Plastered News

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HOME	Plastered News --We report, you shut up. 3/12/06 - The long awaited site update has arrived. Thanks to all who came out on Friday for a very late show. Next, we're looking to write more new music, and probably play another show in a couple months. Next time we'll have a definite time slot and a more appropriate lineup. Here are today's updates: Turns out Bryan brought a lot of people to the show...but they all left early to go to their gay and shemale orgy back at the house. Danielle is hardcore. Much Respect. Probably the most accurate version of Layna ever. But it just doesn't fit. Johnny Cash says: "Don't take your guns to town, Holly." Norman is cool. At Anclote Elementary, we say no to drugs..but apparently Shaft Johnson says yes to pancakes. The weekend is over and still no one knows why she was walking like that. Sammer says: "Sometimes you gotta freshen up." ..Amen, brother. This line is not funny. Stop reading it. Ha! Too late! You've already read the whole thing. What a waste of time. You just never know what's gonna come out of the mouth of Curtis Blow. Soon, a vital organ will be removed from a good friend. Prayers for a junior mint from above. Those can be very refreshing. Rick is manly. He lifts heavy things. Jimmy Legs has a new side project entitled: "I will cut you if you don't add Plastered Everywhere to your myspace friends and leave some comments." Shaft Johnson always maintains an open window policy. The race is on to finally decide which Kyle is cooler..looks like Kyle has a "leg up" on the competition..but Kyle's girlfriend sure is easy on the eyes. Vote for your favorite Kyle TODAY! And the Honorable Mention goes to......J-Dawg and Megan for some good old-fashioned ex bashing. The tension mounts. And the cat fights will be aplenty. See ya next "week" 1/1/06 - Why a "news" page? I'll tell you why. So you can stay up to date with useless information, gossip, inside jokes, and other stuff you shouldn't care about. So why are you reading it? Because it's on the internet, that's why. Here are today's updates: Happy New Year - After nursing your hangover, remember that this the dawning of new opportunities to screw up the things that really matter. In the spirit of new beginnings, Curtis, Jimmy, and Shaft have begun spending more quality time in the shed writing new material that they plan to share with you soon. Jimmy was truly missed at the party. Way to have responsibilities, Legs. Certain band members and certain friends agree that certain ladies who haven't been around in a while are still very hot, and still very unattainable. Capt. Hygiene says: "Used condoms are not trophies. Keeping them in plastic bags as such is nothing less than disgusting." Overtime karaoke is truly awesome. This is what Wednesdays were intended for. Sometimes a game of acey-deucey can cause an abrupt increase in the homeless population. Please don't bet pot. Shaft IS single. YES. HOW COULD IT BE CLEARER? Only really cool people add Plastered Everywhere on MySpace. Everyone else sucks. Do you really want to suck? Curtis's increasing memory lapses are causing concern as to whether drug use really is safe.. Shaft Johnson is really glad to have met up with some old friends: "I've forgotten how much those people really rocked. I hope we stay in touch this time." *Mr. Tampon says: "If you've got me in you, intercourse is really out of the question..you twisted psycho." This is a preview of what these little news blurbs are all about. Next time around, we're ballsin' it up a notch. Be careful what you say; this is gonna get ugly.. Have some news you want posted? Share it with us	Music
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