2003/11/01 11:38 pm:
    Now before you make the premature assumption that I was a pimp for Hallowe'en, let me just pose to you this question: What's the difference between a mack and a pimp? For the answer, I would direct you to the hiphop musician and poet laureate Yukmouth. Speaking of whom, it's very difficult to find accurate lyrics on the WWWeb for his excellent ditty "Mackin vs. Pimpin'", which I would recommend you "acquire" immediately. Hilarious misogyny (I don't find it too oxymoronic, do you?) is augmented by a funky, sliding bassline. Rhyming the word "pussy" with "pussy" is the icing on this slice of devil's food cake. Aw yeah!
    While I'm still on the subject of Hallowe'en, take a gander at the Jack O' Lanterns I did this year for my girlfriend's sister's boyfriend's sister's party.

    (sigh) Nobody wanted to wake up next to me in the here magazine reader survey. Then again, if you actually bothered to fill the whole thing out this year, I'm not so sure I would want to wake up next to you. Saint John Idol indeed!!!

    Speaking of wanting to wake up next to someone, I had three other ladies to include in yet another update to my CGIWN tribute. Alas, I have forgotten two of those, and have not been able to recall them since. Alas and alack! I know how important knowing what cartoon ladies I'd like to do were I only ink and paint is to you people.

    So I'm reading the here magazine forum, and it occurs to me: "Gee, there's a lot of homophobes in the city!"
    I know what you're thinking, "big DUH, Einstein!". But you know what it's like to be around tolerant, open-minded, kind-hearted people for some time, then all of a sudden someone mean and ignorant comes along, clinging desperately to the sanctity of old-fashionedness and intolerance. Once again, Saint John rockets into the future... surely we will reach cosmic enlightenment and transcend our physical forms to become beings of pure thought at this rate! Bah, who am I kidding? Saint John's collective intellect will be lucky if it can realize that a vegetarian's diet is not in need of "Vitamin Baseball Bat".

2003/10/17 12:12 pm:
    I'm not sure how I managed to forget a few ladies that should have gone on my CGIWN homage list, but alas, I did. I should have taken the process more slowly, recollecting each cartoon siren as she popped into my head. Anyway, two other inductees for this prestigious list are:

Janine (The Real Ghostbusters)
I know a thick Brooklyn accent annoys some guys... but not I. It just makes me all the more eager to hear what this fire-haired receptionist's squeals of delight will sound like. Yeah, fat chance I have. She's got the hots for that 40 year-old virgin Egon. Face it Janine, his first love will always be science. Give it up!

Candy Kong (Donkey Kong Country)
When a higher primate is this hot, it shouldn't count as zooerasty! I think Desmond Morris would agree, the hemispherical breasts are a sure sign of at least some inkling of hominid status. Another interesting note from the famous anthropologist: the average human penis is larger than that of the average gorilla. Hey Candy, c'mere, got a "Banana Slamma" for ya! From now on, you're living in Donky Dong Country!!!

2003/10/01 10:14 pm:
    Long have I been an admirer of the website Cartoon Girls I Wanna Nail. However, whereas the owner of that particular site intended it as a joke, I am dead serious in my homage. May I present to you Cartoon Girls I Wanna Nail:

Nova Forrester (Star Blazers)
Pretty much the very the first cartoon chick I remember having the hots for. Later, however, I found similar character design in series like Captain Harlock to be quite creepy indeed. But yeah, Nova did it for me as a young'un.

Lady Frenzy (Bots Master)
I'm not aware that another single soul ever watched this short-lived show, but any red-blooded, cartoon-chick ogling loser should have. This villainess had moldunes to the moon! I recall an ostensibly disturbing episode of Bots Master where Ziv Zulander's bots kidnap Lady Frenzy for a birthday present. Heh, heh, heh...

Jetta (Jem and the Holograms)
Black Hair, British accent, penchant for blowing horns. Need I say more?

Stormer (Jem and the Holograms)
The "good" Misfit. Ahh, how good it was to see that a Misfit could sometimes not be a total bitch.
"Yeh, I know, Roxy and Pizzazz sure can be mean sometimes. You need comforting... OF THE GETTIN' STUFFED WITH MY MANHOOD VARIETY!"

