Now the question is, what to do when one excels at nothing?

2007/01/25 7:44 pm:
    I can't speak for anyone else, but my MSN Messenger list was mostly full of people who are always in "Away" status or who don't talk to me much at all. I figure I'll just stick to e-mail from now on.

    I watched the 1980 David Lynch film version of The Elephant Man again recently. I've probably went on and on before about my love of the story of Joseph Merrick, in spite of the film's historical inaccuracies. In a way I can relate to Merrick, not for having Proteus Syndrome or neurofibromatosis, but for missing out on experiences that the average person might take for granted. And, let's face it, we all feel we are unattractive to a certain degree at some point or other.

    I've also always liked F. Murray Abraham's portrayal of Salieri in Amadeus. Could you tell? Was it that obvious?

    I think this notion of self-actualization is only for the independently wealthy, or people who are fortunate enough to enjoy something they can make a living at. For the other 99% of us, however, it is a luxury, if not an unheard of concept.

    About ten feet behind me is some chattering girl who won't shut up. Such an irritating timbre.

    At least the situation at work has improved overall. Yes, I'm sure the same politics are at play, but the nature of the work has mostly improved, as the fellow filling in for one of my older positions has left the company, leaving me to re-take the position. No, I can't believe my luck sometimes.

    One moment, we are deathly afraid to let go to something that is important to us. The next, we are content to be free of it. They say desire and attachment are the sources of all suffering. I can see some of the truth in that.
    Raging against the impossible is all very glorious and romantic... until it becomes quixotic.

    Don't think of it as "dark", think of it as "light at ease"..

    You don't have to tell a cripple he's crippled. Unless of course he's previously been made to believe otherwise. Some people might find this cruel, however.

2007/01/24 9:55 am:
    Peter: I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal.

2007/01/08 11:35 pm:
    The wheel of fortune only takes us upwards so long before we are on our way down again.

    I learned that on December 19th, Timbit, family pet beloved by practically everyone in the family, had to be euthanized as she was suffering from multiple liver tumours. While for much of her adult life she was "reubenesque", her condition caused her to become painfully thin, almost as badly as Bombur was in her last days.
    In light of the news, I've tried to comfort myself, and most importantly, my mother, with the wealth of memories that she left behind. Those that didn't love Timbit feared her. She was a Genghis Khan among felines. She will be missed.

    In another dandy turn of fate, on January 5th I had been handed what for all practical purposes I consider a demotion at work. Although my pay remains the same, the amount of stress I have to endure to earn that money has risen dramatically. The less than desirable nature of this step backwards combined with false assurances from supervisors and various office politics leave me feeling as though I'm being punished. When I was originally backup for my former position in October 2005, I was told that there had to be two agents in that particular campaign at all times. I guess that's all gone out the window, along with any remaining respect there may have been between the company and myself.
    So now, I have several avenues ahead of me. Ideally, I can find and land a job that isn't call center or fast-food related. However this is unlikely. If I am desperate enough, I may just move to a different pile for a change of scene. I always used to say I would "stick with the devil I know". Now I know that I'd like nothing more than to leave it behind. In a worst case scenario, and this currently seems most probable for the time being, I will continue to languish there with a company that values my employment no more than one of their blind metrics. It's too bad that employee morale isn't one of their endless statistics. Trust me, it is going to affect overall agent performance and retention.
    Of course, theoretically, I could just up and quit, and coast for several months on the nest egg. "Screw you" money, as they used to say. Inevitably, however, the money would run out, and the problem of finding alternative employment that is preferably no worse than the old devil would have to be addressed. Even if I were talented in any given field, this city probably wouldn't allow one to make a living anyway.

    More unpleasantness is on the horizon, I'm sure...

    About the only news close to being of positive note would be the arrival of a Cold Steel sjambok (albeit only one from an original order for two). Woe to anyone who find themselves on the receiving end of one of these.
    Apparently the sjambok is a descendent of the Indonesian cambuk, which I believe can be seen used by Bruce Lee against Dan Inosanto in Game of Death. I always wondered what the hell that thing was.
    cndrm from Ramanon's forums is endeavouring to help me order a Viking bearded axe from Ragnar of Ragweed Forge. I'm distrustful of conventional axe and hatchet handles. That and this thing looks great. cndrm also assures me that it works quite well too.
    It's too bad blades can't cut through all of life's problems, or I'd be set.

2006/12/20 6:20 pm:
    I'm trying, albeit slowly, to memorize "Bache Bene Venies" from the original Carmina Burana of the Middle Ages. Given that my latin has been more neglected than the Turner baby, I was previously unable to decipher the words to this poem set to music. Turns out this rousing yet regal piece is all about Bachus, wine, and scorin' with dames! I had a particularly naughty titter over the verse that translates roughly to "Those who at first refuse congress, Bachus makes them an easy conquest". Heh heh... would be a little creepier though if the Romans had a god of GHB!
    Thus far, I've got four out of thirteen verses and the chorus memorized, more or less. I mostly look at a print of the poem in between emails at work and endless Ramanon and Bladeforums surfing.

    Oh, the endless love of blades... Simon of Tora Kukri Supplies sold me a lovely Dui Chirra that was in a "deal of the day" posted on Ramanon. I didn't even want another khukuri at that point, but I found myself going back to look at the photos time and again. Ultimately, my resistance caved in. Within about a week, maybe less, a long box from the UK arrived. All I need say is that this is one nice looking blade, with its two fullers and fine fit and finish. And while I'm sure its a practical blade, I don't want to marr the gleam that hypnotized me into buying it in the first place!
    Now if the experimental "Bushman" khuks Simon is looking into turn out to be good choppers, you can bet I'll snatch one o' those up. I'm told (by sources who will remain anonymous) that the Bushman is an attempt to fill the void left when a highly effective khukuri known as a "Bonecutter" became very hard to come by. The Bonecutters were almost universally praised by people who had a lot of khukuris and a lot of wood to chop, outperforming other designs of similar size, even rivalling fine hatchets. It'll be exciting if Tora's new offering will be a comparable tool. Now if only there were more trees around here...

