraceful tie. blasted joe meister and his morals. screw the morals! i want the pencil. i actually managed to get it back during lunch and j-lu got to witness another competitive side of me. chris eventually gave up and i won. i still have the tetrastolen pencil in my posession and it will stay at home because chris has secret agents trying to steal it from me.
j-lu said in gym, "my jaw hurts" maybe from talking too much???? ok, i'm just kidding, but that's why me and kayla were laughing at her. just wanted her to know. but yeah i decided to slack off in gym today. today was a weight training day. i only ran the three laps and did the triceps and crunches. i mean, if i do that lats and the military presses and stuff like that, i'll stunt my growth.. you know, cuz i'm gonna be a giant. also, mrs. johanneson won't be here for about a month and a half so that is a blessed blessed break. actually, i dont hate her or anything, it's just that sometimes you need a break from her voice.
when i went to get my wyse pre-excusal signed be seNor fernandez, i found out that he's just as forgetful as i am.
seNor: ok, you're going to be gone? [signs it] is this your pen?
me: i don't know, is it?
yeah, and sadly it wasn't. and i found a new shortcut through the science office and i had never been that deep inside of it before. i need to get a picture of tim's enlarged right nipple for this page which would make me, and tim both famous. but he's charging money for it.
i decided that i don't like what i've become and that i need a good cry.
sequence of events: have a good cry; wipe tears off face; face world with a demented smile; what a joke..
i hate the world and it hates me, or so i assume.
i don't blame them, if i were you guys, i'd pick me up bergo-style, and break me in two across the knee.
i assume that i've gone downhill in school. i'm doing badly in all of my classes, i just got a stats quiz and i got a 16/26. and wow, i even tied shasheen and taylor chafin gaby.. that is a new low. a low low. also, jon boulahanis schooled me, because i sucked it up and wow. just wow. maybe i could redeem myself through this test tomorrow. or maybe i'll just go to sleep and not care. option 2! option 2!
poll: does anyone else get migraines and dizzy in the hallways to the point of blacking out?
1. yes, and it's normal kids!
2. no, and that's not healthy but it's ok because i hate you
3. i just hate you
hey i think there should be a physics quiz off between the kulackers and keenanites just because. remember kids, before every keenan, there was a kulak. a man can't be born a genius right? and seriously, kulak is cool. he's not stupid. what other teacher takes our disses so well? and sets himself up so well for the disses? gotta love the kulacker. i'm proud to be a kulacker, who's with me?
i studied for math with jenny and wow, i had fun just guessing what kinds of problems will be on the test. i assume that the error approximation will be sin of .25 with an maximum error approximation of .001 and also with a base function of sin x centered around x=0. how do i know this? i know the way sullivan thinks.. eh, eh???? of course i do. and i find it fun just trying to guess.
i must go to bed soon or i'll lose precious thinking time.
wow. so i really want this one guy but i don't want to say who but i want to tease everyone and i'll just nickname him p c b o y because what can you gather from that? that he is a pollo cochinillo? maybe he goes to pcbangs? maybe he is in political club? maybe it is code for a fremd soccer boy? ok, he's just really interesting.
ever hear of heat transfer? something is happening that is really weird. human transfer, or so i assume. me and nhil are transferring traits and that is really scary. i'll SCARE YOU! but yeah, i think i need to lay off?
should i study for stats? blast, i do need a good grade. yes, i will. tomorrow. before school. after i take that spanish quiz in test makeup. by golly, i'll do it.
people at school should just lay off the dressing for school thing. i mean, it's more fun when we're all in disheveled pajamas right? and if everybody enjoys pajama day so much, why don't people just wear pajamas everyday? i have to talk in code now because of this thing that i'm doing friday night. i don't have to be at church friday because i'm gonna be at sectionals so that leaves the night open for something. hey steph and jenny! the code will be COCHINILLO! we're gonna go eat COCHINILLO! at the place in you know that RESTAURANT! that sells COCHINILLO! ok, code set, i think they'll understand.
i'll end with lyrics again so that i don't have to think? so i could go to bed and think?
she is MINE!
i only speak the truth. I Only Speak The Truth. I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH. I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH. I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH!
hey chamma chamma, hey chamma chamma @*%^!^*()&%@^*$(&)
kiss.. hand.. diamonds best friend..
kiss.. grand.. diamonds best friend..
ok, i didn't really know those indian lyrics but go brown people.
Adnan: do you want to know what i think about conant? I SEE BROWN PEOPLE!
tuesday, march 5th
the first day after september eleventh:
Aamir! i knew it was you!!!!!!!!!!
lol, ok i'm just kidding but those lines and more coming up. and that was courtesy of nirav, brendan, and others from monday.
guess what? syed sent out emails to everyone on crier about if they wanted to play in the student-faculty basketball game. i almost said yes just to imagine the sheer hilariousness of me on the basketball court in front of the entire student body, i mean look at THIS body. 5'0", an honorable height.. what am i talking about? anyways speaking of basketball, we played an actual game today in gym. all of a sudden those nonchalant-ers took a sudden interest in schooling four short asian girls and took pity and let us play five on three.
j-lu: what, do you need AP gym too? God, i'm tired
me: hey me too, i went to bed early, but you know when you go to bed early you sort of allot yourself a certain amount of time to just think before going to sleep?
j-lu: THINK? THINKKKKKKKKK? omg, what is that AP bedtime?
me: you know what? ---> (you) phhhhhhh (blow)
guess what happened today? little miss blankety blank, you know.. blankety blank.. she came up with this quote for me.
