Platinum Rings, Picture Frames and Red Duvet Covers


Ch. 27 Dreaded Déjà Vu

Julie woke up the next day in the hospital again. She tried to sit up but her back hurt so bad. Her mother came over, “Julie you’re awake. How do you feel?” Julie groaned, “Like crap. What happened?” Her mother didn’t know about the accident but went into Julie’s injuries. She had fractured her lower arm, jarred her back, and had cuts and scraped all over. Julie looked down and she had a huge black and blue mark across her chest- probably from the seatbelt. Her mother was a nervous wreck and was pacing all over her room. Her father came in and they spoke for a while. Joel and Billy came to her room and knocked on the door. Her dad let them in and they introduced themselves. “Hi, I'm Billy.” “Joel,” Joel said as he shook her dad’s hand. Her dad asked, “So you were in the car too?” Joel nodded and told them about going to RaceCity and coming home. “They said that the car hit ice and there was no way for me to correct it- I was driving.” Her mom was still very freaked out and Billy and Joel hugged Julie lightly. Julie wished her mother would leave the room. Joel and Billy sat besides Julie and her parents sat down too.

“So what are your injuries?” Julie asked them. Billy had bruises and a concussion; Joel had sprained his wrist and dislocated his shoulder and he had hurt his leg- he had a little limp. Joel said Paul had a concussion also and had sprained his ankle. “I guess whoever was sitting behind me on my side of the car got worse- well we hit the wall.” Julie’s mom started freaking out more and Julie noticed he hadn’t said anything about Benji. Julie looked at her dad, “Why don’t you and mom go get some coffee. I'm not going anywhere, I’ll be right here.” They left and Joel sat on the bed, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to be back here for a long time.” Julie sighed then said, “You didn’t tell me how Benji was.” “He fractured his leg,” Joel said. Joel had told Billy about how Benji and Julie had gotten in another fight. Julie looked down and said quietly, “He hasn’t had a relapse of last time we were here has he?” Joel shook his head, “No, but he’s sulking around again.” Julie nodded then looked down again.

Just as Julie opened her mouth to say something Ashley busted into the room. “Omg, Julie! I came as fast as I could. How are you?” She said as she hugged Julie. Julie smiled, “I hurt but I'm okay. Oh Ashley, this is Joel.” Ashley smiled and shook Joel’s hand. “And this is Billy,” Julie continued. Ashley turned and stopped. She stared into the deep blue that are Billy’s eyes. He stared right back at her. Joel looked at Julie and smirked. Ashley noticed she had been staring and held out her hand, “Hi, I'm Ashley.” Billy reached up and slowly shook it, letting his big strong guitarist hand linger in hers. They locked eyes and smiled at each other. After a silent minute Joel cleared his throat, “Ugh, ugh, why don’t we go check on Paul?” Ashley turned and blushed, “Sure.” Julie’s parents came back into the room as Ashley replied. They said that they had to go and said goodbye. Julie was happy her parents left.

Joel stood up and helped Julie stand. Her back hurt her so much. She grimaced as she took a step. Joel stopped her, “Does it feel better to sit?” Julie shook her head, “No. My arm hurts too. Ashley, help me get something on.” She said noticing the thin material of the hospital gown. Billy and Joel went to wait outside, not before Ashley and Billy exchanged smiles. When the door shut, “You like Biiiilly!” Ashley blushed and nodded, “I think I do. Would he ever go for me?” Julie smiled, “Yes, go for it!” Julie put her shirt back on and carefully shimmied into her jeans. It just hurt so much to move.

Outside the door, “You like Ashleeeey!” Joel smiled. Billy blushed and nodded, “I think I do. Would she ever go for me?” Joel laughed, “From the looks of it, yes. Go for it. In fact, when they come back out ask her if she wants to go get coffee or something.” Billy smiled, “Do I look alright?” Joel laughed, “Yeah, dude.” The girls came out and Billy smiled. “Hey Ashley, do you want to go get some coffee with me?” he blushed looking in her eyes. She nodded and he took her hand. They started down the hall and Ashley turned and smiled at Julie and Joel. They smiled and Joel turned to Julie, “Are you sure you’re okay enough to walk?” Julie nodded, “I'm starting to feel better now that I'm moving.”

