until her eyes crossed over ~ until her mind crossed over. . [entries|friends|calendar] shut the fuck up [ website | neglected ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

private? [21 Dec 2003|12:21am] i feel like i should update my livejournal right now. but i just can't think of what to say. sometimes you should do what you feel. ( so here it is. ) post comment

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[20 Dec 2003|11:56pm] [ mood | milk and cookies ] i am so incredibly tired right now. i should be going to bed, but i know that again, just like this whole past week, i will be thinking - and thinking - and coughing - and thinking - and turning - till probably about 3 or 4 in the morning i will look up at the clock and finally realize that i haven't been sleeping the entire night. i bought PRESENTS this year. yes, my first year ever, i went christmas shopping. boo. i spent too much of $$these$$ bad boys. jamie went to vegas till tuesday or ish. margarita's location is always questionable. so, basically, i think i'm home alone for a while. which is nice because i <3 being alone sometimes. more than not, actually. but i do hate being lonely. and jamie and i need to go looking for places to live before mid-january. i think i'm willing to pay $450 for my own room. so i guess that means... ? work is almost over. two more weeks. then what am i going do? and what am i going to do about him? it is one of those sticky situations where crusher may not be crushed back by the crushee. and we've all heard that before...</public> 1 comment|post comment

[20 Dec 2003|10:05pm] ( eh, i'm tired ) post comment

thanks to danielle's friend's list...this is funny [16 Dec 2003|02:26am] [ mood | staying up until i am tiredish ] My LiveJournal 12 Days My True Love gave to me... 12 bats_days a-squatting. 11 bazaarbizarrelas a-leaping. 10 doombuggiess a-falling. 9 drdjournals a-chuckling. 8 elven_freckless a-typing. 7 ikilledrocks a-giggling. 6 jupitersunrises a-twisting. 5 white laframboises. 4 calling mercredi_etoiles. 3 Australian sinderella7s. 2 salamander socal_indies. And a thelostjockey in a peach tree. Get gifts! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. 5 comments|post comment

[15 Dec 2003|10:55pm] [ mood | uncomfortable jaw-wise ] a story of a man who came to a land unknown. to find himself. within the life. of everyone. in just finding that he is alone. and within himself. everyone else is conncted with each other. and only the idea that he is not connected. makes him feel sad. and he spends a lifetime trying to understand Why. when he has been trying to feel Why. not know Why. ( and other things. ) 23 comments|post comment

[15 Dec 2003|04:25am] i just made my journal as festive as it's gonna get. i'm trying to get myself in the mood, but it's not really working. you know.... the mood for christmas. oh yeah, check out this website... do it! 2 comments|post comment

[15 Dec 2003|03:29am] [ music | the stellas ] ( six gays and a gal ) 2 comments|post comment

[14 Dec 2003|05:41pm] bla bla bla... this is my 4th entree today. i miss the days when i would come home from school and do my homework right away. how did i ever become that way? i think it started my junior year, when i had mrs. lang for math and i had to re-take 9th grade biology for a semester. although the last semester of 12th grade was the only time i've ever gotten straight A's on my report card. nowadays i come home from school, get on the computer or watch the tube. i have so much time off during the week that nothing ever got done. so i'm going to fuck myself over this semester. maybe it'll do me some good; a good ass-kicking from school might shake me up a bit and get the blood circulating, at least for next semester, maybe. although, i was supposed to register on the 10th, and didn't even realize we could register till yesterday. and for some reason i really don't care. i haven't even jumped up to sign up for any classes yet, i care so much. oh well. on another note: i like nicely shaped eyebrows. and perfect teeth. i want perfect teeth. teeth are one of the first things i notice on someone, if they're nice [teeth]. otherwise i don't even think about someone's teeth. except my own. and fuck, an unknown number just called... "ring ring"... stop it, asshole! 2 comments|post comment