mr. jacobson: i got this little present in the mail.. Jury duty.
blankety blank: is that for us?????
me: hahahahahahahahahahaha
blankety blank: well, hey, some of us are eighteen, i thought..
anyways, i think i have to study today which ends my streak of eight consecutive school days of no work whatsoever, besides the fact that i always feel horribly horribly hurried while trying to finish all of my homework at school. i mean, it's kind of difficult without a study hall. wait, i think i want one next year. mr. williams won't give me early bird the blank. which brings to my attention this issue. someone implied that keith chernick resembles josh hartnett. which is ever so UNTRUE! no offense to him or anything, but no resemblance at all. please don't mock my visual and spatial intelligence. life has taken a nosedive. yes, isaac; a regular nosedive. i aadbohroer, after all i stand for ambivalent love. everything is one part love, and one part hate. yes kids. even just life. that is my philosophy for now, has't i become a nihilist? i rescind my vows to stay true to trancendentalism because it doesn't work. hey, i said something mean to nhil today and i'm sorry but i can't tell you i'm sorry to your face because i'm a stupid cat that is full of pride. which is a deadly sin and guess what? i found this reference of the unforgivable sin, what is that???? doesn't that just go against the whole doctrine that has been taught to me since i was born? i don't understand this concept but you know what, i dont care because i think i'm supposed to call melissa????? to study for government??
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
Everyone
That's why I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so
no those are not my own words just like everything else. no one can be a nonconformist, you are always conforming to something, and no one can be totally original as was revealed to me this week but guess what i'll just be a sheep. better yet a lamb [b a a] but you know what? you are lambs! lambs! and kurt warner from the rams spoke at willow creek on saturday and i didn't go but i had more fun sledding. i actually watched the superbowl and going into it, i didn't know anything besides the fact that the rams were supposed to win. you know time heals nothing but itself! and that is the truest aphorism i have ever heard. because you know what, as time goes by i'm still bitter. bitter about everything. but maybe i'm just an especially bitter person. people call me JJA and you know what? i'll JJA you! the less content the better. my life is an eternal rat race that just switches it up on me perpetually and i don't know what words i am spewing out right now but this just tends to happen a lot and i don't care because i feel like i want to be my own person but sometimes i'd just rather be accepted and just accept the station that fate has made me best fit for. but sometimes i want to change it around and pick out my OWN niche. and everything everything will not be just fine, everythin everything will not be all right unless i can find the exact balance. i'm getting tired of this and i will make a new version of this website during spring break.. the theme can be stream-of-consciousness? it will be blue and light blue or whatever just like a stream. i think but guess what i dont know html that well kids. i don't, contrary to popular belief and i just discovered the miniforum on michelle's page and i wanted to write on it but i don't know how to enter what i want to write but this just means that i have one more thing on my list of things to do and i need to get my wyse permission slip signed by seNor fernandez but i think every year we seem to be getting stupider. think of last last year, we had really smart people, the seniors that graduated were pretty smart and i think they were cool kids too, and all the academic clubs such as wyse and stuff have really gone downhill mainly because we're stupider. they've gone downhill since i got involved, curse me. ok don't. perpetual slips of the tongue. curses are freudian slips and they show everything that is built up inside your heart. the mouth is the stream that carries all the waste from the human cesspool known as the heart. i have no hope in the nobility and humanity of man and i think that we will blow ourselves up some day, which we will. and you know what will happen after that? we will be reincarnated and live our futile lives over and over again and that is a scary thought that everything just repeats itself over and over again and everything is in vain. if everything is in vain i'd just die because well, actually everything is just in vain. blast. must find rat poison just like emily grierson in a rose for emily and tell the pharmacist that well, don't tell the pharmacist anything and everyone can pity me. does anybody else like pity? i thrive on pity. in gym, this tall girl christina pities me and helps get to my locker which is ironically the top one of all the gym lockers. the mother of all lockers which i could probably ask to switch it with the tall girl but i hate being a bother. i hate being just some hindrance to people because i'd rather be a catalyst and i want more entropy. bring back entropy woman! chem kids? entrop of a solid. - - - -. entropy of a liquid ~~~~~~~. entropy of a gas :":";';';lp'!&*^!*!(*@#&*!&*(":":::";;;'. yes that's it. well, burritAS it's time to go and one more entry is finished and gone which commemorates one more day in this life. life goes by quick. waste it. oh yes, and i need to bring back the joan-ra. if hara means i will do, does joan-ra mean i will do joan? courtesy of bergo, and yes it was the highlight of my day yesterday so thats why its back today
monday, march 4th
dorothy parker the greatest philosopher alive: men seldom make passes, at girls who wear glasses..
sadly, this is true. i found this quote and i liked it a lot because man, it's the explanation of my love life.. lol.. ok stop. today was scholastic bowl regionals and i'm thinking to myself, why did i join? i mean, it's a losing team, and besides that.. i'm not very good. and next year without history buff brendan, we're doomed. i just wanted some more clubs and i just pointed to things and chose them and scholastic bowl was just chosen. oh well.
today me and j-lu tried to start a new trend in gym by walking clockwise. did you ever notice that everyone at school walks the upper track counterclockwise? well, we said heck diddly no and we turned around and we even had a following. ok, no. just zulekha. and we almost got tom the konk chowder boy. did you know what konk chowder means? because i didn't until jess explained to me and that's just gross. melissa and jessica remind me of each other so today i accidentally melded their names together and said hey MESS! MESS! and she wouldn't turn around. am i neil diamond or what?
