A Drunk Driving Crash is Taking My Life Tomorrow.
Hey, everyone!
I die tomorrow. Hopefully before lunch, so I get free food. Miss me and have fun.


ANYWAYS...new poetry from 2-Dimensional Christie...


I'm lying on the ground.
replaying lies...from a broken love that we never had. And I see your eyes through the sunrise- bright, blinding, decieving. I wish I could replace my broken heart, but I just keep reminding myself that things like this mean nothing. nothing, like the memories...like that feeling I got in my stomach, the night I was left so alone. cold and sharp like the coast on the northern atlantic. my dear, I wish I lived near the beach. that way I could die gracefully. sinking in water, used for reasons like this more than once, rather then suffocating in the sounds of your voice and the neglect I recieve from you. I can't stop repeating that song. for every line of lyrics, I picture myself singing to you, a song you wrote. A song you scream, a song that brings jealousy to my eyes. these eyes that have become so bright, blinding, decieving.






innocence...i don't understand. ignorance. we fall over and over, never learning from past experiences. he shot the gun and killed his love, but they both mean nothing and are lying under my feet.....
now, as the curtain falls on my life, will you be there? and sing the encore? because I can hear them clapping and screaming for more. or will you be too occupied with the buttons on her shirt and the hair that falls across her shoulders? I can't wait for you this time. I've wasted too many nights at the bottom of this lake. I can hear you crying over the microphone, as the crowd sings along. but I truly hate that song. why did I have to meet you today? if only I could meet you 5 monthes from now. oh, I'd be ready then. but she calls you to walk across the burning wreckage, and you, called by duty (you have a relationship, you know) come running. say goodbye. those are the only words I can say. I can't wait to see you tomorrow...tuesday. to see you and your glassy blue stare. glassy from lies and blue from tears set forth by the raging fear that you'll be caught. you are so sincere that I don't know trust anymore. you stand on stage as the camera flashes and she falls into your arms, as you stare into the crowd and ignore my glances from the last row. always hiding. in the back is where I'll be. quiet and drowning in this feeling. I'm either in love or I'm falling into obsession.

You were such a good liar...I honestly believed you. It's too bad we had to meet though. It's too bad I'm just another number. See? I told you...You said you were sincere...maybe in the things you said, but not in who you said them to. And you didn't want to hurt me... That's a good one. I haven't heard that before. The only difference was that I believed you. I really did. I don't know why...I shouldn't have. I hope you are happy with her (and I'm not being sarcastic), I just wish I could be perfect for someone...I wish someone could be in love with me. I hate myself for falling for people who are already in love with someone else. Well, I just hate myself in general, but it's all good. Whatever.

This is how I write...Odd.
mhmm...i found this under my bed. along with 3 pennies and a thank you note.

death contains more acceptance then the moonlight shining on your face as you stared straight ahead and said "i wish i could see the stars, but tonight nothing is glowing as brightly as it should." board the ship and we'll see what, see where, we sink as we search for a captain and a lifeboat. and the flare guns are burning like that white hot fire in your lies. lie down and cry yourself asleep, as mascara and tear drops mix with the ocean (changing nothing), blue as his eyes and deep like your self proclaimed soul. someone on shore got that bottle you sent afloat, but found nothing except traces of alcohol and a drunk driving crash that killed your love and caused a whirlwind of domestic violence. the kids meant nothing when they hid in the closet and fell to the pain...dreaming of dark alleys and broken city lights, smashed across a stereo that, stuck on repeat, screamed like a roaring airplane engine. he was burned alive last night. his blue eyes sparked a fire to the bed we shared. too bad you weren't home to collect his ashes, then maybe you would have something to send across the ocean. I can walk inside and retrieve everything that I don't need, because my only needs drowned in the flames with him. and how could you forget the kids in the closet? it was like a stove in there. they died like the victims of neglect. they died like children left in a car on a 115 degree day, with no air and no daddy. and mommy's on the cruise ship with the drug dealer that gave her a bottle to place in the water. if only her hand was in there long enough to be caught by the electrical waves sent through the deep blue that night. make sure you learn the story before you accuse in the courtroom. my luck is running out.

