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Not to devour Godís Jewels

  Copyright © 2001 Paul Nathanael Berland

Not to devour Godís jewels; to take what you can and work with that, letting that gift, that ultimately originates with God, to give you pleasure, and then to creatively expand on the pleasurable experience so that others can benefit from the gift that God has allowed you to experience.  To eat the fruit and to then become strong and then to produce fruits of your own, that is the challenge of life, and to do so amid multitudinous demands of survival, including exchange of fruits and other necessities with other members of the society.  That is the main point; to communicate the dream of the jewel-maker, who was devoured by those who devoured his jewels.  By producing your own fruits, you help to offload the Creator.  The devil be damned, people gotta know, so I told them, "Yo!"  Listen up at the sound of the crow.

If you decline all transactions then you will cease to be represented in the courts and meeting-places of those with the power to demolish you.  To always keep within your mindís grasp of Reality and within every sub-world within that mindís-eye-view of Reality, there must be the presence of an unknown patch through which works the will of God and the hosts of other spirits that also can demolish us.  Hence to keep all essential elements of reality active in your own transactions, this is no easy task.

The realm of ideas, imagination, is different from the realm of spirit.  My idea of the picture of the whole spirit world is a forest.  In the material realm, everyone interacts in society under various roles, and these roles, like ideas, and spirits, struggle against each other.  Yet all roles in society are performing a function, so one is not better than another.  The function is the crystallization of Reality.  Therefore the complaint made by one of one role attacking another of another role solely because that role is not "productive" or "beneficial", this complaint is soundly bogus.  Worse than that, it is wasted energy.  All roles are required for society to operate.  Many ideas, like roles, are patches of visions of what really comprise of interlocking circles.  Ideas are lodged inside those circles and comprise a 360 degree spectrum of possible forms.  Truth is comprised of an almost infinitely complex binary mapping of every point in the realm of ideas.  My idea of Truth is a complex black-and-white fractal image (thanks to Ken for telling me of his vision of all Reality being governed by fractals, back in '91,  which came to him while tripping at a David Bowie concert).  The self-similar units are like computer subroutines although far more complex yet simpler   That was Ken's vision and it really is the closest thing Truth can be thought of in picture form.  One can color it based on their own perception of it,  and indeed Truth does seem to favor certain forms over others,  yet in essence Truth is faithful to what God thought was important.

Meditation on the traditional Zen koan, ďWhat is the sound of one hand clapping?Ē was claimed by Buddhist monks to be a path to Enlightenment, certainly in the same league as Truth.  The One Hand, a solitary monk, the hand symbolic of a human being with many powerful capacities, at least compared to those other animals that donít have hands and thumbs and such.  The solitary monk, content in himself.  When he claps in delight, it is only the One Hand clapping.  When two Hands clap, they are loving each other, giving and receiving delight from each other.  The One Hand loves himself and does not need other people.  His outward attitude can be expressed by sitting in the Buddhist posture, cross-legged on the floor sitting, an attitude of ambivalence to the outside world.  He is clapping inside.  The world is clapping because he is so peaceful, inside and out, sitting there on his Buddha mat, seemingly oblivious but actually quite in tune with everything, although not necessarily physically close things.  When everyone copied this maneuver, the Zen teachers had to introduce subsidiary koans to make sure the student had really grasped and understood the concept of self-reliance.  This is all speculation; if you read books about Zen and such, they are all quite secretive and they won't tell you anything.  I will tell because there is no longer time to let God illustrate this to everyone through beautiful experiences.  If we offload God then God can get a night of rest.



The path is narrow so like an arrow I shoot through the chute from a bow of my Creators to the moon like a harpoon to the craters to slay Darth Vaders and Space Invaders Tomb Raiders Harsh Graders Grenaders no just kidding Iím just sitting here ranting with a cat on my belly who seems quite jolly so Iíll be very careful not to disturb him with versions of word spins for murmuring into mikes at night when Iím not feeling right with the light burning bright the glow of a figment beneath pigments of red and blue and green making it seem like Iím fine when in fact Iím agitated now I wanna sleep Iím sated so gate in the plate of good dreams and rip the seams on visible scenes.