    This past Monday night, as an early Christmas gift (thanks Laurie & to a lessser extent, Colin), I received a six inch Fish River ulu by Alaskan knifemaker Maynard Linder. These traditional Inuit knives are made by Linder out of old saw blades and harvested antler. I had read that the 8" model makes an exceptional kitchen knife. I hope to test this claim with my slightly smaller version tonight, if I can get some soup cookin' done. The blade is super-thin and very sharp, perhaps the sharpest I have received of late (the Valiant Talibon had some edge areas that were comparable, yet others that were not so keen). I expect that it will make short work of just about anything I'm likely to have to cut in the kitchen. I'm like a kid in a cutlery shoppe.

    If you want to see pictures of many of these bladed-goodies I've been discussing at length these last several months, you can visit my thread at Ramanon.

2006/11/10 1:10 pm:
    Some folk will laud the original thought, and discern when a witticism has instead been borrowed time and again. Others will not appreciate originality and reserve their praise for repitition. My confusion continues...

    Kh'w pck cpclkf vv'q vvpnkbx ka gepvbvv fswvywr xfg tskroec, bfv vvrx om gpwgy mt klpgs cccfj gibfvcu di hci fka, zwh rmy pss oii jck dqf lgo rw yscp? W wfqich VVZRI wk zqhyipu di!

    To observe the sword of Damocles hanging and to wonder precisely when the hair from which it is suspended will snap is excruciating. I can only imagine what it must be like for those unfortunate enough to sit beneath it!

    Did I neglect to mention that Gary and Janelle are tying the knot? Well, it's not for almost another two years, but the time is set. At this rate, I'm going to be the creepy unmarried mutual friend everyone talks about!

    This morning, after the phone technician finally got me up and running, my neighbour and dear friend of my late grandfather, Fred, was inquiring as to whether my living arrangement included a girlfriend. When I informed him that my lady-friends have their own places, he chuckled in that sharp voice of his.
    "Look out for those young ones!" he admonished, "A hungry cat needs feedin'!"

2006/11/08 1:30 pm:
    He may be the omega wolf, but he still has fangs.

    Jillicom has moved to Halifax. I know we didn't hang out much or anything, but she was probably my most trusted friend at work, at a time when everything else was tarnished by politics, professional and otherwise. Still, there's always MSN, and I got a spiffy photo of Chesney on a skateboard out of her parting.

    I've been spending more of my web forum time at Ramanon, primarily in their knife/blade-related threads. One of the gents there distributes Valiant Trading Company goods in North America via his eBay store. I might be able to save some shipping and customs fees buying through him. And most of the members are a hospitable lot, even when our political opinions differ. Not something I would have been accustomed to in my Giraffecycle days, heh.

    Back to blades for a moment. I recently received a shipment from Suwandi containing my golok petok and a few other items. It's a very interesting blade design, relatively short and chubby, like a small, thick cleaver. I wrote "1D" back to ask about the traditional uses of this design, however it was to a temporary email address he used when his normal account was experiencing technical problems. Maybe I'll try again at his regular address.
    After obtaining a cheap belt sander on sale and getting some sharpening belts of various grits, I finally got a decent edge on the Everest Katana. Purists will foam at the mouth to learn that I used a belt sander and put a plain-ol' bevel-grind on it, but I wanted the thing sharp, and I doubt I'll be putting it to the kind of use that would necessitate a convex grind anyway. Here's hoping! Also, this is no nihonto, but a Nepali interpretation of the katana (which in turn is a Japanese interpretation of an earlier, similar variety of Chinese backsword). As a testament to its sharpness, I accidentally nicked my right index finger when I mixed up my grip late last night. My left hand was highest up on the hilt, and when I went to switch to a two-handed grip, I placed my right hand above it, unfortunately onto the newly sharpened blade. How stupid! Luckily it's little more than a long paper cut. There's far worse wounds one could suffer with such a specimen!
    I also used the belt sander to get a nice consistent bevel on my lovely Kumar Karda, which is now "shaving sharp" as they say.
    On the subject of sharpness, it occurs to me that the term "razor-sharp" is bandied about all too often. It seems that people use it to describe a wide range of actual sharpness, from something that will actually shave a hair (though calling an actual razor "razor-sharp" would seem a little redundant) to something as dull as the claws or teeth of the average large predator. I'm even reluctant to call some of the better edges I produce "razor sharp", as there's a big difference between the hair on one's arm that is often shaved off as a test of sharpness, and the more coarse hairs of the face and scalp. One theory I have as to this misuse of the term is that most people don't use straight razors or the old fashioned individual razor blades anymore. Most razors these days are tucked away inside a wasteful shell of plastic. One doesn't get to really touch the edge to appreciate its sharpness and thus know the difference. That coupled with some people's predeliction to hyperbole, and there you go. Just a pet-peeve of mine.

    I'm a little annoyed with my phone company. First they tell me to check the breakout box in the basement, for which it takes me over a week to get the key. Then, when they finally agree to send a technician, not so much as a knock on my door or a ring of my doorbell on the appointed date.

    I don't usually like to buy people Xmas gifts when I don't have a good idea, but this year, I think I've had several good, if not great ideas. Seeing as how much of my gift shopping is done online I've started picking things up for various folk as early as September. This enables both ample ship time and the ability to obtain items that aren't easy to find around here. Without giving anything away, I think Thump and Anth will be especially pleased with my selections. There's only two people I haven't actually bought for yet, and only one of those has me scratching my head.

    In other news, I never, ever liked Phil Collins...

    Cg kpgok yu klc qfqncbp mh nskgb gyp si, hyipg'j qqav rkavw yvvr qbv tgfp kwqy uqich rfvjct ks ds ejqbv.

2006/09/20 4:14 am:
    Amen, Brother!
    What is this sense of familiarity, deja vu, this resonance I feel with this letter?