i've been doing really badly in all my classes. blast. in government, i'm absolutely lost because i can't comprehend what the use is to cram my brain full of useless knowledge. but hey isn't that the meaning of school? in bc, i'm just doing horrible right now and i'm relying on the ap problems as extra credit and i did horrible on the last quiz. 73 percent, qualifies as a B! sweet.. just like the gillette curve. in physics i'm pretty cool, except the fact that i've been getting by on just programming things into my calculator. i havent learned anything since first semester ended. english is fine because rogers likes my writing and stats i have no clue what's going on. spanish es pan! un pedazo de pan! wait, torta!
which reminds me that i was a victim of racial profiling in rogers class today. all the asians come to this corner to commence with racial cleansing! lol no, we were just put into groups by hair color. man, that was awful, never have i heard so many racist comments in one period. not like i'm overly race conscious, if anything i hate all koreans including me. if anything, i like whites go aryans! ok, not like that but yeah soccer boys are hot. fremd soccer boys are doubly hot. carmencita wanted a separate page on my page.. i was going to make her a subpage but eh. nyah. she didn't write anything to put up today. guess what, this page has been classified as stream of consciousness because things click and they flow and according to caitlin, one can just imagine me talking animatedly at someone saying these exact words and just being me. ROGER'S aphorism of the day: man, this word sounds like dung. i'm glad i didn't grow up on a farm.
man, i think i ran out of material today? sorry loyal fans, it was inevitable
man, i'm getting chewed up for my "unoriginal underground" but on the bright side, this means i'm getting traffic. the friar was completely conceived in mine own head just a little bit late i guess. blasted friar kids. random college guy i never knew emails me and says that i need to prove mineself and mine humor to be on said friar and do i really need to prove myself?
i have a poll idea. email your answers to luv4yo07@msn.com Question: do i need to prove myself?
1. no, thine ideas are original and you have proven yourself many times in my presence
2. your page is crap, you are unoriginal, and joan-ra [i will do joan]
3. i am an original creator of the friar and stop messing with said underground paper because it is stupid
4. bring back the crier! [if you choose this option, you will be number 1 A on my FOE LIST! FOE LIST!]
5. don't waste my time.
ok, i will end with brak once again..
brak: brak on coffee
i dont like coffee, it makes me jittery
here's an impression of me on coffee.
I"VE HAD SOME COFFEE ABULAIORUIWYQWIHKLBVHIOQALOIUROQUIOWEUOQUOEURIOQWOUO
HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU"RE DOING BECAUSE I"VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE. I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!
dont drink too much coffee kids
hey did anyone watch cinderella last night? THEY MESSED UP A GOOD THING! it was CLASSIC i tell you CLASSIC! but this crap with the new voices and the new songs. i'm talking about cinderella two. but the voices sound like they're on crack [not that i condone being not high] and they replaced classic songs like so this is love with some britney spears pop-py rendition of "dreams come true" disney, you RUINER! hey anyways..
sing sweet nightingale
sing sweet nightingale
hi-i-i-i-gh a-bove me..
still not enough material. ok, i'll denounce something.. ok, i'll praise something. firefighters are the epitome of hotness. maybe they're fighting fire with FIRE eh eh? like that eh? except agin firefighters like mr. gross. men grow old as girls grow cold and we all lose our charms in the end. and to end finally!
jenny and nicole standing together: [nodding heads because they are the same person]
me [cutting in between them]: does this hurt? for me to splice a person like that?
oh yeah, eric snuck into school.. why would he want to do that? he came to pick up his yearbook but that was all a CHEAP CHEAP lie to sneak back into conant and fulfill his desire for a non-ghetto chicagoan edumacation. so to eric, kudos for your success, and thumbs down on your success! you ghetto ghetto man. i am just kidding, how is amundsen and that girl you told us about is now a model, except a weird one.
sunday, march 3rd
you know how you can tell if someone has had a great weekend? or a great day? or even a particularly crappy one? if they forget to update. and man, i had the greatest day yesterday. on friday night, dan s. says, "who wants to go sledding?" and i said everyone could come over to my house to go sledding at meineke. but, after church i went home and i checked michelle's page and she had written that they already hit meineke for the good snow on friday night i was like blasted schaumburg kids! oh well. it was planned that everyone would be at my house by about 10 am but everyone showed up around 12 and we headed out. it was me, dan, linda, other dan, lois, tim, sharon, steve, my brother, headhunter, so hyun, dave, and ho joon. (there dave, you get a mention) well, i dont know if everyone else had fun, but i did. when we hit up the slopes of meineke, we were up for a very big disappointment. it was sledded out! and also, when i was little, it seemed so big but when i went for the first time in forever yesterday, it was a minihill! i was like "who cut off the top of meineke?" but it ended up that it was always like that buy i grew. or so i assume.
after that disappointment, we went to linda's house because dan said there was a huge hill by there in palatine. we went to her house, and after wasting hours there, we headed out for the truly big hill. this hill is off of Quentin Road right by Fremd, but it's HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was the best hill in the history of all hills! man it was fun. too bad being on top of the hill felt like the arctic! me, dan s, and others left clothes and warm things back at my house so we were frozen solid! the hill was like 500 feet tall man! we had lots of fun, we had snow fights (earlier, but i forgot to mention it) and ho joon's such a baby. so is dave, always picking on my brother.