What does it matter when youíre only getting fatter

Tragic magic gonna make you go splatter

So scatter theyíll smash ya too many times they robbed ya

Now youíre toe up in the throw up I cannot go forward one more word

Except to slow up and disappear for fear of looking queer

Like curious donít get furious your criticism is superfluous


To the people up top and the people down below

What I got to say is you got to flow

If you donít think that I guess you didnít know

Or you just donít want to have your own show


Checking the pool with a corner of the toe

How much longer do I really have to go

Trapped in a crazy circus game show

Can I really afford silliness?  I donít know


When all that is pure good is separated from pure bad then Heaven and Hell will commence.  When Heaven and Hell commence the world changes beyond comprehension.  Perhaps all will power will disappear.


The Jewels of God become memories. Sentimentality is a derogatory term for the reliving of memories.  Memories relived provide nourishment.  Do not leave a plate of food uneaten, punishable in China, although I would be quick to forgive.  My false enthusiasm sickens people.  The falseness of my enthusiasm is only perceived; there is a perception of the falseness of enthusiasm based on the stereotypes prevalent on TV.  The truth is, for the most part, that when I act enthusiastic, I really am.  My enthusiasm has often been expressed in dancing, yet my mind perceives that I am an outcast.  Most of the people in the dance club seem to think theyíre better than me.  The young dance, the old endure.  I slipped through the cracks in society and belong nowhere.  However, curiously, hovering in space, I am a member of this realm.  When I am conscious, I cannot imagine very well, I basically operate off of memory and reflex.  When I am unconscious, I imagine new things told to me by a voice which is my voice but not my conscious voice. Not the voice I speak awake but the voice I speak asleep.  I alternate between conscious and unconscious because unconscious is the best place to imagine new things.  The unconscious sees things in a mellow way, the way they are meant to be basically.  While the image is still in the mind, I flip to the conscious mind by force of will and read the image from the short-term memory and understand the thing enough for trace consolidation to occur properly.  This way, I can store the raw thoughts appearing before my subconscious, some of which are God's jewels, and record them in journals and give them to the Public.  This way, the Public can begin to understand and then do what is necessary.


  Produce Judgments.

Then become Skeptical.  The fruit that bears truth is a fruit for the tooth.  If you won't admire your jewels, then who will?  At first you liked the jewel, but do you like it now? And after long meandering thought streams leading away from the jewel, you are no longer concerned with Judgment Production but with Skepticism.  This is about 3 degrees along the circle by my calculations. 

Judgment production, a kind of skepticism, always necessary so that rational timer interrupts will occur second nature ie subconsciously due to repetitive habit forming behavior these interrupts will be necessary for higher levels of activity.  However do not voice excessive negativity because it damages the collective.  And the collective is destined for higher levels of activity.  The golden age is young unless we destroy it ignore it and abhor it.  So remove the negativity.

Donít make the cage til youíre locked in a cage now youíre changiní rearranginí and nothingís the same itís all just a game why try you gonna get up get set up fall over and die only winners eat pie yet I try to survive cuz I thrive off the vibe that set out from nowhere I try to be good but would I be better just playiní for fun like Iím the only one I donít think so bingo gotta be straight til 38 then get crooked like Brooke did too young but all the same itís justa game until someone gets hurt hit the dirt and take cover from amorous lover who set out to bother sister and daughter oh I caught her stealiní glances and amorous advances on a fool with no feeling lost in dealing with stealers and robbers sitting in cob webs their eyes getting red as they drift towards the dead in a land full of lead bullets and dread belt buckles ha ha chuckles I say ďHelloĒ really Iím mellow made of Jello and my plants all turn yellow bugs breath shrug what the heck I ainít on no deck so correct it and go on donít you stop in some slop known for poppiní your head open as youíre gropiní for Chopin with your hope and your reason planting seeds in the river the giver of timeís prisoners the envisioner of miniature literature inspired monologues based on dialogues with the cogs in the machinery of society while I tried to be finally proud to be me maybe someday perhaps Sunday, anyway.