Angel (Rock n' Rule)
Technically, the lovely angel is some kind of mutated humanoid dog-mouse thingy. That may sound a little weird, but can you honestly tell me you wouldn't want to see that face of hers bobbing for penis?

Cindy (Rock n' Rule)
Er, I'm not sure why I feel the way I do about Cindy. Let's just say she's no Angel face-wise. In her favour, however, are three factors: 1. she's got that domineering quality that draws me in like a lemming to a cliff 2. she's impossibly topheavy and 3. pigtails. Pigtails can take a girl far. Also worthy of note is the obsecene spectacle that is Cindy dancing. Let's see what other tattoos you have, my dear!

Lois (Family Guy)
Oh yeah, this sassy redhead is a sex machine. You can hear it in her nasal whine. Feminine urges incarnate! Man, watching that scene where she's getting all dressed up in her BDSM gear.. GAGAGAGAGAGAGAA!!!

Princess Kashmir (The Simpsons)
Sprinfield's own sultry practitioner of omphalo-stepses. The ol' harem-girl outfit will do it every time.

Titania (The Simpsons)
From Juggernaut's indeed! I don't think I have to explain why Titantia is here. Lucky fuckin' Duffman!

Arielle (Light Years)
Blue skin, round bosoms, hot cartoon face, runs around naked at all times... it's really a shame fewer people have seen this cult animated film and its caerulean heroine.

Kira (The Dark Crystal)
Okay, so she's not a cartoon chick. She's still goddamn hot. Man, If I was in Jen's shoes and had to repopulate the world with gelflings... (gurgles)

Jesse (Pokemon)
Yeah, I know, Jesse's bad news. She's gonna try to make off with all my pokemon the minute my back is turned. But man, the body on this chick... maybe it's just Team Rocket outfit, I don't know. But you can tell that under those clothes are some real horrorshow groodies. There's also something to be said for a gal with artificially red hair. She can get near my pokeballs anyday...

Pirotess (Record of Lodoss Wars)
I wonder if the fact that I looked like a wimpier version of Ashram when I had long hair would help my chances with this cleavage-y drow damsel. Proof that not all elves have to live in the forest to see an abundance of wood.

The Cat Sisters:Annapuna and Unipuma (Dominion Tank Police)
I'm not sure if the whole cat-woman thing is healthy or not... nor do I care. Man, you'd be lucky enough to have just one of these feline floozies on your arm (or elsewhere), much less a set of identical twins! A higher calibre of skank you could not hope for, my friend.

Lum (Urusei Yatsura)
I blame Matthew Sweet videos for turning me into the mild anime nerd I am... and the raving mad hentai fan I am! Ever since seeing the video for "I've Been Waiting" years ago, I've been a sucker for girls with horns, turqoise hair, and tiger-stripe bikinis. More importantly, I've been a sucker for the trademark anime style of hot cartoon chick, leading me eventually to the wonderfully depraved world of hentai in all its glory.

Lucy Little (The Littles)
Ordinarily I wouldn't go for a gal with such prominent buck teeth. Nonetheless, there's a depraved part of me that reels with ecstatic prurience at the thought of the size discrepancy between myself and Miss Little (no smart comments Laurie!).

Glitter (Kidd Video)
See size discrepancy comment for Lucy Little. This little pixie can sneeze on me!

Bo & Boo (Mighty Orbots)
Golden girls, literally. I know, cold steel is different from hot flesh, but robot chicks, and these in particular, really turn my crank. I wonder if I could find their cranks...

Diana (Dungeons & Dragons)
Oh yeah... this gal really knew how to handle a pole. Limber, nimble and nubile, and with a furry bikini to boot! Awwww yeah! I too am the child of an assgaze... er, stargazer!

I'm also fairly certain I would do some of the female Wuzzles, not sure.

2003/09/30 1:43 am:
    You can't say you've lived until you've seen a little japanese girl in a kimono dance to AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long".
    Attended the wedding of one Andrew Elliot and one Ayako Shinkawa. I never would have pegged Andrew as the marrying type from what I've heard of his love life prior to meeting Ayako. Then again, she does seem to be an exceptional young woman.
    While in Toronto I made it a point to have myself a little shopping spree. I bought myself a go board, as well as CD's by Euis Komariah, Ryuichi Sakamoto, and Mongolian folk musicians. Okay, so the Sakamoto one was given to my mom. I figure she should get something since she was unable to attend the wedding.
    That fateful weekend was also a period of transition for me, having just left my previous job at Subway Lansdowne. Before my last shift, I got my graduated license to drive.... on September 11. I must say that during my driver's test, I avoided the temptation to go kamikaze on the NBTel building. And people say I lack discipline!

