3RD BASS: See 2nd Bass.
3/4 TIME: A way to keep the band continuously out of step.
5/4 TIME: What the Fuck!!
5/8 TIME: See 3/4 time.
8/8 TIME: "Wait a second, what? I'm confused!"
ACCIDENTIALS: Wrong notes.
AIR: The driving force behind brass instruments, but generally lacks in woodwinds, therefore causing squeakies.
AIR HEADS: see Colorguard, Woodwinds.
ALTERED CHORD: When the French horns just can't find the right note.
ALTO CLARINET: A soprano clarinet for simplicity-impaired people who insist on having all their parts rewritten in E flat.
ALTO SAXOPHONE: A musical instrument that either plays very loud or not at all between squeaks.
ARC: A shape between one and five corners, and one open side.
ASTROTURF: A fake football field designed to make bands have problems marching. It screws up your knees if you march on it throughout the course of high school.
ATTENTION: Something drummers lack. Standing still while sticking out your butt. Can only talk in whispers so that the directors can’t hear you.
AUDITION: The act of putting oneself under extreme stress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
BAIL: The money raised at 2:30 in the morning to get one of the drummers out of jail before the competition in a few hours.
BAND TEN HUT!!: Fortunately, this still doesn't work on us.
BAND CAMP: A time of gathering between most band fags for five days during July. At lunchtime, everyone crams into their cars, and drives to Wendy’s to eat or to cruise around town for an hour.
BAND FAG: Also known as band nerds, band freaks, band geeks. A person who is so obsessed with band that they wouldn't dream of being late for band, practice their music sometimes not all the time, and has no real life. They're nice people, except for being insane.
BAND FESTIVAL: They may have fooled you the first time, but all returning people know it's anything but a festival.
BAND JACKET: 1. Status symbol. 2. Proclamation of true geekdom.
BAND LOCKER ROOM: A cold place where band geeks congregate before school and after school, and would much prefer to stay there the whole day. Characterized by people trying to use flags poles as swords, putting themselves in the red light district, and hiding in open lockers. We aren't going to tell you any more. You're just going to have to experience it for yourself.
BAND NAZI: person who enjoys band enough to not realize that the band sucks; passes out at every event in order to get attention.
BAND PARENTS: The only parents that a band fag sees between July and December. The only reason the band is held together. Always good for money. Affectionately called Mama and Papa Last-Name (Ex: Mama Neis).
BAND PARTY: A gathering of band geeks where they can wear their band jackets, play cards, watch movies, and where scary things happen.
BAND SHIRT: An article of clothing that is washed once a year. A key part of travel and marching band uniforms. Usually becomes a paint shirt after it's respective season. Melts when burned.
BAND WARS: A Star Wars parody by Victoria Easley, using members of the band. Luke Skywalker=Adam Dragstepper; Jabba the Hut=Jabba the Dick.
BARI SAXOPHONE: An instrument for saxophone players who want to sound like a tubist.
BARITONE: A device for doubling the trombones except using the right notes. Also used for playing during silence.
BAROQUE: If it's baroque, fix it!
BASS CLARINET: A soprano clarinet impersonating a bassoon; a very keyful instrument.
BASS DRUMS: A reason to make jokes about the Energizer bunny.
BASS DRUM PLAYERS: People who tape their music to their drum so they won't have to memorize anything.
BASS GUITAR: The instrument that makes the band funky.
BASS LINE: The epitome of boredom.
BASSOON: A usual hybrid between a bass clarinet and oboe, which remains unused in marching. Also known as a big oboe, the cow instrument, and the thing that makes the tugboat sounds.
BATTERY: It powers a tuner.
BEAT: What music students do to each other with their instruments.
BEES: Annoying insects that buzz around and torment the marching band at band camp all summer.
BELL-FRONT INSTRUMENTS: Always brass, these are directional instruments designed to play extremely loud.
BERET: the French hat that sousaphones wear. The only good thing is you don’t have to wear the other hat. If a band nazi is present, you must wear in like in the military.
