THE FOLLOWING IS A SPECIAL CNN NEWS REPORT

*****************************************************************

Good evening, this is CNN correspondent Jim Jimmy with a special news brief. The incredibly spectacular super music band known as The Derelllicts is rumored to have a new release in June.  The title of the new album is said to be "Don't Call Me Whitey" or for short, "The Whitey Sessions."  Insiders say that this new release will be the sloppiest effort put forth by The Derelllicts, bordering on the realms of noise. CNN recently caught up with Derelllicts James C and Bradley Smith.  Here is what they had to say about the new album:

JAMES C:  Yeah . . . . um . . . . .I wanted to do something white.  Kinda like bunnies or snowflakes.  And also . . . . . because maybe I think we're all white.

BRADLEY SMITH:  F*ck you.

CNN correspondent Jane Janie Jane also spoke with Derelllict Jared Colinger in early December.  This is what he had to say:

JARED COLINGER:  I think The Derelllicts are moving in new directions . . . . new instruments, new musicians.  Actually I think on our next album you'll be hearing a lot of other musicians.  Yes . . . . other musicians that we paid . . . that we paid to play on our album.  (coughs)

Dick Dickee, spokesman for Derelllict Records, claims that "Whitey" will be the most sexual, provocative, and controversial Derelllict record yet.  There's no doubt about that folks.  Mmmhmmm.  This is Jim Jimmy for CNN.

*************************************************************

Written March 8, 1999