at dan and linda's house, they have this little vicious dog and it was locked up in a room because it's mean, and i had fun growling at it and being mean to it. i mean, i'm a cat person anyways right? jp. i should have been nicer. we had pizza, lots and lots of pizza. and we looked through fremd's yearbook and i must say.. ooh la la. soccer players rule. correction. fremd soccer players rule. and their school seemed really really fun. but the only thing i dont like about it is how gung-ho they are at everything. Conant only gives like half-effort to everything we do but Fremd, man they're leprechaun nazis!
when i got home, i watched madtv because i felt like it. and then i tried to read chapter two in government, but fell asleep. i woke up around 12:30 and i jumped into the shower because my hair was full of salty snow and it was gross. we had no shampoo so i washed it with my dad's head and shoulders, and guess what? it worked really well. it left no residue. hey kids! go for head and shoulders.
i went to church today and guess what the message was? wives submit to husbands blah blah blah blah blah. sorry, it's hard for me to swallow. i hate that message a lot. i believe that we're equal and different, but i hate it a lot when pastor john says things like "guys have that drive to be number one, they're really competitive while girls blah blah... and also, guys are better suited for leadership etc. etc." man that pisses me off because i know that i'm the most competitive person i know. out of all the GUYS i know, i'm still more competitive than them. and if anything, if anyone knows me they know that too. also, i think i'm suited for leadership, i know many girls that are well-suited for leadership. you know what? i'm not going to marry. blasted traditions. who says you have to marry? if i don't have a husband, i don't need to submit to him.
i have nothing else to say for now except that i'm feeling flustered because i have so much to do. i sat down yesterday and read cultural literacy packets, and now i feel so much more literate! thanks, hukt on fonix!
i have nothing else to say except that i will be reading six thirty page chapters in my government book and please, don't distract me. don't call, don't im, don't talk to the computer screen. be quiet as a mouse because i can't concentrate.
kyungsoo was back again. kyungsoo: hey mom, i'm home for dinner! at least that's what it seems like. once i go to college, i'm never coming back, let alone come back every weekend.
the fantasticks: they were you
when the moon was young
when the month was may
when the stage was hung
for my holiday
i saw shining lights
but i never knew
they were you
every secret prayer
every fancy free
everything i dared
for both you and me
all my wildest dreams
multiplied by two
they were you
franz schubert: heiden roslein
sah ein knab' ein roslein steh'n
roslein auf der heiden
war so jung und morgenschon
lief er schnell es nah su seh'n
sah's mit vielen freuden
roslein, rosleing, roslein roth
roslein auf den heiden
german is fun except they beat us in the medal count this year, nazis! just playing. but yeah, i hope it snows one more time this month so we can play again!
friday, march 1st
it has been brought to my attention that my last two updates have had wrong dates on them but i dont care and i'm too lazy to fix it. and to amy: yes i do care if you write about me because you're cool. to michelle: no, if anything, you are ten times better than miss blankety blank because i just know that. i JUST KNOW and if you were here, you'd know that too.
today was the most torturous day that i have ever been subject to go through in a long long time. and it wasn't even my foes who subjected this torture on me. they were my supposed friends! evil cruel keepaway. they were playing evil cruel keepaway. and they were always with the fingers and the jabbing and the poking and the touching. glayvin! and the stealing of the double thieveried pencil. it's already been twice thieveried. please, for pete's sake, cmon we all love pete, will you stop the pain and torture? hey hey! they all accused me of being incapable of evil. and i was so evil today. muahaha! you know how they played evil cruel keepaway? i played evil cruel i dont know where your twelve dollar stolen pencil is nhil game. he left it in the classroom even though he was going on and on about how much he treasured it and jenny found it and i stole it and he thought it was gone forever and he went back upstairs and then i revealed to everyone that i had it and they called me evil and i had fun with that title. evil. i could be aaliyah in that new movie "queen of the damned" because i was so evil. i'm proud of myself.
i have discovered the most wonderful, wonderful site. visit the world of aaron karo. this man is wonderful. brings so much insight into the world of young people of the college attendance age. this site may be a little profane with a little hint of spice here and there but read all of his ruminations issues because they are the most entertaining things in the whole wide world. anyways, is this what college life will truly be like? i mean, i've always been so sheltered so i automatically assume that i'll let loose. or so i assume, like i assumed i had mono when i was sick. anyways, this page is actually all about the delinquent non-nerdy college life that is so appealing to everyone right? i mean who wants to be one of those nodders or the non-stop note takers, or the BIG backpack people? (see aaron karo's page for future references on these types of people). the sad thing is, his page describes college life at my number one choice as a school. you'd think that the tougher a school is to get into, the more nerdy everyone will be and the less partying and drinking will go on. this page just crashes all my hopes and dreams of finding my place among my fellow members of collegiate society. DASHES my dreams. i mean, seriously, i dont ever want to hold the opinion that downing a couple cold ones and as fred so eloquently put it once "praying to the toilet gods" is the definition of fun in my life. if that is all life is, i want out. hey hey, this is a recent quote i had on my profile. (i said it)
Jefe 11: y C++?
