"But my sweat is girl sweat," I said playfully, still trying to push him away. But he was way too strong for me. He picked me up and I squealed in excitement. He started to twirl me around.
"Josh! Stop... I might throw up," I said giggling.
"You won us the game, Erin! You didn't tell me you were that good," he said as he finally stopped twirling me. He put me down. I kept on giggling.
"You never asked," I replied. I stopped giggling when I noticed him looking at me intensely. The rest of the world seemed to fade away as I looked into his eyes.
"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked in a whisper.
"Doing what?" he asked softly.
"Making everything fade away just by looking at me..." I answered softly.
"Hey, guys, don't you think we should get going back to the hotel to freshen up?" Justin's voice broke through.
Josh and I broke apart. Camille and Karly came running over to me.
"You play better than Justin..." Karly joked. I saw Justin give Karly a look. "Just kidding, baby... you play good," Karly said as she walked over to him.
Josh walked away and I wanted to follow him but Camille stopped me.
"So, Erin... tell me, what's with you and JC? You two seem comfy with one another?" she asked with a smile.
"There's nothing to tell. We're just friends," I answered.
"Sure, sure," she replied.
"Camille, baby, come over here," Lance said. Camille smiled.
"Talk to ya later, Erin," she said just before she ran over to Lance, jumping into his arms kissing him.
I smiled sadly wishing I had love. I walked over to the stands and sat down. I thought back to the time I first showed my ex-boyfriend one of my poems. That was the first time he got abusive and it definitely wasn't the last. I thought then that I was in love.
~* Flashback *~
"Erin, where are you?" I heard him yell from downstairs. I was busy upstairs in the study room, writing.
"I'm in the study room, sweetie," I shouted back.
I heard him stomping up the stairs. The door flew open. I jumped slightly startled by the noise.
"Hey, baby, I wanna show you something," I said sweetly. He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I could smell the alcohol on him. I showed him my poem.
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever read," he slurred. I sat there in shock. "This is what you've been doing all day?" he yelled. Tears sprang to my eyes. "You should have been cooking my dinner!" He was getting angrier.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to..." I started to say.
"You just wanted to be lazy!" he shouted. I looked up at him, extremely hurt.
Tears fell from my eyes. His eyes showed no emotion. I was about to say something else but his hand came up and slapped me hard across the face. I fell out of my chair with a cry and a thud. I brought my hand to my reddening cheek. The tears continued to fall.
"You're worthless... you really are," he spat. He stared down at me with a cold, hard stare.
~* End Flashback *~
I continued to stare off into space. A few stray tears fell from my eyes.
"Erin?" I heard Josh whisper. I wiped my tears away and faced Josh who was now sitting next to me.
"Here," he said as he gave me my notebook with his pen.
"Thanks," I said quietly holding the notebook close.
"You OK?" he asked softly.
"I'm fine," I replied in a whisper.
"You changed your clothes," I said, gesturing to the sweat pants and t-shirt he was now wearing.
"Yeah. I always have a change of clothes with me when I play b-ball," he explained. "And plus I don't wanna get stinky," he joked with a smile.
I laughed a little. I was about to say that he smelt really good... but I was only gonna embarrass myself.
"Here, I brought you a drink," he said giving me a bottle of water.
"Thanks, Josh. I really needed this," I said placing my book in my lap along with the pen. I opened the bottle and gulped it all down.
"That's SO much better," I said as I threw the now empty bottle in the trash can.
"Good shot," Josh said. I smiled.
"I read a poem just a few minutes ago... I'm guessing it's about your ex-boyfriend," he said as he took the book from my lap grabbing the pen and giving it to me. He opened up the book and found the page. I sighed.
"I wrote it awhile back," I replied as I took the book back and looked at the page. He's always gotta read the ones that hit very close to home. I read the poem.
Someday
Some day I won't hurt so bad
I won't cry; I won't feel so sad.
Some day I'll mean it when I smile
I won't think of him for a while.
Some day I won't miss so much
I won't have feelings for him in a rush.
Some day my love for him will be a memory
Treasured and loved like precious ivory.
Some day I won't hate his mean ways
Some day I won't hope that he pays.
Some day, I won't love him like I do now.
I felt tears sting my eyes. Too many emotions where running through me. I dropped the book on my lap and placed my hands over my face and I started to cry.
"Oh, Erin. I'm sorry," I heard Josh whisper.
I removed my hands from my face just before his arms went around me. I placed my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. I continued to cry, and he stroked my hair. I felt so comforted by his embrace. I sniffled and looked up at him. His crystal blue eyes shone with concern and sadness.
"You gonna be OK?" he asked me softly.
I nodded my head. I pulled away from his warm embrace remembering where I was. I wiped the tears from my face. I looked over to see the guys crowding around someone. I saw Camille pull the person away from the guys. She and the mystery girl came walking over to Josh and I. The girl had brown eyes and brown hair.