BIG BAND FAGS: Adult Band Parents
BI-SECTIONAL: Something that Sarah Wilson does.
BOW TIE: The single most frequently challenged part of standard concert uniform. Also, for tubists it is a joke.
BRAIN FART: A mistake involving an escape of gaseous substances from the head usually in conjunction with missing a set.
BRASS: The section of the band made up of shiny instruments with weird mouthpieces who sit in the back. Saxophones aren't considered brass, even though they're made of brass, and neither are flutes, even though they aren't wooden and they have a weirdo mouthpiece instead of a reed. Silver trumpets and euphoniums are considered brass, as are copper trombones. But what's in a name?
BROKEN CHORD: The reason you can't hear the guitar.
BUS: 1. A good way to get to know someone (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean!). 2. Also a place where the Drumline plays Truth or Dare and Hypothetical. 3. The only way to see a pigeon at 65 MPH. 4. Where you never, ever, EVER sing. 5. Where “shingling” happens.
BUS SEAT: A favorite spot for body-stuffing (Our current record is 10.)
CAMERA: An object carried by many band fags in hopes of blackmailing others later.
CAR: A four-wheel vehicle which a band member over the age of sixteen lives out of.
CARDS: 52 rectangular devices of equal size and width, which each have respective numbers, symbols, and colors. Used for games by band members.
The only thing keeping them on the edge of sanity.
CARRIER: A harness used to carry a drum. Very painful to a drummer's shoulders. Drummers scare each other by hitting one another's carriers with their sticks.
CENTER SNARE : The leader of the snares whose main requirement for the job is to not be able to hold a steady tempo.
CIRCLE: A closed shape with definite corners and edges.
CHRONIC PLAYING SYNDROME (C.P.S): There's no cure. (Drummers and Trumpet players have this.)
CLARINET: An untenable device for people who want to be in the band but have weak arms and don't wish to be heard. The clarinet section outnumbers all the other sections.
CLARINET PLAYER: One of about 1000 people who happened to pick up a clarinet on the first day of band and are too timid to ever try anything else. Hobbies include squeaking and complaining about parts.
CLEF: Something to jump from before the French horn or Bassoon solo. Oh, wait...that's a cliff...
CLUSTER CHORD: A trombone section trying to play the same note.
COLLAR: Something thy hair shalt never toucheth.
COLOR GUARD: The Air Head section; People who swing flags and toss rifles to distract the audience’s attention away from the band. Makes the band seem better. Get extra credit if they hit (accidentally, of course) a field judge.
COMMON TIME: "Let's synchronize our watches."
COMPETITION: 1. A general gathering of band fags to show that each ones band is better than the others. 2. A place where PDA’s are appropriate.
COMPOSER: Someone everyone likes to complain about and is generally able to do so without fear of retribution.
CONCERT: Extremely dangerous form of torture for both students and audience. Fatal if used in duration exceeding one hour.
CONDUCTING: The Drum Major’s method of amusing the band to points of laughter at times.
CONDUCTOR: The person in the front who waves her arms and dances wildly to the music. Constantly marks time during halts.
CONTRA: A tuba that is snapped onto and off of the player’s shoulder. Designed to build up arm strength and decrease brain activity. Name was chosen for being sexier than "Sousaphone".
CONTRA BASS CLARINET: A large, metallic, clarinet-like instrument that is designed to play in the range of a tuba yet is often mistaken for the kitchen sink.
CRAB STEPPING: Wheeeee! Ouch! My ankle!
CUT TIME: When everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.
CYMBAL: A percussion instrument to be dropped while the band plays pianissimo.
DANCING: A physical act that almost all band members partake in. It comes in three forms: the disco, the white girl/boy dance, and "Oh my God, he's having a seizure!"
DEATH MARCH: The direct result of a Christmas parade being marched slowly to a fast song.
