Author: Pete Milan
This story is dedicated to Laura Smith, because it's all her fault.
*************
He'd made up his mind. The worst part of working as a male stripper wasn't displaying yourself as a piece of meat. It wasn't the humiliation of having middle-aged housewives sticking dollar bills into the single scrap of clothing you were allowed. It wasn't even the occasional grope by some overanxious Betty.
No, the worst part was the music.
It seemed like every other guy who worked at the Stable had the most horrifying taste in music he'd ever encountered. Club music. Sweet mother of Gandhi. If he never heard "Genie In A Bottle" again, he could die...well, maybe not a happy man, but at least a man whose ears didn't hurt.
He unlocked the door to El Casa De Scooby, stepped inside, and immediately tripped over a coatrack.
The room was dark except for the glow of the TV. Buffy, Willow and Tara were seated in the living room, watching with rapt attention, bathed in the ever-shifting light of the screen.
"Evening," he said, getting to his feet. "What's--"
"Ssssshhhhh!" They shushed him in unison. Puzzled, he came around and looked.
"Did you ever have one of those days you wish you could live all over again?" the girl on the screen was saying. Then, a song came up in the background...
"Oh, dear God," Xander moaned. "Dawson's Creek? This is what you people do while I'm at work?"
"Well, actually, we just got back from a fight with this coven over on Spelling Ave," Willow said. "I hate evil witches. They give us good witches a bad name."
"You don't like this show?" Tara asked.
"No," Xander said, crashing onto the couch.
"Why not?"
"Um...because I'm a guy," Xander said, explaining slowly, as Tara was apparently too dense to grasp this concept.
"Well, that argument might make sense if I hadn't caught you down here last Saturday night crying over the end of The Cutting Edge," Tara replied.
"I was deeply moved," Xander muttered.
"It's true," Willow said. "You should have seen it with him in a theater. Anyway, Xander, do you have any actual reasons for not liking this show?"
"General principle. It's all about these perfect, pretty little kids who are so obsessed with the minutae of their daily lives that they have no idea what's going on in the outside world," Xander groused. "Plus, they're in high school and they're having sex. That's just not fair."
"Someone's missing their demon," Buffy remarked.
"Oh, someone's really not," Xander replied. "That deranged sea hag hasn't called, she hasn't sent a postcard, e-mail, carrier pigeon, nothing! She's probably off gallavanting with some Cape Cod surf dude..."
Willow briefly thought of reminding him that he'd moved recently and he didn't have e-mail. Then she came to her senses.
"Why is this on now anyway?" Xander continued. "It's like one o'clock in the morning!"
"It's on tape," Buffy said. "Between studies and slayage, I never get to catch my favorite shows, so this year I started tapin' 'em."
"You worry me."
"Xander, have you ever actually watched this show?" Willow asked.
"No," he finally admitted. "But I've never bashed myself in the head with a hammer, and I know I don't like that."
"You have bashed yourself in the head with a hammer. I saw you do it when we were eight."
"I did? I don't remember that." He thought for a moment. "Actually, a lot of details from that year are kinda fuzzy..."
"If you're quite done, could I unpause this, please?" Buffy asked. "Thank you..."
Xander lay his head back on the couch. He didn't want to get up just yet. His legs ached; shaking one's money maker all night is hard on a man. Instead, he watched the television from under sleepy eyes.
***
Fifty or so minutes later, Buffy was looking angry. Willow was sniffling, and Tara was wiping away tears.
Xander was just confused.
"Um..." He raised his hand. "Okay, question?"
"What is it?" Willow asked just before blowing her nose.
"Well...as I understand it, Dawson asked Pacey to keep an eye on Joey, right?"
"Uh huh."
"But he and Joey weren't boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Right."
Xander blinked.
"Then what the hell is he throwing a hissy-fit over?!"
Tara looked at him as if he owned the thickest head in North America.
"He feels betrayed!" she said. "I mean, he--he asks his best friend to keep his soulmate safe from harm, and they start kissing on the sly!"
"That complete bastard," Buffy muttered. "Dawson sucks!"
"No, he doesn't!" Tara replied. "He's been stabbed in the back, of course he's going to be hurt!"
"Yeah, but Pacey and Joey are a much better couple than Dawson and Joey," Willow said. "Don't you think so?"
"Uh...I guess so, sure," Xander said. "I don't know. I'm still trying to get over the fact that his father was The Flash."
"I gotta go to bed," Willow said, standing up and stretching. "I'm opening the bookstore tomorrow. Coming?"
"Hmm?" It took him a second to realize she was talking to Tara.
"Yeah. G'night," Tara said, following Willow up the stairs.
"Pacey and Joey do make a cute couple," Buffy said. "And it's kind of cute the way they were trying to hide all the kissage."