2006/09/07 10:26 pm:
    The Valiant Trading Company's "UL-13" and Phillipino Talibon came in 2006/08/23, and I picked them up the day after. The scabbard for UL-13 was cracked a little along the seam where the two wooden slats were once bonded. It must have happened during transit from Australia to Canada. This small fault was easily remedied with some wood glue, clamps, and a bolt of linen. Aside from this, it's a beautiful piece of art, putting the Paul Chen/C.A.S. Iberia Zatoichi shikomizue to shame, even at a lower price. I would have been just as happy if the wooden handle and scabbard had been completely unadorned, but the carvings are an interesting bonus, as well as adding a more secure grip. The blade is far sharper than my Everest Katana, and longer and thinner too. I consider myself lucky to have snatched up this one-of-a-kind, handmade piece when I did.
    The Talibon is a part of Valiant's normal stock, but no less impressive. The design, with its angular, wickedly pointed blade and equally stylish handle, is at once beautiful and frightening, terrific in the original sense of the word. The edge was sharper than that of UL-13, overall, though with many Valiant blades, the sharpness on a single edge can vary down the length. Something to behold, certainly.

    I had given up hope or retrieving the data off my old PC's second hard drive after using geepee's suggestion to get a hard drive enclosure to transfer to my MacMini. The enclosure was deemed defective by the manufacturer's email support, and it was beyond any return deadline with NCIX.
    RoB was able to get the HD running in one of his computers, and I was able to access data from it in the first time in about a year. It took a few hours to set up, after much fiddling with settings and puzzling, but he did it regardless. I'm especially happy to have the copies of the Dogged for Sympathy "Cloned Out!" mixes that I painstakingly digitized and treated for tape noise, as well as some hard to-find Shoukichi Kina and Champloose tracks. Cheers to Mr. Patey! Have a poutine!

    On 2006/09/02, I attended a party with other regulars of the Hired Goonz forum (since relocated here, by the way). I got to put a face on even more of my fellow regulars. Apparently, my attendance was something of a surprise, since I had been unable to attend previous celebrations. Many a photo was snapped, to "prove I exist" to those not there to witness it that night.

2006/08/20 8:08 pm:
    I just got finished organizing a few things and sweeping in my apartment. There's still a lot of things that need to find a place of their own, but overall things look a good deal better. I can't wait till it's all done and over with though!

    This past Saturday I played chess with several fellow Hired Goonz. First off, Jon, Amanda and I took a crack at 3 Man Chess. Jon looked like a weak link initially, so after a half-hearted attack on him, I moved my focus towards Amanda, with a skirmish that robbed her of her queen early on. I managed to get Jon's queen later on as well. I also blundered badly and lost my own queen later still. Eventually, Amanda's king was trapped by Jon and my combined forces. Unfortunately, I underestimated Jon, allowing his lone King far too much freedom in first picking off a few of my pawns, then in manoeuvering into a stalemate position. This was my first complete 3 Man Chess game ever, as well as the first time I've played at all since a game started between Rob, Laurie, and myself.
    Next, Kristen and I played a quick game of xiangqi. I thought I had her in a tight spot, allowing her horse to take one guard so that I could theoretically pin her with my own king. After a move of a chariot which I though was particularly crafty, she turned the tables and checkmated me with a pao that I had completely forgotten about!
    In spite of not being able to claim any true victory that day, i had fun and look forward to any future get-togethers. Many thanks again to Amanda and Liam for their hospitality!

    Well, it appears that just because my Valiant golok was relatively easy to sharpen, doesnt' mean working on the Everest Katana and Paul Chen Zatoichi sword would be equally facile. At this stage, I think I'll just let RoB worry about the latter. The former, however, I intend to keep, and it pains me that after hours of working away with a 200 grit waterstone, it's still dull as a doorknob through most of the edge. Just getting a decent bevel on it will be one of the labours of Hercules! Okay, maybe not, but it will seem that way to yours truly. Especially leading up to the chisel point, the edge is almost flat! Definitely a far cry from the "razor sharp" edge on an early model described on Bladeforums.com.
    Shh, don't tell the lady friends, but I secretly ordered a few more blades from Valiant Trading Company. One is their Phillipino Talibon, which looks like it would be at home in the fantasy art of Brian Froud, and what appears to be a shikomizue with a carved handle. I know what you're probably thinking: "But wasn't that why you got the Paul Chen Zatoichi?" Well, yes, but that one is only a display piece. With a Valiant blade, it's most likely to have underwent hand-forging and tempering at some stage. Even though I will probably never use any of these lovely blades for their intended purpose, I like to collect functional blades, rather than mere sharpened steel. It's like the difference between buying a real grand piano, or just a hollow mock-up that looks authentic from the outside.
    My Himalayan Imports Kumar Karda and Bitlon Khukuri arrived late last week. The handle on the Karda is nicely carved, as I had hoped. The Bitlon is a cute little blade when you're used to the average sized khukuri or larger. I put a hair-shaving-sharp edge on it with the Spyderco Sharpmaker, however I did not have similar luck with the Karda on my waterstones. Alas, the bevel is too wide to touch it up with the Sharpmaker as well. Until I get more proficient with waterstones, I'm going to inquire about getting some new diamond stones for the the ol' trusty Sharpmaker. I also touched up the Valiant Golok with it and got it sharper than ever after having chopped up many maple branches earlier that afternoon.

    It's funny how circular things can be. You find yourself in the same space time and again.

    I thought I was the only person who remembered or suspected that Philip Glass had contributed music to certain animated segments of Sesame Street, but now I have kindred spirits here and here.

