Not to devour Godís Jewels
Copyright © 2001
Paul Nathanael Berland
to devour Godís jewels; to take what you can and work with that, letting that
gift, that ultimately originates with God, to give you pleasure, and then to creatively expand on the pleasurable
experience so that others can benefit from the gift that God has allowed you to
experience. To eat the fruit and to
then become strong and then to produce fruits of your own, that is the challenge
of life, and to do so amid multitudinous demands of survival, including exchange
of fruits and other necessities with other members of the society.
That is the main point; to communicate the dream of the jewel-maker, who was
devoured by those who devoured his jewels. By producing your own fruits,
you help to offload the Creator. The devil be damned, people gotta know,
so I told them, "Yo!" Listen up at the sound of the crow.
If you decline all transactions then you will cease to be
represented in the courts and meeting-places of those with the power to demolish
you. To always keep within your
mindís grasp of Reality and within every sub-world within that
mindís-eye-view of Reality, there must be the presence of an unknown patch
through which works the will of God and the hosts of other spirits that also can
demolish us. Hence to keep all
essential elements of reality active in your own transactions, this is no easy
The realm of ideas, imagination, is different from the
realm of spirit. My idea of the
picture of the whole spirit world is a forest.
In the material realm, everyone interacts in society under various roles,
and these roles, like ideas, and spirits, struggle against each other.
Yet all roles in society are performing a function, so one is not better
than another. The function is the crystallization of Reality.
Therefore the complaint made by one of one role attacking another of
another role solely because that role is not "productive" or
"beneficial", this complaint is soundly bogus. Worse than that,
it is wasted energy. All roles are required for society to operate.
Many ideas, like roles, are patches of visions of what really comprise of
interlocking circles. Ideas are
lodged inside those circles and comprise a 360 degree spectrum of possible
forms. Truth is comprised of an almost infinitely complex binary
mapping of every point in the realm of ideas.
My idea of Truth is a complex black-and-white fractal image (thanks to
Ken for telling me of his vision of all Reality being governed by fractals, back
in '91, which came to him while tripping at a David Bowie concert).
The self-similar units are like computer subroutines although far more complex
yet simpler That was Ken's vision and it really is the closest thing
Truth can be thought of in picture form. One can color it based on their own perception of it,
and indeed Truth does seem to favor certain forms over others, yet in essence
Truth is faithful to what God thought was important.
Meditation on the traditional Zen koan, ďWhat is the
sound of one hand clapping?Ē was claimed by Buddhist monks to be a path to
Enlightenment, certainly in the same league as Truth. The One Hand, a solitary monk, the hand symbolic of a human
being with many powerful capacities, at least compared to those other animals
that donít have hands and thumbs and such.
The solitary monk, content in himself.
When he claps in delight, it is only the One Hand clapping.
When two Hands clap, they are loving each other, giving and receiving
delight from each other. The One Hand loves himself and does not need other people.
His outward attitude can be expressed by sitting in the Buddhist posture,
cross-legged on the floor sitting, an attitude of ambivalence to the outside
world. He is clapping inside. The world is clapping because he is so
peaceful, inside and out, sitting there on his Buddha mat, seemingly oblivious
but actually quite in tune with everything, although not necessarily physically
close things. When everyone copied this
maneuver, the Zen teachers had to introduce subsidiary koans to make sure the
student had really grasped and understood the concept of self-reliance.
This is all speculation; if you read books about Zen and such, they are all
quite secretive and they won't tell you anything. I will tell because
there is no longer time to let God illustrate this to everyone through beautiful
experiences. If we offload God then God can get a night of rest.
The path is narrow so like an arrow I shoot through the
chute from a bow of my Creators to the moon like a harpoon to the craters to
slay Darth Vaders and Space Invaders Tomb Raiders Harsh Graders Grenaders no
just kidding Iím just sitting here ranting with a cat on my belly who seems
quite jolly so Iíll be very careful not to disturb him with versions of word
spins for murmuring into mikes at night when Iím not feeling right with the
light burning bright the glow of a figment beneath pigments of red and blue and
green making it seem like Iím fine when in fact Iím agitated now I wanna
sleep Iím sated so gate in the plate of good dreams and rip the seams on
What does it
matter when youíre only getting fatter
gonna make you go splatter
theyíll smash ya too many times they robbed ya
Now youíre toe up in the throw up I cannot go forward one more word
Except to slow
up and disappear for fear of looking queer
donít get furious your criticism is superfluous
To the people
up top and the people down below
What I got to
say is you got to flow
If you donít
think that I guess you didnít know
Or you just
donít want to have your own show
Checking the pool with a corner of the toe
How much longer
do I really have to go
Trapped in a
crazy circus game show
Can I really
afford silliness? I donít know
all that is pure good is separated from pure bad then Heaven and Hell will
commence. When Heaven and Hell
commence the world changes beyond comprehension.
