River
I opened the bedroom door to make my way inside after washing up from our trip that afternoon. I looked to see blankets piled on the floor and some pillows in front of the red brick colored fire place that was in the room. The fire was blazing and Ike was sitting there pushing around the flames with a stick. He heard the floor creak and turned around to find me. He smiled.
"I thought a camp fire would be nice",he told me. I smiled at him he really wanted a relationship badly. I figured I'd go along with his cute attempt at romance. I sat down next to him and layed my head on his shouldure. I was only in a tank top and my scooby boxers. I felt him began to kiss my freshly cleansed shouldures pushing my wet locks of hair to the other side. He turned me around and began to kiss my colar bone. I was facing him now my eyes closed tightly. He pulled my straps down my arm a little and continuted to kiss my shouldures. I reached down with my eyes closed to pull his shirt off. I leaned in and let him kiss my body as he took my tank top off. After both of us were shirtless he pulled the some blankets over our bodies. The next moment we were both nakid under the blanket together. He gently got on top of me and began to kiss my neck and eventually my lips. After settling in he started to kiss my neck again then he looked up at me.
"Tell me if im hurting you or if im going to fast okay?",he questioned all I could do was nodd with a moan. I began to kiss his colar bone as I rubbed his back gently.
~*~
*The next night*
"Hey guys",Taylor stated stepping aside to let them into his house. It was a small but suitable house. Taylor and Natalie had invited us over that night for some coffee and cake just to sit and chat. It was already Ezra's bed time so he was sound asleep in his room. Natalie and I went into the kitchen to make some coffee. I sat down at the little round table in the middle of the kitchen. They had a green kitchen with green marble counters. Right above the sink was a window with cute green flowered cutrains.
"You seem really quiet tonight can I ask you whats bothering you?",Natalie question as she sat down next to me for a few minutes while the coffee was being made.
"You can talk to me... I know you probabally hate me for marrying Taylor but...",she began to say I had to cut her off I didn't hate her not literaly anyways. There was nothing I could do about the fact that she had Taylor.
"It's not that!", I tell her. She looks at me.
"Is it Ike?",she questioned. I nodded my head. I could feel the tears welding up in my eyes. She moved her chair closer to me.
"What happend did you two have a fight?",she questioned. I kept my stare on the table thinking back to the night before and what had happend.
"I lost my virginity to him",I couldn't face her I could feel the heat of her stare she was in shock.
"Whats wrong with that I thought you liked him?",she questioned.
"I do it's just.."
"You wish it was Taylor?",she questioned.
"Oh gosh no! I can't think of him like that anymore.. I feel horable still having feelings for Taylor.. and for even thinking that throughout the day.. and when it happend.. I just.. Im scared",I finally said it. Ive been afraid to fall in love since Taylor and after what happend with my parents Taylor is the only guy I could fall for. In Cali I dated but I couldn't be serious with anyone because I was still in love with Taylor.
"It's alright to be scared",she told me sweetly placing her arm around me. I leaned closer and cried on her shouldure she hugged me.
"If you want to call me and talk to me.. im here for you.. alright? I dont want to be your ememy I wanna be your friend.. so please talk to me",she said.
"Thank you Natalie.. it's hard.. but I know I can handle it.. and well this whole losing my virginity to Ike.. it's all too much for me.. it kinda scared me you know what I mean? It's Ike.. and Im worried about the 10 million things that can happen.. and everything is going crazy up there", I said pointing to my head.
"I understand..".
"WHERE'S MY COFFEE!!!",Taylor peered his head into the kitchen as I wiped my tears.
"Opps sorry girls.. girl talk?",Taylor questioned Isaac came up behind him.
"Yeah girl talk",I said with a smile hiding the redness in my eyes and my tear stained cheeks. I saw Isaac staring at me and he gave me that look the whole night.
~*~
Ike shut the door and I began to walk towards my room, Isaac and I hadn't talked the whole way home the whole thing with the kitchen confused him. As I settled into bed I heard a knock at the door. I had tears pouring from my eyes and I made sure I wiped them before he could see.
"Come in", I said. The door creeked open leaving some light to shine in. He walked to the side of the bed that I was facing and turned on the lamp which was on the dresser next to the bed. He looked down at me and ran his hands through my hair. He then kneeled down on the floor next to the bed and with his other hand he took one of my hands.