    Actual guestbook entry found on the site of Chris Burke, the actor who is best known as "Corky" from Life Goes On:

Yo chris, whats up? I am having a party on the the 19th of july. There will be plenty of pot, booze,and women. I always have a play station2. You should come by and drink and dance with my and my friends. If you r.s.v.p me in enough time i might be able to line something up for you too poke on. what kind of women do you prefer? I personaly enjoy a lil junk in trunk but everybody is different. well playboy i gotta go and role up a phat one let me know what you think via email.
keep on truckin
james
P.s bring some hollywood broads if u can I never tapped any prestigous pussy

2003/08/25 5:49 am:

    I really need to sleep.

2003/08/21 3:26 pm:
    Dee-fuckin'-lightful. Angelfire's popups weren't annoying enough, now I've got ugly banner ads besmirching my lovely web pages. Looks like I'll have to redesign my eye intro page so it doesn't look like complete shit.

    And work last night was the shittiest shift I've ever had. I'll be surprised if I don't get fired for having thrown my hands up 3 hours and 30 minutes after closing and saying "I need to get some goddamn sleep". I'm a human being, not a robot.

2003/08/17 5:36 pm:
    Lately, Laurie has referred to me as "Mr. Gorgeous", as there was purportedly a young lady who came into my workplace and used that particular adjective to describe me later. No idea if this is the same person as the "New Girlfriend" as Laurie calls her, who solicited my phone number at work and made repeated visits. Also no idea who this "Kim" girl is that Brenda warned me about. Needless to say, these little bits of attention have been amusing for me and annoying for Laurie. Poor Laurie.
    The last night shift I worked was tough. We had to close "early" due to a lack of supplies, which I attributed to a long, busy day. I hope my co-worker and I haven't been canned, as we had enough on our plate that night without the extra tasks assigned to us by the manager. 9 hours + 1 ½ hours = one goddamn long shift. Too long.

    So Laurie and I went camping at Lone Pine in Penobsquis yesterday. Things were going great, with tasty veggie burgers grilled over our toasty fire and nice weather for most of the day. Alas, when trying to sleep that night, we realized we had made the grave error of placing our tent upon exposed tree roots, which was none too comfortable for us as you can imagine. Awaking at about 5:30 am, we moved the tent forward a bit, to see just how prominent these roots were. That gave us a hard-earned and hearty laugh. Another nuisance was the leaking tent and the overall dampness of the air.

    N.P.: "Metal Dance" - SPK

    I've been absent from cyberspace for a while as my computer had ailments that had annoyed me long enough. Seems however that once I get it back from the shop (sometimes after a long wait), there are a few new annoyances to be found. Like someone updating to Media Player 7 when your preference is for 6.4, or installing Quicktime when you simply can't stand that particular program, or a memory test that makes for 2 more minutes of boot time.
    But anyway, at least my baby is back now, and I only wish I could remember all the things I wanted to add to this here website while she was away... nnndammit!

    Looks like a certain someone discovered a certain phenomenon known as beer goggles not too long ago. Yes, alcohol makes ladies more apt to hit on you. Yes, those same floozies bouncing on your lap on Saturday night will most likely ignore you completely in the sober light of day. Belated realization of these facts can lead to the bruising of an over-inflated ego.
    Never having really patronized a bar or pub for very long, and having had little luck with women of any kind, I would be immediately suspicious of any lady coming on to me. I would either assume that a) they're intoxicated out of their minds, or b) they're just desperate ladies of ill repute. Once a is ruled out, b is the only plausible conclusion that can be drawn.

k brmy pss qrr tsrh vvzw evimqvwrr dik acb cmw iiyf nlyv cmcu sijqk

2003/07/23 12:57 am:
    Busy busy busy.
    Had my first bitchy customer today at work. What a pissy, ill-tempered, horse-faced twat. Something must be wrong with her personal life that she couldn't put on a more polite facade for five goddamn minutes. One the opposite side of the spectrum, I received a nice tip from a chap I believe was muslim.

