(I donít care if I die ) I made everything clear with her before she left,
 We would see how we felt whilst she was away,
A chance to develop our confidence while we were apart.

I can't say that I feel nothing, If I did then I couldn't bear
to live with myself, I mean what sort of man would I be by
not missing her, Well I do that and Ive said the things I missed.
I guess you don't realise what you have till its gone,

 but I could move on it's just that moving on as I am trying to
makes me feel sad. I don't know how to describe my feelings,
And Portions of this is fighting and boom, fighting and boom fighting and boom,
 this, of this is but fighting and boom fighting and boom, fighting boom,
(Sorry very much,
4, la 4 la la 4
drop 4 HO.)

Your mother never let me see you,
She said you never needed to know me.
You didnít know how much that hurt.
But just for a while.

Now you bothered to find me, and for that at least Iím grateful
Why blame me when I can blame myself.
I didnít know anyhting I didnít do anything I didnít know anything,
Kind of like splitting.

(Chocolaten number 5)
kind of like giving in, kind of like splitting up, *4
kind of like splitting, And Portions of this is fighting and boom, fighting and boom fighting and boom,
 this, of this is but fighting and boom fighting and boom, fighting boom,
 

(Sorry very much, 4, la 4 la la 4 drop 4 HO.)
(mummy save us?) did mummy say this. scares us with a tissue,
 

you must now say good bye jelly beans are good for you,
I donít care if I die, mummy save us
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thatís it 4 milestones, he said itís a no go, your card is coming from a distance
 I just saw the letters and read the postcards from holidays, Iíll never have.
 Ill see you, Iíll see expenses and Itís so heavy I wish I could float,
Pick myself  my dust my self. pick myself up, dust my self down
I work with passion, I want to be helped.
Can we stay in once 2 many times
Looking forward to the simpsons I could have laughed a lot and then what, and you sit with the silence
He had young hands turning on to pick,
 on you never believe how good you were

Iíll take her phases and trade them off.
I  just wanted to keep you at your bay
And I donít want you much now, I Ďd leave it behind.
Full of ideas and wrecked cars.
Home looking for your own olympics

On your own, I see your face when I close my eyes
You said that I didnít  want to be alone
And you mentioned that all you had was never enough
My hands at your throat again some things never change
Why did you lean towards me when I whisper your name,
I only do it out of spite and I could die from the shame,
Stick and stones may break your bones
Your mum will never hurt us.

Slaps from all sides, your ears go red.
I guess you hear more thinking and talking about
The time of our lives, the worst
 Ones, What we must never do stories.

 itís a wonder in this passion, Id find so funny memories
and youíd say the heat has gone out.

You said you were tired of your life.

In your confessional, I danced to the aphex twin.
ďKnock it inĒ she said, listen, its in the instant letter.
For, you swap your hearts from the earth
His music was bigger than us and this isnít a real event.

This is all in a discotheque, and itís the same nite as last weeks, the material is making me dirty.
And my email is no longer funny , (if it ever was ,)

ď(Whispered nonsense)
all I said and what ever I did itís just a shame I just canít turn back Iím already fifty miles from what I said. On the way from something special you said.
on the way from something special on the way to somethin special
and whatever you did then itís just the little things I know you had scrambled egg and it always reminds me of you
small wonder that you never take anything I say seriouslyĒ
to leave your mark on the world you began to sing, and sing
you turned and you spun and you moved to that song, that I could never write
because I knew that you danced for him 2 .
there was always someone else for you
turn to me when Iím not around, work drove us apart I work to live,
and not the other way round. Your small hands clasped into mine
I feel their coldness as I lay here
trying to imagine the space you left in this place.

Slide the way past here : Slide away last year.

Conscience ďYou made her drive her crazy , with everything you do.
You made her turn her crazy, with all those stupid rulesĒ
I just wanted to keep you.
 

Whisper it on the breeze , well you need to get away
And take her hand in mine and weíll  sleep this century
To a bedroom floor where I cannot dwell
My head is spinning with my foolish pride.
<bk>
The band that mattered no longer tried
And weíre stamping our feet to keep warm
Kicking our heels looking for a new craze
The music came within, pictures in the future,
It took no effort to be moved, by a stationary stopping,
These punctures my cocoon in my head phones,
And there we sit staring at the colours of the worst
Piece of plastic, it donít really matter to me, it donít really matter anymore

Weíre drunk.,Weíre drunk
Neutered for the future, Neutered for the future, all.

I wouldnít mind if there was another side,
a glimpse of embarressment :gave us
some good stories, thoughout the time it all seemed right now theres something uncouth.

When we split you said you have been good for me, and thatís the story that began to tell, I wish I had a good friend when Iím sober Iím too sad too care. Iím lying not to me, all I have for company is a guitar.
If you want to listen to us, you have got to get out and find her. he wonít come into your room.
Youíve got it made.
Singer in the crosshairs itís allowed to put them all away, turn around and Iím laughing, as my head goes empty and black.
Itís a bleak house but my stains, comfort me still.
Multicoloured business cards fall from your wallet, Iíve never worn clogs and I donít ever want to.
But I overheard my sister, I never bought tulips, I never smelt the roses.
But the sis ter wears a dutch cap, what does it mean?
And in tradition we  get up and dance and if shes at it, then why arenít I,
Then why am I so ugly,  why is she lovely?
When I was boasting in bed last night when weíre still fucking.
I was picturing that girl from tescos packing my groceries.
When you looked at me after I grew bored I was thinking of overthings
And if I believed in god Iíd pray nite and day to get me away from here
I want to see the world before you break it for me.
I feel embarressed to think, you said I think more than love
Your mobile rings you answer it while we walk in the street and I feel so foolish. Itís always good to have friends
Your partner how I hate that word quietly sleeps on undisturbed by passion youll only feel safe in the morning
So when I watch the TV turn into a dot.
I turn and draw the cutains in the morning,
The nite is peaceful and in the day I canít sleep
If I had to work, if there was any way to work in safety I would.
(They reduced me to screaming
Itís good it makes no difference.) whispered.
 
 
 
 
 

Laughing at me
Why are you looking at me
Havenít we said all that there is to say

To have and to hold.

Fall out of bed, and you fell on my head
Theres No reason for empty tears to empty on my face

What to have and to hold?

Didnít all I say justify the means, (Made you want to leave, you need to be free)
All I said and all I never didnít know (where did you keep it all, knowing weíd have to fall)
Just staying above it, ashamed of waiting. (Forgeting how to live, Didnít you need this wait)
Suffocated on my worries just ashamed of waiting
The future would have never happened anyway
Just standing in a supermarket made me steal the lamb or die I dinít eat it anyway

(first verse) to have to feel
send me an open ticket.

Get me stoned guide me around.(what I think you say, what I hear you say)
List the things have never hurt you once (what I hear you say all I ever learn)
Walking in the drizzle it seemed more exciting at night to follow(forgetting how to live havenít you seen it all)
All I knew and whatever I enjoyed, seems fucked up anyway I blame me too.
 

When you turn back to me ( wipe the smile of my face)
Will you turn out to me (before it goes fade)
When you turn back to me ( wipe the smile of my face)
Could  you still be anyone, (forever goes so)

(I need you so, what do I need it for ) for all I heard was a chain of shame
(what I need it by, when I sat and cried)
(all I set it free, made you want to leave)
always waiting for you dying inside waiting for a ride bodies lying never trying
always belying the unending crying
go. This is what you need.

So I guess youíll get the message?

Wouldnít you rather die alone? X2
Didnít you make it too late, for the circumstances
To go wrong when its alll gone

Wouldnít you rather die alone.

Give them what they want, love them , and then go and leave them X2
Give them what they want, love me donít ever leave me now.
 
 
 
 
 

Youíll miss me when Iím gone she said with irony.
Youíll miss me when Im gone she said with irony and pity
What a scrappy shame you didnít like my phase.
What a pity that you werenít  here, for you said Iíd need no-one to blame, me
What a pity you werenít here what a shame there was no laughing no tears when you left,
When you made it painfully obvious you didnít want to be with me.
What did you need, you need a break from what did you take? Everything.
What did you need you took everything for granted but my love,
You found out the results of your test. And it was wrong to
Wait forever, X 3 you can wait forever,
And It was the best the best time that we discovered your life, it was the last time the future was brite,
You lied to me to save my feelings, if I had some?
I need some space in my life, already it is dusk for us, behind your smile I can see youíre upset with everything you say its not me you say it is
Alright to fight, itís alright to fight, itís alright to fight.

And when you make all up.

Will you save me my troubles and loneliness, Iíll wait forever
But I ainít gonna feel so near as we were.
I hang on every word, any words that make no sense
I hang on every word and it made no sense,
I am missing everything. I am missing everything,
Forever you will need me.
I am missing everything. I am alone today and forever, I canít
Pay for my mistakes, you said it was easy to get laid, and I can make that mistake again.
Your hair was longer then it made you look younger less angry,
Wait forever, is too long, I guess waiting forever is too long,
I guess waiting forever , I guess waiting forever, I guess waiting forever.
 

I hope youre home tonite,

I know youre home tonite, I thought that is not us itís the situation , that stops us from being alright
For a while you knew that I smothered you with my love,
And Its not us thatís wrong, if we find another space
but I know you want me, and  Iíve never questioned that, but I donít think you can stand me when I become this depressed,
 and you are  one with force and  beauty I mean
I feel too pressured and demoralised to show, and theyíre there and theyíve been there in the past,
But how can I be free when Iím watching you go down. Iím watching you suffering with sadness
I know you like a diary. Donít want you to be there, donít want you to be there. donít believe youíll be there donít want you to be there donít need you to be there

And I have to be working now, money is the devil. And I think that you need to speak up  for yourself.
And after this time itíll be a long time, but will you be faithful to me,  and thatís when you say
When you say I believe in love,

And I know you love me, Iíve never questioned that. And I never will  But I donít think you can stand me when I become this depressed.
Youíre the one with autumnal beauty. I mean  and the winter pressure had to show this part of me,
And theyíre there and theyíre there. Been there in the past these
Items of freedom when youíre wearing your tie,
Down, when youre wearing yourself down,
Down, well could you see the change?
Could you see the change in me when I raid your diary, donít need me to be there, you donít need me to be there, you donít need me to be there, what did it say I donít want you to know, you at all.

And I donít want to read your diary you donít need me to be there. You donít need me to be there you donít me to be there,

Get me close, a space on your address page,
I donít want to be in your diary,   I donít want you to see me, I donít want this to be there I donít need you to need me. I donít you to write about me anymore I donít want to be your diary. I donít need this to be there, donít need you to do this, in your diary, diary

It aintí easy watching you sleep alone,
They said it aint easy they said it isnít much to tease me anymore,
Zo said you donít love it , Zo said you donít love it itís easy to take,
Zo say you donít love me so say you donít love me I canít really taste,
Sweet thing all you have to give,
Sweet tasting medecine dribbles down my chin
So say you donít love me, well I donít understand how it could be so cold in this room
Zo said you donít love me , Zo said you donít love me I donít understand,
I was never given a choice I was always locked out,
I was never given a choice I was always left out,
So say you donít love , so say you donít love me well what does it matter,
I saw you cross the road with that other boy , who looked a lot like some tool out of travis, (
(youíve got your everyting) repeated bvox.
So say you donít love it when I come home drunk, well whoís laughing now,
Just a taste of friendship in a smokey room I donít belong here either,
Just a sweet taste. Whoís laughing now?
Just a sweetest taste well whoís watching over you,
I aint gonna draw your own conclusions, I aint gonna go, I aint gonna go,
So say you donít know me well whos watching over you,
So say you donít know me X2.
So say you donít love me, so say it , well whos to blame,
Cast the stones watching them skipping and shatter,
So say you donít love this,,
So you donít know me, so say it loud and say it proud.
 