DENNY’S: Open-All-Night restaurant chain favored by band. A place to go to drink coffee and to talk to other band geeks after a football game.
DI: Usually a six-sided object with one through six dots on every side used in games. Also, what some people which the directors would do.
DIAGONAL LINE: Like a straight line except impossible to make; theoretically it should be as easy as making a straight line but hey, we're talking about wind players here.
DIRECTOR: The person who claims to be in charge when everything is going well and claims denial when things go wrong. The directors tell the drum majors to tell the section leaders to tell the rest of the band what to do.
DIVINE COMEDY: Watching the drum major attempt to keep the correct tempo.
DOLLAR BILL: A device used for cleaning saxophone pads and flutes.
DOMINANT: An adjective used to describe the one trumpet player on the wrong note.
DOUBLE REED: A good way to make a band member's face look like they just ate a lemon.
DOUBLE TONGUING: Something flutists and trumpeters pretend to know how to do. It is not a reference to PDA.
DR. BEAT: A form of punishment so vile it's not even used in hell and is prohibited by the eighth amendment.
DR. PEPPER: A liquid substance which is almost as important to Band fags as valve oil, although it is drunk in larger quantities than valve oil.
DR. THUNDER: A quick and legal high.
DRESS LEFT/RIGHT/CENTER: A wonderful way to break your neck.
DRILL: Pages that show what a form is supposed to look like. Should be burned at year’s end.
DRILL-DOWN: When the band gets to follow long sets of commands, just to see who can do it, in an attempt at fun.
DRUM: Devices designed to be hit by sticks to make LOUD noise and annoy the rest of the band. Designed to play so loud that none of the other band members can hear their mistakes.
DRUM CABINET: What we pitifully use to attempt to store all of our concert equipment; falling apart as we speak.
DRUM CORPS: Very similar to a marching band, except for a couple of differences: 1. They’re good. 2. No woodwinds. Coincidence?
DRUMLINE: The people hitting the drums (or each other) with sticks in time with each other, but either a half beat earlier or later than the band and one beat from the pit.
DRUMLINE SECTION LEADER: In our band someone that has been a percussionist for one semester, and her only duty is to get everyone together. (Calling-tree) Now it has gone back to a true percussionist. Order has been restored.
DRUMLINE SHIRT: Similar to the band shirt, only funnier. Never becomes a paint shirt.
DRUMLINE’S SHRUB: Shrubs located near the end of the football field where drum line members go after they utter the all-important meaning-of-life phrase: "I gotta go..." It has now been destroyed by certain bastards.
DRUM MAJOR: (see conductor.)
DRUM-TAP: A snare beat loud enough for the judges to hear, and quiet enough so band doesn't hear.
DUCT TAPE: Grey cloth of amazing strength backed with heavy-duty adhesive. An integral part of band philosophy and solution to every problem known to man. Can be used not only to tape things, but also as clothing, fashionable accessories, and even sports equipment. [Ask about Dick Moen/Sean Simmons.] Can be substituted with electrical tape.
DUEL: Music played by two people at the same time, or two people using flags poles in the band locker room.
DYNAMICS: Something trumpet players never worry about. And something drummers have to worry about.
ECHO: What a band fag should hear bouncing off of the white shed after a good cut-off.
EIGHTH NOTE: The one everyone breathes on, except in 3/4 time.
ENERGY: Something no one has after band camp; drumline still manages to play warm ups despite this fact.
ENGLISH HORN: Neither English nor a horn, not to be confused with the French horn, which is German.
ESCAPE TONE: The last note before you scurry offstage.
ESPRESSIVO: Really intense coffee.
EUPHONIUM: A tuba wannabe. (You, phone, him: He answers it.)
EXECUTION: What the band goes through at band camp.
EXPONENTIAL GROWTH: The mathematical reasoning behind the fact that when one flute graduates, three new freshmen take her place.
FAG: Surprisingly, not an insult to a member of the RHS band.
FAGDOM: The state of a band member who is willing to give up all free time during season.
