well anyways lets seee... my feeelings for him are.. so effed up right now. now i have no idea what to do. a friend says that we shouldn't be together... another friend, if you like him still just tell him while you have the chance, and another friend says wait a while. i trust well two of them anyways. but i dunno if i should say it now or later. what if i'm too late. and wat if patience is the best thing? who knows? i sure don't. i don't know anything. i'm through a phase a friend says. maybe i am. i'm just infatuated. well maybe i am.. i'm so infatuated over you. i need you. i do... my heads been going hella crazy. i have no idea what to do anymore. everything is just all messed up right now. why am i like this. when i broke it off, it was suppose to be over. i don't feel like its over. i still care about him. i still LOVE him. what what shall i do. YOU KNOW WHAT... i've been listening to too much advice. this is was got me screwed up in the first place. i'm just gonna listen to my heart. and do what i feel like doing. its MY decision. if i mess it up, i do. but at least i have the satisfaction of messing it up.. that i messed up all on my own. and no one messed up my life for me. why does it just have to bee so difficult for me. why did i find his email long ago. maybe things would be so different now. its not like i regret being with him.. i enjoyed every moment of it. but i still wish i can still enjoy every moment with him. forever and ever. and my auntie says that there are other guys out there?! how will i know. maybe he's the guy. now i just have to prove to god, and myself that i can still have him. by doing this all on my own. its like a test. to prove if my love is there.. i will go after it. no regrets in the end. coz i did wat i did right? i will tell him. but i just gotta talk to him a bit more. then i will... yes. i will. no one can stop me from doing what i believe is right for me.