• 4 Years Of Age - My Mommy can do anything;
• 8 Years Of Age - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
• 12 Years Of Age - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
• 14 Years Of Age - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either
• 16 Years Of Age - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned
• 18 Years Of Age - That old woman? She's way out of date
• 25 Years Of Age - Well, she might know a little bit about it
• 35 Years Of Age - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion
• 45 Years Of Age - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
• 65 Years Of Age - Wish I could talk it over with Mom
  - Author Unknown

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

• You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they are equal.
• You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
• You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
• Your child throws up and you catch it.
• Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.
• You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
• You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.
• Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office and you do it.
• You hire a baby sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
• You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
• You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
• You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.
• You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.
• You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."
• You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
• You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."
• You say at least once a day "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.
  - Unknown

"My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents [the adults had to pay]."
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"No matter how old a mother is she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement."
- Florida Scott-Maxwell

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"