Kids Techno

It is – ‘Kids Techno’
Who is – who cares – it’s shite!

Just when you thought it was safe to climb out of that big vat of formaldehyde that you had been festering in, that darn ‘Kid’ is back and as infectious as ever! More kid Z, than kid A, here is a shining example of a seriously twisted individual – hey, we might even get on! Need I say any more……………. Could be the start of something beautiful.

But, it’s not. Here’s the deal. Pens and paper at the ready……… Put into the melting pot a seriously twisted motherfu**er , with the musical ability of a cheese triangle, stir, allow to simmer for five minutes, allow yourself to simmer for five minutes(anymore would be dangerous) add a pinch of anthrax (for added infectious potential) and hey presto – more kid’s techno.

Seriously though, if ‘Cowboy’ is good then I’m the cat’s Mother (or the monkey's unkle...or...urrr.. I don't really understand what I'm saying here!). MIAWWWOOOOO! Actually that could be construed as quite rude – but I don’t want to sound too depraved.

This album is perhaps, with misfortune, the worst thing I have been exposed to in my whole life. The song is characterised by a strange cacophony of sounds, mismatched and immaturely blended into your worst aural nightmare. Who needs cheese to give you nightmares if you have Kids Techno. Cheese sales will inevitably suffer, and I actually quite like cheese.

This is infinitly worse than his greatest hits. At least that had comedy value.


Rocking or Shocking?
Shocking. minus 5/5. I just can’t techno more!


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They are: Kids Techno
Who are: Alternative
It is: ‘Greatest hits’

Urrrrrr…… ummmmm…… well….. firstly, I have to stress that it isn’t very often that I can say that I have been rendered quite speechless by a CD. However, to my surprise I almost was after listening to this musical offering! So well done there. To be fair, It isn’t very often that I find it difficult to express my opinions!! Especially with regard to music.

This piece of music certainly cannot be described as bog standard. Quite frankly I’ve never heard anything quite like it before. So, in that sense it is in a league of its own. Consequently, I cannot think of anything to compare it with, so can’t decipher whether it is good or not? Confused? I was. I think you are supposed to be! That aside gut reactions to the songs are the only means of an evaluation here, and in this respect I believe that a bog is probably where this belongs.

Criticisms aside (constructive ones you understand). I think that tenuously the record is good. This is because this record lies on the dimension where it is so bad that it is good, so hated that you begin to love it and marvel at its complete and utter pointlessness and ability to quite literally disturb you. I feel that this is true in particular to the tenth track ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ Through listening to this song, I found a striking contradiction in the emotions aroused by the background narrative (a guy giving suggestions through hypnosis in order to relax you ), and the feeling aroused through the music – which did actually make me feel quite anxious! This all left me feeling in a state of flux, and actually quite mentally drained! Or was that the consumption of too many cups of tea while ploughing through the CD? All the same I’m still worried lest this music get into the wrong hands. It could cause more damage to a preadolescent youth that a limp biszkit or Eminem CD. In fact goddamnit there should be laws against this type of music!

However, I was also well…… not exactly impressed, but in admiration of this guys imagination when creating his music. With music from TV programmes and children’s toys featuring in his songs!! At least he is original and not afraid to be even though to be fair it doesn’t really work. His music isn’t commercial and I don’t see a great future ahead for this guy in the music industry, but that doesn’t mean to say that this guy should give up his creative endeavours.


Rocking or Shocking?
Shocking. 1/5. Child's play