Dont Wander through this glassy surface
expecting to find more than me
'Cause what am I without a purpse
But a lone mirage to see
~Hanson
I pulled up to the place where I spend most of my childhood Tulsa Oklahoma, the yard in front of me looked so firmilar still full of life. The small house that looked like a wooden cabin held many memories for me. I looked around the house to see the woods I used to play in and the tire swing in the front yard on the big tree. The white van still in it's same place in the driveway. I took in a deep breath and smelled the air souroudning me it remnided me of the worst day of my life after my mothers funeral after killing herself becuase of my fathers acholic tendencies, I was sent to live with my Aunt and forced to be apart from the only person besides my mother who truley cared about me and never hurt me until this day.
Flashback....1998
"Taylor I dont want to leave you we've known each other since we were born.. I can't just get up and go", I looked into his baby blue eyes as I tucked my shouldure legnth reddish brown hair behind my ears as tears fell from my hazel eyes. My greenday t-shirt getting soaked by the tears.
"You'll be fine without me.. your strong Jina...",he told me. I placed my fingers through his long locks of blonde hair. He pulled away from me a little then went in for a quick hug and pulled away. I looked at him confused of his actions.
"Without you...", I repeated.
"It has to end sooner or later Jina we both know that.. we can't keep a long distance relationship your going to Cali I mean I haven't seen you in a while because of touring.. and it's just better this way.. you do understand dont you we're only 15 I can't be commited to you for the rest of my life.. we should move on.. see other people",he told me.
"I guess your right.. things happend for a reason.. and I guess the death of my mother was a good way to tell us... to move on.. bye Taylor",the bye Taylor part was said in only a whisper I could hardly speak my words my breath my soul was taken out of me. My best friend in the entire world didn't want to be in my life as I stepped away from him he quickly turned me around planting one last kiss on my lips, I pushed him away my eyes closed tight as I turned back towards the car they opened and I forced myself to stop crying, and Ive been dying inside ever since.....
*End Flashback*
I slowly walk up the Hanson house the Summer air hung low and heavy as I made my way to the wooden door. It was Mackenzi's 9th birthday party and Mrs. Hanson had called me up and invited me becuase Mackie wanted me to be there. I flew in from California to spend my summer in the middle states AkA Oklahoma trying to find an excuse to visit my mothers grave which was going to be an obstical in itself. I rang the doorbell and I heard some commotion and a soothing female voice. I looked down at myself, I hadn't actually been dressed up I was wearing a MADE tank top with a pair of semi nice looking jeans. My hair tied up in a ponytail. The door opened and Mrs. Hanson stood in the doorway her hair still long and beautiful.
"Jina sweeti you made it",she brought me into a hug and I hugged her back I could feel tears already starting as I took in her scent. I pulled away my hazel eyes began to water.
"Hi Mrs. Hanson how are you I missed you guys soo much", I told her as she brought me inside.
"We're doing great",she said leading me around to the back of the house, she opened the sliding glass doors I didn't pay attention to the inside of the house fearing the memories of Taylor and the fact that he was now married with a son irked me even more. We entered the backyard onto the wooden deck I saw tons of new and old faces. Then I saw him Taylor sitting at the table with the baby in the baby seat and his beautiful wife Natalie sat beside him tossing her long black hair behind her shouldures. She brought me down to them I watched as Taylor's eyes wandered towards me and his eyes grew big. I saw him get up and I shut my eyes for a quick secodn and went they were open he was a few steps closer, Mrs. Hanson stepped aside.
"Jina?",Taylor was now standing 5 inches in front of me. I could feel my eyes swelling up in the distance Zac and Isaac appeared walking closer. I couldn't help myself the tears rolled down my pale cheeks. I felt his arms wrap around my body as I cried.
