Of all the Spiritual Disciplines none has been more abused than the discipline of submission.
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline
Somehow, mankind has a knack for taking things that God intended for good purposes and turns them into bad things. Nothing can put people into bondage like religion, and nothing can do more to manipulate and destroy people than a deficient teaching on submission. So we must be careful to ensure that we properly discern and teach this discipline.
The goal of Spiritual Disciplines is freedom, and each discipline has its corresponding freedom. In and of themselves, disciplines are of no value. They are only valuable because they can direct us into a proper position before God so that He can enter and change our lives.
“What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to bet our own way” (Foster, 111). The idea that things have to go our way plagues our western modern society. We spend weeks, even months, in a stew all because some little thing did not go as we had wished. We act as if our very life hangs on certain issues; we even get ulcers over it.
Yet, most things in life that we fret over are not really as important as we make them out to be. Most decisions that we make in life are not major decisions. If we could only come to recognize this, then we could hold them lightly.
So how do we practice submission?
1. The best way to practice submission is to simply hold one’s tongue. Silence and submission go hand in hand. Biblical teaching on submission focus’s primarily on the spirit with which we view other people. Scripture does not attempt to set forth a series of hierarchical relationships but to communicate to us an inner attitude of mutual subordination. Read 1 Peter 2:18. It is altogether possible for servants to serve their masters without a spirit of submission. Outwardly, we can do what people ask and inwardly be in rebellion against them. The Old Testament told us not to murder, but Jesus, in the New Testament, stressed the importance of our inner attitudes towards others and made clear that it is just as wrong to hate as it is to murder. The discipline of submission frees us to love unconditionally.
2. The basis of understanding the discipline of submission is found in Jesus’ statement: “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34). Do you know the freedom that comes with giving up our rights? It means that we are set free from the anger and bitterness that consume us when someone doesn’t act toward us in the way that we think they should. Western society has completely lost this whole concept. It is as foreign as trying to speak Latin. For self-denial conjures up all sorts of images of groveling and self-hatred. “Yet, Jesus did not equate self-denial with self-hatred. Self-denial is simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want” (Foster, 113).
3. In the same way, self-denial (submission) does not mean that we lose our identity. Did Jesus lose his identity when He set His face toward Golgotha? Did Peter lose his identity when he responded to Jesus' call, “Follow me!” (Jn 21:19). No, they found their identity in their acts of self-denial.
4. Further, self-denial is not the same as self-contempt. Self-contempt claims that we have no worth, no value; and that if we do have worth, that we should reject and deny it. Self-denial declares that we have infinite self-worth and teaches us how to realize and appreciate it. Jesus points out that self-love and self-denial are not in conflict. More than once Jesus made it quite clear that self-denial is the only sure way to love ourselves (Matt. 10:39; 22:39).
5. Learning the discipline of submission means learning the freedom to give way to others. It means that we value their interests, needs, and desires above our own. In this way, it releases us from self-pity and self-indulgence.
Our primary difficulty with this discipline is that we have failed to properly understand Jesus’ teaching on it. His teaching on leadership is entirely upside down: Leadership is found in becoming a servant. To be victorious, we must surrender! Power is found in being submissive. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8:35).
But make sure to understand that Jesus not only taught this style of leadership, He also lived it. Jesus shattered the leadership style of His day when He:
1. Took women seriously
2. Was willing to make time for little children
3. Washed His disciples feet
4. Freely suffered and died on across
It is impossible to explain the revolutionary character of Jesus’ life and teachings. He called into being a whole new order of leadership. And then stated, “I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you” (Mark 9:35). “It is a life of voluntary submission of freely . . . of accepted servant hood” (Foster, 116).
Are there limits to submission? Yes, but not as most would think. “The limits of submission are at the point at which it becomes destructive. It then becomes a denial of the law of love as taught by Jesus and is an affront to genuine biblical submission (Matt. 5,6 and 7 and especially 22:37-39)’ (Foster 120).
We cannot and are not to submit to authorities who would have us deny the One true God. Both Peter and Paul demonstrated this in the New Testament (Acts 4:19-20; 5:29; 16:37). We must understand that submission reaches its limits when it becomes destructive. We must also be willing to “meekly refuse a destructive command and be willing to suffer the consequences” (Foster, 120).
Sometimes the limits of submission are easy to define:
A wife is asked to punish her child unreasonably. A child is asked to aid an adult in an unlawful practice. A citizen is asked to violate the dictates of Scripture and conscience for the sake of the State. In each case the disciple refuses, not arrogantly, but in a spirit of meekness and submission.
However, sometimes the limits of submission are extremely difficult to determine:
What about a marriage partner who feels stifled and kept from personal fulfillment because of the spouse's professional career? Is this a legitimate form of self-denial or is it destructive? What about a teacher who unjustly grades a student? Does the student submit or resist? What about an employer who promotes his employees on the basis of favoritism and vested interests? What does the deprived employee do, especially if the raise is needed for the good of his or her family?
These are very complicated questions, and unfortunately, there is no law of submission that covers every human relationship. After all, if we had a book of rules to cover every situation, then we wouldn’t need dependence upon God.
Finally, let me point out a special issue that relates to this discipline. Jesus’ teaching on authority run completely opposite to the thinking systems of this world. Spiritually, authority does not reside in positions, titles, tenure, or degrees; spiritual authority is God-ordained and God-sustained. Human institutions may acknowledge this authority or they may not; it makes no difference. The person with spiritual authority may have an outward position of authority or may not; again, it makes no difference. Spiritual authority is marked by both compassion and power. But here is the difficulty, How do you personally deal with people who are in “positions of authority” but who do not possess spiritual authority? Since Jesus made it clear that position does not give authority, should this person be obeyed? Can we not rather disregard all humanly ordained authority and only look for and submit to spiritual authority?
The answer is neither simple, nor impossible. Scripture commands that we live in subordination and submission to human authority until it becomes destructive. Again both, Peter and Paul call us to be obedient to the pagan State because they understood the great good that resulted from the human institution of government.
We should constantly be in prayer for such people that they will be filled with God’s power and authority. We could also try becoming their friend to help lead them, ourselves, into a right view of leadership and submission.
May God Bless You as You Seek Him.
Love,
Ryan