This Time Around
I pushed myself away looking into Taylors baby blue eyes he was the only thing I could see he was still perfect he stil had that perfect everything about him. He wiped away a tear and looked at me. I saw Natalie stand up.
"Im sorry", I stepped back a little and looked at the two as she put her arm inside of Taylors.
"Jina right?",she sweetly questioned. I hate her and him look at this she's beautiful and sweet something Taylor deserves this isn't right I shouldn't be here, just then Isaac and Zac walked foward.
"Yeah",I wiped some tears away she shook my hand.
"Dont be sorry.. it's nice to meet you Im Natalie.. Taylor says such sweet things about you",she smiled sincerley the kind of smile you know is a truthful one.
"Oh.. I guess thats a good thing",I laughed a little a smile shinning through my tears.
"Why dont you and Taylor talk get reaquainted.. I dont mind.. go ahead Tayles",she said pushing him slightly. Tayles ahh that was my favorite thing to call Taylor.
"First I'd like to give this hot chick a hug", I heard Isaac say from behind Taylor. I smiled at him and he came closer to me. I looked into his brown eyes and then got embraced into his hug. His arms wrapped tightly around me. Why does this feel so good? Isaac used to watch me and Taylor when my Dad would have his fits and my mom wanted me out of the house I used to have the biggest crush on him up until i was 12 when Taylor and I started liking each other, it was kiddie love but still. I pulled away and everyone was staring.
"Long enough hug you guys?",Zac questioned waiting to get in on the action as he threw his big muscular arms around my small body.
"Zac squishing my insides.. ack!", I stated laughing. He laughed and pulled away.
"Your hair looks good like that", I told him he just smiled.
"Ready to reminiss?",Taylor questioned. I smiled and nodded my head as he playfully put his arm around me and smiled. I turned back to see Ike watching us walk away. We walked into the firmilar front yard where I was a few minutes earlier. We sat down under the big tree.
"Look",he pointed a little higher above our heads. I looked up at the tree to see something I remember doing just like it was yesterday....
*Flashback... October 1996*
"So your leaving tommorow Tayles....your going to be big and famous..",I told him. Taylor and I were only 13 years old and just gotten into giving each other kisses becuase before then it was gross.
"Yeah.. Im going to miss you....", he said looking down his chrystal blue eyes tearing up.
"I have an idea", his head popped up and he pulled out his carving knife from his pocket.
"We're going to carv our names on this tree.. and no matter how old we are.. if we are boyfriend and girlfriend best friends worst ememies one day we are going to come back to this tree and just sit here and catch up on the days we missed.....",he looked at me and my eyes began to tear as he carved his name Jordan Taylor Hanson into the tree.
*Flashback End*
"I wanna show you something too", I told him taking my hands and revealing a necklace that was around my neck.
"I gave you that for your 10th birthday.. isn't it a locket.. and our pictures from when we were 3 are in it?',he questioned me. I opened it up tears falling from my eyes a smile crept across my face as his hand touched the locket and looked at the picture.
"We could of remained friends you know that right?",he said.
"I know that Taylor you didn't call.. I mean wait what am I saying.. I should of called.. but I was mad at you.. you broke up with me.. I was.. angry", I looked down.
"It's okay to be angry.. I was angry at myself",he told me.
"I wish things could of been different.. but look at you know.. Mr. Hanson with a beautiful baby... and a beautiful wife.. looks like you got what you wanted out of life", I reminded him of that time he told me one day he wanted to get married and have a baby boy well his wish came true I wish I was the proud mother of his child but that just wans;'t the way it was.
"Jina.. you have a lot going for you.. dont say that..", he said.
"Could you do me a favor Jordan?",I questioned him he knew that when ever I used his real name I ment something.
"Help me.. go see my mother.. please.. I need someone there.. and your the only one.. who I can go with.. because Taylor you were there for me.. and can you?",I questioned him.
"Lets go now",he told me.
~*~
I placed my warm hand onto the cold gray tombstone I looked at the writing. Helen Ann Harding Loved by her Family and Friends April 4 1957-July 5th 1998. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks Taylor placed his hand on my shouldure and I went to hug him again. He was rubbing my back.
"Everythings okay Jina.. your mom is very proud of you.. she loves you",Taylor said.
"And I love you too.. your my best friend.. dont think differently.. and dont shy away from me again.. alright.. I dont wanna lose you",he told me.
"Thank you Taylor.. thank you for brining me here.. thank you soo much",I held him tighter.