FAGISM: Something that is related to marching band, which spontaneously happens (such as walking with friends down the hall in step, or whistling warm-ups or scales without thinking about it).
FALSETTO: A flutist playing a difficult run.
F.C.P.L.: The brass marking for "Forget Control, Play Loud!"
FIELD: 100 yards in length, this is a wide expanse of mud on which bands perform. Contained within the area of this expanse are frequent sprinklers with occasional patches of grass.
FIGHT SONG: A peppy little tune officially titled "Rolla High," played when the football team scores a touchdown and when the team does just about everything else. It is played at extreme speeds to mess up the cheerleaders.
FLAG: A weapon; the color guard's only means of protection, or often, retribution.
FLIP FOLDER: An object possessed by every member of the marching band, none of which will ever contain all the right parts.
FLUTE: An un-tuned device for people who want to be in the band who have weak arms and don't wish to be heard.
FLUTIST: Person who plays the flute. Orchestras need only three but bands seem to require about four hundred. Sometimes known as flautists, but no matter what term you use, they'll always insist on the other.
FOOD: "Fuel" for band fags. Is an attacker of performance uniforms, but can still be eaten (in absolute secrecy) in this state of being.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS: The missing link.
FOOTBALL TEAM: The main reason the band can't always use the marching field. Who to blame if the field is muddy.
FORMER BAND FAG: The name given to a person who was in band, quit, and now returns (usually with food) to rehearsals and the band locker room just to watch for fun.
FOREST: one of the objects the band faces while marching block. [North]
FORMULA OF ARRIVAL: Early = on time. On time = late. Late = dead.
FORTE: The lowest dynamic marking a brass instrument can play at, with the possible exception of French horn.
FRENCH HORN: The only brass instrument that is played with the left hand. And the people who play it will break out in a disco without warning.
FRESHMEN: Designed to make up half the size of the band. This is the group that is most often humped by the seniors.
FULL UNIFORM: A form of torture consisting of overall pants with crotches to the knees, wool jackets, space cowboy hats (but not for da pit), gloves and gauntlets (the drumline doesn't wear these: "I'm to sexy for my gauntlets."), shiny shiny capes with missing sequins, and gaudy shoes.
FUND-RAISERS: Opportunities provided throughout the year for adult staff to yell at band members while making a few extra bucks on the side. Who wants cheese and sausage!?
GRADUATED BAND FAG: Someone who no longer attends the high school, but always come back to torture the other band members.
GUARD: People who wave flags, rifles, or sabers around during marching shows to distract the judges from how off step everyone is. When they want attention, they whack the instrumentalists with the thing they're twirling.
HARP: A nude piano.
HARASSING: Something once done to newbies; Seniors love doing this to them.
HELL: Inferno, early AM rehearsals, having to wear uniforms in 90 degree weather. What Nellum damns people to.
HIGH-MARK-TIME: An action that only occurs when the marcher is standing on mud or when one forgets to wear suspenders to a competition.
HIT: Something that happens when a guard member strikes you.
HORN FLASHES: A way of keeping marching band members busy during a show. Extra credit received if used against an on-field judge.
IMPROVISATION: What trumpet players do during rests.
INSTRUCTOR: Person who tells you when you’re screwing up.
INSTRUMENT: Device used for torture.
INTERVAL: An equal amount of space between band members (two step intervals); "Fix your intervals!" translates to, "SPREAD OUT YOU BUNCH
OF RETARDS!!!"
INTONATION: Don't worry about it. No one else does.
IQ: A constant combined number that does not change as the size of the band does.
JUMPING JACKS: They said we can't give out push-ups anymore...but they didn't say anything about jumping jacks...
JUNIOR: They make up the smallest portion of the band.
LATE: Is to never be. (For reasoning, see EARLY).
LOFT: Where section leaders get high. ("This is a pretty room. I can fly!" Splat!)
MALLET: An offensive weapon for the pit. During the course of the year, one mallet from each pair goes missing.
