Pairing: Benji/Billy
Rating: NC-17
Dated: July 14, 2003
Summary: Billy's been reading too much and needs Benji to help him
rediscover the man beneath the pink eyeshadow.
Thank You to everyone who answered my question of what they
thought about Billy. Sorry if the ending is a little crude ;).
disclaimer: Graphic male/male sex. Not Real. Never Happened.
PURE SMUTTY FICTION!
Man Enough For Me
I walked up the stairs to my bedroom intending to get my cell phone, opening the door quietly and stopping when Billy wasn't in the bed where I thought he would be. I looked towards the bathroom and paused, my vision getting caught on the lanky man standing naked in front of the mirror.
He ran a hand over his shoulder watching himself in the mirror and then trailed a thin finger down his chest. With the pads of his fingers he traced the muscles in his stomach and then down over his hip, his hands falling next to his thighs. He frowned into the mirror and gave a groan, muttering something under his breath. Why does he look so distressed?
I sighed quietly and shut the door rather loudly, acting as if I hadn't been watching him. I saw him jump slightly out of the corner of my eye as I moved over to the nightstand to pick up my phone. He stepped out of the bathroom wrapping up in a towel and smiled before leaning in and kissing me quickly. "Why didn't you wake me when you got up?" he asked and I smiled, reaching up and brushing a strand of damp hair off his forehead, "You looked so tired last night." He nodded and turned to his closet, flipping hurriedly through the hanging clothes giving another grumble. I wondered if I had done something to make him upset. Said something or done something? But I had no idea what it could have been. I walked over to him and kissed his neck, his movements stopping as my lips slid over his. He pulled away and smiled asking what that was for; I shrugged and smiled not giving him an answer.
"So what are we doing today?" he asked as I sat on the bed and watched him pull on boxers, his shoulder and back muscles contracting underneath his skin.
"Well, Joel and I were meeting up for MADE shit, you coming with?"
He shrugged, "I don't really feel like going out today, so nah."
"Do you want me to stay here? Joel could…"
"No," he cut me off, "it's alright…"
and twenty minutes later he was almost pushing me out the door.
=-=
"What's wrong? You look confused," Joel asked as I hung up the phone and bit my nail.
"Billy," I said, "the house line has been busy and his cell is off. Hmm…" I wondered what he could be doing and if he was alright.
*two hours later*
"Lo?"
"Hey Billy, I've been trying to call all day. What's up?"
"Oh nothing," he sighed leaving me wondering.
"Oh, well what have you been up to?" I ask again.
"You know, talking to people, playing some video games, surfing the internet, nothing much."
That would explain the phone being busy, "Aw, sounds like fun. Hey, I should be home in like an hour- want me to pick up something for us to eat?"
"No, I already ate." He says with finality in his voice.
"Oh okay, well then I'll be home in like an hour," I say.
“Okay, see ya then. Bye." He hangs up. That's unlike Billy, he usually hates eating alone- unless he's not alone.
No he wouldn't do anything like that…right?
No, now I'm jumping to conclusions. I'll just have to wait and see.
*an hour later*
I walk up the steps to the house and put my key in the lock and turn, opening the door. The lights downstairs are off so I creep up the stairs slowly and open the door to our bedroom.
There he is- the covers around his hips, a relaxed white t-shirt on, curled up and sleeping. He must just not be feeling well tonight. I walk across the room to turn off the small table lamp and glance over at him just before clicking the switch over.
He's been crying.
I leave the light and creep over to the bed, sitting next to Billy and studying his features.
His eyes are red and his cheeks splashed with color from wiping his eyes, the color blurred across his arm also. His eyeliner and shadow are those colors, the marks angry and pained.
I push his hair from his cheeks and over the color. I place my hand on his arm and say his name softly, adding a shake and repeating when I get no response.
His eyes open and he squints up at me before rubbing his eyes with his palms. He turns and looks towards the clock then asks, "What time is it?"
I answer with, "Eight," and he sighs. "You've been crying," I say and rub my hand lightly over his arm. He rolls over onto his stomach and grumbles something into the pillow. I rub his back and ask him what is wrong; his only answer is another grumble.
"Well if you won't tell me what's wrong at least let me help you wash your makeup off," I say softly rubbing his back comfortingly. "It's got to be burning your eyes."
He sits up slowly and nods slightly, my hand slipping into his. I slip my arm around his waist and lead him to the bathroom and grab a cloth. I wet it with our makeup remover and slide it under his eyes. I whisper, "Close?" and his eyes slip shut. I softy trace over his eyelids, getting the remaining tint. I take it off his arm next and smile at him.
"What's wrong, babe?" I ask again.
"Nothing," he says quickly mumbling.
"You don't want to tell me?"
He sighs and rolls his eyes slightly, "No," getting agitated.
I nod, "Okay, if you don't want to tell me then I can't help you. Want to go back to sleep or go watch some TV?"
He sighs shrugging and crossing his arms then throwing them up, "It's just…"
I wait but he doesn't finish, "Just what?"
He shakes his head, "Nothing…just that…I dunno, nothing."