With a copy of your vogue, in front of you, It makes it so easy to regress,

What do you make of this when we slept all alone, you said that Iíd never made you laugh,
Sitting on the fire escape, chain smoked you life away, wasnít I the one who made sad?

What do you mean what do you need, what do I need from this, where do you need me why do you need me a desperate waste of time,
I put this chain around your neck for your birthday  made you shed a tear, do you take it off when youre with him?
The scars that I saw you burn to prove that our lives werenít wasted, can you ignore the ones that still weep?
Take me away, take me away, take me away from this
Take me away, take me away, kill me, cut all around,
Donít you get it you threw it away now, you gave it all up for a little piece of attention, I keep finding, your notes in my pocket, didnít you say what mattered were the clothes you left behind,

I could never read your mind, what the fuck made you think I could, whatever could I mean to you?
A notch above the bed tonite, was it that that made you feel alive, what is that I must do to heal?

Take me away, take me away, take me away from this
Take me away, take me away, kill me, Isnít life unkind,

(ÖÖÖ..) Is all that you hurt,
All that you hurt is all that you are,
All that you are is becoming all that you hurt,
All that you hurt is all that you want,

You said that youíd call me, you promised you would,
I know heís your best friend but he made me feel a fool.
I know you donít love him, and you made it in the tree line,
Why did this hurt me, you thought I was so_ dull.

I look at my crossed my legs stare at my pages, and I wish I could see you again,
Look at the white walls, in my small room, I donít have fire, you caused me my friends,
Donít go, got bile instead,
Got violence instead, got mine instead,
Gotten my share, got my share, Got my own share,
Got violence instead, got my share, violence instead,
Got blood in my share, got my share, got more than my share,
All in my shame, got back my shame, got violence instead.
 
 
 
 
 

You may put up defences, you will build a fortress, a garage in a small town, youíre coming in.

Sort of conflict in this situation.

You talk me into the ground and I think of what to say,
 but I donít think that I donít know of anything worth having,
 weíve been through this all before and somethings just donít fit
you said youíd come in the night for my life blood,
You looked like you wouldnít hurt  anyone and you wouldnít sleep around you might say that I was asking for it, this lite itís my bed to lie and itís a sty.
This house is quiet now
 I sit nestled on this couch realising
I will never be content with what words I can choose  for you.
What would Apollinare or Ezra have written to their loves, Iíll produce.
When you ask for the language of my heart
So let me  try , so let me try to transcribe it and Iíll begin by saying how I hate watching the couple in the corner on the box cuddling and making love. They crawl all over. It makes things seem moreÖ..
To call, as lonely as the autumnal nite breezes, we must deal with this.

I keep thinking of that part, you and me know we know about
I keep thinking of that part, though apart I feel our love only,
Though youre far away I still think about you.
Though youíre far away I still think about you. Though I like being apart. From you feel so hollow and lonely as a ( maze))))) we made the right decisions to deal with it.
What you see is what you get
What I miss is what you are to me.
What we should be is living and being and having the times of your life. The best years were wasted with memories. Dusty photographs filed in drawers dusty memories, will she forget me
Will she forget me.

How do you say.
Every day brings me through,
Look at my face when you come, turn the page and read my story. X2
Itís all of nowhere
Close your eyes and run away wish your life away.
Visited by disgrace I fell in with desire.
 

Head down shuffling the street
I like rubbing the new me,
Head down watching them sweep it
Liked hearing the sympathy

I forget my (listed) crimes
I canít pay the price
I watched them pull up in front of this store
I saw them waiting for (me).

They mark em where theyíre watching
Well Whoís laughing now
Trigger pulls trigger pulled and I braced the door

Twisted honour drifting
Your Body falls to the ground
Kiss me from the darkening sea,
Something.

Something hides whats there, something live

So quiet I want to, take this gun into my heart
Youíre Crazy but its good you came back to a seige
No pain, no reason theres no escape at all
I will find fame pressed between pages of the law _____ Weighed down

Often could let my hands in the blue, my hands turning blue, got my hands and yawning in your

daughter darker must come
and bullet can hide me inside
Is something closer to being alive,
Is something Iíll never have, theres something Iíll never have
Something, suffering,
Something Iíll never be, In love (at least I have some sympathy)

Here lies under the farm,
What do you say medicine what does it
Matter for a while something, medecine medecine medecine
What does it matter for a while
My mercy my mercy medecine______,

Take everything for granted put up my
hands (trickling with deceit) and I
walk into the day, And I
see myself reflected and I
see my shame in their shields and I
see my faults in my blame, anything
thatís cold is all I have
 

you saw yourself
reflected in their shades,
rifles held at aim, whispered
take him,

The hardest thing
Youíll ever  do,
Just take my life
Just take it
This hardest thing
Youíll ever do
Just take
(Keep)
I need to suffer to feel alive
I Need to feel their icey hand on my back, on my back on my,
On my back and on my,

You know how to take this
From all this horror take you
And my bodies twitching,
Itís good to be back
In the land of living
I wish I could be forgiven
I wish theres something there.
Down in my soul like cure.

Is what you couldnít have,

throw me down,
is full of pins
wonít you take my life
wonít you take it,
 

E Ė D ĖG (tune B string to G)

Take me away from here
 

She said that shed never be married,
That shed never swim in the sea,
The affair that she detected
was  all  directed at me,

We thought weíd grow old together
 In a wooden hut on the big sur,
Sleep late into the morning
Throw pennies from the pier,

Nothing was wasted far away.

Nothing was wasted far away,
When we made our mistakes did you hear me laughing bout them,
The wouldnít know why the wooden horse was crying and they made me wait.

Holding to the ceiling,
I canít stop the room from spinning I pulled the bookcase on my head,
And I think I was
And I wait around for you to not come around.

What you ÖÖÖ

I said that Iím lonely
Itís never happened before,
Because I saw your mother,
I saw her face in yours

She had the time to love me,
She spent time with her phone
Whenever I called you at work
Made me wait  and hang

Made me wait and hang

Better times could come later
When we have some time apart.
Getting into codeine
Never gave me back a heart
When I saw you crying
I almost raised my hand
Not to try to slap you,
But to be closer than before.

C#D G Gdim F#Dim E bit
Your mother will never want me.
Shes just tried to hurt you
I was drunk and foolish
You were never home on time.
You never learnt the right lines to say what I might say
Iíve wasted my life for you.
 
 

That I didnít like fucking your mum
That I didnít like being with her
She made feel wanted
She made me feel loved she made me feel alive alive
Made me feel alive, made me feel alive.
I wanted to aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
 

She liked to look in the frosty mirror. She saw a window into herself.
And falling out with a publisher who, didnít he know that you were blind of yourself, getting into nothing, getting onto nowhere without him, and you will find, youíve lost your way back, youíve got no reaction
I wanted to help you
find someone else at least  find yourself.
flew to the mountain, lived by the green
haunted the place of your own, own home,
I thought  you hated fresh air (something died that day)

Just a little love makes you wake up. With expectation
Like Like youíre excited for your holiday,

What does it mean to her what does it mean to you what does it mean to her.

Iíve seen more dirty mags than most men have, Iím shocked and disturbed by your keys
The sigh and her  looking back at me,

I had to change her mind, I tried to make you mine
What does it mean to you what does it mean to her.

Just a drink before bed,
Get me off my brick  head.
Thought it was allright.
I wasnít so at night,
 
 

I want to help you
 find someone else.at least to find your self.
into your mountain  grieve  your holy home,
violence and a place you can call your own
where no one can stop you, no.

Just a little love makes you wake up.
Forgive me its all for nothing, you gave me a sore reaction
and her she needs her space,
And her clothes she wears and she shows it all,
Off.

(Rock here.)

Dip the finger ink hot water
You got a call from solvency.
You want a place to call you home your own.
Moving in,.

Iím just a casual observer
Caught between the eyelamps sea
No longer feeling no longer feeling.
So hyped about this,
So frightened about this.

Donít get all confused,
Let your hair rule your hands
Youíre a littery bee in a bonnet
Was allright you saw your calm,
So frightened about this
Chatted once about the rye
Grown man was all rank
 

Take that weapon and use it, I donít care to confuse you.
Turn that gift used  for a while,  one place where you canít get it all off
It was a weapon pushed against my wrist,
Mother call off the dogs ď Iíll tell you somethingĒ
 thereís a time when I make my own mistakes
Regrets are not really to be  counted, ready to be counted, ready to be counted ready to be all mine.

Agony aunt on the phone
To people you almost know.
Offer advices all the time
About stuff thatís not important

In the street restraints for children
Itís the best thing you can do about him
I donít see it that way  because
Theyre not as close as you are to this
Theyíre not as close as you are

Where does that leave me, out in the cold
Where do we stand please  me put you feet where youre told,

I wanted to walk out of this mistake of wire,
I thought its good to be liked, buddy youíll never see oh why,
A place, a queue is all it amounts to
Dole queue or manager a park in a white wedding,

Have to queue, have to win & had to queue and have to win,
Take my money from me, put it all in the lottery,
And one day I might not have to go to work anymore,

Here is your lovely wife, sheís a sight to behold
Sheíll be there when you get old from this D day will the be there, never be cold
never be told. never be proles,

you donít need no need to fight anymore
Now itís time to roll over and give in,
Youíve built your life apart from your friends,
People grow up in and out of love, and theres always,
Times when we remember sitting under the bus shelter,
Sharing our last bag of chips, always questioning Why it has to be so bad, and look at us now,
You with your home, your car  & your wife, X2
& Children on the way,

me with my selfish dreams of life, giving into the scheme of things,
you with your hope in you car and you wife, youíre going to get it all in time oh wait.
 
 

Nothing quite prepares you for the shock of being there
 in the cold night the moon sneaks into the cover, and you duck under the sheets, afraid of something nice,
you lift up from all sides, as the wind
crawls under the door, curl and forget youíre here alone
.there is no monster in the garden.
but you live on the 33rd floor, whose going to chase them away ,
theres no  killer comforting fear,
it may last a long time .  this loneliness is calming you down itís making you drink

There isnít a lot to do. Water some plants feed some fish. Hang by the phone, for a call from a lover, that lover used to be you, there isnít a lot I must do.
I want to hear your voice, tinkling round like glass,
The voice that I once loved and knew, like my favourite record, is dusty and unplayable

What did I do wrong I canít do it rite,
Why donít you say with tears then kicked me out of my chair.
What  was wrong why are they are always right, what did I try wrong
I donít have any sense in me.

It may last a long time, but you sure ainít got it right
It may last a long time, and you sure ainít got it right
There is no deal I can make with you anymore
Iíll gesture at your picture facing the wall.

You donít recognise my life. You donít recognise my whole, you donít recognise my keys in the door,
You donít recognise this song, If you did you would
Know Takes a lot to be with this,
Takes a lot to be with me.

