The problems with marrying a divorced woman is that she is open to condemnation for
getting remarried (1 Tim 5:11,12) Hence, Paul would probably not be very happy about a
person
in leadership marrying a divorcee - for the Gospel (which should be protected at all
costs) could become maligned.
Now this is not to trash divorced people. There are a lot of divorced people out there
- which God has called - and they are treated like second class citizens
in the church. Remember, Jesus
had His Judas, Therefore Pastors should make ever effort to
make a divorced person feel
at home (Betrayed and Betrayer, for both need God’s help).
Also, in regards to the
betrayed... some people do do all that they can do to perserve a relationship and still it
doesn’t work out (again Jesus and Judas), and it’s not their fault that the unbeliever has
left, BUT again, if these same people remarry, there are specific things that are said
about remarriage - in regards to leadership / positions / qualifications
to programs - that the church NEEDS to adhere to. It’s really
that aspect of a leader / person in a
position (i.e. the remarrying) that stands out more than anything (i.e. the
character
or the commitment to the Gospel that a divorced person shows when they remarry.
IOW’S why should a church put someone in leadership who KNOWINGLY
‘disregards Christ and lays aside their previous pledge’ OR why should a LEADER marry
someone who KNOWINGLY (by
experience) does the same (i.e. ‘Disregard’s Christ and lays aside their
previous pledge?’ 1 Tim 5:11,12). According to 1 Timothy both type of people have
incurred condemnation. (i.e “ the reproachful judgment of their fellow Christians
because they have nullified their first faith.” Ken Wuest p.496) Should such people be in
LEADERship?
ALSO, in regards to the above mentioned point, there are two important things to
remember before I continue...
1st) Divorced people - believe it or not - DO NOT SIN if they remarry, but the
remarriage must be according to
biblical standards. (1
Cor 7:27,28). And, even though this is true, however...
2nd) As said before IT’S NOT THE DIVORCE PER
SAY, THAT INCURS CONDEMNATION BUT AGAIN (BELIEVE IT OR NOT),
IT’S
THE
REMARRIAGE. (and if you don’t
understand this point it will come out more in
the next section which deals with Christian widows, but basically - the remarriage shows
something about their level of commitment to the Gospel IN REGARDS TO
LEADERSHIP.) IOW’S the remarried person is
condemned for not being fully “sold out”, and committed to the
Gospel. Hence, because they have remarried, they are “penalized” and are restricted
from LEADERship. .
Now, just to illustrate that the problem in becoming a LEADER is not the divorce, per
say, it is possible for one to
make a strong
case for a divorced man being in leadership as well as divorced men and women being in
the position of deacon - as long as the divorce was on the basis of an unbeliever leaving
(AND THE LEADERS HAVE NOT REMARRIED) For, under those ground -
arguably - such a person may exist in leadership and not be asked to step down. IMHO 1 in 12 people in positions or
in leadership fit this bill (Remember Jesus {a leader} had His Judas {a partner}, who
turned out to be a betrayer and he was 1 of 12 disciples)
However... once a leader / person in a position/ person on the dole, once they have
remarried, that fact by itself shows something about their level of commitment
to the
Gospel, hence for Paul the “one wife / one Husband” rule.
And BTW, even though there is no prohibition regarding a Divorced person in
leadership, positions, or “on the dole”, in scripture. Placing a divorced person in the
position of a leader or a position of a servant may not be the best thing for a
church to do, HOWEVER, for me to say that doing such a thing is not
permissible is to also deny Jesus His Eldership (1 Peter 5:4, 2:25) as well as His headship
of the Church, for He did, if you remember, lose an unbeliever to the Devil (i.e. Judas)
But that, and ONLY THAT, is the ONLY condition I myself would allow for divorced
leadership to remain in their position i.e. if their unbelieving leaves. (which BTW
that
could
be good for the Gospel, 1 Cor 7:15 “...God has called us to
peace”) Otherwise one could make a good case for a leaders
resignation. Especially if they marry a divorced woman.
Basically, what I’m saying here is that... what’s good for
the goose (i.e. the requirements for leaders / people in positions) is good for the
gander (i.e. the standards for a woman who marrys a leader). The remarriage
(i.e. second marriage) of anybody (i.e. goose or gander) does indeed make both the
gooses or gander a
duckling. (i.e. ineligible for leadership, positions or the dole). They are not leadership
“birds of a
feather” anymore. They are not leadership material. The remarriage has changed
them and shows
something about the persons true colors, character and commitment.
Hence
Paul, I believe, would express doubts if the church leaders in his day were to ask him if it
was
OK AND PROPER for them to marry a divorced women. IOW’s why would you
want to marry anyone
whose level of commitment to the Gospel is in question? (Hence the one wife rule FOR
LEADERS. You dont’ want a leader who’s not commited).
Again, divorce itself does not necessarily disqualify a Christian from leadership. (For
example: there are no restrictions that say a
divorced woman cannot be “on the dole”). Divorce is not necessairly a bad thing, BUT a
divorced and
remarried person?... that’s another matter (BUT ONLY IN REGARDS TO
LEADERSHIP).
Remember: Leadership is a special category.
PS: Pastors of all people - as well as their wives - should
know what it means to lay down
their lives to save a marriage. They should be living examples of people who have laid
down
their lives for each other. If you don’t know what I mean by “laying down ones life” read
my section on the Victorious Christian life” by
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