Quotes from around the world!
Quotes
Welcome to my quotes section!!!
Enjoy!!!!
Quotes from Friends
"GODDAMNIT!! You made white stuff come out my nose!!! And there are little chucks of cookie in it!"
-John Prager
"Why are my nuts so addictive?"
-Al
"stop holding my nuts! and don't eat them either..."
-Al's mom
"HOLY GOD!! I'm lucky I was able to swollow that!!"
-John Prager
"DAMNIT! Tiffany and I were gonna learn to polka!"
-John Prager
"I would like a very very large penis with extra cream."
-John Prager
"This is my biggest dream at this moment... and it's a wet one!"
-John Prager
"Those country singers these days... you know, at the rate they inbread, country music will pleage the earth for years to come, he he, I said come..."
-John Prager
Sluts don't belong on the street, April, they belong in my bedroom!
-John Prager
JUST 'COZ I'M GAY DOESN'T MEAN I FINGER MYSELF EVERY TUESDAY DAMNIT!!!
-John Prager
I'm a gay little fairy, a gay little fairy, gay little fairy! WATCH ME DANCE!
-John Prager
... but I AM a gay little fairy...
-John Prager in real life
"... why don't we ever put quotes on our page that make us look.. you know.. strait..."
"Well because your a dickhead, and because its to much of a streach to make you look strait.. I mean look at how you dress!"
-John Prager(and me with the followup and owning)
"It was kinda hard to be around Tiff tonite, I hope that goes away soon"
"I hear tight underwear helps..."
John and myself
"Why are you wearing my underwear John"
-Johns mom
"John, all your friends want my body(I laughed for 15 minutes strait at that one)"
-John's mom
"John stop touching it, I'll tell you when it gets hard!"
-Johns mom
"John don't stick a fish up there!"
-Tiffany(John's ex-girlfriend)
"There's a hole in my crotch!!!!"
-Tiffany
"Show me a home, where the buffalo roam, and I'll show you a place thats full of shit."
-My pap
"Even Porn can't distract me from my pokemon!!!"
-Nelson Jordon
"If I ever get that desprite, I'll always have my horse, and he makes John look just plain shrimpy!"
-Shawna
"I am a good she bitch"
-Shawna
" I had a dream, I just kept blowin' 'em and blowen' 'em (talk about john prager)"
-Shawna
" I am a big cocksucker"
-Shawna
"If it was his ass that was talking it wouldn't be so bad(and would smell better too! mwa ha haa -Neo)"
-Shawna
"The last time Peirce and I had sex... his exact words were "is this the right hole?""
-Jessica(That fuckin' bitch)
"you remember where I love?"
"no i don't know where you love and dont want too lol"
"LIVE!... fucker"
"LOL, dude you should put that as a quote lol"
"... Ok"
-Nathan and Me in a online convo
Quotes from Online friends
"I want a Ritual 7 NUTSACK!"
-Ogon
"When I see my picture I say "Oh my God, he's hot!!" and then I realize that it's me and then I kiss myself."
-some dude in a MIRC chat
" I refuse to know someone who doesn't skate for Old Navy when asked to! I've lost too many friends that way!! "
-Magus
"Trent Rezner is not as scary as he used to be, my friend was watching the MTV award's stoned and thought he was a bunny!"
-Magus
"I am the kung fu duck of doom Artisans, so you may want to FEAR ME!! QUACK QUACK!!"
-Celes
"If he EVER puts a pikachu in my pants again I'll KILL him!!!!"
-MoonShade Warrior
-MoonShade Warrior
"Ima a PRO at masterbation, When your me you HAVE to be."
-Ogon
"i dont think i could be a woman, all that vaginal maitnence.. i couldnt do it"
-Ogon
"we will put him in a box at a airport and say he is a rabid ape that we shaved for fun and knows how to read english shitty insults"
-Ogon
"chet, can i be keeper of the midgets?"
-Ogon
"i want the ritual 7 nutsack still"
-Ogon
"yeah, basically.... i really really want to suck paradox's dick..."
"yes, of course. she couldnt resist my 8 year old girlish body"
-Laney and paradox
"I am he he suck"
-Shaun
"damn even the virgins get more sex than me!"
-The Rimmer
Quotes from movies/music/TV/Other
"I contend that we are both atheists, I just believe in one less god
than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all other possible
gods, then you will know why I dismiss yours."
- Stephen F. Roberts
"ow, i think you broke my arm!"
"there are 215 bones in the human body, that's only one..."
-guard in mental institute and Sarah Connor from "Terminator 2"
"Wouldn't it be great if wars could just be fought by the assholes that start them?"
-Kevin Costner in "the postman"
-from Seth gecko in From duck till dawn
"My own brother a goddamn shit sucking VAMPIRE! Wait till mom finds out buddy!"
