OFFICIAL
MARCHING
TRUMPETS
RULES AND
REGULATIONS
The Order
of Command
The events
in the band are handled by an orderly and bureaucratic system of power
and rule. The ranks of this chain of command are listed below. In a given
section, the order of commands goes from highest chair to lowest. In this
way, there shall always be a backup plan for any problems which may occur.
The Trumpet
Section Leaders
Trumpets
Omnipotent
Deities (OOPS, already listed them!!!!)
Trumpet
Alumni
Brass
Alumni
Other
high brass players
The pole
at the Coliseum
Baritones/Euphoniums
Honorary
Brass (Bari Saxes--20-J defectors)
French
Horns/Mellophones
Martians
20-Js
Honorary
Woodwinds (Soprano Sax)
Our mutes
Percussion
Alumni
Percussion
Maynard
Fergueson
Woodwind
Alumni
Saxophones
(Tenor, Alto)
Clarinets
People
in the stands
Jazz Band
Elvis
Directors
Drum Majors
Trombones
Flutes
Oboe
Piccolo
The Powers
of the Trumpet Section Leaders
STL-1
Regardless of their current chair, Kevin Manning and Joel Brannon shall
be the unchallenged Trumpet Section Leaders. This shall be applicable to
Marching Season only.
a. In
Concert Season, whoever is first chair shall inherit some of the "Trumpet
Section Leader" privileges.
STL-2
The Trumpet Section Leaders are exempt from any and all rules they don't
feel like following with the exception of STL-2 and all STLHL rules.
STL-3
a. All persons of rank lower than the omnipotent deities attempting to
give themselves rights shall be deported for trial and punishment.
STL-4
During Wind Ensemble auditions, the directors shall forfeit the standard
4 minute test for a promise that the Trumpet Section Leaders that they
have practiced their scales and can play them.
STL-5
All music, both in concert season and marching season, shall be selected
by the Trumpet Section Leaders.
STL-6
The Trumpet Section Leaders have the exclusive right to determine the Wind
Ensemble trumpet roster.
STL-7
a. When the Trumpet Section Leaders challenge a person, any challenge involving
the person being challenged shall be immediately nullified.
b. In
the event that a trumpet player wishes to challenge either of the section
leaders for their title, they lose.
STL-8
a. The Trumpet Section Leaders shall have the exclusive right to nominate
honorary brasses.
b. The
Trumpet Section Leaders shall have the exclusive right to designate honorary
woodwinds in situations requiring the most extreme punishment available.
c. All
votes on honorary titles shall be approved by a two-thirds majority of
the trumpet section, with the section leaders' votes counting as one-third
plus one each.
d. If
a brass player if afflicted with "honorary woodwind" status, he/she shall
be referred to as "freebrass." All other brass shall be "truebrass."
STL-9
Only Trumpet Section Leaders may mix arrangements.
STL-10
A penalty of death is an option always available to the Trumpet Section
Leaders.
STL-11
ONLY the Trumpet Section Leaders may in any way modify or misinterpret
these rules. All interpretations are subject to the whim of the Trumpet
Section Leaders.
STL-12
No freshman may EVER obtain the title of Trumpet Section Leader.
STL-13
Contrary to common belief, the Trumpet Section Leaders were never freshmen.
The Powers
of Woodwinds
WIN-1
a. The only people with fewer rights than freshmen are woodwinds.
b. Yes,
this means that woodwinds have LESS than no rights.
WIN-2
a. The status of Honorary woodwind shall revoke all privileges and rights
given to the afflicted brass player(s). During this time, all truebrass
shall shun the freebrass.
b. During
this time of mourning, the afflicted freebrass shall not speak to a truebrass
unless specifically ordered to do so. Failure to comply shall result in
permanent loss of brass status. The former brass must then choose their
new denomination: woodwind or percussion.
WIN-3
Should a woodwind attempt to be cool, they shall be placed in solitary
confinement until they have regained their sanity.
