Author: Pete Milan
"So lemme see if I've got this straight," Anya said. They sat at the bar in the Bronze, watching couples move across the dance floor, including Willow and Tara. On stage, the band was going through a fast tune called "Ocean." "So you grab her in the middle of a crowded street. You give her the kiss of a lifetime, and you tell her that all you want is to be with her."
"Uh huh," Xander said, sipping his Coke.
"But then, you tell her to pursue this Tara thing."
"That's right."
"Because you think it'd be good for her, and you recognize that she has feelings for Tara, and you don't want her to wonder 'what if' for the rest of her life."
"This is what I said."
"Wow," Anya said.
"Yup."
"You're an idiot."
"Yes, I am," Xander agreed, watching Willow and Tara dancing.
"I mean, it's a noble sort of idiocy, but it's idiocy nevertheless," Anya said.
"What the hell was I thinking?!" Xander said, turning to Anya. "I mean...what the hell was I thinking?! I'm not actually that stupid, am I? I can't be! That was, like, special effort stupid! Extra credit stupid!" He gestured towards the two witches. "That could be me out there!"
"I don't think you'd fit into the skirt," Anya said. Xander glared at her; she shrugged. "Look, if you had it to do again, what would you do differently?"
"I..." He sighed. "That's the worst part. There's nothing to do differently."
"You could have just tried to win her for yourself."
"But then I destroy the whole Willow-Tara dynamic. At least this way, the only one who ends up getting hurt is me. All I can do is hope that this thing plays itself out. Quickly."
Anya smiled and patted him on the side of the face.
"You're a very noble idiot, Xander," she said.
"Great. That and three bucks will get me a tall latte."
The song ended, and Willow and Tara joined them at the bar.
"Hey!" Willow said. "How come you're not dancing?"
"Oh, I couldn't," Xander said. "Today at work, I pulled my...uh...clavicle. Or something." He nodded to Tara. "Hey."
"Hey there," she replied. Your basic uncomfortable silence settled over the group.
"Uh, I should probably get going," Tara finally said. "Willow?"
"I'll meet up with you later. We're waiting for Buffy to show."
"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll see you later." She gave Willow a kiss on the cheek and ducked away as fast as she could. Willow grinned.
"She's so shy, isn't she?" Willow asked.
"Uh huh," Xander grunted, taking a swig of his drink.
"Practically coy," Anya replied coldly. "I'm gonna get some air." She turned on her heel and walked away from them.
"Alone at last," Xander said. "So how's it going with whatsername?"
"Tara," Willow corrected, frowning at him, "and it's going fine. We performed the Ritual of Artemis earlier tonight."
"Is that the thing where the two of you are bent into kind of a Y-shape?" Xander asked. "I think I saw that on Cinemax once."
Willow rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"You're incorrgible," she said.
"But really, have you ever met anyone who was corrigible? I don't know anyone who was ever corridged. Although I may have seen that on Cinemax, too. But seriously, folks..."
"No. No seriously," Willow said, taking his hand. "I'd rather dance. We've all got enough seriously going on at the moment." She led him out onto the dance floor just as a slow song was beginning. She lay her head on his shoulder as they swayed in time to the music.
When you see her again
Tell her everything that you told me
"She's a little nervous," Willow finally said. "See, she's...you know...we're both kinda inexperienced as far as this stuff goes."
"Well, there's many fine videotapes down at the video store to show you what to do," Xander said, earning a smack in the arm.
"Pig."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I can either stew in my own juices or make tasteless jokes. It's up to you."
Tell her that you're still my friend
And maybe you would like to see me again
"Why would you be stewing?" Willow asked, looking up at him.
"No reason," Xander replied. "I'm just...you know...I forgot what it was like to feel like this."
I'm willing to wait my turn
To be with you
But I still have a lot to learn
About you
And no one's sure if we should be together
"Feel like what?" Willow asked.
"To see the person you want with someone else." Xander shrugged. "I know, I know. This was my idea. Don't worry. I'm cool."
"She's nervous around you," Willow said. "You didn't give her that whole 'You mess with Willow, I'll kick your ass' speech, did you?"
"Uh..."
"Xander!"
"It was just the short form."
But oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend
She opened up her heart and let me in
"Well, it was totally unnecessary. Things have been going really well. We're..." He could feel her hands move around at his back, trying to draw the word out of thin air. "...meshing."
"Is that some kind of lesbian term?" Another smack in the arm.
"Oh, shut up, you know what 'meshing' means!"
"Yeah, yeah..."
Oh, I cannot lie to you
I'm still in love with you
And I only wanna be with you
"So. Meshing, huh?"
"Yep. Meshing. Meshage."
"Glad to hear it."
She looked up into his eyes.
"Liar."
"I'm glad you're happy, Will."
So when you see her again
Tell her everything that you told me
We're more than friends
And maybe we should start again
Maybe you could love me again
"Are you?" Will asked. "Are you really?"
"Really." Xander looked away.
"Then what is it?"
"Nothing." He looked down into her eyes. "Nothing. I'm fine."
Cause oh, when I saw you again
A beautiful friend
She opened up her heart and let me in
Oh, I cannot lie to you
I'm still in love with you
And I only wanna be with you
"I'm, uh, I'm gonna go to Tara's," Willow said. "Call me if Buffy has something apocalyptic to deal with, okay?"
"Sure," Xander said, watching as she walked away.
I only wanna be with you
Sighing, Xander walked to the bar and took a seat next to Anya.
"Very noble," Anya said. "And very idiotic."
"Ah, shaddap."