Do you watch me?
Do you see me
on the telly,
do you watch me
do you watch me
do you wait for me to fall.

From the the prison walls to the palace where youíre born.
Donít be that way now, donít be that way now.

It isnít easy to take when people make the assumption that youíre sad because you never were happy
Well I tell them
 I donít do it for them. I just do it for myself.
Dreams are broken, words of anger spoken,
Wonít you turn down that noise Iím trying to sleep.
I wonít be so sad I donít even need  a reason to get up,
If Iíd slept the night before, and the night before that.
I donít even need to see why you were. You were running through my thoughts every day

I had to say why, donít make the blame pass out,
the point to die out here, without you.
I RHP here.
And in the end, in the end, itís all my fault for leaving you this way, If I had a method,
And make no difference and If I put some point into my existence.

Why donít you bring some back we never tried so hard to give us all out for a break

A couple/
Partners
Nice Phase
Nice thing to have
He wouldn't really know, My old school friend
he can't go outside in the daylight,
he'd melt if he had to talk to a girl
he's  a drifter a chancer
never had romance
never gone beyond the ring road
never used a metaphor to describe experience
never had cause to feel lonely
he knows no other way
too quiet to talk
to repressed by his past
school days spent unrepetant
of times in the all male classes no dreams
of unrequited love
taking his fantasies out on the teachers
but they were older than his mum
He confesed this to me in his tired shattered
state, when he awoke,
 he lost so much fluid
he always gets like this at the weekend
and I'm the only one who his parents have the number of.

It was just a simple office affair, a time to be at one with someone
She was a rare find,  I wish I could have changed her mind, I wished that she wouldve noticed me,
So youíve tried the hardest you can try
Youíre a little boy in a little girls world
You never felt the same things as the men with tatoos
Youíre feeling sad for something you canít finger on,
You tried to be different you dressed from the left, you werenít bred for success.
You heard about the bad offences and leads to the folks back home
And neither do the folks back home,
Forgive me the wake up, bring in the pain, bred for success
Give me the wake, give me a break bred for success,
Gave the me wake up, give it away bred for success X2.

And neither do the back
You didnít wanna be back home  X2
You didnít wanna go home,

My airconditioneed office, I pray for you
I wish I know, I hate the radio, It makes me feel so low,
Please take me home,
Please take me home, X2

So back to the old country where the rain doth pour and it drizzles
It never rains and its bores say why the hell does it piss down.
Get excited with a chance to whine. Why the hell did you come back

Show me the way, forgive me the pain
Bred for success.

 What did I do wrong for you to look at me that way.
What did I do wrong for you to look away
Well I do things right sometimes And then Iíll do things
for us like the time I drove you out     to       the sea

what do you offer us, well you  love to see me soak,
what do you all for us  was it enough to see me walk, will you walk out of here were you off out of fear?

Your hair blowing in the wind, so shiny so delicate.
Sometimes I go too far
and then we fall out  We run around and run around  and run around this.

Some times I go out and then we fall out,
What it was you didnít know, what it was that made us so close,
 that pulled us apart, that pulled us apart. though apart . you gave up fighting

what do for us, well I love to see you smile
what do you offer us to see you walk out of here? What did you do , what did you know, get away,
what did you do for us, well I love to see you walk, will you walk out of here. will you walk out of fear.?

What did you nag me to do about. I tried to give you a hand, I tried to give up bad demands,
Sometimes we fall apart, and then we get down,
Fortress islands, getting heartless , getting harder  to live without you

What I did do so wrong, what did we do so right?
What did you like about the times, when we fell out and fighting yeah
get back together, get back here together, get right back together,
Iíd give up fighting sometimes,
(solo)
get  away x2
well I love to see you walk, well you love to see me smile, weíll get away X2
well do it all for us    was it enough to see me run?
Run out of fear, will it all come back?
It all comes back it. all comes back. back to you.

Walk out and and hang around, I saw youíre body lying down   couldnít wake your lips so blue,
I saw your legs crossed further away from me like a dirty kid so smug,
Then you saw away of getting some of your mothers smoked hash that shes busy passing round
You said the friends you had you spoke laughing hard into your mommas arms
Youíre going to a better place,  a place where youíll never be alone
a place where Iíll be teasing you, a place where Iíll thinking of you,
trying to be awake, where did you go, trying to figure me
you satisfied the sign of  fire,  you start a fire, burns.
Iíd strangle you if anybody touches you, I count while I hold you by the throat
I understand that youíre annoyed it goes over my head these gasps belong to you.
Youíre going to a better place , a place where youíll never be alone
a place where no one will tease you, a place where Iíll thinking of you,

Youíre going to a better place , a place where youíll never be alone
a place where no one will  tease you, oh when weíll say youíre big boned
youíll always be young.
Trying to be allright, soon youíll be gone,
What did we know, you satisfied the sign of fire,
Iíll always try to be OK. What did we know, you satisfied the sign of fire,
I wanted to try to figure you out, soon youíll be gone,
Soon youíll be ghosts

Waters all you need to defend against your insight thrash (splash) against my face dripping to the floor,
Girl you think Iím right, got your knapsack on your back you got it all stitched up. Thereís a lesson you should learn
Go take another friend to hang out in the menís room, wreck another toilet seat, one to put my head down. To yours
Do your worst to hear him say, you donít mean it anyway,
Lesson learnt  so let me go I promise not tell on you
Waters all you need to dissolve away the pain, of asprin in alcohol just thins my blood and makes my head drown If you think Iím lying?

You got your knapsack on your back youíre leaving it all behind.
Itís only filled with cheap beer,
A post mortems all you need to defend against that joke,  you said I was always up too late, someday we will give it up. If you think Iím liar.

Lay your head down on the pillow, you donít need him anyway,
Dream about the things you heard, as the rats keep the kitchen clean.

God no-one ever sees the lights go out.

Drinking myself to sea tonight leaving it all behind,
Counting myself to sleep tonight, look at the empty cans Iíve got
 Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing will only come of this,
Wait for the sun cracking the flags and my eyes burst from my head,

AT last chance to get easily quenched  (thought youíd get easier)
What about giving me another beer (thought youíd get easier up)
But I canít say Iíve had enough of it,
Always looking over my back, forget to write back, gouging my back, cheaper to go back I wonít ever go back.

Youíve got it all worked out, you said,
Do you think Iím a liar.
Got your knapsack on your back, you fill it up with
 cheap beer and heres  the life you led, well in a
long time go now youíve never been so right, youíve got no-one to say good bye,
 

Drinking myself to sea tonight leaving it all behind,
Counting myself to sleep tonight, look at the empty cans and say Iíve got
 Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Something will only come of this,
Setting suns and  flags outside and my eyes burst from my head,

Youíve got it all youíve got what you wanted, you got to haunt my dreams you get to stop my sleep,
You canít  pretend  It would be easy if Youíd never saw me white and pale, almost alive
 you didnít want to see me like this, I didnít want you to see me like this, Iím out in the rain when it
hits the sea I want to be all the horses , want to hear  screams on the salty mist , feel my heart beat again, feel my heart a heart.

Drinking myself to sea tonight getting it all behind,
Counting myself to sleep tonight, Iíve got 20 empty cans of this Iíve got
 Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing will only come of this,
Nothing will ever be the same again and my eyes burst from my head,

Getting myself to sleep,
Getting myself to sleep tonight,
Nothing no no no,
Youíve got no-one to see you again.

Lyrics 2

Where was I what did I say,
Who made all those harsh words go away,
What was I thinking just a moment ago
Nothing but fear of the bastard unknown
Where I go I know not where
I can no longer masturbate through my underwear
I no longer shuffle naked in my dreams
I wake up to suffer and with a smaller whimper
Stiff as a board and twice as bored
I lie awake listening to the beating of sparrow's
wings  that flap around my window,
farewell to the painters and stagger home.

Friend in america,

Laughing at me
Why are you looking at me
Haven't we said all that there is to say all in vain
shared a shower of shame
Fall out of bed, and you fell on my head
Theres No reason for empty tears to empty on my face
Didn't all I say justify the means,
Made you want to leave, you need to be free
All I said and I didn't know
Forget how to live
Didn't you need me
Suffocated on my worries just ashamed of waiting
The future would have never happened anyway
Just standing in a supermarket
Looking around made me feel so helpless
Finding myself you said it so many times
Where as the pressure from time alone made me more desperate to speak
Just to see you oncce would be
You started work at the theatre
As a clown not much to write to me about
Go back to work  to send me an open ticket
Gifts you stole to buy me with.
Forced to go by the back door
Were you embarrased that I wore specs.
Lists of things to say Never hurt you once
Not that I meant to,
Walking in the drizzle it seemed more exciting at night to follow the blokes home
Nothing much in this crafty city wanting
All that I do and what I destroyed,
Patiently I stand my the phone too nervous to sit, your long distance calls
Don't let me down
Thoughts of leaving home, their home, the one with the master at home.
Round shouldered by the age of 15 you weren't so
Full of yourself make the most
Of being so young, I ripped away your smile.

Proper
There's somebody for there's someone for everyone
Please don't let me hang, push me,  don't count on me wanting you
Just to Treat them mean, doesn't mean, you'll keep them always so keen
Company from the telly. Glowing fills in the daydreams
Hopeless gaptoothed smiling at my pretty reflection.

A
     And you party into the dawn dancing with a picture of me held to your
     breasts, everything you touch is wet with blood, from the animals you
     slaughter to hurt me

  So I guess you'll get the message.
     Anyway yeah I'm glad you went to see those people again.
     I thought they were pretty good.
     Although a bit too commercial it still was enjoyable.
     And Fun.
     And Laughing wasn't easy. Still Nearly time to go.
     had a nightmare morning today, took my bike apart last night to put it
     in my car,
     put it together this morning and the sprocket on the back wheel fell
     apart, and the ball bearings went all over the car.
     Still had to find as many as I could and rebuild the bearings and
     wheel,
     Then It was really heavily pissing it down. So I go soaked.

     Times here are OK. Not so bad not so good,
     Would have been happy for anyone to send me an I love you virus.
     Just for the attention, but I have my children to take care of now,
     you know the little shiny round plastic ones that take up my space and
     my air.
     ANd then there were none,
     Ok. Come along for the ride make the most of the journey we can do
     some mescaline
     Up and away
     Wink

song_lyrics_1

SO You've tried the hardest you can try,
You're a little boy in a little girl's world,
you never felt the same things as the lads with tatoos
you're feeling sad for something  you can't put your finger on.

WHy did you come back
 you try to be different,
you dress for the left
you weren't bred for sucess
you don't know anyone famous
and neither do the folks back home

 bred for sucess
It only gets easier to forget and accept
to be bred for sucess
if only.

So back to the old country
where the rain it glistens on the cobbles
but it never rains it pours its just drizzle
where the old and desperate play monopoly in hovels
and try to pass the money in change for escape
 

------------------------
She is scared by the sorry thoughts in her little boys head
He didn't mean to say those hurtful things he said
the words of the teenager so uninformed and spiteful
He's leaving the house tonight to get a hand hold on a skinfull

And so they stay awake to hear the key in the lock
the stumble against the stairs and the rumbling in the basin
They worry too much he thinks as he puts away the condoms
theres always another night and maybe an easier lay tommorrow

In the morning he's sad its so much easier for girls,
they have macke up and slapstick to cover up the acne
but a few magazines won't drown out the aching
Another day wasted, another day waiting

-----------------------------------------

Just a drunken fumble took their lives in new direction
Unknown bedfellows enjoying the the evening,
seeing the morning come through in the piercing blue sky
No regrets, well just another but we can try to forget.