    Laurie wonders what kind of people sit around and argue certain philosophical points. I'm wondering what kind of people give a rat's ass about Big Brother and other stupid tv shows.

    Did I mention I've moved in to Laurie's? My computer and most of my clothes are here, and that's what counts. Now I can flee to my computer room when Laurie's watching America's Most Annoying Twats or some such show.

    N.P.: "Godstar '94" - Psychic TV"

    EEEEOOUUURRRRRRRR!!!!!!

    The sad thing is, guys like this seem to have no problem getting what they want. The song is still hilarious though.

    Being a nerd who can't fully abandon his childhood, I've perched my old Aura Battler Dunbine action figure on my desk. As an action figure, Dunbine was cooler than Voltron, for sure.

    I met Cameron Stewart years ago in Toronto. A friend of my cousin Andrew, he was a real comics buff with a good degree of artistic talent (maybe not as much as that guy Vanessa knows whose sketches blew me away, heh, but that's another tangent). I remember chatting a bit with him during my stay there. Perhaps best of all I remember playing Golden Axe, on his Sega Genesis.
    Anyway, the last time I was filled in on his status he was working for DC Comics. Recently I learned he's done a lot of work on The New Catwoman. Good to see at least someone I've met is making a living at something they love to do. Way to go, Cam! (ya lucky bastard!)

    N.P.: "Satana" - Nuvola Neshua (Christus Hephaestus, I love this song!)

2003/07/10 1:24 am:
    Let's just say being on my feet 8-9 hours a day isn't what I consider an ideal workplace scenario. At least Jason is a cool guy to work with, especially when things are busy, but he'll only be here until Monday, on to better things.
    "WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!!!"

    I'll stick with it a little longer, until I too can find a place of employment not quite so hostile to my psyche. If there is a god, he owes me for many years of disbelief.

    My friend Gary has an online journal here. Hey Gary, how come you didn't tell me sooner? You and your secrets...

    Hey Gimpor, your lady might want to take a gander at this

    Yeah, I like boobs, screw you.

2003/07/07 5:07 pm:
    He who dies with the most toys has more people dancing on his grave.

2003/07/05 9:02 pm:
    My feet, my poor, aching feet! The money better be worth it!

2003/06/27 8:36 pm:

2003/06/26 2:12 am:
    Haven't felt like updating anything much lately. Stuff going on these days.

    Mr. DeJong, I attempted emailing you several times, but I got messages back from the mail administrator claiming that my "host is blacklisted by list.dsbl.org. No mail will be accepted". Sucks arse. I had big ol' responses written up and everything!
    My apologies also to anyone else I should be emailing but have been too lazy to.

    Some time before I knew who/what Trogdor was, I saw him in this episode of 8-bit Theater. What's the point of this? Well, nothing really.

    I want this kind of superheroine guarding my fair city in times of estre... er, DIStress.

    I think this image expresses the American/Canadian comraderie in a way that is both telling and buxom. Can't beat that!

2003/06/17 7:10 pm:
    In case you were wondering what the cover of the best CD on the planet is, there you go. The King Record Company's Gamelan Music of Bali has been more or less my all time favourite album for about eight years now. No Sgt. Pepper, Dark Side of the Moon or Never Mind the Bollocks... for me, thank you. All this time the rhythmic and melodic masterpieces contained herein (especially the divine "Paksi Ngelayang") have provided me with a sort of aesthetic sustenance, an aural ambrosia as it were, unequalled by any other single disc (with perhaps Ywa Sa Sein Chit Ti's hsaing performances a runner-up).

    Now for chess sets a-plenty!

Above is a pictographic Ultima set which I made in April and early May.

The above set was fashioned by Laurie and I out of various wooden bits we bought from a craft store. Using a Victorinox Swiss army knife saw to make the rook's parapets was the most laborious part, seeing as how I did not have the benefit of any sort of vice. The kings are crowned with a star, the Queens with a heart.

Above are Omega chess pieces fashioned out of clay by RoB Patey. He has since put the project on hiatus, alas. In emails to me he expressed the difficulty in making a satisfactory Queen. A pity, seeing how nice and coppery these pieces turned out.

2003/06/03 6:31 pm:
    Finished Final Fantasy VII last night, almost a year after starting it, maybe more, I can't remember. Heh, Tifa has real horrorshow groodies. No wonder she's been in so much hentai!

