Questions & Answers (Part VIII)
Specific answers to questions in these puzzling times.
This section is still under rewrite and should be finished - God willing shortly
Question Forty Eight: MT 5 Grace
Answer: Even if you think this applies for today (which it doesn’t. Read Questions ###), at “best” you can say - given what Paul says in 1 Corinithians - that Jesus is talking about the legal grounds (READ CIVIL GROUNDS )for a believers divorce AFTER AN UNBELIEVER LEAVES. It’s definitely NOT talking about the grounds for a believer divorce with another believer. (1 Cor 7:10,11). Believers should be able to whether the feelings / griefs of adultery (See Questions ###). Again read Question 44 and pay particular attention to the order in which you read the different things Paul is talking about.
BUT... I must disagree with the just assessment (in regards to Jesus speaking about ground for believers divorce with an unbeliever) as well as your conclusion, for in order to believe that MT 5 is talking about the ground for a believer’s divorce from an unbeliever TODAY is really a stretch and your forcing the text to say something that it’s not saying. Remember, you are looking at things said from two different covenants. It’s best - when looking at those grace passages - to see Jesus in a place of transition speaking to a group of people He is hoping to move on to a higher place then where they were. If you remember Question 37 you will remember that Jesus was being very gracious in giving this exemption for the pains of Adultery (as compared to the laws of Moses - DEATH), but he is trying to move the people to a higher place overall. Later in his ministry He would forgive an adulteress and that would also be something He would expect from His disciples too.
It’s best to look at Jesus words in MT 5 as just Him speaking to “children under the Law” with a different nature rather than trying to force Him to say something He is obviously not saying (i.e. grounds for a believers divorce from an unbeliever). Remember, Moses did not give the marriage laws the way God would have given them. The peoples hearts were not hard. Therefore everything Moses said in regards to marriage issues is suspect and really does not apply in any sense of the word to us today (i.e. people with a new soft heart). What Jesus said in the midst of those grace passages was a gracious improvement on where they were (i.e. stoning ) and was a clarification on the law Moses should have given if the peoples hearts were not hard (i.e. leaving for any old reason)
This is exactly where He should say it for He is speaking about grace under the law, as well as elaborating on the Spirit behind the Law. He was... Also Read Mathew 5:18. Once the Law accomplised it’s mission (i.e. leading people to Christ), the law was abolished. AND THAT INCLUDES THIS LEGALISTIC ASSESSMENT AS TO WHAT A PERSON COULD/ SHOULD DO IN THE CASE OF ADULTERY. I mean hey, do you really think a present day, New Covenant, New Nature, DISCIPLE of Jesus would divorce their spouse on the grounds of Adultery? Do you? Jesus forgave and restored, why can’t we? Read question 37 again, as well as the first page of the divorce section. Moses statments on marriage issues are really something that needs to be look at carefully, and one needs to remember that whenever on looks at Jesus statement in MT 5:31,32. Especially for a disciple of Jesus. How else do you explain 1 Cor 7:10, 11. Particularly the order of the people mentioned.
MT 5 fornication parrells discussion in Deut 24? for reasons, other reasons to divorce spouse. When Jesus talks about fornication being reason for divorce He’s reiterating a part on Moses reasons for divorce ( not the any reason at all stuff) but only the Godly ones that God would have only permitted if the peoples hearts were not hard...
Ck mt 19? same thing also said outside Grace passages!
Also MT 5 goes on to talk about oaths (right after his discussion on divorce) AND loving your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,. Turn the other cheek too. How does this apply to the above discussion?
(This question needs rewrite, but it’s a variation of the questions already asked, Particually question 37, but it’s a different slant on the question which needs to be addressed)
It is helpful to point out that most people in the anti - divorce camp do not see MT 5 as I see it, but camp see Matthew 5 as talking about divorce under the PRE- MARITAL contract (This type of contract was prevalent in Israel at the time ). IOW’s it doesn’t talk about Adultery - per say as the grounds for divorce but fornication (i.e. pre martial stuff, extra marital? check, Matthew written to Jewish Christians, extra martial always adultery? but takes force out of Jesus statement) AND THAT IS A VERY IMPORTANT and SIGNIFICANT DISTINCTION. (it does say fornication in the Greek) If this is true then it solves a lot of problems people in the anti divorce camp have been having with this verse, but I need to study it more, especially in light of the following part of the verse.)
I’m in the process of rewritting question 37 now and it will have a bearing on this verse
Question Forty Nine: What is the New Nature For? Feeling Good or Conquering?
Answer:
Question Fifty: Where does the issue of “fairness” come in? Why should I wait, deny myself and suffer if I am not the one who has broken the marriage contract? It’s just not fair.