The fear
The anaesthetic, breathe she said breathe deeper, and let yourself go
if it happens it happens, it happens
and when it happens then you know it will happen

but lying there in beads I can turn to her and shiver it won't happen while I'm in control.

----------------------------------------------

Sneaking into your room just to watch you sleep,
you didn't let on that you hated my life
when you did all the talking and I did all the watching
If I thought I Liked just being with her, It was
only the sharp tongue that did the lashingI

Mumbled decisions, and drunken misfortune at the time
I could have given up at any time but now
I need that syrup to go on to make me happy, without
it all my wishings, stayed locked away inside.

------------------------------------------------------

So the girl in the next room in these hallowed halls is crying
I can't remember  the last time she ever stopped I don't want
to leave her but I've things to do,
AS longs as I know she's still crying .
When the Crying stops

Detune the radio to cut out the noise.
of the party in the next room, they
seem to be laughing, If I wasn't struck dumb when
my father used to hit me then I'd be jusk OK now, with no fear

She Came to me once with the evidence up her arms
I don't want to deal with these things anymore
but I can't let her be alone

I know no-one did the same for me,
but so what, there's worse things to be
than on the ward.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's just the little things that keep you sane
When she squeezed my hand when I took her to school,
I knew that my bed would not be so empty tonight
a trip to the chemist, there'll be blood on the sheets tonight

Every day that passes we seem to be closer
her father has sworn and  called her a whore
but the thoughts of empty regret don't last
becasue when you feel the need

Is it not a crime is our love a crime,
is she too young too feel pleasure
Am I too old to supply her protection
she doesn't go with just any man
I look after all my girls,
I give her all the incentive she needs

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And on and on I want to go for ever
I'm going out tonight to live and forget
When I get into town on the 645
I want to meet up with the pop kids
and join in maybe even meet someone like me
thats the big idea, the big plan,
jsut got to make more sense,
Such a classy gil she won't take the same old cahat, best not to prepare but
to introduce yourself, Make up a decent job
Hello I'm a musician, Oh how interesting, I save peoples lives she says
So do I say,
So what do I say
not realising
 the slash yer wrist fodder that I spew forth
ends up spinning up gloomy weekends for the lonely hearted suburban kids,

-----------------------------
A real Man doesn't cry
A real man doesn't talk about sex with other men
A real man can eat well, without guilt
A real man is everything to me

A proper Lady wears the most expensive frocks
A proper Lady only drinks halves
A proper Lady can talk for hours
A proper lady Is everything hateable

 a chick in the post -Mod sense
Just fo once let her be stupid and fun
I'm not ashamed not to be real Man
and she doesn't have to be a proper Lady

Just end up being so Adrogenous
Just end up happy

-----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------

So whats it all about
Try to write me a massive tune
so what's it all for
Coming out from a bedsit studio
to the dance floors and the robot lighting
the laser blindness and the frenzied trips to the 80's
funny how it all comes back round again

So what's it all about
TRy to rock and roll in the garage
So why bother at all
Coming out from the cellars the dull thud of an old drumkit
and the scream of a russian guitar.
We beg and borow steal and thieve then
get a fresh feel with our expensive samplers
It makes sense to me.
no really.
no reality
sheay stadium all in our heads
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There a rumble in the distance the circus is here
it's time to get knee deep in Mud,
more of the experience of living wild
but we try to forget we're all different
and try to be the same,
but hey isn't that fashion
No sixth form poetry at the main stage
just the same old fodder for grazing
whilst in the unlistenable areas we have the new and the slick
but if it wasn't for the indie kids
what would we have,

Do we have music coming up
Don't you see the connection to the past to the future
hey stop it and go for a dance

but if it wasn't for finding the music what would we have?
If it wasn't for the burden of the radio what would we have
If it wasn't  for the tune what would we have.
Lets pretend its not about the feeling from the music.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

He never read a book that he really enjoyed
I never watched television for less than the rest of my life
I foolishly expected more than company from a ride on the tube
I work hard , almost earn enough to almost get high

Come the weekend I'll be hungry for company
but there'll be none
SO why try when you look like me
says my friend so it's either desperation mingling
at the usual clubs haunts
or the alternative is not even worth thinkning about.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Mp3 Will save our lives and will change the world
So I don't listen to the bits inbetween and I can decide
even though I want to feel the same and feel connected
 through Work

MP3 will cut out the cap, stop the eleton john solo masterworks
the stuff we can do without,
even The Dirty N word,

we're taking it out on some people we look down on,
they can still buy our music withou risking a trip to the shops
Hey what the hell let them have it for free
just don't forget about Me.
Please buy me
I need to suvive from my art because I am too artless to get a good job
Oh how cruel, How far up my own arse
I am a donkey, but so what
I was never any good at sport
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lap Dancing For England

Flowers turn up, and you had to be arrested you came to see me every night
you sat in the front row and I noticed when you weren't there Like all good men
you threw your money at me
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever felt bad about lying through your teeth
About a girl you said you like but just lent upon
A Prop to keep your nights from being so cold
and dark
A fool to love you while you think of your
photographs

Download your pleasure
Tenfold your anticipation
of the next click will bring floods of tears
to her eyes
if she saw you now, in the wee hours of the night

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Song for Michael And Me

Socialise, this social life
Just to busy to make new friends
too much work to hang on to old friends

Under Par, Severely under Par
This song is not for comfort
Just the incentive, I don't want to
look down on your quiet evenings
no celebration of misery ,
really this life should be full
but you can't really do anything on your own
no-one can, best just leave it here
and stay and dream of Eastenders

In the night you might lay in bed the walls seem to be getting closer
 you shouldn't be getting
good night sleeps,
But you need your rest it'll be all for the best
Just another "Wait and see" and you'll be 23
same old themes
it's still a mean old scene,
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When was the last night you can remember
When was the last all original good time
was it you don't you feel your ears burning
When you woke up with that guy you met did you feel no regret
wasn't it fun to sit out in the sun,
did the music play loud did you feel the throbbing move up to your head
Those morning after dues had to be paid, would you ever meet up
Could you ever respect ,
did he take a picture to add to his collection, did he even know your name at the time,
my guess is as good as yours I guess no.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

GobStopper

A trip to the video shop was always the routine.
She said she wanted routine, and to be imortalised in a song
Naming no names she was a pretty sick pretty thing
not that you'd know until she'd had a few

-------------------------------------------------------------

Not what they thought they should have been,
they left the fins behind and went on their journey
when Alan started to look out at the public with fear
he knew he couldn't do the same all over again.

Another howling dustbowl, on the road out to swindon
this is where the alienation began,
they never made it back to London
I just documented this for the record

------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple/
Partners
Nice Phase
Nice thing to have
He wouldn't really know, My old school friend
he can't go outside in the daylight,
he'd melt if he had to talk to a girl
he's  a drifter a chancer
never had romance
never gone beyond the ring road
never used a metaphor to describe experience
never had cause to feel lonely
he knows no other way
too quiet to talk
to repressed by his past
school days spent unrepetant
of times in the all male classes no dreams
of unrequited love
taking his fantasies out on the teachers
but they were older than his mum
He confesed this to me in his tired shattered
state, when he awoke,
 he lost so much fluid
he always gets like this at the weekend
and I'm the only one who his parents have the number of.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

PlayList _ PlayPark

Speaking of Which
There's nothing to do but hang round
Talk faster with cider breath
too young to get fucked in a pub full of old men
Haven't you forgotten the good old days

When were Younger .
(complete from when we were young, lyrics, more up beat less plodding more chocolat eclair than chelsea bun)

--------------------------------------------

oh what a glorious day what a beautiful morning that I have slept through
----------------------------------------------------
retorbeats
You came round to these sounds you heard,
It was the last word in electronic feeling
Your mouth moved to the sounds words not speaking
Volumes or in tongues to you,
Can't do nothing but lie frozen and stuck

Em

Stare up at the fan spinning round and around
In this hospital room far from home,
 

 A journey out to the beach, and accdiednt
It was lucky I met you
And you stopped and helped me
>ÖÖ

Em
 a history in the place for hundreds and thousands of years
dignity and space and a sun to call their own
a home from home for us.
 
 

Because of these incidents and accidents that come over it's the drink I blame not myself.
It helped me to meet that beautiful blonde,
Her hair was so long her legs were too,
And I never could say very much, tongue tripping on the floor,
I held out my lighter I offered her a tatoo
Anything would do take my number please
 

BK and now its come to this you waiting under the buzzing lights.
My angel who understands,

There is a chance some chance a fat chance but now this moment in this room,
I'll be OK in a minute don't take it personally
I always get like this at the weekend

It's the best sound of garage speed garage Uk garage tuff jam tough break kid.

Only in london,
 

You dipped a finger into hot water
You caught a cold from solvency
You wanted a place to call your home,
You wanted to move in with her
 

I'm just a casual observer,
Caught between the eyelamps of a rabid rabbit.
No longer feeling so hyped up I bet

Don't get so confused,
Let your head rule you hands
She is a evil bitch take it from me.
 
 

D -

Hip-Hop-Breaks,   she confessed a deep understanding,
Men-beer-sport,

That was a weapon pushed against my wrist.

Mother- call of the dogs,,

There's a time when I make my own mistakes,
Regrets maybe just a few, but not too many
Of my own intention
And if I have to learn I'll learn and earn the hard way..

Agony aunts on the phone,
 people you almost know,
Offer advice all the time.,

In the street even chpping in,

It's the best thing you can do is moving in,
I don't see it that way I'm your friend

C#maj7 bit
Where does that leave me,
Out in the cold
Where do we stand, put feet where we're told.
 

A place in queues is all it amounts to,
Dole queue or marriage queue,
Have to queue for money, queue for it to be taken,
And why so that I can say,

Here is your lovely wife
 

F-C to bit.
Now it's time to roll over and give in,
You've built your life apart from your friends,
People grow up in and out of love, and theres always,
Times when we remember sitting under the bus shelter,
Sharing our last bag of chips, always questioning
Why it has to be so, and look at us now,
You with your home, your car your wife,
Children on the way,
Am I jealous, well sometimes when it gets dark and cold,
But the telly is always there to remind me that my time will come,
Hand in hand
 
 

Adrift on the tide floating away from mankind,
I never met any one as kind as her,
In time there will be no longer oceans pulling us part,

In the long term we'll alwys be close with wine,
And windows open looking out over a  cloudy sky,
When the rain comes over here it comes every day,
And where you are there are times when you wish that it really would pour,

My soul is cracked with my love of old bands that we used to enjoy and then there was a minute of reflection and we turned it over,
And it played again . Sounds of our childhood, rocking to the electric guitar, squeaked and swaking,
The angst of grunge the glimmer of the thomson twins,
Where did it all go that fragrent youth,
And we never did hear much about the future

Chorus,,

All I play now are torture instruments a bit like polvo
Then the straight edge what am I supposed to do with these weapons

And hands go down to my sides and form fists, but
No it's another day spent in the dark and the damp, looking yes I'm always looking
I bet you are too.
Not really seen much of the news I remember husker du, and

There words they had weight, much more than I can confess,
Or compete with a rule or two of disguised abandon..