    Also last night, I taped part of an interview with thereminist Peter Pringle, whom Gary interviewed for the last issue of Nightwaves. I heard a bit of his playing, and lemme tell ya, he's good!

    A few days ago I received an email from Jim Cochell of Trans Atlantic Crush, who sounded glad to read of my enjoyment of the TAC song "Lies". What's not to like? Groany bassline, check! Lyrics about embittering deceit, check!

2003/05/29 4:17 am:
    Goal two was not in vain...
    It's good when something isn't futile for a change.

    Okay, so there's an election coming. Aside from a few mentions of it here and there, the only way I really knew was the crop of garish campaign signs sprouting all about the city here and there. Let me take this opportunity to say I am completely uninformed on the subject of provincial politics. That said, it seems every time such an event rolls around, there's quite a few righteous fingerwaggers who come out of the woodwork to shame folk such as myself who don't know, and don't care to invest the time to learn, what each party is all about.
    Perhaps the responsible thing for us ignorant folk to do is not vote. After all, "He who does not know and knows he does not know is wise indeed". However, the informed and righteous tend to pressure us to vote, with or without a thorough understanding of who or what we may be voting for. I still believe no vote can be a responsible option, even if I know something of certain parties. After all, who, if not polticians, have been known to be deceptive, or make empty promises? And what if the only parties that turn out year to year are the same ol' gang that have each had their chance to disappoint the public? Is voting for a minutely lesser evil that important? If so, how can we determine the lesser evil?
    Perhaps when I make my way to the polls I'll take an indeterminate approach to democracy. I wonder where I put those D & D dice?

4:31 pm:
    I forgot to mention that the wall behind the Irving on the west side collapsed in on the neighbours' backyard again. I heard it crumble while I was in the bathroom.

    N.P.: "Persepolis" - Iannis Xenakis

2003/05/25 2:57 am:

Well, it's official...

5:32 pm:
    I can't stand these buttmunches on file sharing software who are super pricky about who gets to download off of them. Snobs with 160Gb hard drives who won't let you get a single Kb if you only have a few movies are pricky. Not everyone has a large hard drive, and I for one have other things I use my computer for. Also annoying are folk who maintain you don't have any files of a certain type, just because they don't know how to browse and sort your files properly, cancelling and ignoring you (cough ONLY_ITALO811_52073 cough). Personally, as long as you share anything that isn't just media associated with programs installed on your computer, or don't have a username I find personally offensive (WhiteAndProud, BOMBIRAQIS, etc...) you're free to download. Sometimes I won't even care if you've got nothiing to share. I mean, I do have a life outside screening every single person that downloads from me.
    One thing I really love about file sharing, however, is when people unwittingly download "Skakira_Dancemix.mp3", or "FaithHill_Cry.mp3", little suspecting that what awaits them is The Infant Cycle's "Dancemix". WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's a shame ONLY_ITALO811_52073 never got to peruse my collection...

    N.P.: "Gimme Gimme Gimme" - Kitty Smack

2003/05/22 3:49:
    I really can't think of a good reason why anyone would want a Mozilla splash screen featuring yours truly, but if you've got Mozilla and aren't averse to seeing my mug glaring to the right of your screen each time you start it up, here it is. You may need to right-click that link and select Save Target Link As. Once saved, just convert this PNG into a bitmap, rename it mozilla.bmp, and place it in your Mozilla directory. It looks cooler if you've got your Windows settings on High Contrast White like me.
    Yeah, I like using Mozilla. Mr. Wilson says it's more secure than Microsoft's Internet Explorer (not hard to believe), and there's all sorts of things you can do in it that you can't in IE. For example, I'm using the Microzilla 1.3 theme featuring a more customizable and compact appearance, my advanced settings defeat many a popup ad, I've set my middle mouse button to open links in a new tab, and using Millennium Software's Tab Downloader I can save multiple images (i.e. pornographic ones) with great celerity. One caveat for Mozilla is that downloading and saving can be a very slow process, at least on my computer.
    Another bit of useful software I've recently discovered is Rename Master (unfortunately Vibe is down webwise at the moment and I can't retrieve the link for you, but I'm sure you can find the program by searching for it in Google). It allows you to rename multiple files in a variety of ways, from inserting new alphanumeric characters to either the name or extension, or by replacing or removing characters according to flexible user specifications. Did I mention this program is freeware? Ahh!
    Again, this tool makes itself useful for compulsive smut-hounds like myself, but I can see it easily having other applications, like inserting names and dates into a mass of digital photographs. Personally, I always try to include the date the photo was taken in the filename, both for historical reference and to differentiate the file from others of the same subject, which goes before the date. Also, one might find Rename Master quite handy for naming MP3's and Ogg Vorbis files.

