This is Christie, checking in from Death.
I was looking through my beat up old cigar box full of random pictures, notes, old gum, signatures and memories, when I came across a picture of him... I honestly wanted to start crying, but the past few weeks have been so emotional, I couldn't. I remember after he completly broke my heart and altered my feelings towards boys (not totally...I still date them...), I wanted to take a knife to his throat and a match to his bedroom. I actually contemplated that. I can't believe that I thought I fell in love with him. All the things he confessed after he used me and left me for a girl that moved across the states...and never bothered enough to call me. He left me sitting there for 2 weeks, praying he would call. He never did. I actually saw him the other day too. I can tell he's changed. I wish I didn't want him anymore! He finally got those tattoos he had always talked about. He no longer had blonde hair. He had two more piercings. He wasn't as anorexically thin. He was, of course, still tall. I have no idea why I'm saying all of this... but for some reason I miss him. I've been used so much (aww, poor me...)that it wouldn't matter to me, or hurt me anymore, if he did what he did before, again. I wonder what he's been doing the past year. I wonder if he still lives at home. I wonder if he's made anything out of this life yet, or if he still sits around at home... wherever that may be. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. I have a feeling that I'm only remembering how I felt for him...I honestly don't know how I could really ever bring myself to talk to him again. I want him to stay in my past.

Okay, that was a bunch of changing opinions/emotions. And there are very few people that know who "he" is.


Anyways, don't drink and drive. That's a must follow, for me the little sXe kid, and for everyone else, because you have no idea how much you can ruin so many people's lives if you get behind the wheel drunk. And listen to Yellowcard. And A Static Lullaby. And Fall Out Boy. They are very good. And stare at hot boys from Portland...I enjoyed my visit last weekend very much! I like them, you might too...