Bob Mould has gone away and been replaced with uncle sam
I used to pretend I wanted to be bald, gay and fat.

BK..
No vocals
.

descend into the riffing bit

then back in to the G -

Can't spend everyday raking the past for fragments.
Couldn't waste my days drifting through sentiments
And nothing could last longer than the summer,
And nothing would come quicker than school and the autumn

The snow falls and then calls become infrequent, and by the time
It's all melted. So have the chocloates I saved from the hotels.

And leaves go greener than your absinthe,
And no I will never drink it,
Not because It's yours and somehow I'd be drinking your ghost, but
It just takes disguisting, maybe I'd better get used to it,
Your bleach here mocks me when the sun catches the surface,
And the green dragons chase the shadows of the cranes across the wall.
And then I know that I'm never truly alone,
You'll always be there in some tiny way, like a filling or a birthmark.
A scar for life for the rest of mine, but I know this aint going to control what is going to happen.

End A-B-D bit

Some might have it in for me but only in the end,
Like it or not the control is all in many hands,

lyrics5 heads down
Heads down shuffle the street
I like rubbing the new me,
Delight with the juries sympathy
Judging jentry early

I forget my (listed) crimes
I can't pay the price
I watched them pull up in front of this store (/house)

They mark em where they're watching
Whose laughing now
Trigger pulls trigger pulled and I braced the door

Twisted honour drifting
Body falls to the ground
Kiss me from the darkening sea,
Something.

Something hides whats there, something live (rhymes hive)

So quiet I want to take this gun into my heart
You're Crazy but its good you came back to a seige
No pain, no reason theres no escape at all
I will find fame pressed between pages of the law _____ Weighed down

Often could let my hands in the blue,

And the daughter darker must come,   (  you could never see the mystetious)
Then hold her with me inside,
I could never see through disguise,   (A hero officer in disguise)

Is something I'll never have, theres something I'll never have
Something, suffering,
Something I'll never be,
In love (at least I have some sympathy)

(Keep from here)

Here lies under the farm,
What do you say what do you say what does it
Matter for a while something,
My mercy my mercy my mercy

What does it matter for a while,
Bad anasee Bad anasee Bad ohh

Give me a break from this
Take everything for granted put up my
hands (trickling with deceit) and I walk into the day
cleansing off their rifle,
I see myself reflected in their shades
I look so ashamed,
It ain't my fault I'm just trying to do
Anything that's cold that's what I try not to do,
 

(Change words,)
you saw yourself
reflected in their shades,
rifles held at aim, whispered
take him,

The hardest thing
You'll ever to do,
Just take my life
Just take it
This hardest thing
You'll ever do
Just take
(Keep)
I need to see between the lines (of fire)
Need to feel their icey hand on my back

On my back on my
On my back and on my,

You know how to take this
From all this horror take you
And my bodies twitching,

It's good to be back
In the land of living
I wish I could be forgiven
I wish theres something there.

Just leave me scattered ashes to the wind,

Is what you couldn't have,

throw me down,
is full of pins

won't you take my life
won't you take it,
 
 
 
 
 

Chasing ambulances down the road,
Checking out your chances
Waiting for a breath to fall
Its not as easy job,
 
 

Wasted a cheap life
No hope behind my blinds
Louder the noise the less I need to know
Try to escape no tunnels out here no lucky scrapes just one day fakes into the next,
And I don't want to grow up like you and I ain't going to stay here forever,
Please tell me I'm just passing through.
You wait for me at home sometimes,
If there's nothing on the TV you might even make me less hungry
Give me a little something to raise the edges of my downward spiral
Just a little throat and home comforts
All the comforts of a home,
A home where I don't belong,
A flat under a whore and neighbours who pound the floor,
And beat their retreats into the alleys
Their smoking answers the defeat,
And conquest is only a let down I suspect,
I hear the heat And I feel the sounds the way it is when its dark and your trying to sleep
And hours awake made me crave sanity and I drive out to the airport
To the toilet of london I find my way over to the grass at the weekends and I lie around in a park and no one needs no me and that's the answer to my weekly silence and
Don't let the bastards grind you down, well at the millstone I bleed and for a roof over my head
And an empty bed, I get on my knees on this sunny day, you are here alone in the park
I'm not a rapist I wish I had a second of your smile that was meant for me, I only wanted to sleep with you but never have sex just someone to hold in the dark to comfort the silence still
And the trains pass in the night give ideas of travel and leaving this shithole
And we passed like cripples in a hospital having as much to share as junkies in a school room,
 
 
 
 

Friendship closes doors,
 
 
 
 

SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN
 

 F

 [ A  E  F#  D  E ] x2

 D
 

 A                    E
 I wish I was someone else
     D                      F                  G
 I'm confused, I'm afraid, I hate the loneliness
 A                    E
 And there's nowhere to run to
 D                       F                         G
 Nothing makes any sense, but I still try my hardest
 

    F          G
    Take my hand Please help me man
          A           E     F#         D        E
    'Cause I'm looking for something to believe in
       A                      E
    And I don't know where to start
          F#         D        E              D
    And I don't know where to begin, to begin
 

 If I was stupid or naive
 Trying to achieve what they all call contentness
 If people weren't such dicks and I never made mistakes
 Then I could find forgiveness

    Take my hand Please help me man
    'Cause I'm looking for something to believe in
    And I don't know where to start
    And I don't know where to begin, oh no
 

 [ F#  D  E ] x4
 

 A                      E
 I can't be someone else I don't feel that it's hopeless
 F            G
 I don't feel that I'm useless
 

 A                    E                F#         D       E
 I can't throw it all away I need some courage to find my weakness
 And with your love, I know with all my heart I can win
 'Cause I'm looking for something to believe in
 And I just need something to believe in
 I'm looking for something to believe in
 And I just need something to believe in
 

 [ till the end ]

Cocky mocker

I made everything clear with her before she left,
 We would see how we felt whilst she was away,
A chance to develop our confidence while we were apart.
I can't say that I feel nothing, If I did then I couldn't
bear to live with myself, I mean what sort of man would I be by not missing her, Well I do thats all, and Ive said the things I missed.
I guess you don't realise what you have till its gone, but I could move on it's just that moving on as I am trying to makes me feel sad.
 I don't know how to describe my feelings,
 I'm so used to repressing them and not having anyone to listen to how I feel.
Or being mocked for not been a man.

When you have nothing itsí time to move on.
Why did you ask me to help you
Lie down and forget the future.
The pollen came right off in your hands,
From that flower that I found that was pressed when you were 10
Donít you remember what a sweet girl you were
I donít because I was never the right kind of father to you,
Your mother never let me see you,

She said you never needed to know me.
You didnít know how much that hurt.
But just for a while.

Now you bothered to find me, and for that at least Iím grateful
Why blame me when I can blame myself.
I didnít do anything and thatís the point.

Kind of like splitting.
 

Prohibition

Looking out in the dark street I saw the shape and form,
Of the shadows cast by the empty cars, and
I closed the door because I didnít feel that hungry
And It was probably going to rain anyway.

So another day spent and so I havenít lived yet.
So the next year will probably be packed with anecdotes
And gritty realism that I craved at 19,
I didnít grow up I just got older.

So where does the inspiration come from
If I was loved then maybe it would be enough
If I was worth ten of her, One day Iíll quit my
whoring job, what with computers ruling the world
Should be grateful, but you gave me hope,

Evenings spent in wishing we were out ( )
You with your canvases, me with my empty head
And ecstasy.
And the Friday night was the highlight, Saturday was a drop zone
But things made sense, and got boring after a while, a lot made scenes
From  Fellini
Truth is we all spoke In tongues, and me with my temper.
Things are going to get worse before they wind up better,
When I look in your eyes I ignore the tears and I recite of myself,

Eating away at your conscience, The ideas arenít flowing the pressure
And lobotomy of the monotony scoffs.

Time to the attack the plans, to quit
To start our new life
Remember the future, worked out fine.
Get away and build your new life.
Out of this room, out of this country
And go live by the sea, kicking sand on the beach before breakfast
Part-time waiter and the rest would be painting. No family in the way,
Friends who we only went drinking with.
 

But we stayed here for the time being.
 
 
 

Sun is shining, birds are singing, oh, how greatful i feel being part of this world!

it's Sunday night, i just came back from a long day out.
It was Myrto's birthday today, so she suggested we went to the sea. So we did, with some friends of hers,
some of them swam (i had my period) and then had dinner at this taverna on the beach, it was literally on the
beach, tables and chairs on the sand, it was very nice, stayed until sunset, when the sky was red and
everything, had beers and wine, but it took us quite a long to drive back (like coming back from Brighton...)
as so did the rest of the poor Athenians at the end of the weekend. Then we went to a gig in this place i go
regularly, very cute and cosy, it's called Xartes (=maps)
Too many questions...
I was listening to the BBC the other day, they were saying about this place in west Scotland where there are
hundreds of seals wondering about, and this guy who goes all the way to the beach every day, an hour away
from where he lives, just to seat there and play his violin for them... (!)

As for you, i understand exactly how things are; there is nothing wrong with feeling despair or
disappointment sometimes, things are far form easy, just start considering other options too, see what there
is in the job market, i am sure there must be something more fulfiling for you. It might take time to find
it, but all experience gained in the meantime can be useful at some point. Take one thing at a time. Just try
for the flat now, i think that's the most important, and at the same time you can always have your eyes and
ears open for everything else. And don't expect to find a flat in a day (like you did with Swiss Cottage). Be
patient and courageous! I was thinking a lot about London today. It would give me such a big pleasure to just walk around town again,
cross my favourite bridge that goes to NFT, take a bus and go South, see a gig at the Garage, watch the black
swan swimming about in the lake in Regent's Park... Or sit in a wooden Pier somewhere, anywhere... with you.
What about you? Will you find some time to write me tonight?

The film was located in Cuba, but towards the end there
were some scenes of L.A. And you could see this huge difference so clearly, this contrast between real life,
real people, passion, authenticity, beauty even in the most small, seemingly unimportant or neglected things,
and this big empty balloon that Los Angeles or any other so-called develloped, influencial and powerfull
place represent. On the one hand you had life, colours, emotions, people smiling even when everything was
against them, and on the other hand a vain cyrcle, a world of lost, deformed or shattered dreams. I feel this
tenderness for Greece, i aknowledge the problems, but i can see that underneath, this place and these people
have something special, something so precious and hard to find. Still i know i need to travel a bit more, try
myself in different contexts, i think it's not impossible to be in two places at a time.