-Sam from "The lost boys"
"They pulled a mind scramble on us! They opened their eyes and talked!"
- Edger Frog from "The lost boys"
"Bob dole likes viagra"
-Bob Dole
"I myself have never peed in the bosses coffee pot, though i have suggested the coffee tastes salty and winked on occasion"
-Dennis Miller
"one guy was walking a tight rope over the grand canyon, another guy was getting oral sex from a 90 year old woman... they were both thinking the exact same thing... "don't look down""
-Rodney Dangerfield
"An Australian woman taught me to use the boomerang, I got a case of VD that keeps coming back!"
-Rodney Dangerfield
"Lets talk about the upside of being insane... you can kill someone and not do any real time... every thing on TV is funny..."
-Adam from "love line"
"What are the odds of blood coming out af a mans penis three times in a row!?"
-Adam from "love line"
"Whoever coined the phrase "let the buyer beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole!"
-George Carlin
"When I'm in the men's bog in a prison, I tend not to look around. It's like playing golf: I concentrate on me grip, keep me eye on the ball, and try not to veer off to the side."
-Lister from "Red Dwarf"
"I think that Amish robot was drunk"
-Andy from "The Conan O'Brian show"
"I I HAVE A PENIS AND A BRAIN AND ONLY ENOUGH BLOOD TO RUN ONE AT A TIME"
-Robin Williams
"If my microwave calls me gay one more time..."
-Conan from "the Conan O'Brian show"
"He's always pushing booty lube... That?s why he's always sliding off his seat!"
--Conan from "the Conan O'Brian show"
"how can something so small and delicate be such a FILTHY WHORE!"
-Tryumph the insult comic dog on "the Conan O'Brian show"
"this one winks at you coming and going! I have to oil you down bitch!"
-Tryumph the insult comic dog on "the Conan O'Brian show"
"Ya i was on a role too... It seems I was dating three guys at work."
-Oswald from "The Drew Carey show"
*Crowd Chants "Fuck You! Fuck you! Fuck you!"*
Zakk: "Gotta Love it, Mother Fuckin Society concerts, Nothin But A
buncha Violent ass mother fuckers in here... Now all we have to do is
fuckin, hang billy corgan, fuckin by his neck, hang him up behind
here and have a pinyata contest with that peice of shit... "
*Crowd Goes nuts*
Zakk: "Jesus Christ, If your fuckin gonna be a guy, sing like one you
fuckin pussy ass mother fucker""
-Zakk Wylde of Black Label Society/Ozzy Osbourne
Quotes from me
"I did it all for the nookie... and Failed miserably!"
-WWZD
"ok so thats normal, damn, I thought i had superhuman spring loaded cum shooters"
-WWZD
"happieness is like pissing your pants.. everyone can SEE it but only YOU can feel it"
-WWZD
"What a girl like Christina Aguilera wants for Christmas is a lot of deaf relatives and fans"
-WWZD
"He died as he lived.. stinky and moist."
-WWZD
"where the hell did lou bega go???"
-WWZD
"Natures calling and its collect"
-WWZD
"ooh... squishy"
-WWZD(DON'T ASK!!)
Marquita hurt my crotch again. She kept slamming her
big fat ass into my crotch. It hurt like hell, almost as much as that
time she grabbed and squeezed my nads...freak dancing is DANGEROUS!"
-WWZD
"Colton, you don't use a fork to eat that."
"Ohhhhh! I see! So it's like a pie eating contest? You stick your hands behind you back and dive in, right?"
-John and WWZD
"Its pretty bad when you can't get any from a girl who gives it away to farm animals..."
WWZD
I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
-WWZD
"God looks suprisingly like Jerry Garcia"
-WWZD
"I don't think waiting for marrage is such a great idea... Your wedding night is NOT the night to find out your mate for life can only aroused by watching you squat on a coffee table wairing a hoola skirt"
-WWZD
"I feel like such a dick, i should shave my head and wear a turtleneck"
-WWZD
" ugh, 50 cent is going to make a movie based on himself"
"isn't there enough gay porn?"
-WWZD and Halo
Quotes from Wrestling
"You seem to be fixated on that large mans ass"
-J.R.
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
"There's a Uranus joke there somewhere, but I don't want to touch it."
-J.R. and Jerry Lawler
"The thought of you as a credible and believable champion is an idea even more ridiculously enhanced than your breasts"
-God(otherwise known as Chris Jericho)
"I'm not a biology major, but I don't think I have any poontang..."
Mick Foley
"She's from Intercourse, Pennsylvania?!?"
"I heard that'd near Blueball..."
-Jerry Lollar and J.R.
I want to point out that Canada is the only nation that has a queen on one side of their coin, and a beaver on the other... thats just wrong!
Al Snow