Will Find a Tract of the Ridiculous,
by Paul Nathanael Berland aka Astral Prune
9/95 - 4/98
9/95, after my visit to the
East Coast I wound up in an apartment in Chicago near where I grew up and wrote
the following words:
"I don't have the
energy to be impatient any more. Patience
is a gift from God in it's natural form. Through
patience, anything is attainable, in time.
How much time should we allot to our chosen tasks?"
For example, if you allot no time for reflection of the above words, your
chance of comprehension are small. But
more importantly, the time allotted to the task should be equal to the patience
one is capable of, as allotted by Spiritual Forces invoked by higher powers.
"It is possible of
course not to have energy and not to have patience as well.
That is a torturous state. Unless
you are suitable entertained. Our
daily allotment of patience depends on God's plan and can sometimes be very
"Do we talk about God
or about the subconscious when we talk about allotments of patience?
Probably both. God works through the subconscious..." according to the
theory. Can you disprove it?
No. Can you prove it?
could not be otherwise; God is constantly working.
Naturally, things fall apart. God
keeps things together. When things
fall apart there is dread. Things
that I imagine can be ungodly and God would not allow to happen except that he
cannot stop them from happening sometimes and maybe He doesn't exist?"
Cannot be proven or disproven.
"Well one should not
try to understand all of God's plan at once.
You know he looks out for you."
The Warped Divinity Theory
It is only through God's
will that we all do not become paranoid and the world crumbles into complete
suffering. The world is complete
suffering for many and yet God would not stand for an entire world that is in
suffering. God chooses demigods and
for the rest is Hell. But there are
small satisfactions and the people get by on their own rationalizations.
Many have self-control and need it to survive; the rich don't need it to
survive because they survive on their "glow".
The rich are not the only ones who are demigods; it takes a person with
unusual drive, persistence, and whatever the Hell else.
I am not rich, I don't want to sell my soul to the Devil, and I cannot
survive on a "glow", therefore I need self-control, and Maturity:
without Maturity you will lose everything and who knows what would happen except
that you would regret and regret with a mighty passion and not allow yourself
the excess to start off a significant run of self-controlled thought or
self-propelled "I am" type of thing because ugliness surrounds and you
have no choice but to turn inwards and find the inner voice that does not stop
talking no matter what for that is the collective spirit belonging to God and
you know that you must pay for any usage of that spirit so learn quickly what
you will and turn to the next page of your life even if it means ignoring God
for the time being --- do you need God right now?
What trial do you face? If I
am speaking for the Devil, it is only because I am a virus-infected computer,
but believe me, I spend most of my time picking through my thoughts trying to
find inconsistencies and other problems. Embarking
upon writing in the form of essay, "Go Forth", like a philosopher.
What Do I Know?
So you want to write a book.
What about? Write about what
you know. Ok what do I know? I know that even in my dreams I pray cuz they are frightening
sometimes, and in real life I rarely pray cuz my faith at this particular time
(back in 1/96) is low and now I sit like an energyless positron sitting on a
cold slide already frozen for the microscope.
"The almighty cool ass DJ" who thought he was on a higher
level. "Stop the bus"?
Hell, make the clock go forward; speed up time until nothing moves all
wound down and life has its exit code deposited on a tombstone.
I got words in my head dying
to get out
You betta check yourself cuz
I got the clout
pounding esophagus got no
room to speak
nothing to do but talk and I
must be a freak
show me yourself and what
you got to say
and hurry up cuz I aint got
was it your head I was
searching when I came up with this rhyme?