So probably calling you was stupid of me. Or rather the intentions of my call failed. So what was i trying to
do? Consolate you for breaking up with a girl that you claimed you never loved or felt really close to, a
girl you practically wanted to leave anyway, and at first somehow used in order to overcome me (what an
irony!)or have someone around? And you say you might just go out in search of a temporary replacement now...
So, how in the world did i think i could be of any use right now, when i still think of you in the same
carrying and loving way i did, while you, on the other hand, go on with your emotional life? Oh, how can i be
so stupid? Such a FUCKING IDIOT! It's all MY problem, i know. So why do i write that now? Just need to, need
to humiliate my self, reach the bottom, probably regret it straight away.
I sent you that letter yesterday, it was written almost a month ago, but i would write exactly the same
things now. Probably a bad time for you to read it. Or just of no interest at all. Probably of no interest...
I feel sad and i feel angry at myself now. I should have resisted the temptation of writing to you now. But i
just need to let out my silly, my pathetic, my weak, my vulnerable side. Yeah, i am weak and i am bloody
sensitive, I bloody am!
What am i punishing my self for, now? I have no idea. Or i already wrote some absurd explanation in that
letter. I think it's because i feel insufficient to help you in this situation. And i wish i could, oh, i
wish i did.
Writing fucking bulshit now. Won't blame the wine for it. Blame my fucking head. By the way, if that's any
consolation to you, you have no idea how lonely i am! How fucking lonely i 've been for 5 whole months
(except from one beautiful week)! It's not just about getting laid, that rarely crossed my mind anyway, it's
about support and care and affection and a hug in my sleepless nights. I don't believe in anything anymore. I
didn't wanna compromise for anything i wouldn't die for! Ha! And what good did i see? What a bloody fool i
am. In what fucking dreamworld do i live, Christ!
FAILURE.....................................................
I am sorry for writing all this shit, i just needed to be honnest and open my heart to you. I just needed
that. It has nothing to do with you. Just see it as a confession that you don't need to answer to.
I want you to be well and try to see the good side of things. Try to make the best of what you've got right
now. Do you think it's ironic to say that after all that i've written? It's not, because it comes from
someone that truly loves you and cares so much about you.
Does that mean anything?
I think i wrote enough already..

I got your letter today and sent you my own. I understand these things, I felt similar things, even now I
   question myself and what am I doing in bed with this woman who I feel nothing for, but I know that she
   loves me so that's better. What am I saying, what can I write that will comfort you, not very much other
   than I think of you all the time, wondering if there ever will be a time when we meet again, or sleep in
   the same bed or share the same glass of wine.

and thank god this girl sent from
heaven saved you! And it also means that the question is not that much who you are with, but to just be with
someone, anyone! So it's not really who you get love from, as long as you get some?...
Anyway, i am not in a good mood now, so i might write things that i shouldn't...
About Luxemburg, well, after a lot of thinking and after talking with a couple of friends there, i finally
declined the offer. They offered 1000 pounds and i had to sign a contract for two years. I don't know if i
took the right decision. I mean i know i did, but right now i feel so much the need to get away from
everything (including myself) that i 'd try just anything... Anyway, that's over now. I just completed
another application for Brussels, but it will take some time before i know the results...
As you probably have guessed, i feel quite shit today, lousy mood and everything, so put up with me, will
you? It's true that i don't take care of myself at all lately. Don't go to sleep before 7 in the morning,
because i need to be really exhausted before i face my empty bed, eat shity food, make desperate thoughts...
Hardly care about anything at all. Don't care to be approved, don't care to be liked. What's the point,
anyway? There are always girls more available than me around... Hahah! Which reminds me: i was in that bar on
Friday, and that guy came on to me; he was american of greek origin, kind of posh, smartly dressed and
everything, he said he lived in London permenantly, and guess where: in Abbey Road! Oh, he was a real
bargain! But not for me.
Oh, i've got a new CD, it's Sofa (Constellation Rds), Giannis gave it to me for my nameday (which was on
Friday, by the way). I' ve been reminded a lot about London these days: on Saturday Ayman and Mata (remember
them? My neighbours in Taviton street, the friends of Dionysis) took us out to dinner (me and a few other
people), they came for a couple of days and it was really nice to see them. They said they expected me back
and everything...
What else: i am supposed to be doing some samples for this Institute that called me last week, i can't really
concentrate and it's from greek to english, which makes it quite difficult. Fed up, i suppose.
I just got a phonecall from a museum/gallery, they were having their catalogue translated for their
forthcoming exhibition, but the translator died unexpectedly! So, Mata who knew them, recommended me for the
job and they now want to have the whole thing finished by Saturday! Which is not enough time for anything
really! I might collaborate with some english guy, a translator, but still the deadline is rather
intimidating... We'll see.
Oh, well! A spinster with a career!

Well, i guess i shouldn't have called this last time, or rather not call you when i am so tired and suffer
from pre-menstrual depression...
But then again i want to hear you as much as you do.

So, what obsession were you talking about? Obsessed with dreams? Obsessed with you? Obsessed with sex? It
would obviously be quite ridiculous to mean the latter, especially if we consider when was the last time for
me and when it was for you... You know i am not a shy little girl that was never touched or loved before, and
i definately wouldn't just take anything from you or anybody else just to make you like me or put up wih me,
or for fear that i will be alone. My feelings, my pain and the way i responded all this time were the result
of pure and honnest love, affection and trust. Of course there is no such thing as that trust in my life
anymore, it seems it will be a long time before i will trust my soul to a new person ever again.
Anyway. No more of that now.
So, you said i don't write much about what i am doing and how my life is, well, i try to write most things,
but sometimes i am afraid that if i get in the details it might be boring for you. Or, at other times, there
is nothing really happening, nothing that can be described and not sound like a repetition. You can ask me
just anything you'd like to know; you know i wouldn't lie or hide anything as i don't lie or hide anything
now.
About the accomodation thing, i guess i said some stupid things. I'll come anyway, and if you think that
staying together wouldn't work, i can always stay somewhere else, i still have a few friends in London.
Thanks for the offer, i really appreciate, really!
Will you lend me your bike, too?
Joe called me earlier, he also sent me an e-mail saying that the translation i did for his company was of
really high quality and everybody was quite impressed. I was really glad to hear that, because i thought that
my work was a piece of shit. I don't know how much i'll be paid yet.
The truth is that i work hard, but the only money i got so far is the advance payment for the tr-AID project.
I will get paid for the rest,too, of course, but in time...
The Sarah Kane director called me yesterday, i guess he wants us to meet, i hope not before next week.
So i am not that ungreatful about all this working thing, it seems that almost none of the applications i
sent or interviews i went to was that unsuccesful so far, so yeah, i am glad and i feel i am worth something.
I am just saying that doing some interesting job cannot fight emotional loneliness or heal any hurt feelings
or mend a broken heart... But then again if i hadn't started working hard and still stayed in Giannis place,
in that semi-deranged condition of 2 months ago, striving to understand why you changed, i would probably be
in some mental hospital by now....
Like Joe says: "To be disappointed is a great thing. The opposite state of being belongs to the uninspired."
Anyway, feel really tired now, even more than before.
I hope you are feeling better with your cold and everything
Don't misunderstand my honnesty!

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I am not sure what to make of the last two e-mails. The first one made me really furious, but i don't know if
it's the right time to explain why, since you have such an important thing to worry about. I hope that there
is really nothing wrong with your mum, yeah, i remember that smear test she had when i was still there. Maybe
now it's your opportunity to support her and show her that you care; i say that, because you often complained
about you two not being so close any more and everything. Keep in mind that i share your concern!
As for the first e-mail, i 'll tell you what i thought, and you can always save it and read it whenever you
feel like it.
 

So, what do we have here, an auction? A contest where we have to prove the amount of our love for you? Ok,
300% of love, do i hear more? 300 + 1, 300 +2, 300 +3, that's it, our handsome young man is sold to the young
lady! What's this shit about counting love as if it's beans: i have three beans, you have two beans, so i
win! "She loves me more, because i treat her like shit and she doesn't leave me". Is that what love is all
about? Who can take more suffering and humilliation? Who tells you everything you want to hear, flatters you
and never says no? So, if in some occassion i told you a less convenient truth, only because i thought this
would be for your own good, only out of care, does that make me a bitch? Is submission what love is all
about? And i think this word, love, is really abused lately, we talk so much about it all in the wrong
context that it's become disgusting! And in case you want my opinion, i don't think she can possibly love
you, -at least IN THE WAY I CONCEIVE love-, because she doesn't even know you. But she can be in love with
you, and that she certainly is!! And she can be a thousand other things that i don't know, she can have a
thousand other reasons for making the choices she did. You said you wanted to ask her about my coming
round!!! "Come but don't tell anyone"!!! So, what am i, am i some sort of outcast, some sort of shame, a
piece of shit that you want to hide from your friends? So you want to have it all: see me, but at the same
time don't put your precious relation to any risk! The only thing that makes some sense is your parents'
concern.
This whole thing really hurt me, you know; it reminded me of that unforgettable line you said on the bus one
day before you left from Greece: we 've been sleeping together for the whole week, and what did you say one
day before you left: "What the fuck will i tell Zoe!". Jesus, how bloody insulting that was!!! And how much
it hurt me!
So, anyway, maybe we shouldn't discuss that any further, just forget the whole thing!
Maybe i shouldn't write any of that, and of course you are free to make all the choices you want for your
life. But i don't want to be used and i don't want to be hurt any more!
I am being quite honnest once more, i wrote you exactly how i feel right now. My feelings for you haven't
changed; and that's exactly why all this thing has such an impact on me. But i too have a heart, you know,
and i get hurt. And i am afraid i am not that stupid or indifferent to just ignore this kind of things.

The only picture i had about your relation is the one you were describing to me all this time: feeling
lonely, not being able to communicate, not bothering to give anything back. So, now everything seems to be
almost ideal, and you even need to be open and honnest and everything, well, i am very happy for you!
I don't think you understood what i said, but it's ok, i feel very tired and i am actually fucking crying
again now after almost two months... So, I don't have anything else to add to what i've already written. I am
sure you made all the right choices.
See you later.

this is being a really difficult week... I stayed up most of the night again in order to finish this museum
thing, God what a pressure, now i have to go over there to take some supplementary pages that i had
completely forgotten about. But tomorrow will be the last day of it! (i hope). So much pressure! For what? I
wonder what's all this craving for creation and new spiritual lands all about. A desperate effort to get over
this inherent sadness, all the unanswered question and absurdity, to find some sort of meaning, feeling you
are alive, feeling you are somehow present in your self. That's our way of fighting death, a friend says.
Makes sense. That's how it'll always be, right? Trying for something more, trying for something better, that
might some day get you closer to the real thing. Which, i suspect, does not have the form of a job, any
job...
 

appokracy
Thatís it 4 milestones, he said itís a no go, your card is coming from a distance
 I just saw the letters and read the postcards from holidays, Iíll never have.
 Ill see you, Iíll see expenses and Itís so heavy I wish I could float,
Pick myself  my dust my self. pick myself up, dust my self down
I work with passion, I want to be helped.
Can we stay in once 2 many times
Looking forward to the simpsons I could have laughed a lot and then what, and you sit with the silence
He had young hands turning on to pick,
 on you never believe how good you were

Iíll take her phases and trade them off.
I  just wanted to keep you at your bay
And I donít want you much now, I Ďd leave it behind.
Full of ideas and wrecked cars.
Home looking for your own olympics

On your own, I see your face when I close my eyes
You said that I didnít  want to be alone
And you mentioned that all you had was never enough
My hands at your throat again some things never change
Why did you lean towards me when I whisper your name,
I only do it out of spite and I could die from the shame,
Stick and stones may break your bones
Your mum will never hurt us.

Slaps from all sides, your ears go red.
I guess you hear more thinking and talking about
The time of our lives, the worst
 Ones, What we must never do stories.

 itís a wonder in this passion, Id find so funny memories
and youíd say the heat has gone out.

