Michael
No more
Walking up six flights of stairs
Or throwing down the key
Because there is no buzzer

No more
Walking thirteen blocks
With thirty pounds of laundry
In the fuckin' dead of winter

No more faulty wiring
No more painted floors
No more spitting out my Ultra Bright
On top of dirty dishes
In the one and only sink

Hello, to my walk in closets
Tidy as Park Avenue
Hello, my butcher block table
I could get used
I could get used
I could get used to you

No more
Climbing over sleeping people
Before you get out the door
Of your own building

Michael and Jonathan
No more

Michael
Noxious fumes from gas heaters
That are illegal

Jonathan
Or will blow up while you are sleeping

Michael and Jonathan
Ohhhh!

Michael
No more

Jonathan
Leaky ceilings

Michael
No more

Jonathan
Holes in the floor

Michael and Jonathan
No more

Jonathan
Taking a shower in the kitchen
While your roommate's
Eating breakfast

Michael and Jonathan
And you are getting water
On his corn flakes

Hello, to shiny
New parquet wood floors
As waxed as a wealthy girl's legs
Hello, dear Mister Dishwasher

Michael
I could get used

Jonathan
I could get used

Michael
I could get used to you

Jonathan
I could get used to you

Michael and Jonathan
I could get used to you

Jonathan
No more, exotic

Michael
No more, neurotic

Michael and Jonathan
No more anything
But pleasantly robotic

Michael
We are moving on up

Jonathan
We are moving on up

Michael
To the East Side

Jonathan
To the East Side

Michael and Jonathan
To a deluxe apartment
In the sky

Jonathan
What's that?

Michael
Oh, come on
Hold on, breathe

Jonathan
Uhhhh!

Michael
Easy

Jonathan
What are you doing?

Michael
It's him
Ah, hold the phone

Michael and Jonathan
Hello, to dear Mister Doorman
Who looks like Captain Kangaroo
Hello dear fellow, and how do you do?

Jonathan
I could get used

Michael
I could get used

Jonathan
Even seduced

Michael
Even seduced

Michael and Jonathan
I could get used to you
Ooow!
Oh, yeah!

-Tick, Tick...Boom!