"Your going to be fine.. you ready to go back?",he questioned.
"Can you give me a few mintues?",I questioned him with a smile. He nodded and gave me a friendly kiss on the forehead and left me and mother to talk.
~*~
"Jina Jina",an older looking Mackie said. Me and Taylor had just came back to the house after grabbing a little snack on the way home. Mackie looked a lot different then the last time I saw him he looked like he could of been Zac's mini me. He ran into my arms and I bent down slightly to hug him. Taylor walked passed me with a smile on his face.
"Where's my present?",he questioned as I stepped back a little. He was wearing orange pladded shorts to show off his chubby legs and an orange shirt. I looked at him.
"In the car.. Ill go get it later.. becasue it's special",I told him. He smiled and went off to play. I looked over at the table where Natalie,Taylor,Isaac,and Zac were sitting and made my way over to them.
"You can sit over here", Isaac told me. I smiled at him and sat myself down on the other side of Taylor and Natalie in between Isaac and Zac.
"Jina.. where are you staying while you are here?",Natalie questioned feeding the baby boy on her lap.
"The Tulsa Inn. that motel on Route 29",I told her.
"No your not",Isaac said hitting my arm. I looked at him with a weird look. His brown eyes staring back into my eyes.
"What do you mean no im not?",I questioned him. Everyone grew silent and now focused their attention on Ike and I.
"Stay with me Jina.. you dont want to stay in the shitty place.. it's not very nice.. come stay with me in my apartment.. you can take the bed I'll take the couch.. and it's free.. your gonna need to save up money this summer.. cuz it's a long summmer.. stay with me",he said again. Everyone looked at Ike like he had 10,000 heads. I looked at everyone Taylor shrugged his shouldures.
"I dont want to intrude", I said.
"You wont be I promise.. just stay with me you need someone to hang out with this summer.. why not let it be me",he said as a smile appeared over his face.
"I guess so.. thank you Ike",I said looking over at Taylor who looked really confused. I didn't understand why Isaac was being so generous I knew he had something up his sleve.
~*~
"Hey Jina",Natalie stated placing her plate into the sink. I looked around the country styled kitchen then back at her to meet her warming smile.
"Hi", I said with a smile. There was a really aquard period of silence we both loved the same man, except one of us had him and the other didn't.
"So your going to stay with Ike?",she questioned me as she leaned against the sink.
"Uhh I guess so it's weird that he offered I really dont mind staying at the motel",I said. She looked at me.
"When Taylor talked about you he never had the same look in his eyes as Isaac does... I mean.. I didn't mean to be rude about Taylor.. but.. im sorry I didn't mean it to come out that way",she tried to apologize.
"It's alright Ive been tyring to move past Taylor for years now..now tell me a litle about this Isaac look?",I questioned her with a smile. She looked at me and brought me over to the little dark wooden kitchen table and we sat down.
~*~
"Her beautiful eyes are all i want to see staring back at me like im staring into the sun....",Ike sat in the livingroom while everyone else was outside. He sat on the leather sofa in front of the brick fire place and played his blue Taylor Acoutic guitar. After talking with Natalie and bonding with her I heard singing in the next room. I slowly walked over to him listening to his beautiful voice. The voice that used to sing me to sleep when I was hurt and confused about my family life. I sat down next to him and he looked over at me with a smile and contined to sing. After a few minutes he stopped at looked over at me.
"That was beautiful Ike",I told him.
"Thanks it's going to be on the new album...",he told me.
"You sure you want me to stay over your house.. I mean I dont wanna impose Ike.. a mot....".
"Jina shut up it's fine",he said with a smile. I smiled back at him.
"Ill stay with you if you promise to sing me to sleep at least once",I looked at him with a smile and winked. He had a huge smirk on his face as he gently bumped his arm into mine.
"Of course babe",he stated just as we heard fire works going off. They were celebrating Mackie's b-day a little early and it was the 4th of July.
"Lets go watch the fire works",I pushed my arms through Ike's and we walked out front to observe the fireworks with the rest of the Hanson family and friends.
~*~
"Well here it is",Isaac stated showing me the big studio apartment that sourounded me. There was a 1 bedroom at the front of the stairs and a room upstairs with a bathroom next to the closet under the stairs. The livingroom and kitchen were all together. I looked down to see wooden floors below me. We had just picked up my stuff from the motel.
"Wow it's soo big.. very nice", I stated looking around. He led me to his bedroom.