    I would love to use Ogg Vorbis more, I really would. In general it produces files that are smaller and sound better than MP3's. The reasons I don't use it more often are as folows; limited hardware support. Many DVD players and portable digital music devices simply won't read them, so if you want to hear your Vorbis tunes anywhere other than your computer, you're screwed; prominent encoders do not support lower bitrates. Why would I want lower bitrates? To save bandwidth and memory on my stingy (though free) webserver perhaps?; naming them is a pain in the ass. I had to use a seperate utility, VCE, to put entries for artist and song title in the files so that I don't have to see the ugly full path of the .ogg file in Winamp. Mind you, I haven't gotten a new copy of Winamp in a while, perhaps that bit has changed...
    But for unique content where I didn't want to compromise sound quality, I used to go with Vorbis faithfully, as past visitors to my Music page may have seen. I also used to use Vorbis for digitized vinyl and K7 recordings. Alas, if I wanted to burn these to audio CD or play them in a hardware player without Vorbis support, I'd have to convert to WAV or MP3. I must confess that lately such recordings have been converted to variable bitrate MP3's with a range of 128Kbps to 192 Kbps.

    Last night, I cooked up some curry for Laurie and I. I always enjoy these curries, and for once someone else does too. I've got to love my lady, if only for her appreciation of my cooking, heh heh, and other things...
    This particular curry conatined the follwing ingredients: onions, carrots, tomatoes, green pepper, zuchinni, chick peas, tofu marinated in soy sauce, garlic, broccoli, tumeric, cumin, chili powder, ground pepper, Patak's curry paste, cream of mushroom soup, and jasmine rice. Is this getting Pavlovian yet?

    I very much enjoy that Negativland "U2" song which features Casey Kasem swearing like a sailor with his nuts on fire. ZOIKS!

    N.P.: "Ectoplasm 2" - Poltergeist

2:41 pm:
    The web is working for me again, so here's the link to Jackass Joe Joe's Rename Master.

    At Gary Flanagan's May 18th show, Christian informed me that he figured it was probably Dave Arthurs who put the Hoda & company pics on the station computers' backgrounds. I am certain, however, that Mike Wilson is behind the Evil Eddie wallpaper on one of the office computers. Whether Eddie makes Wren feel inadequate, nobody knows...

2003/05/15 500 am:
    At last, my Promars has been returned to me! This calls for a Sexy Commando screencap!

I feel like dancin'!

    Rumour has it Wren Crandall mistook Masaru-san for a woman, and was going to complain to the higher-ups at CFMH for his feminine likeness being pasted on the computer's wallpaper. Any truth to this? Apparently there were past complaints about Mike Wilson putting pics of Hoda and other Arabic ladies on the wallpaper. I can see the point of that if you're insecure and compare yourself to everyone you see in every context all the time, but any outrage over a cartoon effeminate man would be ridiculous, and rightly so!
    Speaking of CFMH, you can download the promo for my show for a limited time on my Ephemeral Goodies page. Again, you can also click on the eye to the upper-left corner of this page to get there. Some folk don't pay much attention to their mouse-overs, heh.

    N.P.: "Rock Saddam Hussein's Ass" - Wesley Willis
    Heh, the Sepos are gonna have to deal with him all over again, or pretend to until that national amnesia kicks in again.
    "I don't know why we didn't get rid of him the last two times!"

    Current diet deficient in iron, must increase intake of peas and raisins.

    Been feeling a bit down lately. Whenever I try to put my finger on something specific, things get too complicated, like trying to know where an electron is at any given time. One thing I know is that it feels like a little part of me is locked up, and it's diminishing the person I could be. I don't know.

2003/05/13 6:08 pm:
    "Uncritical rejection of all theory because it is incomplete and wrong on occasion is foolish and harmful; intelligent criticism of standard material, no matter how long it has been accepted, is sensible and wholesome."