"You sure?" I ask and he nods. I take his hand and lead him back to the bed. He sits down pulling his socks up after I pull back the covers for him. I step over towards the closet and take my hoodie off, watching him out of the corner of my eye. He's sitting with his head down and his hands wringing together restlessly. I take off my shirt and belt and he looks towards the desk.
He looks back over at me and sighs, "Benji?"
"Hmm?"
"Well, something is bothering me…" he says shrugging. I ask what it is and he looks up at me with sad eyes, "People talk about me."
"Who?" I ask and he stands up walking over to his laptop and opening the screen. He points to the chair and I sit down reading the first thing I see.
"The Amazing X-Cam," I read, "Are we buying a webcam? Ooo can I watch it? Will you put on a show for me-"
"NO!" he says annoyed, "We are NOT buying a webcam!" He closes the popup and scrolls down one of the pages opened. He points again, "Read those! They're all comments about me!"
I look up at him standing beside me, his arms crossed over his chest and a frustrated pouty look on his face. I smile at him shortly before turning back to the screen. There's a picture of Billy at the top of the screen- I'm guessing someone posted it. I read the first comment out loud, "Wow, he is so pretty." I turn to Billy, "That's not bad!"
He sighs and shakes his head, "No, keep reading. And you don't have to do it out loud."
I nod and go back to reading. "He's so frail," I keep reading my eyes scanning over the comments going down the page. Adjectives like "tiny" "adorable" "geeky" "ballsy" and many more fill the page. Most of them are nice from what I see.
I look back up at Billy and ask, "I still don't understand."
He rolls his eyes, "Read the last few comments."
I mutter an okay and scroll down the page settling my eyes on the third comment up from the bottom. "He's too fucking beautiful to be a boy…" "Give him a dress and you have an instant girl…" "Your average gangly boy…" "He's such a pretty girl…" I look back at him, "It's only a few comments…"
He points to the screen, "They called me a girl! And that's not the only page- there's posts and posts talking about how feminine I am, how goofy I looked, how ugly I am."
I frown, "But Billy, that's hardly what anyone has said." He shakes his head and pouts. I grab his hand and pull him down into my lap. He holds back but finally settles against me, that pout still gracing his lips. "Now, tell me what's really wrong."
He huffs, "That! They say things about me! They talk about my voice, my hair, my body, how thin I am, the way I walk, the way I move when I play guitar, how gay I am, how I'm "obviously fucking boys", how I'm "too pretty to be a boy", how my makeup is too heavy or too good…"
"Billy," I say stopping him before he gets even more worked up. He makes a muted groaning noise and buries his head in my neck. "Billy, that's not all they said ya know."
"Well you don't have to rub it in," he says indignantly sitting up and giving me a serious look.
"No, that's not what I meant. Now look here," I say scrolling back through the comments and reading. "Look what this person wrote 'Damn, his lips- I just wanna make out with him…' and this 'he has the most amazing eyes' which I might add- both are very true. Your eyes are gorgeous and those lips are perfect." I smile and he looks at me; his face softening a little, opening up to what I'm saying. "And here look what this person put 'intelligent…creative…graceful…genuine…dedicated' and this is only from the you they see in public. Babe, you're all those things and more." He shakes his head and looks down at his hands in his lap. I sigh, "And I didn't even read this 'Sex on legs' and this one 'one of the most gorgeous things I've ever laid my eyes on'!"
He blushes and shakes his head, "But there's a ton of pages…"
"Billy, these people don't even know you. Trust me- as your band mate, friend," I pull him a bit closer, "lover- you are beautiful."
"But I want to be…masculine…manly," he says softly and I frown.
"Oh but you are," my hand runs down his chest and rests right below his navel. "I know you're a man. And what's manly? Scratching in public and belching and killing bugs then hey, you're manly. So you wanna feel masculine?" He nods his head and I smirk, "Anything I can do to help?" He blushes and a smile tugs at his lips.
I lightly rub my hand across his lower stomach and kiss him. I can feel him smile against my lips and his arms wrap around my shoulders. I slide my tongue along his lip ring, a giggle escaping his lips. Oops babe that wasn't very masculine- but I won't say anything.
His fingers tug at the back of my hair as our tongues slip over each other. I move my hands under his shirt and up his back, pulling the shirt up too. Our kiss is broken and he just leans against me. His back is warm with that light silkiness left from his shower this morning. He groans breathlessly, his cheek rested against mine as my hands slide to the front of his chest now- my thumbs pressing against his nipples. I slide my palms up his chest and over his shoulders, coming back down my palms grazing his nipples again. I pull his shirt up and off, his smile greeting me when it's over his head and across the room.
I grin and kiss him again my fingers splaying over his shoulder blades. One of his hands rest on my neck whereas the other is slowly slipping towards my lap. I groan when his hand starts to move, gentle touches as my finger grip at his sides. I love the way his skin feels beneath my hands. His touching is persistent but gentle, teasing, smooth.
I hate to say it but he is feminine, if only I could make him feel masculine- even just for tonight.