"Are you crying?",he questioned. I nodded.
"You alright?",he asked. I shook my head no.
"Talk to me come on",he said placing his hand on my cheek. He kissed my forehead. I looked into his chocolate brown eyes and stared into them for what seemed like an extremely long time until he broke the silence by saying....
"Do you still love Taylor?",he questioned.
~*~
A few weeks later
"You beat me for once",Taylor laughed. We were in the park we had always went to when we were kids we would always race down this little hill and I had finally beat him. This is where our first kiss happend.......
*Flashback*
"Taylor your such a cheater I cannot believe you",I said crossing my arms as we got to the bottom of the little hill.
"You know your just a sore loser",he came closer to me.
"Am not!",I yelled.
"Am too",he teased. He pushed me and I pushed him back. Finally gaining enought stregth I knocked him to the ground. I started to crack up.
"You think thats funny dont you?",he questioned grabbing my ankles bringing me down on top of him. I looked into those baby blue eyes the ones I couldn't ever forget. We both leaned in letting our lips touch quickly.
"YOur a cheater!",I yelled keeping the aquardness level down.
*End Flashback*
"Now who's the cheater",he snickered.
"Hey no fair.. you were and always will be the main cheater",I argued with him.
"We sound like kids",he said with a laugh.
"Ohh I know",I told him with a smirk. There was an aquard silence.
"So you and Natalie getting to be better friends?",he questioned me as we both took a sip of our Dannon water and sat down on a wooden park bench. Taylor shook his head like he always did making his hair move.
"Yeah.. she gives great advice...",I said taking a sip of water.
"You girls talking about how sexy iam",he stated proudly.
"Yeah Taylor thats exaclty what we talk about",I said rolling my eyes.
"Hey biotch!"he stated hitting my arm. I laughd and hit him back. After a few punches back and forth I stopped. I looked down and remembered what happend the first time we started to push each other at this park.
"Whats the matter with you??",he questioned his playful tone turned serious.
"I think Im going back to Cali", I told him I looked away.
"Your what already no but you can't Jina",he grabbed my hand. I looked down at our hands then into his baby blue eyes.
"I thought coming back here.. would help me.. get over you but it's making it worse me and Ike haven't had a full conversation since that night we were at your house. We talk every now and then but something happend..", I looked down.
"And also....", I took a gulp.
"Im late Taylor", I told him.
"Late for what your flight you leaving today?",he questioned him the confused look on my face made me want to laugh but I just couldn't find it in me to laugh.
"My period Taylor Hanson! Im 2 weeks late",I told him.
"I didn't sleep with you dont blame me!", he stated trying to make me laugh. Still didn't work.
"Wait.. you slept with Isaac didn't you?",he questioned.
"I lost my virginity to him... I was scared in the beginning now Im even more scared... Taylor Im not ready to have a commitment like you and Nat.. it hurts to much to be commitied to one person... I can't do it with anyone else but you... I kow thats ridiculous I just.....",I could feel the lump in my throat as I tried not to cry but it was too late tears were forming.
"Dont say that.. come on... you and Isaac were having such a great relationship... I thought you guys really liked each other",he said.
"I DONT WANT A F*CKING BABY TAYLOR! IM SCARED!",I yelled causing a few pigeons to scatter.
"I want you to take me to the doctors", I lowered my voice.
"Can you do that for me? please? after I find out... I think I want to leave",I told him. He looked at me.
"Ill go with you",he told me embracing me in his arms for comfort.
~*~
"Hey Taylor",Natalie said as she was rocking Ezra back and forth. Taylor looked like he had just seen a ghost. He sat down next to Nat still staring off into space.
"Whats the matter Tayles?",she questioned getting up and putting Ezra in his play pen then sitting back down next to Taylor.
"Jina's leaving",Taylor sighed looking down at his feet.
"It's all my fault too",he looked up at her with watery eyes.
"Taylor honey it's not your fault she's leaving",Natalie tried reassuring him.
"She's not over me Nat it's my fault. and the fact that she's pregnant with Isaacs baby doesn't help things much.. and now she's leaving.. I went with her to the doctors she got tested 2 days ago.. and today was the results.. you should of seen her breakdown Nat my heart broke just watching her",Taylor looked at Nat with tears in his eyes.
"Baby it's okay",Natalie brought Taylor into a hug as he cried a little.