You said you were tired of your life.

In your confessional, I danced to the aphex twin.
ďKnock it inĒ she said, listen, its in the instant letter.
For, you swap your hearts from the earth
His music was bigger than us and this isnít a real event.

This is all in a discotheque, and itís the same nite as last weeks, the material is making me dirty.
And my email is no longer funny , (if it ever was ,)

ď(Whispered nonsense)
all I said and what ever I did itís just a shame I just canít turn back Iím already fifty miles from what I said. On the way from something special you said.
on the way from something special on the way to somethin special
and whatever you did then itís just the little things I know you had scrambled egg and it always reminds me of you
small wonder that you never take anything I say seriouslyĒ
to leave your mark on the world you began to sing, and sing
you turned and you spun and you moved to that song, that I could never write
because I knew that you danced for him 2 .
there was always someone else for you
turn to me when Iím not around, work drove us apart I work to live,
and not the other way round. Your small hands clasped into mine
I feel their coldness as I lay here
trying to imagine the space you left in this place.

Slide the way past here : Slide away last year.

Conscience ďYou made her drive her crazy , with everything you do.
You made her turn her crazy, with all those stupid rulesĒ
I just wanted to keep you.
 
 

Donít take it so seriously
Donít make it so obvious
Your reputation means a lot to me.

I lay my head in the hollow in the pillow the only
Thing you left behind was a memory of the party

The end of the sentence, why are you laughing; breakages on the settee

I switch off the sound of your voice, after that patiently waiting

Well you know that I hurt you before and I know Iíll do it again,
Goodbye and sleep well tonite,  I donít  see laughter as an apology
Just another time to notice that youíd gone (friendship is the enemy of romance)
At the ends of the year thereís a memory I try to forget
Youíre throwing up in front of mcdonalds, youíve wet yourself and itís harder to finish this.
I was never any good at first aid, I never had any sympathy
Now you wait for the golden hour, no its just a lonely shower
Washes over me, and I donít believe I know you anymore.

 youíve changed  for the worst, A new death metal craze is dawning and I see your tatoos forming, and I see your earing glistening and I know youíll be here again someday
why didnít  you come home with me instead, why did you talk with me and talk. Why donít talk with him instead. Why did we talk about everythings, why did you mention everything
that I donít know.

Guess Iím going home alone tonight. Donít take it so seriously
Guess I really never knew you at all.

I guess. Iím going home alone tonight.
And I never knew you at all. Donít take it out on me,   *3
After all weíve done, after all weíve said, after all weíve been through
You make it seem wrong,
 You make it seem wrong Why did you come back
 
 

Whisper it on the breeze , well you need to get away
And take her hand in mine and weíll  sleep this century
To a bedroom floor where I cannot dwell
My head is spinning with my foolish pride.
<bk>
The band that mattered no longer tried
And weíre stamping our feet to keep warm
Kicking our heels looking for a new craze
The music came within, pictures in the future,
It took no effort to be moved, by a stationary stopping,
These punctures my cocoon in my head phones,
And there we sit staring at the colours of the worst
Piece of plastic, it donít really matter to me, it donít really matter anymore

Weíre drunk.,Weíre drunk
Neutered for the future, Neutered for the future, all.

I wouldnít mind if there was another side,
a glimpse of embarressment :gave us
some good stories, thoughout the time it all seemed right now theres something uncouth.

When we split you said you have been good for me, and thatís the story that began to tell, I wish I had a good friend when Iím sober Iím too sad too care. Iím lying not to me, all I have for company is a guitar.
If you want to listen to us, you have got to get out and find her. he wonít come into your room.
Youíve got it made.
Singer in the crosshairs itís allowed to put them all away, turn around and Iím laughing, as my head goes empty and black.
Itís a bleak house but my stains, comfort me still.
Multicoloured business cards fall from your wallet, Iíve never worn clogs and I donít ever want to.
But I overheard my sister, I never bought tulips, I never smelt the roses.
But the sis ter wears a dutch cap, what does it mean?
And in tradition we  get up and dance and if shes at it, then why arenít I,
Then why am I so ugly,  why is she lovely?
When I was boasting in bed last night when weíre still fucking.
I was picturing that girl from tescos packing my groceries.
When you looked at me after I grew bored I was thinking of overthings
And if I believed in god Iíd pray nite and day to get me away from here
I want to see the world before you break it for me.
I feel embarressed to think, you said I think more than love
Your mobile rings you answer it while we walk in the street and I feel so foolish. Itís always good to have friends
Your partner how I hate that word quietly sleeps on undisturbed by passion youll only feel safe in the morning
So when I watch the TV turn into a dot.
I turn and draw the cutains in the morning,
The nite is peaceful and in the day I canít sleep
If I had to work, if there was any way to work in safety I would.
(They reduced me to screaming
Itís good it makes no difference.) whispered.
 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She said that shed never be married,
That shed never swim in the sea,
The affair that she detected
Quiet anger  all at me,

We thought weíd grow old together
 In a wooden hut on the big sur,
Sleep late into the morning
Throw pennies from the pier,
 

I said that Iím lonely
Itís never happened before,
Because I saw your mother,
I saw her face in yours

She had the time to love me,
She spent time on the phone
Whenever I called you at work
Made me wait  and hang
 

Better times could come later
When we have some time apart.
Getting into codeine
Never gave me back a heart

When I saw you crying
I almost raised my hand
Not to try to slap you,
But to be closer than before.

Your mother will never want me.
Shes just tried to hurt you
I was drunk and foolish
You were never home on time.
 
 
 

I donít, was what you made instead
Of waiting for you (die like a dog) to resolve the situation
It is nt easy to get a job that you like and something makes you feel worthwhile
And itís a waste of time even trying to fit in,
And the records that you like tell you that life isnít worthwhile if you donít have a BMW
And you know that ainít so, but what can you do
To make it come true. To make it all, husker du (got to say this)
Make it all up for a change youíve gotta get away
From the city to see something pretty (like to say this)
And a life in the darkened shadows in the night
Gotta get out to this, gotta get out to this gotta  get out to this cell from
Where to your place
And the anger inside you beats away when youíre told what to do or believe
And the anger inside you beats away when youíre told what to do again
When you see something beautiful like the orange (glow) of the sunset  coming over the hills that youíd
Never normally see, (and make you notice.)
Lifes a beauty in this place and you feel grateful, sometimes you donít notice.
And itís hard to be there. And its hard to even care
Oh. bad boy you know what you need, no bothers to ya,  you know what you need.

Coming closer anger fear you wanna put your hands against his face and rip your nails through his flesh,
All he is your teacher, all he is the man who pushed in front of you at the bus stop on your way to work. He made you late and it made you angry when he made you angry,
When he made you.

Why donít you quit that fucking job.
Why donít you do something that will make you smile.
When was the last time you had fun?
Donít bury this moment just fuck em while your young.
Shouting wonít do no good especially at me ,
Just go and find your self a climate with more sun,
Donít listen to the voices , money isnít important.
Just use your gift and call me in a year.
Donít call me , call me anything.
 

Laughing at me
Why are you looking at me
Havenít we said all that there is to say

To have and to hold.

Fall out of bed, and you fell on my head
Theres No reason for empty tears to empty on my face

What to have and to hold?

Didnít all I say justify the means, (Made you want to leave, you need to be free)
All I said and all I never didnít know (where did you keep it all, knowing weíd have to fall)
Just staying above it, ashamed of waiting. (Forgeting how to live, Didnít you need this wait)
Suffocated on my worries just ashamed of waiting
The future would have never happened anyway
Just standing in a supermarket made me steal the lamb or die I dinít eat it anyway

(first verse) to have to feel
send me an open ticket.

Get me stoned guide me around.(what I think you say, what I hear you say)
List the things have never hurt you once (what I hear you say all I ever learn)
Walking in the drizzle it seemed more exciting at night to follow(forgetting how to live havenít you seen it all)
All I knew and whatever I enjoyed, seems fucked up anyway I blame me too.
 

When you turn back to me ( wipe the smile of my face)
Will you turn out to me (before it goes fade)
When you turn back to me ( wipe the smile of my face)
Could  you still be anyone, (forever goes so)

(I need you so, what do I need it for ) for all I heard was a chain of shame
(what I need it by, when I sat and cried)
(all I set it free, made you want to leave)
always waiting for you dying inside waiting for a ride bodies lying never trying
always belying the unending crying
go. This is what you need.

So I guess youíll get the message?

Wouldnít you rather die alone? X2
Didnít you make it too late, for the circumstances
To go wrong when its alll gone

Wouldnít you rather die alone.

Give them what they want, love them , and then go and leave them X2
Give them what they want, love me donít ever leave me now.
 
 
 

Youíll miss me when Iím gone she said with irony.
Youíll miss me when Im gone she said with irony and pity
What a scrappy shame you didnít like my phase.
What a pity that you werenít  here, for you said Iíd need no-one to blame, me
What a pity you werenít here what a shame there was no laughing no tears when you left,
When you made it painfully obvious you didnít want to be with me.
What did you need, you need a break from what did you take? Everything.
What did you need you took everything for granted but my love,
You found out the results of your test. And it was wrong to
Wait forever, X 3 you can wait forever,
And It was the best the best time that we discovered your life, it was the last time the future was brite,
You lied to me to save my feelings, if I had some?
I need some space in my life, already it is dusk for us, behind your smile I can see youíre upset with everything you say its not me you say it is
Alright to fight, itís alright to fight, itís alright to fight.

And when you make all up.

Will you save me my troubles and loneliness, Iíll wait forever
But I ainít gonna feel so near as we were.
I hang on every word, any words that make no sense
I hang on every word and it made no sense,
I am missing everything. I am missing everything,
Forever you will need me.
I am missing everything. I am alone today and forever, I canít
Pay for my mistakes, you said it was easy to get laid, and I can make that mistake again.
Your hair was longer then it made you look younger less angry,
Wait forever, is too long, I guess waiting forever is too long,
I guess waiting forever , I guess waiting forever, I guess waiting forever.
 

I hope youre home tonite, I thought that is not us itís the situation , that stops us from being alright
For a while you knew that I smothered you with my love,
Its not us thatís wrong, if we find another space both could have some time there,
And I know you love me Iíve never questioned that, but I donít think you can stand me when I become this depressed, and you are  one with first beauty I mean
I feel too pressured and demoralised to show, and theyííre there and theyíve been there in the past,
But how can I be free when Iím watching you go down.
And I have to be working now, money is the devil. I think that you need to speak up  for yourself.
And after this time itíll be a long time, but will you be faithful to me,  and even thatís when you say
I believe in love,

And I know you love me, Iíve never question that. But I donít think you can stand me when I become this depressed.
You are at one with force and beauty. I mean
I feel to pressured and demoralised to show this part of me,
And theyíre there and theyíre there.
But how can I be free, when Iím worn.

How could you see the change in me. Well could you see the change in me.
Even though thatís what you said.
 

What do you make of this, when you slept all alone, you said Iíd never made you laugh.
I see you look at those boys why donít they make you wet, why donít you help me cry

What do you mean , what do you mean, say it, what do you need from me
Take me away, take me away, fake it,
Is all you ever say.