Answer: Your right in some respects. Life may not be fair - this side of eternity. If life was “fair” then there would be no need for any kind of Judgment at the end of the world for there would be no unfairness (or evil) to judge.
The issue of fairness has caused believers to question God and His justice (Psalm). If you read the Psalm you will find that the Psalmist almost stumbled in His faith over the issue. It was only when he saw the true destiny of the individual involved (i.e. Hell) that he stoped his wondering.
The thing is this... When a spouse leaves a marriage covenant - particular a believing spouse - there is a very real possibility that their eternal destiny is in Question. In other words we should be concerned that - since people do indeed go to Hell over the issue of Adultery (Rev ) - we should be concerned that our spouse may indeed be... well, at the very least, not in God’s good graces. Therefore, since this is true, we should not be thinking about our situation so much as focusing in on the situation that our spouse is in
Now regarding the other things you’ve mentioned...waiting, denying yourself and suffering let me say this, isn’t that what Christianity is all about? Suffering, waiting in hope, denying oneself, picking up ones cross and following Jesus? Peter / James says dont be amazed when you encounter various trials. STOP RIGHT THERE! Did you hear him Don’t be amazed (like the Psalmist). Don’t start questioning the issues of fairness. Don’t wonder about your suffering (1 Peter, James). DON’T WONDER ABOUT THE ISSUE OF PATIENCE EITHER (1 Peter 1:2,3)...
Also there is the issue of redemptive suffering, a suffering in a patient way that has an effect on the one that is causing the suffering (1 Peter wife won over without a word...)
KJV "for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Philippians 4:11).
Question Fifty One: What does Jesus mean by ‘and whoever marries her is guilty of adultery?
Answer:
Question Fifty Two: I’m planing on leaving (not divorcing) my Christian spouse. I tell all my problems to a person of the opposite sex at church with an understanding heart. (Even personal things about my spouse). Am I right in doing this?
Answer: You’re not very smart, and neither is the man / woman at your church. Unless the person is a Pastor / Elder you should never tell...
Question Fifty Three: I divorced my Christian husband for “irreconcilable difference” Did I do the right thing? My “magic eight ball” said I did.
Answer: There is no such thing as irreconcilable difference among Christians!...Someday even the church will be one (reconciled)...
Question Fifty Four: My spouse feels DEAD to me because she/he cheated on me. Since she is DEAD to me then the covenant can be broken for a DEATH has occurred.
Answer: Very creative! And you get an “A” for “effort”... and an “F” for being a Christian. What’s a matter? Jesus (Your master) can forgive an adulterer but you (a disciple) can’t? If you can’t see your spouse as your spouse then at least see your spouse as a brother or sister (1 Tim 5:2) in Christ (which in the end, is in reality, all they are anyway). To put it another way, if your actual fleshly brother or sister sinned against you would you walk out on them or kick them out of the house? Wouldn’t you try - as a Christian and DISCIPLE of Christ - wouldn’t you try to reconcile with them?
“...but Peter was standing at the door outside... The slave-girl who kept the door said to Peter, You are not also one of this man’s disciples are you? He said ‘I am not.’... Now Simon Peter was standing and warming himself. They said therefore to him ‘ You are not one of His disciples are you?’ He denied it and said ‘I am not’ . One of the slaves of the high priest, being a relative of the one whose ear Peter cut off, said, ‘ Did I not see you in the garden with Him? Peter therefore denied it again and immediately a cock crowed.” John 18
Ask yourself, Jesus says that what ever you do to the least of these you do to me, what does it mean if you...
In the end you have to “die”. and God will use anything to bring that about...therefore... your normal too... no one likes to die, no one really likes to hang on the cross either... but let God have his perfect work in you completed. IOW’s die - Your Cross Awaits! Remember the cross is a place of shame.
Remember it’s going to take time to get over this. There will be bad days and good days, but with God’s help, the good will eventually outnumber the bad. Be patient in hope.
Question Fifty Five: God cheated.. He went to the Gentiles!
Answer: Only AFTER the 1st covenant with Israel was ended with the death of Christ... The 2nd covenant is made with the house of Israel too, but the Gentiles (called Israel in Romans?) are grafted into Israels promises... See,,, death can only end a covenant! Another good example from scripture!!!
Question Fifty Six: Why is it that elders get “off the hook” for sinning (i.e. they don’t have to resign, 1 Tim 5:20), but when I sinned by remarrying I can’t be qualified for the office of elder.
Answer: First off you did not sin when you remarried, second you made a “life - choice” in regards to LEADERship that cannot be undone (hence the “condenation” 1 Timothy ). IOW”S an elder can be corrected for his behavior and put right back “on track”, you on the other hand made a choice concerning “the things of this world”. Concentrate on being fruitful in the choice you have chosen for yourself. You can be fruitful without being in an office. (and try to identify and “wanton pleasures” in your life and...