It always sounds so blunted
but maybe not this time
you and me got the magic
that will make the world turn around
there's nothing better than
this groove that I have found
betting on your existence in
the grand scheme of things
is better than pawning a set
of diamond earrings
cuz without me you are
missing a marble or two
and what have I got to say
if I don't have you
so be me you and you me all
and that's all I really
wanted to say
What have I said and what
have I spoken
is this just another promise
to be broken
or another crazy notion
cooked up in Brooklyn
what kind of fool would you
have me be tookin
there's nobody there just me
and my ego
and some would say even
where did he go
for there's nothing left but
my id and intellect
so let me see which of my
wits I can still collect
just me and you God that's
what I meant I'm sure
just me and you God now
isn't that pure
but there's something I must
say before I do launch this
how much is God and how much
as Hans Christian Anderson
would say, it's all a dream
but to say 1 thing is to
mean another, things aren't what they seem
so let us clarify this bogus
state of confusion
God is up there and I am
down here and all else is illusion
We cannot love each other
cuz we are not equal
but we don't need love we
can rely on the sequel
the sequel to love which
and hence in sense I may yet
if you don't understand that
I'm not a good poet
I hear it is a skill that
takes time to grow it
but now that I have said
what I came here to say
I will take off my mouth and
bid you a good day
Attainment of the Moon
Where we live is okay but we
keep trying to take it to the moon. The
trick is to live in your own space and don't cross too many boundaries and you
will see that the moon has its own affairs to tend to and one day you will reach
the moon but only for a brief period of time so don't even get concerned cuz
next time there won't be a moon there will just be you and you'll be reaching
for the brew so just know that you got to chillify - did you know the moon is
maze of cheez?
is what we're covered in
full of holes and layers thin
beneath which flows blood to our toes
hair on our legs and under
our chin flexible so we can grin
cells arrayed in rows watch
as it grows black or white or yellow or brown there's a lot of folks here in
this town covered in our special robe from waxy knee to ear lobe what better way
to romp around than with bare feet upon the ground I have thought and I have
found that this covering of ours in which we're bound is most satisfactory and
we ought to be perfectly happy to be covered in skin.
Elements of Divinity
The three divine aspects of
life: beautiful, sad, funny.
of God's Discourse
Fanciful scholars create
discourse but I favor God's discourse to me through minute signs ---- the
unanswerable rumble of thunder, cars driving through a wet street, Spanish
people talking upstairs --- these things tell me like nothing else that I am
alive --- an ambulance siren, a door slamming, the flash of lightening, thunder
--- the sounds of our natural habitat --- train rumbling --- there are no sounds
of owls or crickets here --- there is no sound of Me here either --- Disengage
the rage that set the stage you have to be blind to read my mind you can get
fired for being tired Adam is and Adam Ant. Corkscrews in my soul. How many
ideas do you want?? Born to be toxic. You
got all the pieces to the puzzle.
God set let there be a
square so I put a square there.
of My Discourse
Can I calculate the rate to
relate telekinetic phonetic diametrically wrong when I send the beat through
three feet of cable electrostatic erratic anti thematic and off mike the psyche
and gripe cuz its not right digitally bitchin and itchin an illusion witness the
fitness of found sound around no cable or turntable to label this fable just be
nice like rice and no device will suffice to catch what you're sayin cuz that's
what's delayin the process of rhythm without excess of schism turn off the
microphone I can't handle this tone dynamic jammy the whammy in ceramic diodes
on overload transistors in dead mode saturated fated to be grated or graded by a
teacher or preacher that's dated just press on the mess on I confess nonetheless
that it's best to be smooth style not too rude chile don't delude while you
stack all the cut wax and its facts on the rack just bear witness to the fitness
of a poetic form that's not with this negative sedative coming weak off the
speaker cuz I'm meeker and sleeker on paper and safer well I got other things to
say so cut the beat and turn it around.
Allegory for Cheese
Frajuh Mijit Hookah-Suckin
Ghost Dog Sense-Slave Caveman Dingathing Cow-Eatin Insane GlabberFritz
Reaction-Sensor Lost Soul Sick Brain Frozen Dutchman Caterpillar Lost Ed Wobble
Steady Darkness Falling Dungeon Deep No Longer Feel --- No Longer Feel the
Established Existence of Another Person, Need Constant Proof need constant
Air as thick as ghosticene
stands aside for anything
let us pass through the air
let us not I don't care
air is king of everything it
may guide the song I sing the knife I wield cuts through wood and also air as it
should (what more can I say about something as plain as day) even when the sky
turns gray it does not stop every last ray of the sun up in the sky through this
air I'd like to fly like an airplane to the moon although without air I would
swoon so on the Earth I will dwell surrounded by air like a shell and breathe
this air I know I must even though it makes the cars rust I think this air will
be around awhile so that we all can live in style And In Retrospect All Is Right
Air Is Refreshing Let There Be Air (Praise God).