Perhaps all will power will disappear.
The Jewels of God become memories. Sentimentality is a
derogatory term for the reliving of memories.
Memories relived provide nourishment.
Do not leave a plate of food uneaten, punishable in China, although I
would be quick to forgive. My false
enthusiasm sickens people. The
falseness of my enthusiasm is only perceived; there is a perception of the
falseness of enthusiasm based on the stereotypes prevalent on TV.
The truth is, for the most part, that when I act enthusiastic, I really
am. My enthusiasm has often been
expressed in dancing, yet my mind perceives that I am an outcast.
Most of the people in the dance club seem to think theyíre better than
me. The young dance, the old endure.
I slipped through the cracks in society and belong nowhere.
However, curiously, hovering in space, I am a member of this realm.
When I am conscious, I cannot imagine very well, I basically operate off
of memory and reflex. When I am
unconscious, I imagine new things told to me by a voice which is my voice but
not my conscious voice. Not the voice I speak awake but the voice I speak asleep.
I alternate between conscious and unconscious because unconscious is the
best place to imagine new things. The
unconscious sees things in a mellow way, the way they are meant to be basically.
While the image is still in the mind, I flip to the conscious mind by
force of will and read the image from the short-term memory and understand the
thing enough for trace consolidation to occur properly.
This way, I can store the raw thoughts appearing before my subconscious, some of
which are God's jewels, and record them in journals and give them to the
Public. This way, the Public can begin to understand and then do what is
Then become Skeptical. The fruit that bears truth is a
fruit for the tooth. If you won't admire your jewels, then who will?
At first you liked the jewel, but do you like it now? And after long meandering
thought streams leading away from the jewel, you are no longer concerned with
Judgment Production but with Skepticism. This is about 3 degrees along the
circle by my calculations.
Judgment production, a kind of skepticism, always necessary so
that rational timer interrupts will occur second nature ie subconsciously due to
repetitive habit forming behavior these interrupts will be necessary for higher
levels of activity. However do not
voice excessive negativity because it damages the collective. And the
collective is destined for higher levels of activity. The golden age is
young unless we destroy it ignore it and abhor it. So remove the
Donít make the cage til
youíre locked in a cage now youíre changiní rearranginí and nothingís
the same itís all just a game why try you gonna get up get set up fall over
and die only winners eat pie yet I try to survive cuz I thrive off the vibe that
set out from nowhere I try to be good but would I be better just playiní for
fun like Iím the only one I donít think so bingo gotta be straight til 38
then get crooked like Brooke did too young but all the same itís justa game
until someone gets hurt hit the dirt and take cover from amorous lover who set
out to bother sister and daughter oh I caught her stealiní glances and amorous
advances on a fool with no feeling lost in dealing with stealers and robbers
sitting in cob webs their eyes getting red as they drift towards the dead in a
land full of lead bullets and dread belt buckles ha ha chuckles I say
ďHelloĒ really Iím mellow made of Jello and my plants all turn yellow bugs
breath shrug what the heck I ainít on no deck so correct it and go on donít
you stop in some slop known for poppiní your head open as youíre gropiní
for Chopin with your hope and your reason planting seeds in the river the giver
of timeís prisoners the envisioner of miniature literature inspired monologues
based on dialogues with the cogs in the machinery of society while I tried to be
finally proud to be me maybe someday perhaps Sunday, anyway.