joanie xp: i dont know, honestly, because i want to kill myself except pose it off as not a suicide
joanie xp: its ok, it's inevitable that we all die
joanie xp: just negligible how
and that is so true. that conversation ensued upon discovering that i am planning to take 6 ap's and one harper course. hey! i was pretty surprised when i counted too. i think i have to revise it now. i mean, who wants two ap science courses? i think i will drop.. eeny meeny miny mo. blast. i forgot which side i marked each class as. maybe i'll just forsake euro. thats right kids, i havent taken euro yet because i wanted to finish lcap as a junior. you know what? ap test registration begins on monday, kids! do you know how mad fast this year has gone by? pretty soon we'll be seniors and i'll have done everything i wanted to do in highschool. or not.. never once gone to a dance, never once done anything "bad", never once gone to an old abandoned factory warehouse for an underground concert, never once.. and the list goes on. but no bitterness here. this is why i am the way i am. this is what explains my mindset and passions. blast, my mindset and passions must be weak. WEAK SAUCE. seriously, i dont want to be a senior, because that means that just like we dont remember past classes, no one will remember us except each other. and we'll probably forget as we all go off on our separate ways. or as i go off on my separate way because i've determined that i never want to come back here again which is sad. everyone will probably end up at u of i because everyone does, and if i didnt have this determination, i would too. in fact, i bet if i even apply to u of i, i'll end up there indefinitely so i'm not even going to apply. man this is a depressing entry. i'm going to possibly never see kids that i've known since 1st grade! on that note, i love you all. except select people that will show up on my foe list.
oh yeah, kids. don't worry i'm not suicidal, what i said to jeffy poo was just for entertainment for myself like everything else i say. the whole reason why i lack reason in reasoning and talking etc. etc. is because i'm the most interesting person i know and i try to entertain myself as long as no one else can. of course i'd gladly fork the job over to someone had they great prowess in humoring people. but as of now, no one can humor me as long as i need to be humored. so that's why i say random things out loud and that's why i think out loud and all those things.
i've been looking back at all the past yearbooks and all of my pictures just pondering how good life has been. seriously, always at the time you think that you have it bad. but when you look back, you see the light in everything that happened. most things that happen are meant to be. i dont know if it's fate, or God or what but these events are meant to be. but if it's fate. I'LL KISMET YOU! and i know that some of the same people who went through the same things as i did, who i even hung out with a lot look back and think, man what a crappy time that was; but i look back and smile.
do you know what i really enjoy now? reading people's pages and profiles and such and such. especially isaac's profile because i'm on it. and i also like select quotes from there.
andy ha (man, i didnt think i'd ever mention him on this page because he changed. sadly, i cant say that i really know him anymore besides the fact that he actually knows my "secret screenname" and he doesn't im me): girls like boys who board
ko (john ko! for all you schaumburg kids): ko in the house!
those were the only quotes that were rated g. even mine, i consider that pg.
i hate change. if anything, i wish we could all choose one point in our lives where we were happy and at peace with the world and take a snapshot and never emerge from that point again. i hate change because people change. even me, and i hate that the most. especially college people. i try all the time to motivate a little friendly chat here and there, or even an email.. but that's all in vain. is that what i'll turn out like in college? just waiting for others to initiate contact and even when they do, ignore them completely? because high school kids are sooooo passe huh. yeah, i'd get pretty annoyed if some high school kids expected you to talk to them every once in a while too. i'd be too busy getting wasted off my bloody plumbum. right? or so i assume with a bunch of people. with the exception of fred because he hates getting wasted because he's very cool.
tune in next time to see how long joan's entry will be. obviously, she might have a hard time keeping up at this pace, writing so much with such little tiny handwriting.
will she slack off just like she does for government?
or will she entertain us voyeurs three once more?visit my past entries kids! or you'll be left in the dark about most things
thursday, february 28th
i stand for truth, beauty, freedom, and above all-- love. but i am also ambivalent to this elusive quality called love. well, thats how it goes for a lot of the children of the bohemian revolution so nyah! to you. i love getting references at michelle's site because it's good. also, i choose to not join any national dishonor society because instead of being a dishonor society member, i'd rather be one of the few, the tall, the proud: nhs rejects ok? thanks for the offer :) i just came home from the all stars scholastic bowl meet with brendan, even though i would never think that lowly me could rise up through the ranks to become a "semi good" scholastic bowl player. i mean, being my first year and all but hey, who likes useless knowledge? me! me! i got to play in the first and third round while brendan captainated the second and fourth. blasted "honorary" coach. he put me in the wrong rounds, all the math (especially the calculus questions) was in the second and fourth rounds. and fate is cruel and unusual because that is my area of specialty. also, i would have gotten 5 toss ups in the second round had i been in it. and one of the bonus questions was about JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. and i had ALL of those answers MEMORIZED LOCK STOCK AND BARREL! you know what? foes! all of you.. FOES.thats ok, cuz brendan attained his goal of answering two toss up questions. i applaud him. hey, school encourages us to know so many useless facts. in government we need to know that political action comittees are only allowed to donate at the most 5000 dollars to each candidate at each election and primaries and general elections are held as separate elections. it's like what the. i got to use the double thieveried pda pen today because bob had a palm pilot. that was so much fun, it was wretched.
anyways, yesterday was so much fun. we went to the meadows which is a home for mentally disabled adults and we played bingo with them. i realized that we should be really thankful of what we have, and never lose the childlike quality in each and everyone of us. nhilven was the man of the hour, losing his first kiss to one of the women from the home. he called out the bingo numbers and danced and pranced and whatnot. i got to manage the prize table and it was so much fun helping the people pick out prizes.
today, i decided i'll denounce little miss blankety blank. if somehow, which i highly doubt, she found her way onto this page, i'd feel bad if her name was out for all to see. she says useless things like, "what's government? what is a campaign?" useless! useless! how did she stay on the ap track if she does not know diddlycrap? that is whats wrong with the public school system today.