WIN-4
a. Asking a woodwind, other than those designated as honorary brass by
the trumpet section leader, any question requiring an intelligent answer,
shall be illegal.
b. In
an emergency, the above law shall be voided on a per case basis with written
consent from the Trumpet Section Leaders.
WIN-5
The words loser and woodwind may be used interchangeably.
WIN-6
a. No woodwind shall be given an unaccompanied solo greater than 5 sec.
in length, for any reason.
b. Should
a woodwind desire a solo longer than the allotted 5 sec, he/she must be
accompanied by a brass player (preferably a trumpet player).
WIN-7
Siblings of woodwinds shall have the right to band-subsidized therapy.
WIN-8
a. A woodwind's four responses are: "Yes, sir," "No, sir," "I do not know,
sir," and "No excuse, sir."
b. Any
other other responses given without permission shall be referred to STL-10.
The Powers
of Trumpets
TRM-1
During tuning, the tuner shall be re-calibrated so that the trumpets shall
always be in tune.
TRM-2
a. Tempo shall be determined by neither the director nor the drum majors,
but solely by the trumpets.
b. Any
trumpet repeatedly playing a tempo which does not in any way relate to
that of his fellow trumpets shall be awarded the trumpet medal of valor,
to be presented at the band awards banquet.
TRM-3
Whenever the trumpets are playing Pep Band music, they are by definition
playing melody.
TRM-4
a. When a trumpet player has lost all sense of rhythm and melody in a song,
they shall immediately begin alternating between any first and open notes
above C.
b. Should
a trumpet player be unable to play notes above C, they shall be stripped
of their horn and immediately denoted as an honorary woodwind with no possibility
of parole.
TRM-5
All trumpet players incapable of reaching C above the treble clef by the
end of marching season their junior year shall be permanently barred from
the wind ensemble.
TRM-6
No trumpet shall ever be used to create the image of rustling wind.
TRM-7
Horse whinnies may be performed only by certified personnel.
TRM-8
All trumpet players remember, It Takes Two to Tango!!!
The Laws
of Etiquette
ETI-1
a. Arrogance in the trumpet ranks is strictly forbidden.
b. This
rule shall not be applicable to those enrolled in public schools, private
schools, home-schooling, or the alumni of these schools. This law shall
also be void for all males, females, and aliens from planets you've probably
never even heard of yet.
ETI-2
a. When being criticized by a fellow trumpet player, the correct response
is to repeat a phrase randomly selected from the following list, and repeat
it at regular intervals, regardless of what the person is saying. The List:
Yes, I Understand, Very Insightful, How Deep, and I Stand Awed at the Deep
Reaching Greatness of your Genius.
b. Trying
this with the section leaders is just NOT a good idea (See STL-10).
ETI-3
a. Obeying the orders of a drum major can and will be punishable by death.
b. In
the event of an extreme emergency, the aforementioned law shall be ignored.
A status of emergency may only be declared by the section leaders.
ETI-4
a. All wind ensemble trumpet players must keep records of something in
their band folders.
b. These
records need not be kept current.
ETI-5
No maps in size greater than 3' x 3' shall be unfolded during any rehearsal,
regardless of the stupidity of doing nothing.
ETI-6
a. In the event that wind ensemble is not playing and symphonic band is,
wind ensemble players have the right to play in the symphonic band that
day.
b. There
shall be no vice-versa for this rule.
ETI-7
Possession of a concealed piccolo trumpet without a permit may be considered
a misdemeanor.
ETI-8
Placement of a trumpet upright upon the knee during a concert is forbidden.
ETI-9
Should more than one-half the band attend a band party, it shall be declared
a failure and all participants shall return to their homes.
ETI-10
The use of music to play any song in Southerners repertoire shall be considered
treason of the highest degree.
ETI-11
The most heinous crime a trumpet player can commit is the destruction of
this rule book. Anyone found guilty of such an act shall be automatically
designated an honorary woodwind.
ETI-12
All players of rank equal to or higher than honorary brass shall be addressed
by the first name of the person, the conjunction, "of," and the person's
instrument, as in Kevin of Trumpet.