MANUAL: 1. The book that theoretically tells you all the fingerings for your instrument, half of which are wrong. 2. A type of labor that clarinet players try to avoid.
MARCHING SHOES: Ugly, comfy, and relatively inexpensive footwear. A bitch to clean.
MARCHING UNIFORM: An interesting garment designed to conveniently keep the wearer too hot in the afternoon and too cold at night, and be really itchy no matter what. You can not eat anything while in uniform.
MARK TIME: A concept that the matching band never seems to get.
MELLOPHONE: An instrument designed to be unable to tune, kill all freshman that attempt to keep the horn up, and make it impossible to snap.
MELODY: The loudest voice, usually carried by the trumpets or piccolos.
MEMORIZATION: An action that is supposed to take place in conjunction with sets and music between band camp and the commencement of the regular year, but does not generally happen.
MEZZO FORTE: The highest dynamic marking of any woodwind, excluding the piccolo.
MISTING: The meteorological term that directors use for saying, "It's raining, but we don't give a shit."
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: The drumline's favorite movie of all time; our second Bible.
MOUTHPIECE: A critical piece to a brass instrument, which is meant to be dropped or thrown onto grass, loud stages, and/or sometimes mud if not forgotten.
MOVEMENT: 1. Good thing to do so the conductor can't start a piece.
MOVIE NIGHT: A small get-together at someone’s house, where movies are played.
MUD: A substance that the school wishes to grow and therefore waters the field every night in hopes of increasing.
MUSIC: 1. Papers, which contain little black lines and dots with strange symbols that somehow, show what the music is, suppose to sound like. 2. The succession of these notes that, in theory, should sound good. Unfortunately, we're not all in Theory - we're in Marching Band.
NATURAL: Band music never sounds this way.
NEWBIE: Someone who has just started marching band. Tends to go around with a dazed look on his/her face. Also called a rookie.
NONHARMONIC TONES: Band rehearsal.
OBOIST: Insane people who decide they want to grapple with two reeds instead of just one.
OCTAVE DISPLACEMENT: "Where'd I put my music again?"
OLD DRUM HEADS: Any head busted that we use for our frisbee game.
ORDER OF COMMAND: 1. Directors; 2. Instructors (e.g. Mrs. Mathis with the guard); 3. Drum Majors; 4. Section Leaders; 5. Alumni; 6. Seniors; 7. Juniors; 8. Sophomores; 9. Freshmen.
PARADE REST: A form of supposed relaxation while standing up.
PARTIAL: No one has ever met a conductor who wasn't.
PEP BAND: A collection of at most 40 band fags that voluntarily, or sometimes because they're required to, get together to play disastrous cacophonies loudly during basketball games without rehearsing much and try to pass it off as music. Requires five more trumpets than ever show up and about 20 less flutes and clarinets that show up.
PERCUSSION: The group of instruments hit by mallets or sticks that keep some beat or another.
PERCUSSIONIST: Someone who can't blow into an instrument and push keys at the same time. Surprisingly, they have no trouble talking while banging sticks on something. They lurk in the back of the band room and play weird instruments that most people wouldn’t touch. (Exception to the rule is the “VIBRASLAP”)
PERFECT CHORD: Something that nobody can play, except for Joyce He.
PERFECTION: That will never happen.
PIANO: The thing everyone would rather play than his or her instrument.
PICCOLO: A high-pitched instrument similar to that of the flute, only you can actually hear that it's out of tune.
PIT: Percussion instruments that have pitches (like a piano) that play either half a beat earlier or later than the band, opposite of the drumline.
PIT SECTION LEADER: The leader of the pit, that just does what the other drumline section leaders tell him to do.
PITCH PIPE: A round, harmonica-like device used to tune timpani. It is usually lost or it is dicarded in favor of playing the notes on the marimba.
PLUME: The most dangerous part of the full uniform because of its flammability: takes 2 seconds to burn properly. Has been done away with, but you can still find the odd plume in the loft. We now have them back.