I groan again and move my lips to his neck and across his shoulder. Coming back up to his ear, I grab his hand and whisper, "No, tonight it's all about you."
He smiles against my skin and laughs a little, nodding his head and exhaling, "bed," into my ear before standing up. I smile as I watch him walk over to the bed and sit down. He leans back onto his hands and raises and eyebrow at me. I can't help but want him, the way his boxers hang just right and his legs spread slightly- waiting for me. I grin and get up stopping in front of him and taking my black jeans off tossing them across the room, his eyes watching my body.
I smirk as I kneel on the carpet in front of him and lean forward, his hands slipping behind my head and his lips meeting mine. My hands slide over his hips and my fingers dance inside the elastic of his boxers. I break our kiss and listen to him breathing as I kiss his collarbone. His pale skin pulled taut over the bone. My mouth falls to his stomach and I kiss him there, his scent clinging to his skin. Pheromones and soap, my favorite smell.
I breathe in deeply and smile as I look up at him. He's staring down at me- a smile forming when our eyes meet. I slip my fingers inside his boxers again and slowly pull them down, his hips lifting slightly and a blush I always know is there when he's completely naked creeps onto his face. I know without looking.
I kiss him on the lips, his tongue barely touching mine as my hands slip up his thighs and grip his hips again. He leans back onto his hands as I pull his lap towards the edge of the bed. I roll my thumbs over his warm skin as I lean down and it's all in slow motion.
His hand grips onto my shoulder and a quick gasp falls from his lips as my mouth closes around him. His long slender fingers twist in my hair and he moans in the quiet room, eyes falling shut.
My mouth slips down his shaft and the back of my tongue slides along the tip, eliciting another delicious moan. I start to speed up my mouth, sliding it rapidly up and down and applying just the right amount of suction.
Billy's breathing speeds up too and he moans, "ooh, Benji…god" I look up at him and see his eyes squeezed shut and his brows furrowed, his head tilted back slightly and feel his palm flexing of the back of my head.
I suck quickly a little bit longer before I slow and drag my lip piercings along the bottom of his cock. He groans as I let the metal dip along that ridge near the head before plunging my mouth down again and repeating, this time giving even more attention to the sensitive areas on the underside of his dick.
His hips buck upwards slightly and his thighs tremble as I continue to work my tongue on him. His fingers leave my hair to make a fist and pound lightly on my shoulder as he moans, "fuck benj…lemmefuckyounow." His words come out in a breathy moan and I smile around his cock, sucking a little more before backing off and sitting up. He bites his lip and grips my biceps pulling my body up with all his strength. I land over his body and he moans as my hips rest against his. His kisses are fevered and rough, my lips mirroring his and kissing back. He flips us over and grinds his hips against mine, his hands sliding over my body.
He sits back and pulls my boxers off, tossing them over his shoulder carelessly and grinning as he reaches for the lube sitting on the nightstand. He hands it to me and I smirk, popping the cap and squeezing a bit into my hand. I sit up and run my hand down his shaft, he moans lowly as he bites the side of his lip.
I pump his cock a few times before he grabs my wrist and gives me a smirk. I pull my hand away and he glances down at himself, "Not so much," he says as he wipes some of the lube off himself and onto my dick.
"Why not?" I ask as he wipes a little more off.
He stops and looks me in the eyes, "Cuz I want to feel you…"
Oh yeah that made me about 10 times harder. I nod dumbly and toss the tube on the floor. He pushes me back down on the bed with a kiss and lifts my hips up slightly.
I watch his face as he slides into me, his eyes closing and an "ooo" slipping from his pursed lips. I moan and fight to keep my eyes open as they want to roll back from the fucking sweet pleasure.
He pauses and looks up at me, those blue eyes searching my reactions. He starts slow, a gentle rocking before he leans forward and let's my body have it.
His hair hangs in his face, swaying back and forth as he thrusts. I moan and he braces his hands on the bed beside my arms, his hips pounding against my thighs.
It's like he's trying to tell off all the people that said he was girly- on my body. And fuck, I am not complaining. I move my hips back against his and I can tell he's close.
He speeds up and I fight my moans only to lose as he goes deeper and harder. He bites his lip again and breathes in short audible puffs, his arms shaking as his body strains.
He arches his back and airy "ahh…ahh…ahhh"s escape with every thrust.
I wanted him to come first but I can't hold out any longer. I grip onto his shoulders and push my hips up to meet his. His hand wraps around cock and he jerks quickly as I moan and my body goes rigid, his mouth opening in a silent moan followed by "oh…shit". He thrusts hard into my body as I shudder and writhe beneath him.
One last thrust and he comes, a long loud moan filling our darkened bedroom.
When his body finally relaxes he pulls out and lowers himself onto my chest, burying his face in my shoulder. A short stream of laughter falls from his lips and his arms wrap around me.
"God I love being gay…even if I do get called "feminine”,” he says and I smile and laugh along with him and he murmurs just before falling asleep, "if I was a real man I could fuck you up the ass like that…"
=-=
the end.
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