"Hey, JC. How are you? It's been awhile," the girl asked.
"I'm good," he answered with a smile. She looked at me.
"Erin, this is Tori, my best friend and Chris' girlfriend," Camille introduced us. I extended my hand as she did and we shook.
"It's nice to meet you," Tori said politely.
"Likewise," I said taking my hand back.
"Tori! Baby, come over here. You and me gotta catch up," Chris yelled from across the arena.
"Talk to ya later," Tori said before running over to Chris.
"So Erin... are you ready for today?" Camille asked.
I looked up at her, confused.
"What's today?" I asked. She was about to say something, but Josh jumped up from where he was sitting and placed his hand over her mouth.
"She has nothing to say. Nothing. Today is just a day. Nothing special," he said nervously. Is he hiding something? I could hear Camille mumble something against Josh's hand.
"Now, you go run along. I'm sure Lance wants you or something," he said as he removed his hand and pushed her in Lance's direction.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Nothing," he answered with a grin. I felt something over my eyes and it went dark. I started to get scared.
"What's going on?" I asked again, in a shaky voice.
"Don't be scared, Erin. I'm right here," Josh whispered as he picked me up.
"My book," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"It's ok. Karly's got it," he replied.
Next thing I knew we were back in a car. I heard nothing but the engine. I don't know how long we were in the car for as we stopped.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"You'll see," I heard Josh whisper. I got helped out of the car and I heard doors shut.
"Do we take the blindfold off now?" I heard Justin ask.
"Yeah. Let's take it off," Josh answered. The blindfold slowly fell from my eyes. I stood there, with my mouth hanging open. DISNEY WORLD!!!
"OH MY GOD!!" I exclaimed happily. I looked around at everyone and they were all smiling.
"How did you know?" I asked looking directly at Josh.
"It's in your notebook. At the back. Your dreams page," he answered smiling brightly.
I felt tears come to my eyes. But I willed myself not to cry. Josh took my hand and we all made our way in.
The rest of the day we spent on rides and just having a lot of fun. I stuffed myself full of food. I couldn't have been happier. Josh had made one of my dreams come true. A trip to Disneyworld. In the late of the afternoon we decided to head back.
"Why don't you guys head back to the hotel? I gotta take Erin back to her apartment to get her stuff," Josh explained to the guys.
"Yeah, ok. We'll see ya later," Justin said. The group made their way back to the SUV and went on their way.
"Let's go," Josh said, taking my hand. Lonnie was waiting for us in a small car.
We got in and were on our way. We traveled in silence to my apartment. I gave Lonnie directions and we got there safely. I got there and remembered I didn't bring my key. But I didn't need it. The door was open.
"I'll go first," Lonnie said as he slowly opened the door. He walked in.
"You guys can come in," Lonnie shouted.
I walked in first looking around the room. Stuff was thrown around all over the place. Oh, god! He knows where I live. I ran into the bedroom. Thank god. The room wasn't touched.
"Hey, Erin. Need some help?" Josh offered walking into the room.
"Sure. Thanks," I said quietly. I got my suitcase and a small bag from the wardrobe.
"Just throw whatever you find in those drawers into the bag," I told Josh giving him the bag.
"Ok," he said, taking it. He walked over to the table and started to do what I asked him to.
I opened the suitcase. I took my clothes from the wardrobe and threw them in my suitcase. I had few possessions. Just clothes and some pictures. Some toiletries also in my wardrobe. And of course a small box with my notebooks in it. I filled my suitcase up and closed it. Once I got everything out of the wardrobe and came across something I thought I got rid of. A picture of my ex-boyfriend and I. I was actually smiling and so was he. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt anger rise in me. I clutched the framed picture in my hand.
"Bastard," I whispered angrily to the picture. "How could you do this to me? I hate you!" I said loudly. "I HATE YOU!!" I screamed throwing the picture across the room. It smashed against the wall and fell to the ground. Lonnie came running in but Josh told him everything was ok. He left, taking the bag and suitcase with him. Tears built up in my eyes and fell down my cheeks.
"I hate you," I whispered again. My legs gave way and I fell to the floor. I started to sob. Josh came over to me and held me in his arms.
"Shh..." he whispered. "I'm not gonna let him hurt you anymore... I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you anymore," he continued.
I wrapped my arms around him, sobbing loudly. I had to let it all out. All the pain. The anger. I felt safe with his strong arms around me. I heard Lonnie come back in and get the other two boxes of stuff.
"I'll be waitin' in the car," he said softly.
"Ok, thanks man," Josh thanked him. After a few minutes I was tired of crying.
"You ready to go back to the hotel?" he asked me as I pulled away from his embrace. I nodded. I wiped my face to dry the tears. Josh stood up and offered his hand, which I gladly accepted. We walked hand in hand out of the apartment building, climbing into the car and driving back to the hotel. We got out of the car and got my bags, Lonnie taking my suitcase and bag. Josh took my boxes. We went through the back entrance again and made it up to Josh's hotel room.