PRACTICE: Don't worry about it. Musicians never do it anyway.
PRACTICE ROOM: A place people go to make out, fiddle with the pianos, argue, or basically do anything BUT practice.
PRECIPITATE: Rain, snow, hail, etc. Something that is not good before football games.
PSEUDO-FAG: Somebody who isn't in band but thinks he is. Attends band parties, competitions, and rehearsals. Usually this is a significant other of a band fag. This is not to be confused with a former band fag, or graduated band fag. (See also wannabe band fag.)
PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION (P.D.A.): A touchy (literally) subject among band fags or former fags. Something that happens regardless of what rules exist or peer pressure is made on them. Something that happens on the bus, in the stands, during water breaks, in the band locker room, and just about anywhere else where the rest of the band is forced to watch the couple be disgustingly cutesy together.
PUSH-UPS: Something you have to do when you do something wrong. Usually done in increments or multiples of five or ten. Designed as a method of self-discipline. (We now can’t give them out because of some band parents. Jerks!)
QUINTS: See Quads.
RAIN TURTLE: A turtle is drawn in the gravel and band geeks spit into the middle of it. Legend is that it will rain if enough people spit into it to let practice out early.
REED: 1. A piece of wood that makes a great excuse for not playing well (particularly for brass instruments) if broken or brand new. Usages: "Sorry, new reed," or "I broke my reed." 2. A device used to efficiently cut one's finger.
REHEARSAL: The event that goes on in the band room. Talking is generally prohibited, but is okay as long as nobody catches you.
RESETTING: Definitions vary by sections. Woodwind: Wander aimlessly for 3 minutes and talk quietly. Brass: Run as fast as you can back to your set yelling at the top of your lungs and slipping in the mud then doing pushups. Drum line: Wander and swear as you walk slowly back to your set. Color guard: Prance back to your set and avoid getting hit by stupid, yelling brass players. Pit: Sit there and laugh your @$$ off while you watch this 3 minutes of confusion.
RESOLUTION: An oath frequently made by music teachers, e.g.: "I'll never use that song again!"
REST: What tuba players do during rehearsal. Also known as: zzzz...
RIFLE: 1. A white-colored piece of wood used by the color guard that is intended for injury of band or color guard members and breakage of nails. 2. An impressive show of arm strength and coordination by the color guard. Unfortunately, live ammo is not granted as well.
ROLL-STEP: Method by which the band fags should walk if their shoes were round on the bottom. Not bouncing.
SAXOPHONE: A weirdo mutant woodwind that is made of brass, but still considered a woodwind. Basically, a big metal clarinet. Usually only played at bars where people are too drunk to care how badly it sounds.
SCRUBS: White pants that were once worn over uniform pants to keep them from getting dirty, but have now been replaced by bleacher covers. (Thank you Mama Neis!) Now scrubs are only worn as a replacement for uniform pants when the field is very very very very very muddy.
SECTION: A group of people who play the same instrument, think it's the best, and go to great lengths to prove it.
SECTION LEADER: Leader of a section who tries to keep their section out of complete chaos in order to make themselves look good.
SENIOR: A source of constant guilt trips and constant humping.
SENIORITY: Why the older people get to go first. (Tradition)
SEQUINS: Small, faceted ornaments sewn to a performer's costume which sparkle in the lights and always come off.
SHARP: Flutes are usually this.
SHINGLE: How to use seniority to get shotgun. (Ex:
Freshman says "Shotgun!" Senior says "Shingles!" Senior gets shotgun.)
SHUT-UP: The most common phrase that the drumline hears.
SIXTEENTH NOTE: Everyone breathes on this one, too (see EIGHTH NOTE).
SLOUCHING: An action best displayed at pep band concerts. Even if it’s bad for playing, it’s great for the back!
SMOOTH: Something saxophone players think they are.
SNARES: The drummers that act like they know everything but usually don't.
