Macavity

Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the Hidden Paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there
You may seek him in the basement
You may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again
Macavity's not there!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined in thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered
Then Macavity's not there!

He's outwardly respectable,
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found
In any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing or another Peke's been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken
And the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing
Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
Macavity wasn't there!

And they say that all the cats
Whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie
I might mention Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

Macavity's not there!
We have to find Old Deuteronomy...

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