since we're behind in fizzix, we're learning electrostatics. i learned that i am very like the test charge. always small and always positive (never shall i be negative again. blast!)mrs. sullivan suggested in math today that the man named Taylor who discovered taylor polonomials and taylor series and the la grange remainder theorem is smarter than Keenan. we made her take that back.
nhil: you suck at life
joan: i'll suck up your life!
nhil: soul stealer!
i learned about the american way today. Jon Boulahanis demanded that i charge Taylor Chafin Gaby five dollars for xeroxing my government notes. me like amelican way. i have a joke.
the korean sweatshop worker went to the boss and asked, how come my paycheck is smaller this week than last week? the boss says, fluctuations the korean worker says fluc you amelicans too!
anyone remember that bohemian rhapsody song that we'd always sing in mr. bethurem's science class in junior high? galileo! galileo! figaro! magnifico! reminiscing..
we decided that mike ragano and josh celvi do not deserve names because they do not spell their names right. if you misspell your name, you do not deserve one. ragano spelled his ragno, and celvi spelled his selvi. therefore ragano is now 6-1-20, and josh is now 6-1-8. what does that mean? 6120 means 6:F 1:A 20:T ... fat. and 6:F 1:A 8:G ...618 means fag. i played a mean pencil trick on jeff today. but it was so so good. i held a pencil up to his cheek and said costas, costas. and he turned around really fast and it was funny.
Kulak is the most sadistic teacher i have ever met. he told us about this experiment that if you send electric currents through a fish tank, they'll all line up perpendicular to the charges because if they line up parallel, they'll feel the shock all the way from the brain to the tip of its fishy fishy tail. if they dont line up perpendicular, they'll die. And he calls himself a defender of the wildlife. my pishposh plumbum.
we learned about degrees of freedom in stats today. which reminded me that there are degrees of freedom on many levels. the statistics interpretation is the sample size minus one, or in two sample t-tests, the first sample size plus the second one minus 2. in real life, i think it means that we are never truly free of anything. there must always be limits because if one wants true freedom, true freedom breeds chaos in an imperfect world run over by imperfect men. however, it's how far they will allow officials to lord over them. accursed liberals. always talking about freedom when they don't know the true meaning of it. liberals are just too cool. they're like the underzealous rock stars that just walk around using their label as leverage with their peers. i mean, for a high school student, it's cool to be a liberal, or even a communist, socialist, or an anarchist. for a high school student, if you're a conservative, you're the equivalent of B96 music. B96 music!!!! bleeding heart liberals. not like thats bad, i hate that the only insult we can direct at them is "oh you care about your fellow man too much". it's morality over molality, kids. ok, i dont really hate liberals. i hate myself for not being one myself. i consider myself conservative on personal issues while on economic slash socioeconomic situations, i don't mind helping out my fellow man. however, if they have the perfect capability and had equal opportunity in the beginning and did not use their potential to the utmost, screw them. lazy wretches.
when substitute teachers go to teach a class, do they think being tough is cool? yo man, show them some tough love. it's not cool, it's so not cool that it's the inverse. toughness=1/coolness. the teacher insisted on silence, even when we were not doing anything, and he just insisted on shushing us if we even so much let out an eek. stupid tough love.
in destinos today, raquel rodriguez went to puerto rico. which she did not bring any suitcases to. she spent the whole episode in this skirt. but upon closer inspection.. it wasn't a skirt! it was a pants skirt! that was wrong on so many levels. and coupled with the shoulder pads. it was wrong on the highest level plane possible. caitlin tried to touch me today all during spanish. it was kinda freaky. today was the first day i had homework all this week. and it's not even real homework, it's just a math quiz. blast those taylor series and maclaurin or whatnot. i think physical education encourages not working. i mean, it's not "cool" to try in gym. if you give effort, you're ostracized. therefore, they should not call it gym anymore, they should call it ap gym and have every sport be so cutthroat that only the strongest survive. because i would definitely survive. i'm a survivor and if i had been in the book Maggie by Stephen Crane, i would have survived. cuz i'm vicious like that (see last entry). ok for tonight tata. i'll be berating heather hartman for not finding my splitsville song
wednesday, february 27th
i'm crazy, crazy i tell you! it's probably my excitement over having this website. i sit and take notes for christ's sake.. i got an honorable mention from an honorable site, see i wouldn't care if it was a crappy site like chris's with his secret hidden page that i will dig around for and try to find, it was michelle's! i follow her journal everyday anyways, yeah i confess, i stalk. i have to update quickly because jhenne obligated me to go to Bingo at the Meadows, we'll see where this goes.. and she obligated me to scholastic bowl regionals.. stupid clubs. take that NHS! if anything, being involved makes me more, not less bitter. today was Wyse and Sae, and now Council. take that! no, if anything dont take that. i just want to take this time to tell amy with her cool boring job at the Schaumburg library that i would really enjoy a Legolas or an Aragorn bookmark (lord of the rings for all you non fantasy fiction readers or moviegoers, though i think the majority of people would enjoy it, try it) is this page confusing to read? because jenny says that if she didn't know me i'd just be some random schizo out there. but she does know me.. she said that my mind is a scary thing to get inside of and i said no and she said yes and she said another thing and yeah. i couldn't be schizo anyways because i'm OCD. out of the many people in my circle of friends, about 5 are klepto's. chris and nhil and eric are the primary thieves, while stephanie and i are the secondary thieves. she has his asian bracelets, and i have his 12 dollar pen/pencil/pdapen. i must get a link to gary's page. if i get a link on gary's page, i'll attract COLLEGE visitors.. curses. must get college followers..