"Yeah. Hilarious. Didn't bring up painful memories at all."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Nothing." He stood up. "Show takes place on Cape Cod, too. Go ahead, twist the knife..."
"You're muttering, Xander."
"Never mind. See you in the morning."
***
The moon hung low in the sky the next night. He walked home, feeling in desperate need of a shower. For the hundredth time, he thought about quitting...then he thought about the phenomenal sum of money he was pulling in. Tricky stuff, this living on your own...
He heard her coming a second before she clapped a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey," Buffy said. "How's it going?"
"Ah, you know. Life is an endless series of humiliations and dreams left unrealized. On the other hand, I've already got next month's rent..."
"It's not that bad, is it?" Buffy asked.
"I guess not," he admitted. "It's just...I never pictured this as my future."
She slung an arm around his shoulder affectionately.
"It's going to get better than this," she said. "Seriously."
"It better."
"Come on. Willow and Tara are waiting for us. Another fabulous night of Creekage awaits."
"Oh, hell no. I'm goin' to bed."
"You can't! Sit up with us a little while. We like tormenting you with girly shows."
Xander grunted in the negative.
"What was that you were saying last night?" Buffy asked. "About painful memories?"
"Nothing. Doesn't signify."
"Xander, if something's bugging you..."
"I...I just found that storyline a little too close for comfort."
Buffy blinked, confused.
"Too close to what?"
"What do you think? A guy, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, carries on passionate kisses in secret with the girl of his dreams. But when her significant other finds out about it, she drops dopey guy like a bad habit and goes back to her honey bunny immediately with barely a second glance."
Buffy looked at him, surprised.
"'The girl of your dreams?'" she asked.
"Don't start," Xander replied.
"She's the girl of your dreams?"
"Really not wanting to talk about it."
"Xander--" She circled around in front of him and stopped. "What are you saying?"
"I'm not saying anything. Never mind it."
"But--"
"Buffy, drop it," Xander said sharply. "Okay? She's with someone. I'm with someone. Technically. This doesn't mean anything."
"Just answer me one question," Buffy said.
"What?"
"How long have you felt like this?"
Xander looked at the ground, as if searching for the answer there.
"Too long," he said. "Long enough to know it wouldn't work." Before she could protest, Xander slipped around her and walked towards the house.
***
"Hey, guys," Willow said. She and Tara were snuggled together on the couch. "What kept you?"
"Just takin' the scenic route," Xander replied. "I love the way the moonlight falls on a freshly dug grave, you know?"
"Hey there," Buffy said, walking past Xander. "To be continued," she whispered as she passed.
"So, Xander, ready for another night of turgid angst?" Willow asked, a wicked grin on her face.
"Will, my life is a non-stop night of turgid angst." He thought. "I think. What's turgid mean?"
"Pretentious and self-important," Tara said.
"Oh. Then my life is a non-stop night of actual angst."
"Well, come enjoy the angst of others for a bit," Willow said, patting a spot on the other side of the couch. "It'll be a nice break from your own."
That's what you think, he thought as he sat down.
***
Xander was hooting with laughter as on the screen, Pacey tossed a sign reading "True Love" into the water. A moment later, it was brought back to him by his ex-girlfriend.
"Ssshhh!" Tara ssshhhed.
"I'm sorry, I'm just not quite grasping the symbolism here," Xander said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "If only they could simplify it..."
"Don't you have any romance in your soul?" Willow asked.
He smiled, doing his best impression of a man who didn't just have a dozen or so arrows thud into his heart.
"Hey, I'm a very romantic guy," he said.
"So Anya tells us."
"Yeah, well, my definition of romance doesn't involve nearly crashing two boats in order to prove myself to a woman. I'm more the candy and flowers type."
"Dawson sucks," Buffy growled.
"Ssshhh! New scene!"
They watched as Joey crawled into Dawson's room. They spoke briefly, then Joey settled in on his bed to watch E.T.
The room was quiet for a long moment.
"Are you friggin' kidding me?!" Xander raged. "He--he tries and wreck his ex-best friend's boat, basically attempts murder in full view of the entire populace..."
"He sucks," Buffy repeated.
"Yeah, but it was a grand romantic--" Tara was cut off as Xander continued to rant.
"Meanwhile, Pacey is Quiet Understanding No-Pressure Guy, and, and she still ends up going back to Dawson?! Screw this show!"
"They're soulmates!" Willow said.
"Soulmates? He's--he's this manipulative little punkass! He's screwing with her head! You don't do that to a soulmate!"
"Hatred," Buffy snarled. "Major Dawson hatred."
"He's trying everything he can to hold on to the woman he loves," Tara said.
"Even if that includes breaking her heart in the process?" Xander asked.
"Love makes you do the wacky," Willow said softly.