That's Right.
whoa.




we are a million miles away, though I wish we were more, so many that my weak thoughts couldn't consentrate long enough to calculate the distance. I am already distraught by the words you said and the good fortune at hand. you see, I saw it all coming, and like the approach of a secret doomsday, I prepared. I loaded myself with esteem and surrounded myself with people I'd rather not be with, but choose to keep company to keep my mind off of you. I remember the first time we kissed. It was cold and snow littered the ground, as the sun shone like a spotlight on your face. the wind blew through my hair and I thought I had you. I wanted so badly to have you. I'm not strong...so the opposite that I can't sleep at night or I'd drown in my tears. That might be the way to go though, because right now the pain you threw upon me is filling my lungs and choking me alive...to death. I still keep composure when I walk the streets, still alone, not only tonight, but from here on out. Forever. forever is such a twisted word. like love. I thought they both meant the same thing. I thought love was forever and forever was filled with love. I was wrong once again though and you proved ignorance as you spoke those words. I know you only whispered them, but I heard them so loudly. They echoed in my thoughts of forever and still ring in the confines of my room. This is what I'm left to...and this is who I'm with. A lonely, overused, fake person who pains me to see in the mirror every morning. my bloodshot eyes and paper mache smile. so easily broken, but never called fake by those who should know better. I guess my point is, why? I love to heard answers, but I more love formulating questions. A friend once told me, never love something that can't love you back. I've made that mistake too many times now.

Crotch Carrots.
Well, my little problems managed to work themselves out, thank goodness! We had made it all the way to Tri-Cities, when my mom decided to turn back, because she didn't want to leave my dad home alone with little Mollie. Now I have to decide what to do tonight and which day to go snowboarding! I still need to call Alex to work out a ride. I thank him and his mommy very much, because without them, I wouldn't be snowboarding! Anyways, I can't get the song "The Ground Folds" by Senses Fail out of my head. Earlier this morning, Mollie was making fun of me for singing the Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Maps". She doesn't like them, and I do. I've started to listen to a broader range of music. I remember those days when I only listened to AFI and Boy Sets Fire. Whoa. Boring days. But, yeah. I want to go downtown tonight. I would love to go to a concert, but no, no one is playing today and everyone is at Pullman at the games! I feel left out and hungry. I'm going to go get more food now...this fasting thing is getting to me!

POETRY BY CHRISTIE. wOOt.
See these scars?
They whisper the story of a love, lost so long ago, in secrets kept silent by control and promises.
do you taste the blood? dripping on your tongue like a sugary sweet kiss goodbye. stolen in the shadows of commrodery and hatred. while we walk hand in hand through the pitch black poison air, as thorns tear at our wrists and hearts, beating slowly. and we're suffocating through the haunted houses- homes no longer, abandoned in suburbs turned urban forests. scream "you were well worth it", as I close my eyes and fade back into memory. forgotten lies run their fingers through my hair and put me asleep tonight. streched across a blood and grey colored bedsheet, you lie awake and once waiting. it's like a childish game we play, and follow through with the bright white sunlight of another wasted day. beautiful, don't bother to arise. I've already taken your turn. It's too late to remember the hits and stumbles we took, beaten to the ground, kept alive by the sound of a rhyming poem, whose title unknown, we call love.
As talent slipped from the words, let loose by the lips that left me caught between here, tomorrow, and wishes of a much anticipated yesterday. I recognize that sweet song. I heard it once hummed as I paced backwards through my future, seeing nothing and believing it all because you told me what I wanted to hear. Say hello to my past, will you? Ask if it misses me, because you, suicide, are one thing I missed out on.

Decisions!
Ahhh. I've had a bad week! There's been to many decision making things going on! My current dilema (or however that's spelled) is that I'm torn between going to Seattle to a funeral for a lady I don't know, with my mom, or going to the b-ball games in Pullman and then snowboarding on Saturday. This might sound odd, but I really want to go to the game and be the little mascot guy! And see a friends little *ahem* brother. Haha. Yeah. But also, I want to go up on Saturday, probably with Alex, and ride the rails because last weekend I killed them, thanks to Sean and the park crew for making such nice runways for the cute little kinked rails! And I miss the snow. Otherwise, if I go to Seattle, I wouldnt be able to go to the games, go up Saturday or see certain people. But I will be able to see my grandparents, be with my mother, see Kyle and go up on Sunday. I'M SO LOST RIGHT NOW! Oh and by the way, that whole raising the tuition thing is messed up. Everyone is leaving!! Noooooooo! I'm going to be all by myself at DeSales! Anywho, I should probably go sort out my little meaningless problems so I don't get FREAKING STRESSED OUT. Woo. Okay, I'm done.

even more poems...whoa!