i have nobody to denounce today even though i threatened to denounce kristen. but instead i'll appraise. appraise the 2002 Winter Olympics that drew to a close on Sunday. blast those italians. it should be held in salt lake city every year cuz those mormons are just so kooky. this year's olympics were the first olympics i actually took time to follow. some people consider them a blatant shoe of American jingoism but i think it is quite the contrary. it's just something to make everyone feel all warm and tingly inside and feel like the world is working together and also to watch some great athletes. people think i have no respect for athletes, and only for mathletes like Einstein or something. If anything, i respect athletes more because i can't do that!
i think that the high points of this years olympics were:
1. Sarah Hughes's stunning upset, i know everyone wanted to watch Michelle win but think about it, how great was her performance. how perfect was that, cmon give credit where credit is due.
2. The many American medal winners in the luge, bobsled, and skeleton. the skeleton looks like great fun.
3. Apollo Anton Ohno. not only is his name fun, he is cute. stupid koreans. it's ok guys, i'm korean dont give me that shocked look. they were threatening to pull out like the russians, just following in the footsteps of those whiners makes them look bad. The skater obviously crosstracked and should have given the right of way to Apollo when he was in front of him. a little known fact of short track skating is that if someone is even one toelength in front of you, you must give right of way to them. Apollo got disqualified in one of the races for that too, so we play fair.
4. the relay short track race because it looks so fun. too bad we lost horribly. but still any sport where you get to push the next person is fun.
5. Bode Miller's victories in the GS and the slalom. first American to medal in those.
i think i'm leaving things out but as i think about it i'll add things in.
today i added in a foe list. not an enemies list, a FOE list because foe is so much more potent. the same meaning in less letters, therefore potent letters. you can expect to find nhil and j-lu. FOES! number one foes!
to nhil: if you say,"you suck at life" i'll say,"i'll suck up your life!" and you'll call me a soul-stealer and i'll call you a jockey so don't even try it.
to j-lu: if you if you motion,"get out of my face" i'll motion,"you suck" and i'll also motion, "you blow!" so don't even try it.
today was parent observation day and for some reason, this year my dad cared enough to follow me around. which many would say that wow, he probably hates me and thats why he did it. he followed me around for the first four periods gym, govt, math, and physics and i did him proud in gym lol. no, if anything he was ashamed of his weakling of a daughter because we were weightlifting and i benched 40. hey, but what i lack in strength (i can singlehandedly over power chris) i make up for in the field of viciousness. i mean have you seen me with the pink ball game? the tall girls are afraid of me in the pink ball game and i can stuff j-lu and rachel briese at the same time. if i'm too short to reach it, i take out the guys from the bottom by kicking their knees. vicious huh. Sarah Nolan is going to visit today. maybe i'll try to spruce it up. or maybe NOT. blast the meadows because if i wasn't obligated, i could stay at home and not to my homework for the third day in a row. we all know my schedule. i do all my homework at school, and when i'm at home i try to read government, which hasn't worked since second semester began. for all you govt kids out there, i'm still stuck on chapter two and i doubt i'll be getting out.
on a brighter note, physics has failed me once again! kulak couldn't produce the spark (yes you crazy schaumburg kids, we're behind you) from the piece of tape so it has failed us every day since the beginning of the year. since my dad was here at school during physics, i couldn't act crazy and spur the kids to vie for the coveted position of being the Kulak diss of the day Deliverer. i decided i'll award the winner of the most diss of the days for third quarter, one physics study session without killing shakira. because i assume the winner will be a male or melissa bosslet. hey guess what, the thespians are some crazy kids. i'm saying this in confidentiality but when they haze, they haze seriously. i would never want to be a thespian after hearing the cruel and unusual stories about initiation week. guess what, i label sachin, sachmo the book reader because he read the book and dominated the physics test. and i deem rich wang, wangy wang that crazy senior curve breaker. if we take out the top five people in our physics class, we'll all get a's and since wangy' wang is a track kid we'll push him down the stairs and he'll fall twice as fast according to nhil's errant logic. twice as fast is 2x9.8 is 19.6 meters per second and guess what as jenny likes to say, i'm done. but i'm not, i'm finished to be grammatically correct. i'll end on a note like i always do. a musical note! this is how i feel every day.
Default - Wasting My Time
well I don't want to see you waiting. i've already gone too far away. I still can't keep the day from ending. No more messed up reasons for me to stay.