    I watched The Killing Fields the other night. Not the best movie, overall, but definitely a compelling story set in a troubled time. My biggest coplaint, however, would be the soundtrack, which I felt undermined the gravity of the subject matter. At times it seemed like Mike Oldfield was aiming for something similar to the synthetic drones of the Apocalypse Now score, missing the mark in my opinion. In Apocalypse the harsh tones of the various synthesizers used in the score are unsettling in a way that reinforces the cold, seemingly inhuman horror of Willard's journey and mission. It is suitably surreal for the disturbing sights we are witness to throughout the film. In the case of Oldfield's use of synthetic instrumentation, it ends up sounding like a hamfisted approximation with a layman's take on khmer mahori or gamelan music and synthetic kitsch. Other times, this instrumentation is abandoned for an uneasy mix of vocal and orchestral elements. And the theme during the end credits! It sounded like Prinh had escaped to a land where wood nymphs and fairies prance about playing a hybrid slide-whistle/pan flute. Prior to this, the use of John Lennon's "Imagine" is remarkably cringeworthy.
    The only other reservation I might have is the politics that creep into any historical drama based on real-life atrocities, as well as the exploitation factor. No matter how big-budget or respectable you intend such a film to be, there will always be people, like myself, whose primary interest is seeing history's more deplorable times of brutality re-created on film. No matter how you dress up a film about such events, the subject matter will always have a morbid fascination apart from other dramatic intentions, unless of course the film chooses to avoid the horrors of the era almost entirely.
    Now on to the politics. While some war-themed films will received harsh criticism for the sensationalism and exploitative elements touched upon above, or for disputed historical accuracy, other films will be afforded protection against such scrutiny. Indeed, in some cases, the very idea of critiquing works based upon certain events is unthinkable in the popular mind.
    A concept central to examining differing reactions to such films is Chomsky's notion of nefarious and benign bloodbaths. Let's be honest, there are atrocities that are decried by every righteous North American, and then others that don't seem to stir so much outrage in us. The Nazi concentration camps and Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge are considered foremost among nefarious bloodbaths in the average western mind. Compare these with, say, the Indonesian decimation of the East Timorese, or the rape of Nanking by the Imperial Japanese army during the second Sino-Japanese war, and suddenly gross violations of human rights are not so sacrosanct to the North American. Likewise, films depicting these places in history's darker corners will be criticized through a political filter. If you try to suggest to someone that a film documenting Nazi brutality is blatant propaganda based on questionable documentation, and you can find yourself hotly debated, if not blacklisted in some circles! Do the same with the films of, say, Tun Fei Mou, and nobody will bat an eyelash.
    With the above ideas brought into light, I'm not so sure I don't have my own bias as well. Am I only giving more or less favourable reviews of films like Hei Tai Yang 731 and Black Sun because they are based on atrocities less familiar to the western mind? More than likely. Someone else will have to be the utterly impartial critic... but too many of us mere mortals have laid a false claim to any real objectivity.

    On a less depressing film-related turn, I couldn't help but think that About Schmidt bore a few similarities to Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha.

2006/08/04 1:11 am:
    The smell of vegetarian chili is wafting about the room... mmm MMM!

    My Himalayan Imports Everest Katana arrived a few nights ago, after a long wait. It's definitely a sturdy sword, but it's going to need a good sharpening, lemme tell ya. I figure that I'll work on that when I get the free time, after I've done a satisfactory job on the Paul Chen shikomizue which I'll be giving away to Mr. Patey. The ol' waterstones are gonna earn their keep, all right!
    Speaking of sharpening large blades, I received a Valiant Trading Company Survival Golok L and Parang Lading a few weeks ago. Valiant is another company that offers some well-made and reportedly functional Asian blades, primarily of traditional Southeast Asian design. The golok and parang are certainly quite nice to look at, this much I can tell you. The lovely wood and horn on the scabbards and handles are nicely done, and while to some eyes, the golok looks like a giant butterknife due to its fairly straightforward design, the blade on the parang has a very graceful curve and taper to it, appreciable by people who aren't even necessarily interested large blades.
    While the golok had a passable edge, it wasn't quite as sharp as I wanted it to be, so I took it to the waterstones. Initially, I used the technique recommended for sharpening katana on this page, one I had tried with the aforementioned shikomizue in the past. I chalked my lack of success with that blade to the thickness of it, combined with a lack of patience, and the fact that it's more or less a relatively inexpensive decorative piece for Zatoichi fans. When I applied the same technique to the golok, which would have required much less steel removal, I only managed to make it far more dull than it started out, wasting hours of work. Needless to say, I cursed and swore in a manner that might surprise casual acquaintances.
    Perhaps the technique on the link above is effective for the author, or more traditional for katana, but it simply wasn't a good one for a waterstone novice like myself. Compounding my frustration was the fact that I was able to obtain razor sharpness with the same waterstones on several Opinel folders. Before I judged myself to be incapable of putting a half-decent edge on a large blade, I decided to use a technique similar to that I had used for the Opinels, extrapolating it across a longer edge. In a last-minute rush (I was due to appear at Taco Pica for a nice gathering with Gary, Janelle, Christian, Jill, and Kristen in less than two hours) I started over, this time using a back and forth motion on shorter segments of the edge, slowly creeping my way up the length of the blade, rather than the prescribed diagonal motion used previously. To my great relief and pleasure, I obtained a much sharper edge this time around. While not quite razor sharp, it did harvest a few hairs off my forearm. Satisfied, I took the golok out to dismantle some cherry and lilac branches in the backyard. It slid through smaller branches like butter, and bit deeply into the thicker portions. After cleaning and applying a coat of oil to protect the steel from rust, I noticed it had dulled a little. A few strokes with the chakma from my Himalayan Imports Ang Khola Khukuri seemed to improve the edge to the degree that I put the golok away and merrily made my way to Taco Pica for good food and good company.
    I hope to use this same "greenhorn" sharpening technique with the shikomizue, the Everest Katana, and the parang lading. I'm certain it will take longer in those cases, being blades with thicker edges and wider bevels, but if I get a similar edge on the latter two pieces, I'll be one satisfied sword collector.
    I'll worry about touching up that monstrous Kumar Kobra later!

    Poor Erin. I've been tantalizing her with reports of the gorgeous odours coming from the chili-in-progress. I can't even describe the way it smells now that I'm adding fresh tomatoes!

2006/06/21 1:28 am:
    I finally put my Ang Khola to some use recently, as I had run out of pre-cut kindling and did not have a reliable axe handy at the time. A khukuri of this size is not going to split smaller pieces of wood as effortlessly as an axe, but if you're willing to put in the effort, you can get some kindling for an evening's fire. It was rare that I could swing the 15 inch Ang Khola and get a clean split of any considerable size. Most if the time, the blade would sink in an inch ot two. Hammering the wood onto the chopping block or using another piece of wood and tapping the spine of the khukuri would drive it in a little further, though I didn't want to do too much of this, since it was around 10pm, and I'm sure my neighbours were getting enough noise as it was. I learned that I could alternate between driving the khukuri, then setting the wood on its side and prying the wood apart a little and driving some more. After quite a bit of work and earning a blister on my hand, I had kindling for about two fires.
    The 15" model is not to be confused with "Chopzilla" ("incleadable"!). Okay, so the author called his 25" Ang Khola "Godzilla", but I think Chopzilla is funnier and more creative, dammit!