ETI-13
The order of command shall also be applicable in lines of all sorts, especially
including lines to use the phone, uniform checkout lines, and bathroom
lines.
ETI-14
So long as the Trumpet Section Leaders are able to overhear, any gossip
may be made about any member of the band at any time.
Auditions,
Challenges, and Sectionals
ACS-1
a. Solos during the marching season are determined by talent and ability.
b. Should
more than 1 player be found to actually possess talent or ability, it shall
be the final decision of the highest ranking member of the chain of command
present at the time.
ACS-2
So that judgments may be made solely upon the directors' current moods,
no trumpeter shall be allowed to see the challenge ballots.
ACS-3
The winner of a challenge has every right to do the happy dance.
ACS-4
In the event that the trumpets are forced to hold a sectional, the participants
shall make no progress. Failure to comply with this rule shall result in
death by piccolo / oboe duet.
ACS-5
a. All marching band sectionals shall be held in a location far away from
the school, so that the trumpets may goof around as much as they please.
b. Following
such sectionals, the number of merit points and the time involved shall
be wholly distorted when reported to the director.
ACS-6
a. As a refreshing change in band policy, challenges shall be declarable
in a downward direction.
b. Anyone
doing so shall be shot on sight.
Other
Laws of Importance
OTH-1
a. Make no mistake about it: Freshmen Have NO Rights.
b. This
rule shall be revoked for any freshman Trumpet Section Leader.
c. Since
there never will be a freshman Trumpet Section Leader, ignore clause B.
OTH-2
Sale of the magic lip-rejuvenation potion (DCT) to minors shall be strictly
forbidden.
OTH-3
a. All silver horns owned privately by students shall be assigned to the
highest chairs, with the highest chair receiving first pick of the available
horns.
b. Since
most Southerners Trumpets have silver horns; exceptions: Stephanie Couey
(because she DOES HAVE a silver horn), Torrie Boyd (because he is Sexual
Chocolate), and Hunter Moss (because he is Brass Caption Head), shall be
exempt from this rule.
OTH-4
Mr. B's admission of guilt on any issue shall be regarded as an omen. All
persons hearing the omen shall fast from their horns for three days.
OTH-5
a. Any and all music submitted by students as suggestions for next year's
marching show will be immediately ruled out by the directors. b. Unless
suggested by the Trumpet Section Leaders.
OTH-6
a. In the event that marching drill involves pictures, the successful completion
of these pictures shall be considered an omen, and all trumpet players
shall immediately sacrifice a goat.
b. Should
a goat be unavailable, a woodwind may be substituted.
OTH-7
a. All band students must have the fight song, Dixie, and Quilting Party
memorized before the conclusion of marching season, their freshman year.
b. All
music shall be memorized before the first game. Clause a. applies to those
pieces of music and the trumpet players' time at JSU.
OTH-10
No law may be passed which in any way restricts, prohibits, or taxes caffeine.
OTH-11
What exactly is this discipline thing???
OTH-12
The Trumpet Section Leaders reserve the right to change, modify, edit,
or amend these rules at any time and for any reason. All other requests
for changes must be approved by the Trumpet Section Leaders.
The Powers
of Drum Majors
DMJ-1
All DMJ class rules shall be applicable only to those covered in the list
posted by the Trumpet Section Leaders.
DMJ-2
a. All drum majors covered under these rules shall not be subjected to
the rank of drum major, but shall be promoted to the rank of honorary brass.
b. If
the drum major is a brass prior to accepting the role of drum major (i.e..
Gena Inglis), they may assume the rank of Brass Alumni.
DMJ-3
All qualified drum majors shall be exempt from all woodwind laws in accordance
with the definition of honorary brass.
DMJ-4
Those drum majors affected by the DMJ rules must bring tithes of pixie
sticks or mountain dew to the Trumpet Section Leaders.
(Taken
from the Jacksonville State University Marching Trumpets Webpage)