[14 Dec 2003|05:20pm] [ mood | bored ] oh man. i used to have a journal at scribble.nu ... like in 11th or 12th grade. then it went all fees this and charge that...so it was gone. if i could go back and read what i used to have that would be GRAND! except.. it's not working, and my hands are cold. 1 comment|post comment

more to think about... [14 Dec 2003|04:45pm] [ mood | better ] i've had a gardenburger sitting in the microwave for 20 minutes. i can't wait to eat, yet, i can't. what is that at my door? psh, nothing... just loud neighbors who can't keep their things to themselves. ( oh well ) 4 comments|post comment

grr @ the mother... [14 Dec 2003|03:47pm] [ mood | aggravated ] so it's that time to get the smog checked in my car. mother is taking care of that, and for some reason it was going to take her all weekend. i didn't question that reason, i didn't even think about it much. except for today, i had asked her to try and fix the top to my car, because it's not snug enough on the back windows and it gets too windy in there... so, when she called just now, stupidness occured, and alas, some people get so pressured under interrogation... or even just under harmless questioning. mom: have your windows always had trouble going up and down? me: yeah, just the back ones mom: but your front ones haven't? me: no, why, are they broken? mom: yeah, okay, i'll get them fixed. me: mom, i'm not at work right now, where are you? mom: i'm really busy... me: well where are you? mom: i'm at the car stereo place, it was going to be a surprise, damnit, but i'm getting a stereo put in your car! me: well you didn't have to tell me! mom: BYE! me: bye... *click*throw* she's so stupid, gets so worked up over nothing, and now i'm disappointed that it's not a surprise anymore. i remember when she surprised me with one in my last car, it was excellent excitement.... now she might as well not even get it for me anymore. 4 comments|post comment

2003 revise needed [09 Dec 2003|11:29pm] January - a whole month of laziness, prepping for school and no job February - shitty hairstyle - $75 - straight edge March April - road trip - straight edge May - school ( A B C CR) - my first apartment without the family June - disneyland July August - hurt a man - met some boys - cinderella and the stripper September - school October - whites November - hurt some boysish December - ? post comment

[08 Dec 2003|06:43pm] i just found out danny elfman married his girlfriend bridget fonda... congratualations, i'm sure! he's probably wise in his ways, so this is a good thing. 10 comments|post comment

emergency rooms are my favorite. [03 Dec 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | sedated ] i think i cried about ten times these past couple of days. crying is so good for the soul, i cannot even express my feelings about it other than it feels wonderful and makes you look like hell as well. you know when you take drowsy medicine, and you feel all... drowsy like... like if you do not lay down you would pass out? that is how i felt last night at work...before i took anything. plus, doing step-sister makes me feel so lousy sometimes... not just the physical pain, but it kind of hurts the ego, as well. of course i get "you are so beautiful" at times... which is awesome... but when people actually act like they do not like you, it is kind of a low blow, ya know? today i woke up with a stiff neck. it was the pits, i tell ya. i was walking around all ghost like, stiff as a board. we went to the wrong emergency room at first, they said they would not even look at me if i could have meningitis, even though my mom told them before we went over there that that could be the problem. then we went to this other emergency room and it was so wonderful. they took care of me right away, it felt like. though i was probably there for a few hours. i cried again when they said something about taking a blood test (i am the BIGGEST baby when it comes to that kinda stuff, and i have only had to experience it once in 8th grade, which did NOT sway my feelings towards the whole thing whatsoever) the nurse was really great, kept calling me "sweetie" and "baby girl". the doc asked me some questions and figured i did not have meningitis, it was probably strain from work no blood test!. then my mom went into my room, and i broke down. i told her everything that has been bothering me, and i cried about it, and she told me that some people are just too immature to deal with. i agree, but then, she does not know the feelings i know about people. she does not see things through my point of view. i love her so much, she would do anything for me. and she has. and all i have been able to do is hate her for the stupidness that she has caused in my life, and her's. i am on so much medicine right now i could die. so i am going to lay down now, to at least rest in peace no pun intended. 1 comment|post comment

