The Poetry Project 4

(incidentally, participants, you are inspiring me to keep it up. This one came hard to me today, and I think I may have to write a second to compensate... I see how this one can get better, but fuck it, I need to go to yoga)

3 AM-ish walking home and the Roman Senate disputes again.

The centres don't work in tandem these days.

What Lola wants, Lola gets.

Or is that Ani or Svad?

Not Ajna, dear Ajna, ruminating and neurotic, unpassioned.

Ajna is not consulted on these matters. Carnal matters.

There are benefits to being wild.

The freedom to, the freedom from.

I answer to no one and no one answers to me.

We don't bother with their names,

the people we only meet in their breathing,

strangers who hear me scream.

The people I love sleep,

or don't sleep at night,

but not with me either way.

Is it Ani or Lola that wants it this way?

Ajna makes the point, "It would be better if you aligned things."

Nobody asked you. I didn't make the Universe.

If I did, you could be King, Ajna, or Queen.

You could rule and all would be subservient.

Instead, you just keep me sober in the orgy,

sober in the trench, sober in Hades.

You peer out and take notes at how Svad justifies Lola and Ani.

Svad fixes first, deciding everything in seconds.

He tells me when to close my legs, to walk, to run,

then says, "Love brings only pain."

The others protest.

"I'm not wrong," says Svad. "Prove otherwise.

I tell you who you love right away so you don't even bother."

The others protest.

No one will go unless we believe there is love,

or that there is at least love for me.

I would rather die now than to lose hope,

Hope is all I have.

We hate Svad. We love Svad.

How does Svad know everything?

Why is Svad so hard to stomach?

Ani and Lola are evil bitches.

Ani, so romantic, dreamy, telling Chinese dragons to feed its longings.

Her friend Desire whispers to me, a mantra.

I don't want what I can't have.

Of course you can have anything if you want it badly enough.

Stop fucking and hold out.

Desire whispers to Lola, blows up into her and she cries.

Stop holding out and start fucking.

The fighting continues.

I'm not in alignment.