June 25 2003
Sitting here... in my room... wishing I was someplace else...

wanting home...

Tommorow, I go on the retreat to help out with the kids at jhs. hopefully get to see the plu friends. That would be fantastic.

Yeah so not that much. I auditioned for another show today. Good times.

Yep...
I'll talk more about my new acting class when I get the energy.

Not happening today.

Well... okay thats all for now.

Megs

June 25 2003
Well, I'm here at school waiting for class to start doing absolutely friggin nothing... and I'm bored. And I'm wearing cute glasses! yes friends, megs is wearing glasses. Not cause I need them simply because hey I look damn intellegent. And intellegence is always sexy.

Okay class starting in... 5? minutes... Now what am I going to do for the hour and a half I have between the end of this class and the starting of the next one? I have some food, and I have my cd player so I have company with me, but WHAT ELSE??? I guess I could work on my homework (snicker). Actually, sadly that will probably end up being the case.

Then later on, going over to the bank to get all this money crap straightened out. Then, back home for homework and working out. Gotta love it.

The boring life of me. Sorry groupies nothing terribly new or exciting about me today.

Megs

June 25 2003
YES for working out. i have been working out for the past two days and I feel so great. I mean, sore, but still great. And hey met yet ANOTHER guy online. I know, I know I need to stop. HOnestly, it's almost addicting... that mystery of not even knowing who you're talking to. Hey at least this time its only email... no worries, groupies I'm still pretty connected to you know who. Kinda cute, I say goodnight to him every night before I go to sleep, or else I don't sleep well. Well, I thought it was cute. screw you.

TOMMOROW: CLASSES! I've got an awesome class for my frosh inquiry, and an equally awesome new class I signed up for thats voice for actors. So thats exciting. Bad news though... I need a job. I'm broke. LIterally, all of my money is gone. So thats kinda sad, but I'll be happy to have a personable atmosphere contrary to my school.

Thats all folks. Keeping keeping on.

Megs

June 25 2003
Okay liz. you happy now?

well, today I made a decision... (tangent:notice how I almost always start my entries with "well" or "so"? I wish I had a better vocab for opening sentences) I decided that I am officially:

SINGLE AND LOOKING.

I hate how desperate that sounds, but its so true. I was talking with this guy online, and he said to me that he never really has been in a time when he was 'looking', which I believe is total bullshit. The question is more, when aren't you looking? Between our own hopes and dreams and those that are built up by society we are almost destined from the age of 12 to start looking for our life long partner. While I understand there is no "one" person out there, you have to wonder... there are all of those movies... and its not really the fact that since there are movies that are THERE. It's more the fact that these stories came from someplace. Some lucky few in this world had that Sleepless in Seattle ending, or Serendipity encounter. And you can't HELP but at least glance around for that. Maybe not INTENTLY looking, but come on... who wouldn't want that kind of ending?

SO, (once again, notice how I started this paragraph...) I have made the decision that I am OPEN and available. While my heart remains with one person at this time, who's to say I can't find another person out there? I guess it's more: SINGLE and ON THE PROWL. I am taking numbers, I am going out, I am on the hunt. Probably a good majority of that is because I have low self esteem and I'm incredibly lonely, so hey a good boyfriend at this godforsaken college wouldn't be a bad thing. Not even good... a boyfriend that's just OKAY so that there is a definete break up. Just kinda an experience to just learn from each other. I mean isn't that what its all about? Learning and sharing and creating yourself through the encounters of others as well as on your own?

Well I think so anyways....

I need a dictionary... or a thesaurus...


Single, and hungry for some fresh meat (no liz, not real meat... still a veggieterianie),
Megs

June 25 2003
Nothing new or exciting.... just school... and being lonely... and school... which reminds me I need to go take my meds... I'll be right back...


Okay I'm back... is this elipsis thing bothering you yet?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo I am so lonely! lalalalala lonely!

haha its a song...

La la la la la la la la laaa means, I'm FUCKING LONELY!!

Megs

June 25 2003
You know, family is great and it also sucks the big one. My dad is addicted to our new comcast digital cable. I never see him away from a screen of some sort. My brother, same deal except its video games. He's always buying new ones, and God knows how many times he's traded one system for another loosing I have no idea how much money in the process, constantly begging for more and being sassy as ever to everyone in the house. And my mom, is an emotional wreck. My dad treats her and the family like shit, and even told me so (that he never asked for what he wanted as a kid, so he's making up for it now) and she's tired of just being the maid of the house. She said that she feels like she doesn't belong here anymore and that she wants to run away because she's so lonely. None of her friends are here in Ptown, and she just got a new job with some really anti social people, and I'm no help since I'm such a bitch with my depression and stuff... I honestly am scared that someday I'll wake up and she won't be here anymore. And I can't deal with that. She's such a huge part of my life and I love her more than I could ever possibly say. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do when she dies...