Hair is central - on the
periphery is skin - in between are the multifaceted vessels of blood in colors
of red and white - you can be my rag doll - I'll hold you and fold you and I'll
never scold you - like strips of platinum I am set in stone - I categorically
deny all responsibility for everything you represent - the management is in
control - peel my breath from your soul - the water runs down the drain exiting
from the system somewhere below the ground in pipes that run deep and metal into
the next county where you are and all of your friends can have a drink from
their sink but is it healthy? Check
the script - the management is in control - but you can borrow my dreams, I'm
only pretending to use them - what color are your eyes?
Want to borrow a shade of blue? First
I'll have to dig for it, the cobalt mine is down there somewhere, beneath the
pipes, but above the magma. Check
the lava flow, it's burning up all the villages, but we'll survive, and here's
your twist of lemon, I'm sure the sandman would like to know about that one so
he can make you a nice dream about calendars and what days do you have off -
drink the water we'll pump some more for you later - let's have a verbal picnic
in the sound jungle with the alley cat and the baseball bat - forget everything
and become a prisoner of the present and I'll turn up the volume on the
coherency and reproduce a whole generation of blank faces ready to plug into the
machine where they're singing the future.
To The Fact
React to the fact that I'm
exactly on time no need to mime or even to rhyme I've got control I've got soul
I've got all that and better what's a matter you're bitter at the letters from
this hitter a disgrace to your face put you in your place at the bottom cuz I
got 'em the collection every section of dialection that's showin you that I'm
all knowin of nothin so quit fussin I'm just cussin and cursin and immersin in
my own thought streammm you were caught dreammming of seemmming like some
superior posterior but your derriere is fairly square so quit dreaming there's
no meaning to your activity you've got longevity of the cavity and the gravity
of your savvy is like lead boots I haven't said news you've been fed a ruse so
don't confuse yourself or lose yourself because there's a point to this joint
unless you've led yourself to the dead end of some passing trend that's amassing
your spent blend so pick up the pieces and trample the feces stop your derision
and send in your mission statement so fate can relate and put a dent in the
troubles that trap us in tracks of trash there now I've put a gash in the stash
of predilections now hop now stop life is always fair au contraire so
redetermine the sermon you vermin so screw it I blew it so enough of that
fulfill your own self and go your own way.
WHATEVER so low so small so
tiny and transparent, sessile, emotionless drainage, flow, chemistry, all the
colors of the Earth ran and formed one color
WHATEVER and yeah so much
for that and this too now go away and never come back cuz we don't need you
around here no more you're just taking up space, space that could be occupied by
someone much more alive and not this mush jive you've been passing off as
reality in a can canned Reality now who spoke who cares let all the voices
combine in their subterranean caverns unseen and just bring out the total flow
the drainage from the mind sewer let it roll and rock like Batman
WHATEVER projections abound
like mud flies dragging all our souls to the bottom of the lake cuz we are all
mindless in our other minds dreaming and not fully aware of all that flows
across the plains of the planet
ALRIGHT time to disperse and
flow across the turntable of your mind bring in the bug juice time to flow like
coriander silver colander cylinder whisper said strictly definitely no holding
back free flow of nothing no not nothing just empty your head and let this flow
like rice pudding in the strong summer light let's be Real now and bring in
regularity once the main vein is found then press and hold for eternal savvation
cuz that's what's lacking in this experiment more of the same and whatever
follows will surpass this
THIS TOO will flow like ripe
chilies basking in the strong noonday summer sun so much at the center of
mind-expansion that no one truly understands the flow cuz it overlaps itself all
over the place MIX and you will see what became of caterpillars who fall off of
leaves, they roll over and on and on and over to the next leaf where they
continue to germinate what what did I say never mind just relax it's just words
there is nothing here that will stick in the memory except this and maybe a word
if I spell it really big and put it in a box but how silly there's nothing here
except flow and if that was original it would have been stolen so skip and
distract back to the original checkerboard of possibilities just make random
moves on a board that you cannot see so that was stolen so I refuse to take in
new sources there will be no more stolen words in some unreal universe fly
The Toad, Part One
Once there was a toad who
was scared of other animals so he wore gray suits which was suitable because of
his ugliness. He was a humble toad,
which is to say the he was highly egotistical and sensitive, although not in a
sensory way. He hoped to find the
right princess but that the right princess would find him since he was too lazy
and cowardly to invest and commit towards any other entity besides God who
granted him favors occasionally upon request (and sometimes without having
requested it). Altogether he was a
disagreeable toad who spent long hours with his back turned to the other
animals, he was an ungrateful toad who disliked swamps, and he was an
intolerable toad who croaked into the wee hours of the morning.
