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Based on "Help!" (1965)
New lyrics written Thursday, March 13, 2003 @ 4:00 a.m.

Help! I need a brownie.
Help! Not just any brownie.
Help! You know I need it now.

When I was younger, my addictions were at bay;
I never needed brownies every single day.
But now those days of chocolate restraints are gone,
and I'll find the perfect wine to compliment them all.

Help me if you can I need it now.
There has been a shortage everywhere in town.
Quickly, now, a brownie must be found
somewhere, somehow, for me!

And now my life has turned down such a different road,
I never knew that brownies could be made of gold.
But every now and then the memories are blurred
of how I got to be in power of the brownie world.

Help me if you can...
...somehow, for me!

When I was younger, there was not a way to know,
that many years on down the line I'd help to grow
the largest company of brownies known to man.
I'll never stop 'til the entire world knows who I am.

Help me if you can...
...somehow, for me!
Brownie, brownie, ooh, mm.