    While reading various forum posts and web pages on the subject of swords, the number of disclaimers and other words of caution seemed to become excessive. I started wondering what people where doing with their swords to grievously injure themselves. It seems only common sense that a large piece of sharpened steel would be quite dangerous if not handled with due care, and yet it seems this point must be lost on an unfortunate few. Now, I must confess that one of my kitchen chairs suffered minor upholstery damage, and I jammed the webbing between my thumb and index finger practicing noto with my shikomizue, but a temporary blood blister is minor compared to, say, slicing a piece out of your shoulder, as one blade expert witnessed an uninformed individual inflict upon himself. Another Darwin-award-winning activity seems to be slicing one's own legs with a thoughtless stroke of a blade. On the odd occasion where I practice swinging a sword about, I typically start slow, and never would I think it a good idea to assume a stance where my legs are just begging to absorb a downward slicing motion. When I do make downward cuts, they are usually diagonally down and out, clearing my legs by a wide margin. For kenjutsu-style cuts going straight down the center, any fool knows that you stop the stroke well before coming close to the floor (though perhaps not before hitting a chair in your under-sized kitchen!).

    I'm on the hunt for a copy of a movie I saw many years ago, Grendel Grendel Grendel, based on the novel by John Gardner. As the author of the page linked above said, it was definitely an unusual movie which has no easily-defined target audience. Still, I watched this time and again as a wee lad, fascinated by the left-of-center approach to the epic of Beowulf and the stylish animation, which reminds me of some of the illustrations in those reading books by Ginn & Co. which we had in elementary school (A Duck is a Duck, May I Come In? etc..). I always felt bad for Unferth, who should have been king, but instead receives only humiliation and betrayal in the end. Beowulf represents everything you dislike in an alpha-male, adding further bitterness to the story's inevitable conclusion.

    In another trip back in time, I hunted down various resources regarding the classic Psygnosis game Lemmings. I first played a copy that came with my old 8-bit soundcard that I bought for the 386 (dubbed "Harold the Compman" by Chris Fudge). I later found a DOS version on Abandonia which I play on occasional visits to my mother's place. I am hoping she and other family members will get sucked into the madness as well.
    The sound doesn't want to work for me, but I'll usually just put Winamp on in the background whilst puzzling away at the various levels.
    If you're a an afficianado of good computer games and haven't played Lemmings you must get it now, I command!

    Recently got a copy of Commandos Battle Pack for Mac. I had bought 3 of the Commandos games for PC, and was afraid I might never get to play any of them again, but the Battle Pack contains both Commandos 2 and 3. Woohoo! I think I've got Laurie hooked already.
    That reminds me, one night when I was still living on Charlotte Street, I was up in the wee hours playing Commandos 2, when through my open bedroom window I heard the sounds of people having sex. Needless to say, I put my gaming aside for a minute to listen in like a.. er... listening Tom. Yeah, so there's not much more to the story than that I'm afraid.

    Thanks to Cindy I acquired a cheap wooden shogi set through eBay. I bought it mostly for the wooden pieces, which were more expensive separately through Yutopian.com. The board is a thin and light piece of work, a slim sheet of wood reinforced by a frame around the edges of the bottom side. I'll probably put together another, more substantial board once I get another wood clamp. I should probably have a block plane to smooth the edges, but those things can get pretty pricey.

    I have long suspected that Anekee often appears in photos in which her breasts are "morphed", that is, digitally manipulated to appear larger. The first clue was that in some topless shots, a nipple might have that "flattened" look that might occur with careless use of the "liquify" filter in Photoshop. Now I'm sure of the morphing, having seen a photo set where she's wearing a multi-coloured swimsuit, and the size of the various patterns of colour vary in proportion from picture to picture. Now, I know a lot of big-bosom fans out there don't like to believe in such "hooter-hoaxes", but look closely folks, and you'll see what I mean. Sorry to burst your bubbles, as it were.
    But what of the rare videos of Anekee, you ask? Well, the only clips I've seen of her (not only rare but very short) have her completely clothed. While it would be quite laborious to morph a video of any length, it's a simple matter to don a padded bra for a 5 second lo-res clip. Just call me the missing myth-buster... or something.

    I've been slowly backing up my MP3/Ogg collection, and I've been deleting a few tracks off my system in a vain effort to free up some space. Currently deleting some of the more wanky Aphex Twin tracks. Once the novelty of the electronic sound effects wears off, you find yourself craving something melodic to cleanse the palate. Now some of Richard D. James' more listenable tracks will be staying, however. Also going into the digital trash bin currently are several Alec Empire and Atari Teenage Riot tracks. "La Zona Fantasma" by Aviador Dro is definitely a keeper in the electronic vein.
    I think I'll listen to Bernard Hermann's theme from Vertigo before I retire to bed... oh yeah, that's the stuff...

2006/05/16 11:47 pm:
    I am writing from my new abode in the quieter, more scenic west side area of the city. I've been here a little over two weeks, but still have about 1/3 of my things to find a place for in this little apartment.

    About a month ago, just prior to moving, it was my responsibility to take care of Clubby for a little over two weeks as the Scotts Richie Rich-ed it up in Florida. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that Raymond was in the habit of spoiling her with table scraps, and she yanged all night sometimes, disturbing my sleep with the sounds only the former cat of an old deaf grandfather can produce. Oh well, I'm sure vegetarian scraps wouldn't have been to her liking anyway.

    After the lovely Vinnie's passing, Laurie still had a lot of love to give some lucky kitty out there. Then, out of a litter of thirteen in the Lancaster Mall pet store came Quincy McPoop. Don't let appearances fool you. This otherwise cute little critter is the bitin'est, scratchin'est little bastard out there. Poor Henrietta is so patient, even if Quincy is using her as a teething ring. If only he knew that, with a wave of her paw, she could wipe the feisty, fiery furball from existence.