They started walking down the corridor but Julie stopped after about 10 feet. “We don’t have to go so fast,” Joel said as he noticed her pain. She nodded and waited until the new brought pain subsided. They slowly continued down the corridor towards the room that Paul was in. He looked up and smiled as they walked in the door. Julie put the pain aside as Paul shakily stood on his good foot and lightly hugged her. “Hey, so what did you get?” he lightheartedly laughed. “I broke my arm and my back hurts like a mother,” she replied. “Some birthday present huh?” Joel sighed. Paul shrugged, “Yeah but I guess we’ll just get really good at Xbox.” They laughed and Paul asked, “So- how’s Benji?” His question was directed more at how Julie and Benji were than about Benji’s injury. Julie shrugged and looked away. Joel shrugged and answered, “Benj fractured his leg.” Paul had to act like it was the first time he heard the news, “Oh that’s good. Well its not good- I mean I was worried that someone couldn’t play or anything like that.” Joel nodded, “Jules, do ya wanna go see Benji?” Julie looked at Joel, “Umm- yeah. You know what, I do.” Paul added, “Can I come too. You’ll just have to walk slow.” Julie smiled, “Yeah I can barely walk so its okay.”

They slowly walked the three doors to where Benji was. Julie paused, “God, is this not déjà vu?” Joel nodded, “Ready?” Julie took a breath and nodded. Paul opened the door and hobbled in on his crutches. Paul had needed to stay in the hospital because he had a pretty serious concussion and Benji was still waiting for his cast to be set on his leg. Joel and Billy were already released but had nowhere to go without the others. Benji was sitting up in the bed with a guitar in his hands lightly strumming out some melody. He looked up when he noticed the door had opened. He smiled, “One of the nurses found it,” he said motioning to the guitar. Joel smiled and looked at Julie then at Paul, “Hey Paul- I'm hungry. Let’s go get some chow.” Paul looked at Julie and she nodded. Joel helped Julie sit down in a chair by Benji’s bed and then they left.

Benji set the guitar down hitting his foot in the process. “Ouch, mother-“ he mumbled. Julie smiled and tried to get comfy. Benji sighed, “So um- how are you feeling?” “My back hurts bad and I broke my arm,” she said holding up her cast. He nodded, “I feel your pain- but in my leg.” Julie smiled and grimaced again as she sat back. Benji noticed and said, “Would it feel better to sit up here? It’s more cushy.” She shrugged her shoulders then frowned at the pain. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” Julie sighed as she slowly stood up then sat on the end of the bed. He handed her a pillow and she put it behind her back. He half smiled and looked off into the ceiling, “I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to come back here.” “Yeah but this time it’s all of us,” she added. Benji nodded. It was quiet for a minute before he spoke again, “I uhh. I'm sorry I got so angry.” Julie shook her head, “No. I. It’s just. I really. I need. I don’t. There’s.” she stuttered then shook her head. “Ugh, I. Okay, I know how I feel but I don’t know how to say it,” she said looking down at her hands. Benji whispered quietly, “Just say what’s on your mind- don’t hold anything back.” Julie nodded still looking down. She was about to open her mouth when the doctor knocked and walked in. Benji hung his head annoyed. “We need to set your cast now,” the doctor announced. Benji sighed, “You can’t do it later?” The doctor huffed, “No, Mr. Madden. We have a tight schedule-,” he trailed off offensively. Benji waved his arms, “Okay. Okay, Geeze. Whatever happened to being nice?” Benji was put in a wheelchair and he looked at Julie, “Don’t forget anything- I’ll be back in a minute.” She nodded and halted Benji, “I’m gonna write it down- it’ll be easier.” Benji nodded and half smiled. She half smiled too and slowly stood.