"Here you can spend the summer in this room",he opened the two white doors with windows on them and curtains to cover the windows. The walls were white and he had a king sized bed and a dresser next to his bed. A few clothes tossed around the room.
"Are you sure you dont want this room I mean I can take the sofa it's fine.. with me.. ", I told him with a smile.
"Jina your never satisfied with what someone gives you are you?",he questioned no seriousness to his voice at all.
"Hmm.. let me think about that one Isaac..", I put my finger to my lips and pretended I was thinking.
"You enjoy teasing me dont you?",he questioned stepping closer.
"It's more of a hobby to tease you..then just enjoying it", I smirked and giggled a little as he grabbed me and began to tickle me in my tickelish spot which was on my hips.
"Hey Bozo! quit it!", I yelled as he threw me to the bed. He stopped at looked down at me.
"Dont look at me like that Isaac Hanson!", I said pushing him away with a big smile still on my face.
"Like what?",he questioned me, his brown eyes were soooo beautiful.
"Alright.. this is my room for the summer right??? so I kind of own it", I playfully questioned.
"Yeah.....",he was really close to me I was leaning back on the bed where he had pushed me then pushing myself up I said.
"Then get out so I can get some beauty rest",I told him.
"Yes master",he stated bowing in front of me. I crossed my arms and looked at him.
"Another attempt of Isaac Hanson trying to be funny", I stated.
"Whore!",he stated walking out.
"Slut!", I called back at him. Me and Ike always had our childish moments even when we were younger we'd always play fight and call each other names something me and Taylor only did during real arguments.
~*~
Dream.....
I could hear the bath water running and runnin and running. I slowly climbed out of my bed and opened the white wooden door. Slowly I made my way down the white carpeted hallway to the bathroom knocking on the door at the end of hallway.
"Ma I gotta go to the bathroom are you done?",no answer just the sound of water running. I felt my feet become moist as I looked down I saw a little puddle of water coming from undernieht the door.
"MOM!",I screamed a deafening scream as I pounded on the door. I pounded harder and harder until my hands were sore the water was coming out even more now and there was a tint of red to it as the puddle grew. I heard footsteps behind me as I looked to see my father standing there, he hadn't gone out drinking yet he must of just gotten home from work and just got prepared to go out drinking.
"What is it Jina?",he questioned looking down at his shoes which were being soaked my red water. He looked back up at me and ran towards the door. He was tall and had black hair and brown eyes.
"HELEN!",he screamed pounding at the door. I could feel my eyes tearing up as I knew exaclty what was happening the blood the water it was all making sense.
"Stand back Jina",he stated pushing me aside as he began to kick at the door, on his fifth try the door broke open and I ran passed him sliding to the tub coming close to knocking myself out. I reached my hands around the edge of the white bath tub. The green and white tile covered with water and the tub having a few red blood stains. He stood in the doorway walking slolwy inside. I reached over the side and looked down to see the most awful site ever.
"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO!", the tears fell fast from my tired eyes as I looked at her torn up body she had done this to herself to escape dad, she was the only thing keeping me alive and away from him.
......................
"Mom no no no no no no mom mom mom wake up please please",tossing and turning and sweating I was screaming It was soo real I felt a hand on my shouldure and jumped with fear as my eyes fluttered open to see Isaacs caring face sitting above me. My breath getting shorter by the second as tears and sweat poured down my face.
"Ohh Isaac it was horrable hold me please",I cried looking up at him. I was now trembling thinking back to the horable day it was the same dream I had been having for years except I never got up to the whole part where I actually remember looking in the tub. I felt his hand gently glide up and down my trembling body.
"Shhhh it's okay Im here....it's just a dream...",his grip tightened on me as I sobbed in his arms. He pushed me back a little and looked at me wiping my tears away with his soft hands. I looked into his brown eyes.
"Stay right there alright?",he questioned me. I nodded my head and he walked over to the corner of his room and picked up the acoustic guitar he had earlier at his parents home. He began to strum a few chords.
"When you have no light to guide you and no one to walk beside you I will come to you ohh I i will coem to you",he didn't care that he was singing taylors parts he just sung his heard out as I layed my head down on my pillow shutting my eyes to listen to his voice.
"Even if we can't be together we'll be friends now and forever....",he sang his part beautifully just as I had falled asleep. After the song was finnished Isaac placed the guitar down planting a sweet kiss on the top of my head and shutting the light off making his way out of the bedroom.