Question Fifty Seven: Unbelivers and covenants
Answer: Check Isreals illegal covenants with the OUTSIDE nations (were they broken when they repented?), also check Solomon’s restriction on the man who served his father (i.e. you can’t go outside Jerusalem or will die, did die for went after freed slaves), Check Joshua covenant, people were protected inside? of Israel but were slaves. See Greek words for bound not bound in 1 Cor 7: CAN disolve like slavery. CONDITIONAL COVENANTS almost like contracts.
Question Fifty Eight: 1 Cor 7 not seeing Paul as granting permission for remarriage.
Answer: ‘I say not the Lord’ - Pauls is going to say something significant here, also ‘ remai in the condition you were called’ suppose you were called in a divorce state? (i.e. how sacred can a covenant be if Paul says don’t go back to it) Paul DOES say that if you remarry AFTER being loosed from a wife you do not sin and he (does use the same word? check) when talking about being freed AS A SLAVE. (Its from the same root word?check) So if you have any misapprehension about what Paul means by bein “not under bondage vs. 15) look at waht he says in vs.21 to see wha t he means. See question 57 Must study.
Question Fifty Nine: How is it fair to my Pastor that he cannot not remarry after his wife died?
Answer: Hey, if he’s hung up on the issue of “fairness’, then encourage him to read question (# fairness question) and then do a study about what Paul means by “husband of one wife” (Question 25, ##). If he is still hung up on the issue of “fainess” he can - resign and then get married, thus he will have no problem with “fairness”.
Question Sixty I’m married and I’m planing on leaving my spouse because I just found my “soul-mate.” We have everything in common including being married. Marriage is more than just taking vows, etc, etc, etc,.
Answer: If the married person you are seeing now is a cheater, and you end up marrying him, what makes you think your new found re-MARRIED person won’t cheat on you? Get it? Your married man cheated and now you’re married to that SAME married man. R U ...
Question Sixty One
Answer:
Some final words before I close this question and answer section...
Teaching can only do so much. We need the illumination of the Holy Spirit and the prophetic before we can grasp various truth in scripture. I’ve not answered all your questions, but I took a stab at the most pressing. I do believe I’ve answered them honestly. However in my honesty let me add that there are still things, many things that I do not grasp for the information I had to deal with is very very vast and deals with at least three different covenants and the different natures of man (i.e. before fall, after fall, and after the state of the new creation). I will be the first to say that I may be wrong on some answers, but as of now I don’t see where. If I was pressed I probably could argue the other side with a “strong” case, but it would be at the expense of mercy and that would not be a new covenant thing to do. Feel free to e- mail me at any time if you have some new insight or new questions that I have not thought about. I may include it here in the form of a new question.
and BTW if you really disagree with my conclusions then I suggest that you yourself do a through study on the issue. You may want to use the different search engines that are out there and spend time looking up all the other “Pro/ Anti Christian divorce” web pages. I suggest that you read them, pray and study and then come to your “own” conclusions. I’ve just started to look over some of these web pages myself - after doing my own study - and I’ve found most of them on both sides to gloss over some key points, and the premises on the “Pro Christian Divorce” sites are faulty, But for the sake of those of you who have written - because you find yourself in a questionable marriage - I’m still reading.
and BTW, for those of you who have written and wish to remarry because your Christian spouse has committed adultery, let me say that - for me - I would never ever divorce my spouse for that OR ANY REASON. Why? because there have been times - many times - where I have acted unfaithfully toward the Lord and He did not abandon me. ALSO REMEMBER... YOU CANT DIVORCE YOUR CHRISTIAN SPOUSE WITHOUT JUDGING YOURSELF. Please remember that! When you make a judgment, any judgment, you judge yourself. Your motivation - for staying together - should be higher, of course, but if it is not, then at least remember what I just said.
Also, if your intent on getting remarried you may want to consider that remarriage - in general - is not the best thing for a Christian to do. Paul does say that it will limit you in God’s purposes. (“attention divided”). Also - while everyone has their gift from God (celibacy in context) - Paul encourages us to continue to seek gifts - and that would include celibacy. So if you are having a problem with ... whatever... you may want to ask the Lord for that gift. I dont think He will deny you.
Personally I myself would never remarry. Marriage can be good, but singleness is a better state for each and every Christian (Both Paul AND JESUS say this). If you are divorced from an unbelieving spouse or widowed you may, if you wish remarry - and not sin - but there will always be a “penalty” against you in regards to leadership in God’s church. But again, you do not sin if you remarry.