1000 The World does not end

1100-1400 Individuation

2000 The World does not end

2001-2300 back to Collective Reasoning


What is the fruition of superstition perhaps intuition about the humble condition they snort with disdain their fall my gain cuz whatever remains has value once unchained I gasp at their lapse cuz the chaps simply bask in their ignorance of truth they scream like their tooth split in half at the booth of free handouts the louts they continue to joust with each other despite shouts for help which they ignore thus closing the door to prizes in store not just boxes of more caviar and car keys with the greatest of ease they drive from the garage down the block park the car and get out walk a mile and smile while all the while their growing stockpile turns to ashes and dust because they just couldnít bust from the cages of mistrust and lust and rust mental health healing would be most appealing if they had even a feeling that they were wrong about real things I can still sing without dealing with my captors directly or to put it gently we lost mentally invisible delusions intermingle with truth to make mixturesÖ

This is a rap about cats and dogs and bumblebee road hogs with cogs in their cellar sparkiní thoughts interstellar American or what as I sputter over sewers of silver sparkle like rings on a pilfer as he rows his raft down the river on a sliver of rations as he cautions you against his own will to stash in your noggin the notion that still gets notice or do you suppose this show is for free youíve gots to pay a fee which is to see that life is our gift for sifting quite swift as we strive to make sure that nothing is missed that might be pertinent but donít be impossible youíll be an old fossil before you sort through the volume of information that blossoms from our Nation with the eyes of the Nation on a few different stations ignoring the elations of art and creation when thereís space for information but no person to be deceived by what is perceived because why be bereaved or bereft of the depth of the truth illusive and goofed because goofy was in chains and remains sublimated in drains to the irrational terminator like an alligator in the inner space of an engraver as he engraves a slate of hey wait they sky fell last Tuesday and do you know what Sooths say forget it just let Blues play youíve got any clues Jay?


The Cleverest?  Is that the goal?  Whatís Clever?  Have you lost your soul?  (to a dull colored bowl filled with Mocha and soul in a bowl on a shelf in a safe no thatís mine) my cavern with a safe a shelf and a soul in a bottle my bottle.  Soul inside me, what is my trajectory?  To flip over the page like a newborn sage crazy ego trip as usual maybe thatís why I like to write my audience my perceived neighborhood what a misfortunate impediment to vision the eye pointing inwards sees


Dull depressed constipated and sad

Small puny hunched a tad from a pad

But there is something that makes him glad

Besides escaping into fantasy until he goes mad

Cleverness the sight of which

Drives some to rage

Others to panic

Others to smile

Others to laugh

Others to agree and disagree

And most of the rest convince themselves that it really wasnít clever

Or that it was perverse AKA out of bounds

ďSkipping along heedlesslyĒ

with a grain of truth to that too

the fact that my spirit is declining

Iím losing the consciousness energy which is most abundant in kids



The experiment I conducted was a success because I discovered that modern people could actually cope indefinitely with modern times even if they had no control over their surroundings, provided they were properly medicated, legal or not.  The trick is in the love of God and acceptance of your place in the scheme of things, His things, ie. your personal mythology brings you to a state of complete withdrawal from the so-called ordinary activities of the multitudes and brings you into a much freer arena where you set the rules.  Here 95% of the people fall into the first trap which is to make your new activity so easy because it is a closed system.  Without Godís energy to penetrate through the currently unknown strata into your personal arena, you can get nowhere.  You must constantly include and incorporate unknowns, unresolved items.  That is the secret to the ability but you have to know a whole lot more before you can do anything but fall into the second trap, tempting Godís wrath.  Here is where it helps, first of all, to be humble, and if possible, patient.  The deal is donít be proud and donít rush.  As each item resolves, take time to digest.  Then, see how you react to it and then see what other people might think about it and then incorporate it into your own conceptual universe.  Progressively the items decrease in magnitude as the consciousness fades. Yet it is all necessary, for the crystallization of Reality to occur.


The production of mellow music must be, above all other forms of music, the most important.  This because it can sometimes be the only remedy for pain induced by stress, verbal abuse, physical and mental discomfort induced by wrongness of physical care or mental care Ė particularly the mental pain.  Music, particularly mellow music, is a mental balm, ie it soothes the aching brain.  Other forms of music are riskier and tend to be trade-offs.  However, I enjoy and have enjoyed for a long time almost every form of music.  The total immersion in music is what I enjoy the most.  It is hard to get to that Dionysian point, but once you're there, you're there.

Take care of your jewels.


Paul Nathanael Berland

1/2000 - 4/2001