SOLOIST: Someone who thinks he is God (ask about Will Gregg).
SOPHOMORE: A freshman with a BAnD attitude.
SOUSAPHONE: An instrument that adds bass to the band. Can play any note as long as it’s a low G. When two of them talk to each other, it is called The Mating Call of the North American Sousaphone.
SPOCK DRUM: The smallest drum on the quints, you can hear it a mile away. “Live long and prosper!” said the little drum.
SPRINKLERS: An offensive tackler of pit and color guard.
SQUEAKY: The only sign that the woodwind reeds give that they are actually playing. Also, the noise that music stands make.
STANDING: What brass-line does at band camp. Woodwinds are not able to accomplish this feat due to their weak legs.
STICK BAG: The trash can of the drumline. A bag that we can put “Stick” into.
STICK WADDLE: This is when center snare (“Stick”) runs across the field with his snare between his legs.
STOP LIGHT: one of the objects the band faces while marching block. [East]
STRAIGHT LINE: The curviest thing in the world.
STRESS: Band causes too much.
TEMPO: The correct beat, usually (but not always) carried by the conductor.
TEMPO CHANGE: The signal for the musicians to ignore the conductor.
TENOR HEADS: Heads that will only last a week from Stevo playing on them.
TENOR-SAXOPHONE: An instrument similar to the bari-saxophone, except it matches the pitch of a trombone or baritone.
THE FRONT: one of the objects the band faces while marching block. [South]
TROMBONE: A slide whistle with delusions of grandeur. The easiest brass instrument to master. Also works as a double weapon: can be used either to blow spit at people or bonk people with the slide. The loudest and therefore most spirited (or possibly just most annoying) section of the band.
TROMBONIST: A person whose fingers are too slow to move to different fingerings for whole notes and rests, and therefore play instruments that involve shoving a slide back and forth. (Exception to the rule is the trigger trombone. "Cheaters!")
TRUMPET: An instrument that is designed to make a band sound better. The idea is that if the trumpets play loud enough, you can't hear the rest of the band, so only the trumpets' mistakes are heard, not everyone else's.
TRUMPET PLAYER: Wimps who want to play a brass wind, but don't have enough creativity or lung capacity to play anything but a little knot of metal.
TUBA: An instrument that is much larger than its name.
TUNE: The condition when all instruments are within half a step of each other.
TUNER: A paperweight.
TUNING: A period of time in which one instrument holds a note and everyone in the band tries to match the pitch. The following consequences usually result: all the clarinets get in tune with each other, but are almost a half step behind the trumpets, who still aren't as sharp as the flutes, and no one even wants to talk about the piccolo. Meanwhile, the trombonists are playing anything and hoping the director won't notice, the French horns still don't know what's going on, the bassoonist is doing something all their own, and no one can hear a thing over the percussionists talking.
TUNING FORK: The point where, after holding the same pitch for so long, the instrument everyone is tuning to starts going flat.
VALVE OIL: Exquisitely tasteful with a twist of lemon. A form of currency for brass players.
WAR: A battle between the band and the cheerleaders on who can cheer the loudest during a football game.
WARM UPS: Things drummers use to make other band members mad, upset, and unable to talk or hear anything.
WATER BREAK: A time to talk and get water-logged.
WENDY’S: Fast-food restaurant which, for matters of tradition, *must* be visited almost every time during band camp.
WHITE SHED: one of the objects the band faces while marching block. [West]
WHOLE NOTE: Bassoonists can't hold one.
WHOLE STEP: 22 and a 1/2 inches.
WIND CHIMES: The "DEVIL" instrument. Need we say more?
WOODWINDS: 1. A TRUE SIGN THAT GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR. 2. A biological mistake.
ZIPPERS, BUTTONS, ECT: Things on the uniform that either don't work or just aren't there.
ZZZ: The sound you hear on the bus ride home.
Well, you made it to the end. Congratulations. Thank you for taking time to read this LONG dictionary.