Well this is not for real, Afraid to feel. I just hit the floor. Don't ask for more. I'm wasting my timex2
You can't stop the feeling. And there's no reason. Let's make the call. And take it all again
yes i am very mainstream, but at least i dont listen to crap music a la b96 anymore be happy at least for that all you emo kids if anything i like mellow music but if anything i am the opposite of emo, though i have glasses they are not black horn rimmed
tuesday, february 26th
a lot happened today. this site is both my blessing and my curse. because of this site i have a heightened awareness of what is going on around me in hopes that i would have a fairly entertaining entry but isaac and jenny informed me that people are lazy. and they dont want to read my totally coherent revelations (see last entry). well, it is isaac's birthday today and since he was in such a crappy mood yesterday, i'm going to have a tribute to him after i denounce corinne wood. in gov't today we were talking about the race in the primaries and little miss amanda simon brought up Corinne Wood.. God help Corinne Wood.. what is the point of her mudslinging campaign anyway? we all know that most of the voters who would even vote in the republican primary would be male since the trend is that females tend to vote more towards the democrats, and most males do think that abortion should be illegal in most cases, even extreme ones. yet poor Ms. Wood is still catering to the few female "republicans" that are out there while probably half of that population is only conservative because of their religious tradition, be it protestant or catholic. basically her efforts are in vain and if i see one of those stupid ad campaigns of hers on the air again, i'm going to break the tv screen. I'm excited, Jason Thai is going to visit the site solely to read my denunciation of Ms. Wood.. wonder if that'll do. my strategy is every day, i'll tell someone at school that i'm denouncing someone or something or other in order to get them to come here, and then they'll be hooked and maybe i'll have a loyal following. like Michelle! I want to mention my new religion called Thai-ism. The whole philosophy is designed to reduce stress because you know what? it's just life, we all get through it. and we're all professionals at what we do because we've been doing it our whole lives. and i'm a journalist so it'll be fine. don't stress about anything, it's sort of the equivalent to Kramer's "SERENITY NOW" except it works.
i didnt know my day to day life was so eventful. we were playing the game "Catch Phrase" in physics today and i tried to break it except not really, i was trying to see the next word but you just have to push the button! and i thought it was electronic but you don't even have to turn it on.. steph called me a moron for that. or was it a dork.. i dont know. she insults me all the time so i can't remember what she says. ya hear that steph? useless to insult me, i am half awake most times anyway. our class now has an official scoreboard on dissing kulak to go along with my stupidar which is the equivalent of a gaydar, only for stupid people. and then i had the most brilliant idea for this website. it's called the Kulak diss of the day, and being the deliverer of the Kulak diss of the day is the equivalent of winning the Olympic gold. I came up with this idea after Kulak said that like charges attract and unlike charges repel. cuz Kulak=Dumas like Alexander Dumas, except for pronounced dumb-a$_ you figure it out. so that is how the kulak diss of the day originated. hey guess what, i am now tiajuana, shorty doo wop, and three more terms.. imp, Jockey, and Sprite. like the simpsons..

"We are the jockey's the jockey's are we".
Homer: It must have been some awful dream
Jockey: No dream, Lose the race Fatty!
Wow. how awful.

How incoherent a la Nhil. But you have to admit his insults are quite funny.
Jefe: I got anally raped by that physics test.
Me: Man that physics test was easy
Nhil: YOU'RE EASY!

Me: You know what Nhil, just for that, You're number one on my hit list.
Nhil: I'LL LIST YOU! And I came up with my clever retort.. "I hate you ALL, RAGANO!"

must applaud jenny on her 34 on her ACT. there how's that for an incentive to read my page jenny! i wish i was taiwanese. because not only could i be Tiajuana, i could live up to the name to the fullest. because then i would be Tiajuana-ese.. ok that was made up by Lil Evil, sister to Shaka. She knows whats up. That's all for today but i cant wait til tomorrow to shock J-Lu again. hint: if you rub your hand across the gym bleachers and touch someone, they'll get a pleasant surprise. No, I lied, they'll get more of a rude awakening, but a rude awakening to long for. i don't know if that made sense.. but let's close with a lyric from

Splitsville: I'll Never Fall In Love Again

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again. x2
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again. x2
monday, february 25th
i surfed webpages. needless to say, mine was the most contentless and the most boring. i must spice it up but i hardly have the time or patience to format this whole webpage during the schoolyear. also too many people have found out about this page when i was originally planning for it to be a page for me to use profanities about everything that pisses me off in the world. blast the websurfers who found out about this page. even though i cannot curse in traditional curses, i can use my little women language. curses! i bombed the physics test. but one comfort was that i was in the huge blue pants that nicolei gave me for christmas. thanks nicolei. OH OH! i found a page that contains less content than mine! oh joy.. http://www.amb1.netfirms.com/right.html <-- that is andrew brode's page of fun which really isn't. in fact, it's worse than mine which is quite sad. i have a feeling that i don't like this layout anymore. i'm wondering if i actually get any hits. on another note, i don't think i want to call this page a bunch of incessant ramblings because that term is not original anymore, everyone calls themselves incessant ramblers. so now, my page consists of totally coherent, transcendent thoughts. yeah, whats the deal with this new naturalism unit? bring back the transcendence.. i totally didn't think that i'd be able to believe a philosophy that is very "unrealistic" but man, i rocked that class during that unit.. my transcendent self even pulled off the highest grade. in your face rogers, the bane of my existence and claggart of my life. ok so not really, in fact, i think he may like me now. but he was my claggart for the first part of the year because i assumed he didnt like me, like i always do. don't assume kids. and to end today's update, if you can even call it one, my new favorite song by incubus (yeah lilly, i'm white and proud of it)
whatever tomorrow brings
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself
How much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find
that I should be the one behind the wheel
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be
One of the hive will I choose water over wine
And hold my own and drive
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
That everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find
That when I drive myself my light is found
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Yeah whatever tomorrow brings
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there I'll be there
thursday, january 31st
so i decided to follow the crowd and launch my "own" site. so this will be my humble abode for now. i fear that along with my incessant posting on forums, chatting on aim, participating in aa.. this will be another bane on my academic/spiritual life. the light green reminds me of what my house used to look like. now its ugly, UGLY i tell you. the purple looks like grapes on the green vine. i dunno ramble ramble. expect few updates for now.
this site has been dubbed.
underconstruction
H O M E