"Ok. I'll see you both in the morning," Lonnie said with a small yawn, placing my stuff down on the bed and Josh put my boxes on the bed also.
" 'Night," I said softly with a smile.
"I'll walk out with ya, man. I'll be right back, Erin," Josh said walking away.
I sighed heavily. I gotta take a shower. I went through my bag and found my underwear. I then went through my suitcase and found my favorite pajamas. They were baby blue with light yellow flowers on them.
I had my shower, and then dried off, reaching for my pajamas, smiling. My best friend had brought me them a few years ago. I lost contact with her after I started to date my ex. I pulled them on.
After I was finished in the bathroom, I walked outside and felt so much better. Josh was sitting on the bed with his pajamas in hand. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Have a nice shower?" he asked.
"Yeah. The best one I've ever had," I answered smiling back.
"Well, I'm gonna have a shower now. Feel free to do whatever you want," he said standing up.
He walked into bathroom and shut the door. I gotta find a way to thank him. I saw my notebook and his pen on the bed and I got an idea. I'll write him a poem. Josh had moved my stuff and placed it neatly in the corner. I sat on the bed taking the notebook and pen in hand and got comfortable on the bed. I opened the book and to my surprise I saw unfamiliar handwriting.
Erin:
You have a talented. Your poems are so well written. You are such a talented writer. Don't let anyone say different... and don't you ever think differently.
Josh
I smiled and felt extremely happy. A few tears escaped my eyes. But this time from happiness. I found a fresh page and went to writing. I looked at the clock to see it was after ten. After about ten minutes I had a poem. I looked over it. Ok, looks good. I heard the bathroom door open and Josh walked out. I couldn't help but stare. His pajama pants hung loosely around his waist. His top wasn't buttoned up. And that black wifebeater... I could just fly away. God, Erin. You're acting like a school girl. I sighed. He walked over to the bed and sat down.
"Whatcha doin'?" he asked. The smell of his aftershave and just the smell of MAN took over my senses.
"I wrote something for you," I answered shyly. His whole face brightened. His smile could have made me melt.
"Can I read it?" he asked still smiling brightly.
"Yeah... here," I said giving him the book. He read it out loud.
An Acknowledgement From The Heart
Sweet embraces fall upon delicate dreams, Soft whispers thread through sincere words, Rainbows of unconditional trute Through a simple gesture. I recall the day we met, strange as it was. Our conflicting lives never formed barriers… This is my thanks to you. Trust flowed gently down streams of your love, Friendship formed solid bricks, Shaping our future. I recall the now familiar safety, strange as it was, You didn't look away and throw me unwelcome glances. Instead you stayed… This is my thanks to you. My thanks to you is one with no bars hold, One with all of me, And mories are luscious sheets of warmth, Wrapped around me when I see your smile. The sun rays that carelessly caress your skin Have an overwhelming effect, radiating beauty, Beyond description yet again. Eternity of thanks I do owe, Fornd presence in my life. For the continual protection and safety you provide, For the me you've made…and most importantly, For the person I've become because of you. My thanks to you is my heart and my soul. Forever yours will it ever be.
"WOW! That was just... wow," he said looking at me.
"You like it?" I asked hopefully.
"I don't like... I love it, Erin!" he exclaimed. I smiled.
"I wanted to thank you somehow. So I did it the only way I know how. Through a poem," I said blushed slightly.
"Well, it's the best thing I have ever gotten as a thank you gift, or as any other gift for that matter," he said, placing the book down on the dresser. I gave him back his pen.
He placed it atop my notebook. He looked at me and just smiled that smile.
"Hop up for a sec," he said standing up. I stood up and he pulled back the comforter and sheets. I laid down and to my surprise he laid down right next to me.
"You don't mind, do you?" he asked as he started to pull the sheets up along with the comforter.
"No. Not at all," I said with a small smile. Once I finally got settled I turned to look at Josh.
"Thanks for today. It was the best day of my life," I whispered looking into his eyes.
"No prob," he said softly looking into my eyes.
He opened up his arms and I snuggled up next to him as he laid flat on his back. His arm went around me as I slowly placed my arm over his waist. I breathed in. I felt safe and secure. He moved up slightly to turn off the light and the room went dark. He moved back down. I got more comfortable. I snuggled up to him more.
"Goodnight, Josh," I whispered, sleep slowly overcoming me.
" 'Night, angel," he said softly. He softly kissed my forehead as my eyes shut.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ Credit for poems:
'Someday': Angel:- thsangel183@yahoo.com
'An Acknowledgement From The Heart' Written by: Mel aka Freakanoia_4jskeeta
Website addy:- www.falteringimages.dot.nu Email addy:- freakanoia_4jskeeta@yahoo.com.au or faltering_images@yahoo.com