Anyway Remember, the word divorce was never intended to be in the people of God’s vocabulary. It was a man made word.(i.e. Moses) The idea that people could be walking around in a state of divorce would be crazy in God’ s mind. It’s like zombies walking among the living. It was never intended and should never be, ESPECIALLY UNDER THE NEW COVENANT OF GRACE. It was only granted for people with heard hearts, or heart that couldn’t cope. It was never God’s intention to have legitimate spouses walking around separated from their legal spouse. Never Never Never. He came to straighten out that mess.
Again, divorce was never God’s intention (before the fall), but he did allow for it (after the fall), because times had changed. When people divorced that would be it. No going back, you have a hard heart and that needs to be fixed. Basically they had all these legitimate spouses wandering around. They messed up their lives once and that would be it. God wanted them go on with their lives, in peace. Hence the other regulations of Moses: You divorce them then that it. Thus God was merciful even though indirectly.
Again, God never intended the word divorce to enter the vocabulary of man, but peoples hearts were hard. The fall of man made the garden command null and void (Cleave to wife, two become one, let no man separate). God had to fix the problem before he could.... Peoples hearts are now flesh. More is expected of us. Forgiveness and restoration are the order for the day. Not separation and death. Certainly not divorce. At least for Christian believers. It’s a stated command from God that they either stay married or separate, but never never to divorce. (1 Cor 7:10,11). The peoples hard heart problem has been taken care of and they should at the very least be as merciful as their leader was - Jesus - when He forgave the woman caught in adultery. Divorce is against His revealed will now. He has fixed the problem.
Again, under the new covenant marriage still wrestles with this issue. People still see it as an “out” It’s WAS an “out”, but Jesus deals with it by forgiving the adulterer. Hence the grounds for death are removed and hence there is no reason for divorce under the new covenant for the true disciple of Christ. .
God bless
1)What is a disciple? What does John mean (in 1st John) when he talks about “testing yourself” ?
2) What is a Covenant? Give an example.
3)What is an illegitimate marriage? Give an example. (married Tuesday, remarried Wednesday. What’s wrong with that? Obvious)
4) What is an unsanctified child? Give an example. What is the Church’s responsibility towards these children?
5)Define Marriage in terms of a covenant.
6)Define the state of Separation in 1 Cor 7.
7)Define backsliddeness.
8)Define the benefits of being single
9)Define the term “disregard Christ” in 1 Timothy? Give an example.
10)Define “Leader.” Is it a special category within the Christian church? If so why?
11) Define “contract” as opposed to “covenant” (Didn’t talk about...contract one party does something IF the other party does something, covenant one party upholds their end of the agreement whether or not the other party upholds theirs...
12)
13)
14)
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Feel free to improve on any of the pages you copy.
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You can also sell the work at a profit if you wish, just having these works circulating in the world is reward enough for me).
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P.S. If you copy these pages to a server make sure you place your own e-mail address on the pages so people will know whom to write if they have any questions (you can also leave my e-mail address on them if you wish (i.e. StevenMRyan@cs.com), but as of now I don’t have the time to answer everyone’s questions so I think your e-mail address would be a better idea).
Thus you can have your own web site [Angelfire (Lycos ) offers free web pages as well as many other sites Click here and ask around].
Periodically I will update the links on these pages. Below you will find the dates of the ‘last update’ of a particular page. If you wish you can use the below “updates” as a guide to update your own pages or you can update your own at you own discretion.
Feel free to improve on any of the pages you copy.
Also, feel free to use this entire sites content (Music, Theology, Divorce and Remarriage etc.) in any way you wish (for example: if you wish to publish a page in whole or in part in another medium (let’s say in tract or book form), you have my permission to do so (and you don’t have to inform me or put my name on the work).
You can also sell the work at a profit if you wish, just having these works circulating in the world is reward enough for me).
Again, this is an open source web site. The code (as well as content) is free to all. Feel free to tinker, dabble and fiddle around with both code and content. God is a very creative Spirit. Who knows what kind of page(s) you will develop. Also, who knows what kind of influential tracts or books you may write. (If you want you can change the sentence structures around and put this sites content in your own words. Then put your name on the book or tract and shop it around to some publishers. Most of this sites content is desperately in need of rewrite so putting your name on a rewritten work is probably a good idea, actually a very good idea).
May God bless you in your efforts.
P.S. If you copy these pages to a server make sure you place your own e-mail address on the pages so people will know whom to write if they have any questions (you can also leave my e-mail address on them if you wish (i.e. StevenMRyan@cs.com), but as of now I don’t have the time to answer everyone’s questions so I think your e-mail address would be a better idea).
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