i just wanted our love to be pure
like rainfall on the city skyline
nothing hurt as much as when you said "goodbye"
you are my downfall
and through the stormy weather,
i see you, i hear you call
"we are back at the start...
you did this and it tore us apart."
why did i buy all your lies?
but why did you sell them to me in the first place?
and why did i have to see through the haze?
i hate seeing myself in a romance i wish was dead.
i hate being just like you,
when i know how much you can hurt someone.



we'll go underground,
see where we get from there
i killed you with my love,
please tell me this isn't fair.
i know you wanted this,
baby don't tell a lie.
but tomorrow's come and gone
and I still don't see the light.
you're right, you're right.
this wasn't meant to be.
you're right, you're right.
suicide doesn't come for free.
and innocence lost,
long gone can't be bought.
and all i've ever learned,
is everything you've taught.

poems...
k...more poems I wrote. woooo....



your words,
hanging in this room
like a broken chandelier
with the glass like a piece of your empty emotion,
tearing at my heart
and the light like your icy stare
that gently slit my throat.
and in my dreams i feel you
so real, i wake up screaming,
laying in depths of suicide,
chilled by what i know cant be real
because you are so distant
i can't even reach you in my dreams
and i'm so far gone i can't even picture your face
but everyday your perfection
looks me up and down in disgust
eyes and laughter full of mistrust.
i promised...i promised you
but perfection is never wrong and you can't trust me.
i broke my promise, but am i just lying to myself?



would you hate if i were gone?
i think of murder when i hear your name
i feel sick thinking of your game.
one was torn, two indecisive.
but i've now decided, i never want to see you again.
such a short time, few emotions
but i've been sitting here, crying so hard
and have you wrote that song about us falling in love?
it should now include her, beautiful, perfect and someone i hurt to have you.
do you remember what you said to me?
do you know what love is?
i suppose i expected too much after you said i love you. i love you?
do you know what that means?
it meant that i was the only one.
and you were the only one.
it meant that we could have each other.
it means nothing between us now.
and have you wrote that letter yet? concerning us and a future?
i'm making a big deal out of nothing you say.
yes, love is nothing.tears are nothing.
pain hasn't found me yet, and it's something you've long lost.
why make promises to me you wanted to share with her?
you know, she's only leading you one.
she's only using you.
i hope you once again find pain.
and when you do, it will be the same,
as it was for me and the one i hurt.
you miss me? well, i missed you..you ignored me.
you have no luck with girls...
i liked the way you said my name.
and the sun stopped shining over your face
and lips that told me such lies as I love you. i love you is a lie.
you see what you've done to me?
i'm down to zero now, darling.
there is no such thing as a warm embrace for me anymore.
i looked forward to you.
my hope is gone,
lost with your ability to care for emotions other then your own.
too bad i have to do this...
but who would care? really...who would care...
the one i hurt is on a level i can't reach,
the one i was hurt by seemed so perfect...
even attainable.
i've admired you darling.

more lyric/poems...


~rain~
i need to escape, i need to find myself so far from you
and i say i'll never love you...
never has come at such an inconvienence.
and if this is just a dream, please wake me up
i'm drowning in your ocean of apologies
please stay, i'm sorry...as i'm running away
i've ran for so long, but every turn leads back to you...and her and you're lying and i'm regretting this
it's breaking me apart, and every piece gets weaker with time
i've never been able to leave you behind, because you're always right in front of me
i need a break, a calm before another one of your storms
you keep the key to the door that would lead to my escape, placed next to your lies
you keep the fire i need to burn this down,
in your eyes
if only it would rain...and wash me away.
i hate the truth that never comes
and makes me cry myself asleep tonight.



~glamour~
everything i did was for you
everything thing i do is about you
witness to beauty and this harsh city knows nothing
you'd drink yourself asleep and to a remnant of something so lovely. good night, love.
i wish i still had good morning, love you'd call me.
love, you lost and i'm not winning.
but what about me? you'd call...
but what about...the tomorrow we never had a chance at.
set this ladder so high for me, and leave me with nothing to climb for.
stop begging for the prize when you've never played the game, just sang along to the theme song and the chorus is my name.
you have such a beautiful voice, shatter all the windows and look in the mirror. you'd call. look in the mirror. and all the petals are taking refuge on my bedroom floor. it's never been eaiser to find the look in your eyes or the look in the mirror. dont worry about me, see i'm fine. i stole your heart, i'm a proud owner now.