Gina leaves tommorow. Trisha leaves tuesday. And then daniel leaves on like saturday. And then, it's just me. I'll be alone. Like always. With a bastard father, a jerk brother, and an emotionally unstable mother.

God, I have no idea what the hell you're doing. And I really wish I did because you're hurting me and a whole lot of other people here. Please... all I ask is that you fix something. Theater isn't going well, friends isn't going well, school isn't going well, boys aren't going well, family isn't going well, and I'm not doing too hot either. Just please God, fix something. Preferably my family because I love them so much...

Pray for my family. We all need it.

Megs

June 25 2003
YAY For rocky horror! I had a FRIGGEN blast last night with trish and gram (gram, come out of your shell more often! You're FRIGGEN AWESOME!). And then woke up and did some chores. And then, I did online research for colleges and I gotta tell ya, there are not so many out there that fit my buget and my parent's approval and my goals. My count is at one right now. NYU is out unless I get rich in the next month or so, same deal with Syracuse and Ithica... and Emerson... Otterbein isn't in NY and my parents would like it to be in NY if they're paying for it. So all I have right now that fits the bill, the goal, and the place is Marymount Manhattan College. I kinda feel limited to that, but hopefully other ideas will come up. Maybe mandy will have a few...

Anyways. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments section.

Megs

June 25 2003
Taking it all in
As I pray for my sin
Realizing there is no reason
We should be apart

Taking it all away
I hope you will stay
Knowing there will always be
A reason we're apart

I take the steps
Can't handle it's depths
I fall further and darker
Feeling we're apart

I swore I'd hold on
Find comfort in our song
A melody incomplete
While we're apart

A connection of souls
A part of you makes me whole
You promised you'd never forget
And I'll try not to loose heart...
Until we know nothing will tear us apart.

June 25 2003
Song: Megan2K

Got your call the other day
Bout how you were missing me.
Heard your call the other day
Said how you were missing me.

Someday you'll wake up and I'll be there
Just for a moment you'd see...

Saw you there across the room
You were staring straight back at me.
Give you anything you want
All that you want is me.

Cross coniental would be okay
Only if we get to stay...

Goodnight to you.
Goodnight to you.
To you.

Goodnight to you.
To you.

Know that I'll always come back for you.
Know in your heart that its true...

How creepily accurate is that???

Well... I guess I can only pray those last lines are accurate...

Megs

June 25 2003
YAY FOR SHOPPING! I bought some seriously sexy stuff. And I only spent... what... 13$? Okay, so I bought like 3 things, but still with the v-secret sale going on, all of those things would have been at least 3 times more expensive. So I'm all ready to get into a hot little number with a hot studly man, and go out and have a friggen blast. But alas, I have no man... and all my girlfriends have left or are leaving within the week. So, no girls night out either to show it off... *sigh* guess I'll just have to save it. But thats okay I'll be even more excited then!

Its kinda sad that I get so excited about shopping now adays, but I guess I've been wanting 'non granny panties' for quite a while, so I'm entitled.

And, I hate to say it, but this snow had better be gone by monday. I really don't want to miss any more school. And is there another winter blast coming?

AND! Because I love being random, here's a song, tell me what movie it's from:
----------------------------------------------------
Whatever you do
I"ll do it too
Show me everything and tell me how
It all means something and yet nothing to me
I can see there's so much to learn
It's all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
Oh I just know there's something bigger out there

I wanna know
Can you show me?
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more
Please show me
Somethings familiar about these strangers like me

Every gesture
Every move that she makes
Makes me feel like never before
Why do I have this growing need to be beside her?
Oo these emotions are ever new
Of some other world far beyond this place
Beyond the trees above the clouds
I see before me a new horizon

I wanna know
Can you show me?
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more
Please show me
Somethings familiar about these strangers like me

Come with me now to see my world
Where there's beauty beyond your dreams
Can you feel the things I feel,
Right now,
With you?
Take my hand
There's a world I need to know...

I wanna know
Can you show me?
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more
Please show me
Somethings familiar about these strangers like me


I wanna know...
--------------------------------------------------
Bonus points for those who know the composer and title of the song

Megs