The World does not end
The World does not end
back to Collective Reasoning
What is the fruition of superstition perhaps intuition about
the humble condition they snort with disdain their fall my gain cuz whatever
remains has value once unchained I gasp at their lapse cuz the chaps simply bask
in their ignorance of truth they scream like their tooth split in half at the
booth of free handouts the louts they continue to joust with each other despite
shouts for help which they ignore thus closing the door to prizes in store not
just boxes of more caviar and car keys with the greatest of ease they drive from
the garage down the block park the car and get out walk a mile and smile while
all the while their growing stockpile turns to ashes and dust because they just
couldnít bust from the cages of mistrust and lust and rust mental health
healing would be most appealing if they had even a feeling that they were wrong
about real things I can still sing without dealing with my captors directly or
to put it gently we lost mentally invisible delusions intermingle with truth to
This is a
rap about cats and dogs and bumblebee road hogs with cogs in their cellar
sparkiní thoughts interstellar American or what as I sputter over sewers of
silver sparkle like rings on a pilfer as he rows his raft down the river on a
sliver of rations as he cautions you against his own will to stash in your
noggin the notion that still gets notice or do you suppose this show is for free
youíve gots to pay a fee which is to see that life is our gift for sifting
quite swift as we strive to make sure that nothing is missed that might be
pertinent but donít be impossible youíll be an old fossil before you sort
through the volume of information that blossoms from our Nation with the eyes of
the Nation on a few different stations ignoring the elations of art and creation
when thereís space for information but no person to be deceived by what is
perceived because why be bereaved or bereft of the depth of the truth illusive
and goofed because goofy was in chains and remains sublimated in drains to the
irrational terminator like an alligator in the inner space of an engraver as he
engraves a slate of hey wait they sky fell last Tuesday and do you know what
Sooths say forget it just let Blues play youíve got any clues Jay?
The Cleverest? Is
that the goal? Whatís Clever?
Have you lost your soul? (to
a dull colored bowl filled with Mocha and soul in a bowl on a shelf in a safe no
thatís mine) my cavern with a safe a shelf and a soul in a bottle my bottle.
Soul inside me, what is my trajectory?
To flip over the page like a newborn sage crazy ego trip as usual maybe
thatís why I like to write my audience my perceived neighborhood what a
misfortunate impediment to vision the eye pointing inwards sees
depressed constipated and sad
puny hunched a tad from a pad
there is something that makes him glad
escaping into fantasy until he goes mad
the sight of which
some to rage
to agree and disagree
most of the rest convince themselves that it really wasnít clever
that it was perverse AKA out of bounds
a grain of truth to that too
fact that my spirit is declining
losing the consciousness energy which is most abundant in kids
HOWEVER, I AM NOT BECOMING LESS PRODUCTIVE.
The experiment I conducted was a success because I discovered
that modern people could actually cope indefinitely with modern times even if
they had no control over their surroundings, provided they were properly
medicated, legal or not. The trick
is in the love of God and acceptance of your place in the scheme of things, His
things, ie. your personal mythology brings you to a state of complete withdrawal
from the so-called ordinary activities of the multitudes and brings you into a
much freer arena where you set the rules. Here
95% of the people fall into the first trap which is to make your new activity so
easy because it is a closed system. Without
Godís energy to penetrate through the currently unknown strata into your
personal arena, you can get nowhere. You
must constantly include and incorporate unknowns, unresolved items.
That is the secret to the ability but you have to know a whole lot more
before you can do anything but fall into the second trap, tempting Godís
wrath. Here is where it helps,
first of all, to be humble, and if possible, patient.
The deal is donít be proud and donít rush.
As each item resolves, take time to digest. Then, see how you react to it and then see what other people
might think about it and then incorporate it into your own conceptual universe.
Progressively the items decrease in magnitude as the consciousness fades.
Yet it is all necessary, for the crystallization of Reality to occur.
LIKES MUSICAL JEWELS
production of mellow music must be, above all other forms of music, the most
important. This because it can
sometimes be the only remedy for pain induced by stress, verbal abuse, physical
and mental discomfort induced by wrongness of physical care or mental care Ė
particularly the mental pain. Music,
particularly mellow music, is a mental balm, ie it soothes the aching
brain. Other forms of music are riskier and tend to be trade-offs.
However, I enjoy and have enjoyed for a long time almost every form of
music. The total immersion in music is what I enjoy the most. It is
hard to get to that Dionysian point, but once you're there, you're there.
care of your jewels.
Paul Nathanael Berland
1/2000 - 4/2001