The Pope was kidnaped by some Italian Terrorists, who told him that, in order to be released, he would have to be photographed screwing a 17-year-old girl. The terrorists figured that with this hanging over his head, the Pope would stop the church's campaign against terrorism.

The pontiff was outraged. But after the terrorists made it clear that he would be killed otherwise, he reluctantly agreed, but only on three conditions.

"One," the Holy Father said, "the young girl must be blindfolded so she cannot see what horrible thing is happening. Two, the girl must be wearing earplugs so she can't hear."

"All right," the leader of the terrorists said. "What's the third condition?"

The Pope replied, "The girl's got to have real big tits."

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