    - International Grandmaster Reuben Fine, Ideas Behind the Chess Openings

    I stole this from a post of mine at Kelly Marino's LiveJournal, and I hope it illustrates to all of you what an egg-cellent band Sparks are:

Pick a band and answer only using their song titles: Sparks

1. Are you male or female?: Big Boy
2. Describe yourself: More Than a Sex Machine
3. How do some people feel about you?: Funny Face
4. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Tits
5. How do you feel about yourself?: Looks Looks Looks
6. Where would you rather be?: Sextown, USA
7. Describe what you want to be: #1 in Heaven
8. Describe how you live: La Dolce Vita
9. Describe how you love: Without Using Hands
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth

    I should note most of tbese are intended to be funny rather than accurate. I'm not a "Big Boy", or "More Than a Sex Machine" (I don't qualify as just a sex machine, sigh), I don't rely on "Looks Looks Looks, nor do I really live "La Dolce Vita".

    Awww!!!

    I've seen many a Breakout-style game in my day, but Baku Block has a certain something...

    I hope Mr. Pearson brings my Roland Promars this time.

9:28 pm:

"Listen to my heartbeat
'cause it won't be long..."

2003/05/07 11:35 pm:

    I hate the beautiful people! Are you beautiful? I hate you!

    Alex Pearson was by today, but my Roland Promars was not. :-(
I know you're holding her ransom, Peer-son!

    Not more than an hour ago I got my ears on Danny Kaye's performance of "Inchworm". My motivation for getting this track featured in the 1953 film Hans Christian Anderson was a little unusual: the same song was featured in a documentary about Eric Drexler's Engines of Creation. The children's chorus was especially appropriate as a background for microscopic assemblers multiplying at an exponential rate. I thought it quite nifty.
    I'll say it again: God, I'm a nerd.

    So I'm writing back to Kirk in Malaysia:

    "Petronas Towers would be awesome to see, but not as awesome as you and me going to Ottawa to see Tiffany Towers!"

    The other night, Laurie and I pondered why we are boring. I'm not totally sure of the answers, but I think in her view a lot of my part of it has to do with the fact that over years of being friendless I've learned to pursue my own interests, without a thought of entertaining others. Also, there are some pursuits I have that others may find interesting but I don't share with her because it seems the sort of thing which might bore her, or worse still, be a cause for derision. I may indeed be boring, but left to my own devices, I don't have to be bored.
    I would be bored and, in my opinion, boring, if my pastimes included weekend shopping sprees in other cities, barhopping, pointing out "hot" people wherever I went, listening to generic Top 40 music and watching American Idol. So I guess "boring" is relative.

2003/05/06 9:15pm:

I wouldn't be such a mystery if you just paid attention...

    In the last year I've had a list of personal goals. One I achieved last fall, the second just last month. A third will await me this weekend so that I might go on to the fourth. After that I have a fifth, the prospect of which is none too pleasant for me. This fall there will be a sixth and a seventh, both of which may end up disastrous failures. Egads!
    Things that are natural and normal for others can be a source of dread and difficulty for me.

    Last night I came home to find the last coat of polyurethane had dried on an Ultima set that I made recently. I chose to use the headache-inducing colour combination of ultra blue and fire red, to further distinguish this variant from conventional chess. No pics, alas, since my damn computer refuses to work with my camera, and the home network is defunct. Anyway, I'm eager to play a game of Ultima for the first time...

    Andrew Duke has mentioned myself, Gary Flanagan, and other Saint John electronic musicians in an article for U.S.-based magazine e|i. 'Tis a pity I shan't see the final issue!

    My friend Kirk is far away in Malaysia now. From a brief email it sounds like there have been many sights to see there and on the way. Meanwhile his girlfirend must be missing him. I hope for her sake he isn't "mingling" with the locals, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

    Don't forget to vote for Vinnie (Laurie's kitten) here and here.

    Nothing has changed in my love of Japanese Flash artwork.

Tan-Nee: "Man, you totally look liek Billy Corgan!"

Me: "ARGGGGHHH!"

    And once all the singing and voting is over, the new American Idol will go on to record albums I will have absolutely no interest in listening to, much less buying.

    "You had your chance!" she said. But did I really?