[28 Nov 2003|03:34am] bonjour hello je ne sais pas i don't know j'adore i adore post comment

[28 Nov 2003|03:32am] you bla blab la balb alba hellohellohellohello goodmorning goodmorning goodmorning fhsafdkajhfsdfjyasduryaweuirhadfjksh( hahahaha ) 1 comment|post comment

since my grandmother died last year... [28 Nov 2003|03:23am] [ music | muse - unintended ] i've never noticed my dad to be so talkative. dad: you look so beautiful. me: i know dad: i know you know, haha! me: eww, just kidding. dad: no you're not. he said a few things like eat some turkey, and then how i don't eat enough, as i pushed my plate of mashed potatos and devilled eggs i didn't finish toward him. i could talk about my thanksgiving experiences, but they're far less interesting and far more hopeless than the beautiful story i just read by val. post comment

[27 Nov 2003|12:42am] [ mood | amy's pizza ] [ music | bowie - rock 'n roll suicide ] so now me hair is different colours. just think of what it looked like in 12th grade except more purpley roots. that's right, no one knew me in 12th grade. 3 comments|post comment

je suis fatigué ... boring post, my own ramblings.... [26 Nov 2003|01:49am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | will ferrell - forever in blue jeans, babe! (gap commercial) ] so.. in my attempt to learn hebrew i practice le français! ... i'm crazy tired. but not crazy enough to write an interesting live journal. i have a paper due tomorrow, therefore i am here! bien sûr! i finally dropped my two morning classes, and i feel soooo relieved. lame. yet, relieved all the same. now i can wake up at 9 instead of 6 in the morn...oh how i love the hands of time! bleh.. it's already 2:05, and i haven't posted this post of nothingness yet. yesterday i went to school only to decide i didn't want to go to school. then i left for the show that i didn't really want to go to... but thought it would be a good idea, since it would be helping my friend who bought tickets and couldn't go. she better love me for a very long time now! it was cool, except we missed the band that was the purpose for even buying those tickets...oh well, such is life. today i slept in till 1 pm, went to work, went to my mom's, then came home and started finishing my report. now i'm waiting for it to come back from some website to make sure i didn't plagiarise! moi? plagiarise? c'est ridicule! tomorrow i'm going to go to school, turn in my report, see if i can buy a new schedule for next semester, go home and go to sleep. or do my homework from the past 10 weeks or so that i haven't done yet. i think i'm going to take french. and maybe a class where i can sing. and a child development class. and some film class i'm supposed to take to see if those fools even want my sucker ass in their department. mais, je ne sais pas... we'll have to see what happens. for thanksgiving i'm going to meet up with the family i haven't seen in a while, and then leave for work before they all start eating scorched corpses of turkies and pigs(excellent timing, i must say!) post comment

[24 Nov 2003|12:37pm] [ mood | fucked up ] this morning i had a dream i was being molested by a girl. -- but of course there was a boy behind the whole thing. first there was this boy who was pretty cool, and valerie and i started to hang out with him. he was being all nice and everything, until he kidnapped us. then for some reason i was driving this old car, and valerie was in the passenger seat, trying to get away. except i noticed this blinking light on the dashboard which made me conclude that we were being tracked. -- somehow some other girl ended up driving and i was in the back seat, and i did not know where she was going, and that if we broke down or ran out of gas the guy would find us before we could call the police. and then all of a sudden i was tied up in the back seat with this girl, and a big body guard type man was driving, and the guy was shotgun with a video camera. i remember part of the conversation while she was molesting me, like if i made any noises they would be edited for the movie. stuff like that. i was not enjoying any part of this dream, actually at first i was kind of apathetic to the whole thing because after i figured i could not do anything about it i just wanted it to stop. -- but then we were in my bedroom, and after they untied me i bashed the girl's face in with a boot. then, when i was trying to figure out who the guy really was, i was woken up from Numero Confidentiel, who did not even say anything when i answered. 4 comments|post comment

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