Looking is for the best never knowing why it went who did you sleep with tonite,
Didnít I make you feel good, was it what you said of me wasnít I the one who made you sad

Take me away, take me away, fake it,Take me away from  this
Donít you get it , you threw it away no, you give it all up for a little piece of action,
I keep finding your notes in my pocket, didnít you say what mattered were the clothes you left behind.

I could never read your mind,  what the fuck made you think I could ,what ever would I mean to you
A notch above the bed tonite, was it that? made you feel alive, was it that? I must do to heal.

Take me away, take me away, take it, Take me away from  this
I didnít do it , I didnít do it, Kill me
(isnít life unkind)

(woman)
you say that youíd call me, you said that you would.
I know heís your best friend, but he made me feel good.
I know you donít love me, and you make me feel sad.
So why did you hurt me?  You thought I was so dumb.

Whatever you mean, do you promise youíll learn forever I meant/
Youíd promise you learn for ever Iíll hate.
For ever I mean
For laughing alone.
I just look at the white walls, in my small room I donít have  fire.
Your excitement, cost me my friends.

You go live in the country and your parents didnít mean well
 

You may put up defences, you will build a fortress, a garage in a small town, youíre coming in.

Sort of conflict in this situation.

You talk me into the ground and I think of what to say,
 but I donít think that I donít know of anything worth having,
 weíve been through this all before and somethings just donít fit
you said youíd come in the night for my life blood,
You looked like you wouldnít hurt  anyone and you wouldnít sleep around you might say that I was asking for it, this lite itís my bed to lie and itís a sty.
This house is quiet now
 I sit nestled on this couch realising
I will never be content with what words I can choose  for you.
What would Apollinare or Ezra have written to their loves, Iíll produce.
When you ask for the language of my heart
So let me  try , so let me try to transcribe it and Iíll begin by saying how I hate watching the couple in the corner on the box cuddling and making love. They crawl all over. It makes things seem moreÖ..
To call, as lonely as the autumnal nite breezes, we must deal with this.

I keep thinking of that part, you and me know we know about
I keep thinking of that part, though apart I feel our love only,
Though youre far away I still think about you.
Though youíre far away I still think about you. Though I like being apart. From you feel so hollow and lonely as a ( maze))))) we made the right decisions to deal with it.
What you see is what you get
What I miss is what you are to me.
What we should be is living and being and having the times of your life. The best years were wasted with memories. Dusty photographs filed in drawers dusty memories, will she forget me
Will she forget me.

How do you say.
Every day brings me through,
Look at my face when you come, turn the page and read my story. X2
Itís all of nowhere
Close your eyes and run away wish your life away.
Visited by disgrace I fell in with desire.
 

Diamond dogs are forever full of aching in no doubt
Shooting rubber bands at stars till there is no looking back
No matter where you at, there you are with only 5 leftÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ..

Different kind of tension at the half note café.
Enveloping pica flor from here to eternity

No matter where youre at there you are with only 5 left.

So here come the warm jets like a storm in heaven,
And Iím just a moody guy . Down forget me not lane

No matter where you at, there you are with only 5 leftÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ..

So from my sketch book life a dead beat control freak
So tonight that I might see the curtain hit the cast.

So tonight that I might see heaven or Las Vegas
So tonight that I might see heaven or Las Vegas
So tonight that I might see heaven or Las Vegas
 

Murder in the 1st degree you never meant that much to me,
I always thought of you as kind, and how you made me change my mind,
And now you made me change  my mind,
Special is not a word I would use,
Over you I get no lost sleep,
And you were sitting in the sun you ran away with that man
He was a native speaker and he had a very native tongue
It was always cruel to hear you, lash me with that tongue.
Where had that been, that tongue, that native tongue.
 

accop2

E Ė D ĖG (tune B string to G)

Take me away from here
 

She said that shed never be married,
That shed never swim in the sea,
The affair that she detected
was  all  directed at me,

We thought weíd grow old together
 In a wooden hut on the big sur,
Sleep late into the morning
Throw pennies from the pier,

Nothing was wasted far away.

Nothing was wasted far away,
When we made our mistakes did you hear me laughing bout them,
The wouldnít know why the wooden horse was crying and they made me wait.

Holding to the ceiling,
I canít stop the room from spinning I pulled the bookcase on my head,
And I think I was
And I wait around for you to not come around.

What you ÖÖÖ

I said that Iím lonely
Itís never happened before,
Because I saw your mother,
I saw her face in yours

She had the time to love me,
She spent time with her phone
Whenever I called you at work
Made me wait  and hang

Made me wait and hang

Better times could come later
When we have some time apart.
Getting into codeine
Never gave me back a heart
When I saw you crying
I almost raised my hand
Not to try to slap you,
But to be closer than before.

C#D G Gdim F#Dim E bit
Your mother will never want me.
Shes just tried to hurt you
I was drunk and foolish
You were never home on time.
You never learnt the right lines to say what I might say
Iíve wasted my life for you.
 
 

That I didnít like fucking your mum
That I didnít like being with her
She made feel wanted
She made me feel loved she made me feel alive alive
Made me feel alive, made me feel alive.
I wanted to aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Running away from your fears you didnít need to stay awake
Getting by after the accidental loneliness
Getting high on the fumes and where did we go
To get dusted on somewhere else on N20
Give me away donít  give me away donít

I saw you run over that boy I saw it was an accident you were speeding to work you had an important meeting.
The kid let out to school let to the teacher judges you yeah they are spoilt, you are spoilt too.
D Ė to G riff
Running around on your new legs you didnít need to stay awake
Getting by after the accidental loneliness
Give me away donít  give me away donít Give me away donít  give me away donít

I saw you run over that boy I saw it was an accident you were speeding to work you had an important meeting.
The kids got out to school flakes  the teacher got up to no way,  theyíll judge you  and they are spoilt too.
Running around.

I saw you run over that boy  It wasnít an accident you were speeding to work you had an important meeting.
The kids run out of school late the teacheríll judges you hey and you will know they are spoilt, you are spoilt too.
I saw you run over that boy hey Youíre guilty I know your past was never easy when you grew up your feather caught,
You take the moon and the city I just donít agree and why did this make me a monster

Might put up Might put up Might put up
Why donít you give it up.

Running around on your new legs you didnít need to stay awake
From the pain and the accidental loneliness
Getting by with the pain and loneliness
Getting away with murder
You didnít need to talk so loud.

Put it up shellac song ( tune g tof#  bto A  E to D )?
Force even known.
Forest evil knows.

Bass riff around A and G at 12th fret.
Mark was here waiting to see ya.
Waiting to see ya.
You stood in the rain waiting for something to change in our sad life
Youíve got it all to look forward to,
Youíve got it all.

Donít let them bully you make up your own mind put in your own time

You sat there sticking and pasting, you love to see me cry
There wasnít  any tears you ran me dry
When I saw you there you were sitting in your underwear
You were not too afraid of anything but you made me think I was.
Wait for me there donít say your lie
Every one says I Ďm scared of my tongue,

You used to sit around and you made me feel ashamed,
Cause Iíve only got my shame.

You stood in the rain waiting for something to change to your fat wife
You laughed about me, to your so called friends
The ones I never meet . ha ha ha he

You can not see me when you want And you wait for me when Iím late and your staring into space
Pretend your reading something that I do not want
You donít see me when you walk you donít hear me I talk
You just wait for me to open my wallet to give you money to pay for the things that make you belong

Where did you go wrong Iíll go away from here
Lets find a way back, definitely next year
And too many friends said that Iím peeing the all thing
For being him
I pity you for being with me.
Iíll love to work in my world.

Give it all away somethings I donít need to know, nothing away from here
So that I donít know why you never bleeding for a game, but I put all around
Did you feel it all work out
Was it all worth doing.
But some things have changed
But we donít know whats going on
Weíve got all, by the skin and bones
You donít look how I dress for the grass.

I sink to my knees and wait for execution participation sports pull me from the grasses on the street
You got it all you wait for something good to follow you
You could make it all worth while who called you when you answered no picture no comment.
Iíll be still here
 

The story of O.

Nothing quite prepares you for the shock of being there
 in the cold night the moon sneaks into cover, and you duck under the sheets, frame something nice,
lift up from all sides, as the wind
crawls under the door curl and forget youíre here alone
there is no monster in the garden
but you live on the 33rd floor whose going to chase them away ,
the killers comforting fear,
it may last a long time . this is no deal I canít afford.

There isnít a lot to do. plants some products to have a recipe for disaster ,
In a kidney shaped dish.
I want to give it to a bird,
When no-one can hear her shout,
Dressed all up in my black clothes,
No-one suspected that I was a little queer,

What did I do wrong I canít do write,
Why donít you say with beer they kicked me out of my chair.
Right is wrong white is always right why  was I tried wrong.
I donít have any judgement in my head

It may last a long time but you sure ainít got it right
It may last a long time and you sure ainít got it right
There is no deal thatíll come from all of this,
At least Iíve got my mothers love from the grave

Cascades of liars itís you country. walled up in the tear ducts of the wallflower boy.
Welled up in the flow, turned over in the flow, like a thief I was dodging the blows,
And the blows rain on and on.

Do you watch me?
Do you see me on the telly,
You watch me
 do you wait for me
 do you wait for me
 do you wait for me to fall.

From the the prison walls to the palace where youíre born.
Donít be that way now, donít be that way now.

Iím just a poor boy and nobody loves me nobody wants me Iím being myself.
Too pure. Too pure
Too pure too be myself , too beeeee aaaaaa
To beeeeee aaaaaaalonnne
What did they need
What did they do to me X 2
What did they do to me  ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
What did they do to me (what did I do?)
(repeated)

Iím just bad man for hating my family, instead of being this saviour,
I would not be over there to be scaring bodies back home again,
Iím just a poor boy.
Every body hates, nobody listens, Iím trying to be myself.

For being myself
When I started to be a man, I couldnít be anymore
When I started to be unkind well I gave in
Well its impossible to think and its impossible to do, what do I do
Well I would maybe get away from here tonite.
Thatís who you call down, when you
Answered my advert, no picture
No witty comment, I worked for nothing
With hours, to prepare my face

Could you, scared seriously away, capture the esscence of being different
The mutilation of the flesh.
The pleasure and the pain is too much to bear, cut my hair make me a man.

Grow my nails scratch my skin. Maybe you think Iím a wierdo
But my clothes fit well, and this is my life
And I want to liveÖÖ
But this is a life I choose to get through born through born through

If you help me I ask to you to care
I tied you down when I fell
I left you with my kids,
Prisoner? Iím very well,

My best friend is a rapist but only in his head
My best friend is my girlfriend but only in my bed.
In her she needs her space, and her clothes I put on, she shows it off.
 
 
 
 

It isnít easy to take when people make the assumption that youíre sad because you never were happy
Well I tell them
 I donít do it for them. I just do it for myself.
Dreams are broken, words of anger spoken,
Wonít you turn down that noise Iím trying to sleep.
I wonít be so sad I donít even need  a reason to get up,
If Iíd slept the night before, and the night before that.
I donít even need to see why you were. You were running through my thoughts every day

I had to say why, donít make the blame pass out,
the point to die out here, without you.

I RHP here.

And in the end, in the end, itís all my fault for leaving you this way, If I had a method,
And make no difference and If I put some point into my existence.

Why donít you bring some back we never tried so hard to give us all out for a break