...someplace for orphan thoughts to find shelter.
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2|10|02
Well, here's the most interesting thing so far. My roommate just told me the other day that she was moving out. "When?" I asked, thinking that it would be at the end of the quarter. "Um, tomorrow." TOMORROW?!? Now, don't get me wrong, my roommate is great. She's friendly, and pretty easygoing, and all, but our room is about three times the size of the usual dorm room here at Central. This whole thing is going to belong to nobody but ME? DAMN! So by Tuesday she was gone, and since then I've been doing a whole lot or rearranging and stuff. I pushed the beds together to make the biggest dorm bed you've ever seen, which is so nice when you toss and turn in your sleep like me. All the shelves belong to me now. Both desks. But it is lonely. I mean, she did take the TV.
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1|8|02
Well, I suppose that I can go ahead and give the name of the "prospect". Congrats, Chaz. :o) Kudos to Monkey (aka Kristi) for the pushes she gave to both of us. Nothing to bring an inevitable relationship to blossom like peer intervention.
I will now proceed with the happy dance. :oD
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1|6|02
I think it's funny how I am such a forward person in theory, but when it comes to doing things, I am such a wimp. I hate this contradictory nature within me, because I know I want what I'm going after, but I can't make myself go after it. (Or him, whatever.) Sigh. I know I'll achieve my goal if I go after it, but I'm so scared to take that first step.
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1|3|02
Well, back in school, and glad to be here too. Break was fun, and I was glad to see my friends, but it's nice to be back here among my other friends.
A funny thing happened today. I was walking back to the music hall because, like the doofus I am, I left my keys there and walked all the way home. On my way to fetch them, I was walking past a fellow who greeted me with a smile and a "Hello, Harmony."
Harmony?, I thought. I realized then that he thought I was a friend of his.(or was trying out some really corny pickup scheme.)
As he got closer, he realized his mistake and said, "oh, you're...not Harmony." I smiled and we introduced ourselves. His name is John. We talked for a minute about our destinations, then went on. Like nothing happened.
Kinda funny, huh? A random person appearing in your life like that. I don't know if I'll ever see him again, but he brightened up my day. Here I was grumbling about being so forgetful, and he perked me up. Do you ever wonder how many people know you as that kind of person? One of those people who come into your life as quickly as they disappear? But they make a mark on you, however small.
Kinda cool. Think about how many people you've affected in your life. Makes you want to stay positive, eh? Make things good for us all? Good deal.
I think the prospect is clueless, but I think he's catching on.
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12|31|01
Ah, the end of the year. New Year's Eve. I think everybody likes the idea of putting a lid on the things that have happened this year, and starting fresh. The unfortunate thing is that we really can't do any of that. Think about it. Come January 1, 2002, the war in Afghanistan is still on, the twin towers are still a heap of rubble, and Oregon still has a 7.4% unemployment rate. At least we're #1 in something! The appeal that the new year does have, however, is that what we can change is the way we view things. I, for one, am making a big effort to change the way I view myself. I gotta stop getting down on myself. And stop procrastinating. And start forcing my lazy self to practice harder, more often, and with more enthusiasm. Yeah! I can do it! Still not gettin' kissed on New Years. Damn.
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12|20|01
Actually, this is late on the night of the 19th. But that technically means that it's early in the morning of the 20th. Ah the hell with it... So yes, I'm up. Thinking about how strange it is to be home again. Like Cerra said tonight, "There is a reason that high school ends when you're 18." I have become so independent, even in these last couple of months, that living with the people who raised me has suddenly become a challenge. I have other peoples' schedules to worry about, other peoples' feelings, sharing the computer (one of the hardest things, lemme tell ya.)...I mean, it's just tough stuff. My mom foresaw this happening. She told me that once I left for school, this would never really feel like my home again. Sure, it's with family, and so it feels comfortable, but she's right. This is no longer my home. I'm the little baby bird who has grown up to be a big bird, and I want to fly on my own, but for the next two weeks I am still stuck in the nest. I think it's gonna work out, but who knows. My friend Cerra and I have both been single for a long time. Lately, a prospect has appeared for both of us, and so things are getting a little more interesting. But regardless, I still think I'll be kiss-less come midnight of December 31st. Still, I have never been kissed at midnight on New Years' Eve. Depressing, isn't it? Nineteen years and I still have never managed to get one. You'd think that with my extensive (haha good one) dating track record there'd be at least one...but nope. *sigh* Things will work out eventually, I know. And eventually I'll have a midnight kiss every New Years. But for now, it feels like there's never gonna be one. Are there better things for me to think about? Yes. Do they really seem to matter as of now? Not particularly. The angst of being 19. Not quite adult, not quite kid.
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12|19|01
Don't ask me why this got started. I don't have that much to say in a journal, or whatever this is. At least not now. But it seems to be the trend in my friends' websites, so why not? I mean, it's not like anyone ever really reads my website. BustABuckt: but eventually...once you realize, people DO read this, you'll write more All right then, I stand corrected, Steven. His website is awesome, check it out. In the meantime, this is the first time I've tried to do something consistent on my website. Why? Why not? I mean, I'm considering minoring in computer science, so I might as well think about learning how to operate my own website. But I guess that there's a reason behind it too, something more subconscious. There's something gratifying about putting your mind out on a platter for people to poke with sticks. Not that I'm morbid or anything like that, but I like the idea of people reading about the weird little thoughts inside my head. So, welcome to this...whatever it ends up becoming.
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