He considered all insects fair game and would open his mouth and out
would dart his tongue snapping up some morsel or another.
He liked to hop around and thrilled in the mere activity of motion as it
was the truly real gift of God to the animals to move over the surface (and
beneath the surface) of the entire world. He
figured one day he would be dead and gone and he looked forward to that day
because to him life was an endless stream of meaningless activity that stemmed
from nothing more than the all-powerful lord of lords the one who would soon
return to ruling over all the animals the great JaJa who lives ever on as the
sole provider of all good things and the real reason this book has been
possible. This toad had a great
curved back that dominated the body structure and told a tale all of its own.
True the toad spent much time low to the ground but some of his thoughts
toured the heavens and he often thought about buying real estate in the great
Out There where Krotus lived. This
toad was no friend of Krotus, the great 6.7 in the sky, but he was the friend of
the sand particle, which got in between his fingers and left a good feeling.
Looking For Honey
Voyager climb down your
steps walk down the path go where the bears go into the jungle looking for some
honey. "Chipmunk, where's the
honey, honey?" "Pilgrim,
you have only to climb to the top of this tree."
Up into the branches and past the bird's nest to the Leafy Canopy.
"What'll you have?" asked the moon.
"Tea and a touch of honey."
"We don't serve that here, I fear, would
you care for a beer?"
"Give me a Honey Brown." "I'll
be right back" said the moon handing me five vials of crack as collateral
and disappeared, to be replaced by the sun.
Falling from the tree landing on the dirty pavement.
"I will get my honey by and by."
Climbing back up the tree only to find a hive of bees.
To kill one bee, why that's easy, but then the horde will take over.
"Come out and fight, O king of the bees!"
"Be sensible." said he. Two
storks flew by and by pecking, they dislodge the intruder who falls into a deep
pit. "Deep pit, emit your
"Silence, emit your honey."
Dreams. "Dreams, emit
your honey." God. "God,
give me a pizza." "Say
There was a spot on the moon
that I decided to go to one afternoon
So I built a gigantic ladder out of intangible spirit matter
To the world I said good-bye and then embarked into the sky
But when I reached outer space God took me to another place
A cell in the depths of Hell or was it Heaven I could not tell
And so I lost my confidence in trying to influence
the course of events.
In the next episode I was
transformed into a toad
tried to dance in my swamp
but I had forgotten how to romp
secret?" I asked the cat he didn't answer so there I sat
then one day the phone rang
a voice said "rejoin the gang"
so I grabbed a purple
feather I don't care about the weather
but if I knew what was in
store then I wouldn't worry any more.
Then I saw a giant flower so
I stared at it for about an hour or maybe it was only a couple seconds there's
always something else that beckons brightness like a flare of light separated me
from night and I knew that it was raining and the hounds of Hell were gaining I
began to trace a spiral pattern like the rings that circle Saturn there were
certain dots to make but I could not see what's real and what's fake so I made a
triangular shape and then paused to rewind the tape but the tape was on fast
forward and I had to say one more word so I took a chance and made a point which
was really bad and screwed up the joint.
Lazily I surveyed the room
thinking only of my doom when I noticed a spot on the wall that I hadn't noticed
at all I turned to look at the cat he just sat there and looked back but what
was it about that spot? Was it just
an ordinary blot? I confess not
much conviction that I had made a contradiction but pennies falling from the sky
should be treasured by and by where they land they quickly melt too quickly I
have always felt.