Ch. 28 Letter To You

Joel and Paul came back as Benji was pushed out the door. They helped Julie back to her room and got her a piece of paper. She sat on the bed and wrote Benji a note as Paul and Joel went back to Paul’s room. When she had finished she called Joel and he came back to her room. He took the note to Benji- who was still waiting for the doctor.

He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for whatever. He really had no idea what he was about to read. He was scared. His heart was racing and his body numb. The doctor came in and started to put the cast on. Benji ignored him and started to read.

“Benji,

I hope I can make some kind of sense as I write this. I have been so confused over the last few weeks and it has only gotten worse. I know one thing for sure- I love you.

Benji paused and smiled to himself then mumbled aloud, “That’s good right?” The doctor looked up but Benji continued to read.

I have never stopped loving you. I was so angry when I found out but I didn’t believe you would do it. I never believed it until I heard it from your mouth. I know you were drunk but it pains me to think that maybe I wasn’t good enough for you. I keep thinking that I wasn’t (for lack of a better way to put it) pleasing you enough even though you always seemed happy when we were together. It made me think that I might have done something wrong. But I was so confused because we always shared everything. Everything. You know I would give everything for you. After we talked I went to your bedroom. That damn red duvet reminded me of us. I saw our picture on the nightstand and all the memories came too. We had shared so much and it seemed like it was over. And I'm scared that there will never be a Julie and Benji again.

Benji started to cry and had to hold the paper away to guard the tears from smearing her words.

When you tried to- my god I don’t even want to write it. It hurt me so much to see you in that much pain and sadness. Half of my being wanted to take you back and forget everything but the other half wouldn’t allow it. I know this is hard to read but Benji you hurt me so much. I saw how much you wanted me back and how much you admitted you needed me but I'm a bitch and it still hurt so much. I'm so torn. So I wanted to try and start things off slow again. I was so happy to see you allowing yourself to smile and laugh. We were so worried about you. That first night back was wonderful. You reminded me why I loved you; all your goofy little ways, the funny way you act when we’re alone, your sweetness. Benji everything about you. I thought maybe we could make it work again. Then yesterday when we were at RaceCity everything was going good. When we sat on that wall and I looked in your eyes I wanted to kiss you back. But then all the facts came back to me. I thought, ‘What if he does this again? Was it really a mistake? How can I trust him?’ And my mind just couldn’t let you hurt me like this again. When we were on the way home I was angry. I was trying to block you from my mind. I blacked out as we hit the wall but then I came to again. I saw everyone- Billy, Joel and Paul- but I couldn’t find you. I was so scared. I thought I could have lost you again. I was scared that the last things I had said to you were so filled with anger. I looked into your eyes and knew you still loved me. At least I hoped. Benji, I'm stuck in conflict between my heart and mind. I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully able to forgive you or forget about it but I can’t live without you in my life. But I want you to know that if it ever happens again it will break me in two. I didn’t mean to make that sound like a threat. But I hope you realize that. I don’t know where we go from here. I honestly don’t. We need to figure things out. But I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will.

Julie”

Benji folded the paper up and dropped it in his lap. He tried to stop the tears but they resisted. The doctor stupidly said, “We’ll be done in a minute,” thinking Benji was crying about his leg. The doctor finished and Benji was placed in a wheelchair and taken back to his room. Joel was waiting and he had already gotten all of Benji’s things. Benji looked at his brother and began to cry again. Joel went up to him and Benji sobbed, “She still loves me. I'm such a god damned bastard but she still loves me.” Joel nodded and let a few tears escape before he sighed, “Let’s go home.” As Joel was helping Benji out to the car where everyone was waiting he stopped. “Jules is going to stay with us for a while because she cant take care of herself and doesn’t want to be with her parents. Is that okay?” Benji nodded but couldn’t speak. Benji was helped into the van that Steve had gotten them to replace the smashed up car. Paul was behind him, Joel next to him, Billy was driving and Julie was in the front seat. She turned to look at Benji and they locked eyes. Neither of them said anything. The car hit a bump and Julie winced in Paul with Billy quickly apologizing for the road. She looked at Benji again before she turned back around and got comfortable.


Next- Ch. 29 and 30
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