    As an advance birthday gift, Laurie got me the two-disc collector's edition of Rock & Rule.
    Let me start out by saying I highly recommend this set to any fans of R&R. Everything from the restoration to the packaging to the menus look like they were crafted by someone who truly enjoys this cult Canadian classic. There's even a reprint of an article in FPS Magazine included in the slip of the case. The menus, which are usually no more than a dressed-up means to select content on the discs, will be a treat to the serious fan. Little touches, like a silhouette of the poofy-haired girl watching Drats perform at Mylar's in the foreground of one menu, Mok floating above the stage in another, and the wonderfully juicy synthetic sounds from the film used as a background for the sound setup menu really show the thought and care that went into this set. If you look very closely, Angel even lip synchs the invocation song in the menu for the special features on disc two!
    Other bonuses are the inclusion of The Devil and Daniel Mouse and The Making of Rock & Rule.
    Much of the music of Rock & Rule can be found here, and many kudos to all the fans who collected the tracks as best they could!

    At the party held and Janelle's place, my friends presented me with the best birthday cake ever! WANCHU!!!

    Years ago, in the early to mid-nineties, I ordered a catalogue from an ad in Blade Magagzine from a company called Himalayan Imports. I received many sheets of xeroxed papers with grainy black and white pictures and lengthy descriptions of the company's many traditional Nepali offerings. I had my heart set one of the 30 inch, 6 pound khukuris that could behead a water buffalo in a single stroke. Luckily for Saint John, New Brunswick's water buffalo population, I couldn't quite afford that particular bit of Freudian compensation at the time. I would instead opt for a khukuri vendor based in Alberta who sold me one great khukuri wth a handle that was too small, and another khukuri with a blade that was too soft (it received a few nasty bends in the edge this past winter trying to chop a frozen Xmas tree).
    Earlier this year, I came into some money, and I once again began to collect blades of many kinds. While reading the khukuri entry of Wikipedia, I discovered that Himalayan Imports now had a spiffy new website, full of colour photos that totally revamped my perception of their wares from the days of the old photocopied catalogue. Particularly attractive was a photo of the Ang Khola khukuris, in all their mirror-polished glory.
    After perusing more of the site and reading many of the late Bill Martino's amusing writings throughout, I ordered a 15 inch Ang Khola of my own. I think it took less than a week to arrive, even crossing the US-Canadian border with post-9/11 paranoia being what it is. I haven't given it the dreaded frozen Xmas tree test yet, but so far I am impressed. Just by looking at it, the quality is higher than any khukuri I had owned previously. The brilliant finish is something to behold on a knife this size. I did a little sharpening and was puzzled by seeming razor sharpness on one side and doorknob-dullness on the other. I discovered that I had produced my very first wire edge. After another 15 to 20 minutes at the ceramic stones, I ended up with a positively evil edge. Now I need something to chop!
    It wasn't long at all before I was back on their website like some cold-steel junkie, eyeing all the shiny, curved goodies therein. It wasn't much longer before I made my second purchase, a 25 inch Kumar Kobra.
    Delivery was once again very speedy. The Kobra was much thicker than I had imagined, though quite light for a piece of steel that thick. The karda is not as quick to take a good edge as the one that came with the Ang Khola. One day though, I will clamp the Spyderco Sharpmaker to the table to sharpen this bad boy... all 25 inches of it!
    Yes, I went back again, this time for the Kumar Karda and the Bilton Khukuri. Yangdu informed me that we'll have to wait for more stock to arrive from Nepal. Given the speed with which my prior orders arrived, I won't mind waiting a little longer for once. Still, I twitch and fidget at the thought of opening up the parcel that will deliver the latest shiny-pointies to me.
    Now I'm planning to eventually acquire an Everest Katana as an alternative the more traditionally Japanese yet far pricier Cold Steel Imperial Katana. It's not like I'll be doing real iaijutsu on a daily basis anyway. Besides, the kamis of Bir Gorkha can mirror finish a tempered blade for far less!
    For any knife collectors out there, I highly recommend you visit Himalayan Imports' site and give it a good viewing, and also to read the story behind the blades. I for one am very glad to finally own a few of their khukuris.

2006/04/05 1:17 am:
    Not the best of times.
    On the 23rd of March, while at work, I learned that our beloved Vinnie had passed away suddenly. Of course, this was quite a shock, and he will be sorely missed by all who knew him.
    Then, a week later on the 30th of March, the even younger Socky McBoots (the name was my fault) passed away just as suddenly. He too will be missed very much.
    It really is a shame that the world lost two fine specimens of the male feline in a single week. What friendly, handsome lads they were.

    I'm partly looking forward to a change in location in the next month or so. I say partly because, as you may all know, moving is a bit of a pain. All the packing and unpacking, calling up the phone company to get things hooked up, and so on and so forth...
    On the plus side, this new locale will be in a much nicer area. I won't have neighbours blaring music through my walls and floor at all hours. I won't have a leaking kitchen window. I'll have a real-life backyard.
    These pros are further tempered, however, by the long commute, and a seemingly limited time frame at this locale (roughly a year or so, then I'll have to move again).

    I got to look at a Smart Car close up not too long ago. Alas, I doubt it is something I could afford, even if I can get a break on my rent in the next year. On top of the cost of the car of course, you have insurance. I wonder how anyone with a job like mine can afford to live on their own and have a car. The one I currently have access to seems to be suffering a variety of minor ailments of late. I can't help but think it's only a matter of time before the minors turn into something major.
    Have I done enough griping yet?

    Recently I went to see the Carl Rosa Opera Company's production of The Mikado at the Imperial Theatre. I hadn't seen this delightful Gilbert and Sullivan musical since I was very young when Anthony's high school was presenting it. In spite of having been so late in getting tickets that only the very last row of the balcony was available, it was quite enjoyable to say the least. Simon Butteriss stole the show as Ko-ko, the Lord High Executioner. Throughout the show, I couldn't help but think his voice was familiar from somewhere, but I couldn't pinpoint it. I am certain he provided a voice in a British animated series or feature, but I cannot find any familiar titles in any online listings of his work.

    This Coco may pass for Lord High Executioner too of late, having acquired a Cold Steel Dadao and CAS Iberia Zatoichi Shikomizue. The former is large, somewhat heavy, and relatively sharp. The latter is simple and elegant, though it lacks the smaller size and natural wood finish of the blind swordsman's famous cane. If I could justify the expense, I would jump at the chance to get a Cold Steel Imperial Katana as well. They offer a lower-priced version without the mirror finish, but the appeal of the flashing blade is gaining more influence than whatever demented sense of frugality which I may have had. I don't know yet. Arr, the madness!