~*~
I could hardly see what I was packing into my suitcase the tears were falling so much. I looked at the bed and placed the envelope with Ikes name on it down onto the white bed sheets. I placed it on the pillow and proped it up leaving a rose too. I made sure there was a cab waiting for me as I ran away.
"Jina are you here?",Isaac questioned he had come home from a long day of driving around and thinking about the past few weeks. He opened the bedroom door and looked closley to see an envelope on the bed. He walked over to the bed and sat down slowly opening up the sealed envelope and taking out the paper inside.
Dearest Isaac,
I can't stand hurting you anymore so thats why Iam doing what Iam about to do. No this is't a suicide note this is a note saying goodbye Im going back to Cali. Today I discovered something I may still love Taylor.. but Isaac Hanson Im in love with you. Also I discovered a little thing inside of me... it'll be arriving in 9 months if you catch my drift. Isaac that night was amazing I will never forget it... I need to get away.. Im scared please dont follow me. Im sorry for hurting you even more.. I just needed to go.. I understand if you hate me it's alright Im a horable person. I hope you find someone else who wont hurt you as much as I do.
Love Always,
Jina
Isaac began to feel his brown eyes tear up.He held the letter to his chest and let tear after tear fall. He had to find out what flight she was one. He quickly jumped into his SUV and drove as fast as he could over to Taylors. He rung the door bell so many times hoping to get an answer. Natalie opened the door.
"Isaac!",she seemed shocked.
"Where's Jina.. please please tell me",he began to feel the tears fall from his eyes.
"Come in Isaac I think Taylor knows",Natalie let him in and showed Isaac to Taylor who was sitting back on the couch in a blank stare.
"Taylor what flight did she take?",Isaac questioned sitting next to his brother. Taylor slowly turned his head and looked at him.
"She took the 8:00 flight.. to LA",he said.
"Taylor get Ezra we'll drive him he's in no condition to drive",Natalie stated grabbing her purse. They all agreed and were on the way to the airport.
"Ike we'll be here if you need us",Taylor said as they slowly walked behind him. Isaac agreed and ran off into the airport to look for her. It was like a big empty space it was all white it felt like a dream to Isaac. So many people rushing around he didn't know where to go.
~*~
I looked down at my watch 7:45 then I looked back up at the lady standing at the gate. She smiled at me.
"Welcome to flight 920",she said with a smile ripping my ticket.
"Enjoy your flight mam",she said letting me on. I boarded the plane finding my seat. I sat by the window and watching the people below ridng around on those little carts I began to cry again. I sat there for about a half an hour.
"Excuse me whats the hold up?",I questioned some flight attendent who was walking around.
"There's rain coming and we wanna make sure it's not going to interfere we'll be taking off shortly",she said with a smile. I sighed and looked back out the window.
"SIR YOUR NOT ALOUD ON THE PLANE WITHOUT A TICKET!",someone yelled. I looked up to see Ike stumble onto the plane. My eyes grew wide. I took a big gulp. He looked at me with his loving eyes. I could feel my heart crying for him to just take me into his arms and hold me. He ran over to me the attendance standing close trying to get him. He sat down next to me.
“I love you”,he said taking my hands.
“Ike you have to go”, I said not wanting to say it but I had to I couldn’t of fallen in love with him that easily or could I.
“Im not leaving you Jina... please come back to Tulsa.. you need me to take care of you.. you can’t raise a kid on your own”,he told me.
“Im perfectly....... okay no im not capable of handling it by myself IM NOT FUCKING READY!”,I screamed.
“Im going to have to ask you two to leave the plane this instant”,the pilot was now involved in the fight.
“Ms. your bags are waiting for you”,the pilot said. I didn’t even look at them having no idea what anyone looked like. I rushed out of the plane and Isaac not far behind me.
“Jina!”,I heard his voice call. I had to stop my body made me stop. I felt his arms wrap around my body turning myself around I wrapped my arms tightly around him.
“We dont have to get married okay.. lets just worry about the baby.. im not asking you to marry me.. Im asking you to be my girlfriend... and the mother of our beautiful baby... you dont have to be my wife if your not ready.... Im not ready to be a husband either.... just stay please”,he held me tighter I felt his tears sofly fall onto my skin.
“I love you soo fucking much”,I said.
“Of course only you curse when you tell me you love me”,he laughed a little.
