Canada
God that was embarrassing...damn locksmith had to cut the cuffs off with me sitting there with Ringo in my face...my ribs hurting...

BLAME CANADA!

Wow
Salvia is my new favorite midnight snack. That stuff made me dream stuff only a naked Indian and Robin Williams have thought up.

It even made me forget about victory for a few moments. Man that was crazy...now I gotta head to Kasakstock this weekend...time for bed. Later.

Hey Doc...
Muh ass hurrrrrrtssss

Go Cubs
Well, despite me becoming gooboy, being dragged out of Wrigley, and talking to a drunk bum, things went well with the announcing fill in.

Only three more days till muh match...!

Wonder if I'll be invited back to call a Cubs game...could they?

Ugh
Well, that was...interesting. I got depressed over a loss and performed a lobotomy on some poor guy...damn that was low. See what a retarded leprechaun can do to ya?

Crazy.

Finnigan Be Destroyed
On the plane to Denver right now...damn first class is great. The most fine sham-pon-yei.

Anyway, I saw Ashton at that commercial thing today. Bastard...he tells me what I should and shouldn't be. Jeez.

Tomorrow Finnigan and me fight...should be fun I guess. Still wondering if I should put a blowtorch under the ring and turning his ass crack into a vagina. I dunno...that may be pay per view stuff.

Lost
Ashton bailed on me. At a house show. I don't know what the hell happened...I guess I wasn't the great psycho-neurotic machine he wanted me to be. Whatever...I've survived this shit on my own before...time to do it again. Bastard.

New York, New York
Got a date this week to do Conan O'Brien again. Should be fun...haven't been on there in a couple years. I just hope Conan doesn't ask me for the SPF 2 Million sunblock again...man that was embarrasing.

Guess I can take in the sights while I'm there too...nothin like New York. Just hope Ashton doesn't get me to do something really, really screwed up again.

Gotta go back to the airport already...off to New York.

Leavin on a Jet Plane
Me and Ashter are on the plane back home. It was a good match...I had a couple bad bumps, but I'll be fine. At least I won...that's always the most important. Ashton is trying to make me a machine...he can't make me what I'm not. I want to win, but sometimes he drives me crazy and I go into these...these...attacks. I can't describe them...my head feels like the burroughs of hell, but I feel so relieved for just a moment. I guess I forgot how tough it was to do this shit.

I guess I got Finnigan in a couple weeks. King Of Pain...funny name. I want to be hardcore, but instead I get hit in the head with a baking pan...guess I should put a bag of nails under the ring and bring a hammer with me...maybe I'll crucify an opponent down to the mat. Maybe Ashton would get off my back and we could see some real hardcore shit go down. But only in a dream I guess.

At least Wicked Clown got to be hardcore tonight.