When he walked into her bedroom, a father saw his daughter masturbating with the aid of a vibrator.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I'm 30 years old, fat, ugly and I've never even had a date. There's no way I'll ever get married so this electronic device is my substitute husband."

Several days later the daughter comes home from work and sees her dad sitting in a chair watching TV. He's got a beer in one hand and her vibrator in the other.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"Just having a beer with my son-in-law." he says.

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