We Once Had: Keenan and Kel: Well I don't really think this was an amazing show to begin with, but I'll take a guy with a fetish for orange soda and a dude whose name is Keenan any day over...
What We Have Now: Drake and Josh: Okay, I don't know if these two are brothers, lovers, father and son, or have any relation at all, but the one thing I am sure about is that they have about as much comedic genius as a log. I mean they came from "The Amanda Show," the show where the actors consist of teenagers with IQs equal to their height. Not to mention the little kid...the one that was in School of Rock. Sure she's "cute" and "funny" now, but when she grows up she'll probably become another shitty TV show actor/pop diva like Hillary Duff...how I loathe her...
We Once Had: The Angry Beavers: Ahhh...now there's a show. Two beavers whose vocabulary consist of "Eh," "Spoot," and various other sounds constantly bickering over things in a hilarious fashion. Even the theme song is kinky...kinda Mexican.
What We Have Now: The Wild Thornberries: Meet Eliza Thornberry, the ugliest girl on the face of the planet. Two red pigtails, glasses, bags under the eyes, no pants, freckles, and braces. Gee, why don't you just strap the dildo on her and get it out of the way.
We Once Had: Rocko's Modern Life: A wallaby with an Australian accent and his best friends, a steer and a turtle. Neighbors that are frogs. Ask for more and I shall smack you upside the face with a leather belt.
What We Have Now: Rocket Power: Ughhh...an X-Gamer, a tomboy, a retard and a dork ("Squid"). What less could you ask for...not to mention the word "shoobies."
We Once Had: Doug: This show was awesome...cause it was truly laugh-at funny. Til they became syndicated on Nick and moved to Disney. Blegh.
What We Have Now: Chalkzone: This was originally an "Oh Yeah! Cartoon" if memory serves. It sucked then, why make a series out of it? The kid's name is Rudy for crying out loud. And finally...
We Once Had: Nick At Night: I'm not talking about this new Nick At Night that starts at 10 (I'm not counting the hour of Full House at 9 because it has the Olsen twins, whom I loathe), I'm talking about the old one, which had "I Love Lucy" and junk. And now we have the crapload of crap:
What We Have Now: U-Pick Live/Slime-Time Live: It must the latest fad to find the most obnoxious humans on Earth and give them their own little shindig. It's the same goddamn games over and over again, and how I HATE U-Pick Live. The kids who watch Nick are dumbasses...I think once it was a choice between Rocko, Beavers and Rocket Power. The dumbasses picked Rocket Power, and I killed each and every one of them.
Nickelodean sucks.