2 – Waiting
I sit down on the couch next to Benji as he takes the headphones off.
He smiles at me and I smile back. The silence is back as I just stare at him.
He puts up with it for about 30 seconds before, “What’s up?” he asks nibbling on his bottom lip.
My eyes drop to his lips and I shrug as I look back up to his eyes. Those deep brown eyes- always the death of my control.
I lick my lips. Okay I have to tell him I know. But how?
“What were you thinking about? I saw you and you looked deep in thought.” Okay it’s a start- right?
He smiles and pauses like he’s thinking out his words before he says them, maybe he’ll confess before I do. “I was listening to one of our songs and remembering why I wrote it.”
I nod. Okay, which song?
Before I can ask he continues, “About the person it was about. How they wouldn’t tell me how they felt and I was left in the dark- waiting. And how I was thinking I should just give it up- but my heart wouldn’t let me. So here I am, back waiting again.”
I stare at him dumbfounded. His eyes falling on his hands. I look at his face and I cant read it.
A wave of doubt swarms me- what if its not me he’s talking about and I'm wrong? What if? I look away and shake my head. When I look back up at him he looks away quickly.
So it is me? Damn, why am I so confused. Because I don’t know who he loves!
“So you want that person to tell you how they feel?”
“Is that too much to ask of someone?” he frowns but keeps his eyes on the floor.
My heart is ripping- seeing him in pain that I might be causing.
“Even a little sign from this person would mean the world to me.” he says with a sad smile on his face.
I know Benji; he wouldn’t tell this to me if it were about me. He hates talking directly to people. Another fact supporting that it’s not me.
“Benj, Billayy! We brought you lunch,” Joel’s voice rings through the bus.
I look over to Benji as he stands.
“I’m sorry, I….didn’t mean to put that on you.” Benji offers with a small smile.
I nod and stand next to him. I smile and he smiles back then turns to open the door.
“Just one sign,” he whispers as he shakes his head opening the door.