Ch. 10 Give Me 20
Joel almost dropped the phone but somehow he pushed the talk button and held it to his ear.
“Joel?” Benji asked barely above a whisper.
“Y- Yeah.” He stuttered back.
There was a silence as Joel found a bench and sat down. Benji breathed and quietly asked, “Can you come over? I ……I wanna talk.”
Joel’s breaths were ragged and shallow but he managed to whisper “Y- yeah. Give me 20.”
“K.” Benji said, “Bye.”
Joel was silent a second, “Bye.” He hit the End button and slid the phone in his pocket.
Ch. 11 Don’t Call, I’ll Call You
Joel was shaking uncontrollably standing on the doorstep of his house. He was actually confused whether or not to ring the doorbell or just walk in. But he knew in his mind that this was just a way to stall. How was he even going to look at Benji?
He finally managed to somehow knock quietly on the door. He stepped back and closed his eyes feeling nauseous.
Benji opened the door slowly a long squeak coming from its rusty hinges. Joel opened his eyes but he didn’t want to see. He looked at Benji’s feet and waited.
Benji moved to the side and held the door open for Joel. Joel willed his feet to move and hold him and stepped in the house. He looked around, it was clean. Benji never really kept the house clean.
Good job mind think of anything but what happened.
He sat down on the couch and looked down, memories flooded his mind.
Joel stood up quickly startling Benji who had just sat down in the armchair. Joel shook his head, “I can’t sit.” He rubbed his eyes and his forehead. “I need a smoke.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ever-lessening pack. He fumbled around in his pocket for his lighter. Remembering he threw it away he stepped into the kitchen and rummaged around in the drawers finally settling on the stove as a good lighter.
He stepped back into the living room where Benji was and leaned against the wall. He took a few drags then finally looked over at Benji.
Benji was sitting in the chair just watching Joel with a sad look on his face. Their eyes caught and Joel had to look away- he still felt disgusted.
“Well if you’re not gonna talk about this then I will.” Benji started, his voice low and trying hard to remain calm and level. “I’m so sorry Joel. I don’t know what came over me. Well I do. We were all so drunk. And…..” he closed his eyes and scrunched up his face like he was gonna cry.
“No Benj, don’t you dare cry.” Joel said anger in his voice.
Benji took a breath and tried to continue, “If I had known that I could lose you over that, I never would have done it. I’ve lost you. Its like you don’t want to be around me anymore.”
Joel stood up, “Well why do you think that is? I was touched in a way that I never should be. And I was drunk out of my mind. Benj you took advantage of me.”
Benji looked into his twins face and cowered back from the anger shown. He looked down, “I…….I’m so sorry. Why can’t we just forget about it? Blame it on the alcohol? Why can’t we just forget?”
“Forget! I can’t forget because I think you actually liked it!” Joel yelled. “And you know it.”
“Yeah so what if I did? Huh? What are you going to do about it? Are you just gonna never speak to me again. Joel I know you can’t do that. You miss me I know you do.” Benji stood and yelled back in Joel’s face.
“But Benji you’re my brother. My twin brother. Its disgusting. I cant even look at you right now.” Joel said turning and going into the kitchen.
Benji followed after him, “Look I said I was sorry. I’ll never do it again. I’m sorry. Joel I can’t lose you forever because of one little drunken incident.”
“Little? I think this is far from little.” Joel yelled loud enough to wake the dead.
Joel paced around the small kitchen. He finally stopped, “I can’t………I need to think. Benj I’ll see you in a few days. Don’t call, I’ll call you.” He said and walked out the door.