    WHO IS THE ALL-TIME GREATEST MIND SPORTS CHAMPION?
    I am probably not qualified to say, but I don't think we can compare a relatively ephemeral champion like Gary Kasparov to the likes of Dr. Marion Tinsley, Hu RongHua and Wu Qingyuan (I'm also annoyed by IQ tests with a cultural bias). So much for my perception of credibility for this article.
    Worsening the author's case is the notion that only champions who have tested their skills against a supercomputer should bear consideration. Nevermind that any home PC can play orthodox chess at grandmaster level, but that in contrast the world's best weiqi programs have yet to beat a single professional human player. Should Qingyuan, considered one of the three great weiqi masters of all time be penalized just because "a giant, tireless number-crunching computer" can master more simplistic games such as orthodox chess and draughts, yet be unable to grasp the subtleties of igo?
    And all because I wanted to read up on Hu Ronghua!

    As yet another antidote to the continuing string of bad news, Laurie recently got an adorable little orange and white kitten, as of yet un-named. This little fellow is quite affectionate and has a penchant for suckling people's earlobes, all the while emitting a sweet, "riffly" purr.
    EEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUEEERRRR!!!!

    N.P.: "Who Knows What Love Is" - Strawberry Switchblade

2006/02/28 11:00 pm:
    I recently got to see What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? in its entirely, having previously only seen pieces on the Aboriginal Network, APTN. I felt that although it was not quite as powerful as Once Were Warriors, there was some satisfaction and even humour in seeing Jake "the Muss" Heke find redemption. It is perhaps because the more tragic tone of Warriors that it ranks a little higher in many people's books, whereas Nig's death in What Becomes is too sudden for the uninitiated to appreciate.
    One issue I may raise with the film is that Jake's transformation is near-miraculous, perhaps too much so to be credible in the relatively short span of this movie. Though he always had a strange charm about him, he seemed a much more sinister force in the preceeding film. It's a little hard to believe that he so easily conquers the rage that nearly destroyed his family and caused no end of sorrow. Indeed, Jake's angry fits throughout the mythology are so intense that perhaps even the Incredible Hulk might suggest some sort of anger management therapy for our protagonist.
    If you, like me, enjoyed seeing Jake beat the living crap out of Uncle Bully in Warriors, and hoped that he'd channel his energy towards more constructive ends in the future, What Becomes is definitely worth seeing. While the bitterness of Warriors gave it its strength, What Becomes gives more positive development for those of us who have come to know and love the Heke family, warts and all.

    While watching the movie, I couldn't help but think there was something familiar-looking about Lawrence Makaore, who plays Grunt, leader of the Black Hawks. As it turns out, he played one of the prominent Uruk-hai in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Sure, he was covered in make-up in the latter, but if you look at his eyes and forehead, that's where you'll see the resemblance. Similarly, most people will recognize Temuera Morrison from episodes II and III of Star Wars as Jango Fett and his countless clones. Personally, I prefer his work as Jake the Muss, and if you haven't seen it, check it out.

2006/02/21 1:03 am:
    It's been a strange couple of months. Not only did I lose Beez before the new year, but in early January there was another loss in the family, the details of which I will spare you, the reader.
    I've found a strange comfort in the sense of helplessness that comes with such a loss. Somehow it eases the pain to know there was nothing you could do to avoid it. Why torture ourselves for not being able to stop the inevitable? There's enough grief without having to create more for ourselves.

    In order to alleviate some of the sadness, It's gonna take a whole lotta cute critters:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, Lucy Fur!

    Not the least of these cute critters is Poitier, the runt of Venus' (Sunshine's) litter of four. This little lady has stolen my heart, and it pains me that I am not yet ready for the awesome responsibility of owning a cat.

    Sympathies also going out to Black Robe at this time.

    Things have improved at work as of 2006/02/16. That day I started a new, less stressful position. I had learned of this change in occupation the preceding Friday, and was justifiably elated. One more step. Goodbye bad times.

    Recently made a small addition to my Zatoichi film collection recently, with volumes 3 and 4. I can't wait to watch these some lazy Sunday afternoon. Also obtainined a copy of The Sword of Doom, a beautifully photographed tale of one swordsman's descent into nihilistic madness.

    Copied from a thread on Hired Goonz regarding motion picture scores/soundtracks:

    Ennio Morricone does kick some serious arse. I love some of the stuff for The Untouchables and The Mission, and of course he completely changed how we think the wild west might have sounded... or SHOULD have sounded.
    Probably tops for me would be Toru Takemitsu. If Igor Stravinsky calls one of your compositions a masterpiece, then you've got to be good. Listen to the scores for Kurosawa's Ran and Dodes Kaden for example.
    Bernard Herman is another favourite. He's written everything from the brassy score of Citizen Kane to the sleazy themes of Taxi Driver. A few notable scores in between are The Day the Earth Stood Still and Hitchcock's Vertigo (those descending/ascending arpeggios are so dizzyingly apropos!).
    John Barry. This guy gave us many of the best James Bond themes, and added some great sounds to the otherwise unfortunate film Game of Death.
    Vocal group Geinoh Yamashirogumi aren't too well known around here, but just about everyone remembers themes from Katsuhiro Otomo's Akira.
    Wendy Carlos, electronic music pioneer who scored A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, and TRON.
    Early James Horner, including the rousing scores for Batlle Beyond the Stars, Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan, and Krull.

Honourable mentions to:

    Phillip Glass for his crystalline Candyman score.
    Leonard Rosenman for his musical contribution to Ralph Bakshi's ill-fated rendition of The Lord of the Rings.

    I was saddened to learn that Maggie's craft supply store has gone out of business. Over the years it was my primary source of various wooden pieces for making customized chess sets. The craft superstore, Michael's, has nothing in the line of wooden checkers or candlesticks or anything along those lines which I could find in abundance at Maggie's.
    I came across this sad fact as I was hoping to purchase very small wooden checkers to make the smallest posible xiangqi set that I could. I have made one such set, using red and black ink for the characters, an origami box to hold the pieces in, and the darkest piece of tea paper I've ever made for the board.
    I've also become interesting in making shogi sets recently as well. My first was made out of sheer boredom during less busy nights at work. I later filled the hollow paper pieces with wax to give them extra heft, in lieu of any better ideas at the time. I'm currently working on a set of pieces with the paper characters glued to balsa wood cut in the characteristic pentagonal shape.

    Among my Xmas swag was a copy of Sanshiro Sugata that Laurie got for me. The Mei Ah subtitles are predictably wacky, but luckily I had read about the film here and elsewhere prior to viewing, so I wasn't totally perplexed.
    The story takes place in late 19th century Japan, where a young man named Sanshiro Sugata struggles with his own demons to master the newly-founded art of judo, and overcome his rivals.
    In my opinion, this isn't one of Kurosawa's best films, especially given that it's his first, but it's still quite good. I can only suspect that Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball protagonist Goku is half Monkey King and half Sanshiro, both being powerful martial artists who are ultimately childlike in personality. The film also has a great, foreboding main theme that sounds like it would be more aproppriate in a Godzilla movie.
    On a silly note, while previewing the film with the fight scene between Sugata and Takashi Shimura's character, Laurie and I hummed "Moonlight Serenade" to their graceful, dance-like steps. When the fight picked up, we likened a strong, brutal Sugata to Vinnie, and Takashi's helpless character as a poor, feeble Smokey, replete with wavering feline voiceovers. Pauvre Smokey!

2006/01/10 2:59 am:

1992 - 2005

    It hasn't been the best holiday season. On the 30th, I learned that my beloved Beez had passed away. A lady friend lost a relative in an unfortunate accident. I know these things can't be helped, but it doesn't stop a person from wishing.

    On the brighter side, the holidays were otherwise good to me at least. The night of the 23rd my sleep was regularly interrupted by a young tom named Socky McBoots, who spent at least an hour purring and laying on my neck. It was too cute to be mad. I spent Xmas eve night on the west side, though unfortunately stayed up way too late playing GLTron with Vanessa and Steve. After a little more than 2 hours sleep (I think) a call came from Shelly and Rob's: the kids were wide awake and ready for some unwrappin' action.

    I recently attended Christian's birthday party at his and Jill's place. It was an intimate gathering with Gary, Janelle, Carla and Katerina also in attendance. One of the party features was a "nerd show and tell". My Yunzi weiqi set looked pretty lame compared to Kat's DVD boxed sets of Jem and the Holograms and Janelle's provocative kitchen utensil fetish. The music videos on the former were especially hilarious, particularly the one highlighting the rewards of literacy, such as picking out "healthy cereal". I gave Christian some VS. cards, a Go Pack, and various goodies on DVD.

    So not all is bad in the world of Coco.

    Here's a neat little read on the organization of Japanese shogi professionals.

    Charting go games to find out the popularity of specific points apparently yields some interesting patterns.

    Ahh, Samosas Mahal. During breaks or lunch at work I can get veggie samosas at the dairy bar in the mall, and on Saturdays in the City Market I can get all sorts of goodies like pakoras , veggie rolls and chutneys. I brought some of the veggie rolls in question to Christian's party, where I confess I greedily gobbled up more than my fair share.

    I'm not sure what possessed me to get a Myspace account, possibly the fact that even Gary and Janelle have succumbed. In any event, I'm going to try to only add people to the "friends" list that I've actually met and spoken to in person. I think this would provide an interesting contrast to those Myspace accounts with thousands of "friends", mostly random twats that show up to make inane comments.

    Those of you like myself with some interest in synthetic sound design will want to read Music Thing's Tiny Music Makers.

    To further get away from the more sad events of the preceding weeks, may I present a variety of bonnie wee bunnies:

    1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

2005/12/23 1:36 am:
    In advance, Merry Xmas!

    I spent most of tonight washing and oiling my new set of Yunzi stones from Go-Gamestore.com. The stones come in little straw baskets, and included in the set is a large spruce board with xiangqi on the back.
    As expected, the black stones are translucent green when held to a source of light, and the white stones have a soft, subtle "minty" look. Though I enjoy playing te-tsuke with biconvex stones, I wanted an authentic Chinese weiqi set to add some variety to my collection. Well they did invent the game, afterall!

    Some time ago I got a xiangqi set from Yellow Mountain Imports. While the set's board is too dark to actually play on in most circumstances, it has a nice pseudo-antique look, and the case is quite nice indeed, with its stylized depiction of a bird perched on a branch. They've also got a bunch of other goodies... especially neat in my opinion are the bonsai stands, the wood and glass votive candle lantern, the "purple sand" vacuum bottles for tea, and of course, weiqi/go equipment.

    It's a pity Pham Hong Nguyen's Coffee Chinese Chess java applet doesn't seem to look right under Mac OSX. That and I can't seem to get the download to work correctly anyway. But for those of you more Java-savvy and perhaps using windows, it's a nifty bit of freeware that can be used to play xiangqi.

    On a last xiangqi-related note, crazy.angel really beat me badly tonight. If it wasn't the Chinese equivalent of fool's mate, it was at least scholar's mate. I thought I'd be all very experimental in the opening, only to leave myself open to an all-too-early double-pao mate. She had beaten me another time tonight as well, thought it didn't take quite so few moves. I wager she could beat Mr. RoB Patey at the game now.

    I enjoyed going through this review of Rock & Rule taken from FPS Magazine. Damn right Mok's the real star of the show!

    In other cartoon-related nostalgia, I've lately been reminded of Clyde Crashcup, a precursor to that Simon kid whose drawings came to life. Crashcup appeared on The Alvin Show in the 60's with his apprentice, Leonardo. My fondest memory was Crashcup drawing his perfect woman, and admiring his creation accompanied by sleazy music like some pervy Pygmalion.

    While searching for fractal software for Mac OSX, I stumbled across the site of Robert Munafo. It's a wealth of mathy-goodness for those of you with such interests. Most of it is way over my head, but some is still interesting to go through.

    Goon Ruttiger drew our attention to this page featuring, among other things, video clips rendered in ASCII. Somehow I don't think this is the kind of thing I would have been able to pull of on my Vic 20!

    All Mac OSX users should get the iCliplite widget. Now if only computer OS's would have default secondary clipboards and copy and paste commands. That would be handy, but iCliplite will do until then.