"Wacky's one thing," Xander said. "This is closer to evil. That kid's in more dire need of a savage beating than almost anyone I ever met."
"So you can't relate to someone doing something inadvertently cruel in the name of love?" Willow asked.
Xander sought out her eyes in the TV's half-light.
"No, I think we've all had things like that blow up in our faces," he replied.
"True enough," Willow replied.
"My point is, you can't make someone love you by hurting someone else. It doesn't work." He stood up. "Anyone need a drink? Snacks? After-rant mint?"
"I gotta get some sleep," Tara said.
"Yeah, me too," Willow added. Buffy shook her head no.
"G'night," Xander said, and headed into the kitchen as fast as he could.
***
She found him at the kitchen table, poking his spoon through a half- finished bowl of cereal.
"So," Buffy said, taking a seat. "Identify much?"
"Don't start, Buffy."
"I don't have to. You're doing a good enough job."
"There is nothing between me and Willow. Okay? Nothing. Bupkiss. Goose egg. Snake eyes. Othing-nay."
"Hey, if you keep repeating it, it might eventually come true," Buffy said, smiling.
"Are you actually enjoying this?"
"A little, yeah. I was wondering how long it'd take for you to remember Willow once Anya went away."
"Anya's coming back," Xander said. "She's my girlfriend. And I...she loves me."
"One cannot help but notice that you didn't say 'I love her.'"
"One should mind her own business," Xander muttered.
"You guys are my business."
"Buffy, there are a million reasons why there is nothing between Willow and me, and I'm not interested in discussing any of them." He got up and tossed his bowl in the sink. "I'm going to bed."
"Xander?"
"What?"
"There's a million reasons why there should be something between you and Willow," she said seriously. "I know, because I've heard them all from the two of you over the years."
"Good night, Buffy," Xander said, walking out.
***
Xander felt the bag in his hands. Ahhhh. New Comics Day. He'd say this for stripping, at least it let him get caught up on his reading. His bills were paid, his food was in the fridge, and he'd had enough cash for a fairly serious spree at the comic shop. He walked into the house and immediately collapsed onto the couch.
"Don't do that," Willow called out from the kitchen.
"Do what?"
"Plop onto the couch."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, spreading the comics out on the coffee table.
"I can hear the springs scream in agony every time you do that."
"Yes, Mom."
"Hey," she said, appearing at the door to the kitchen. "Are you gonna be home for dinner? I'm trying out a new seafood sort of dish."
"Sounds fishy," he said with a grin. "I'll be here. Got the night off."
"From your mysterious employment."
"Yes, that's right."
"About which you refuse to tell us."
"Uh huh."
"Xander," she said, looking worried. "You'd tell me if you were a henchman for a criminal organization, right?"
He had to smile at the utter seriousness with which she asked that question.
"Will, trust me. It's fine. Suffice it to say that I'm doing something completely legal, but socially unacceptable and embarassing."
"Like the phone-sex line."
"Not quite," he said, though that had come uncomfortably close to the mark.
"You know, I'm sure I could get you a few shifts at the bookstore," she continued. "We can work around your whole alphabetization problem."
"Thanks, but...I'm fine where I am for now."
"Okay," she said. Then she noticed the comics. "New ones?"
"Yep."
"Didja get..."
Xander held up the latest issue of Strangers in Paradise.
"Who do you love?" he said, standing up, holding it out of reach.
"You know who," she replied, taking a little leap at the comic.
"Come on, tell me."
She smirked and tickled him under the arm. He lost his grip on the comic, and it fell into her waiting grasp.
"Creases," he said, laughing. "Foiled again."
She laughed as well, then gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"You know who," she repeated. "Thanks."
"No problem," Xander replied, doing his best to hide the sudden flush in his cheeks, his increased heart rate, and all the other things that happened to him whenever Willow kissed him. "I've been trying to get you hooked on those things since we were kids."
"Well, you should have tried one like this," Willow said, walking back into the kitchen. "No goofy costumes, no super villains, just actual people."
"Yeah." Of course, the plot of Strangers in Paradise was a romance between a woman who was in love with both her best female friend and a guy...
Identify much?
He heard a small meow from behind him and turned to see the as-yet- unnamed kitten clawing at the corner of the latest issue of Preacher.
"Hey!" he barked. He picked the kitten up and glared at it. "Do you mind? That's sequential art you're trying to do your business on."
The kitten meowed unconcernedly.
"Don't torment the kitten," Willow called out from the kitchen.
"The kitten's tormenting me!"
"Well, you probably did something to deserve it."
"Thanks, Will."
***
"Great dinner, Will!" Buffy said as she plopped onto the couch.
"Don't do that!" Willow replied. "You're gonna break it!"
"Will, we're allowed to plop on our own furniture. It's okay. No one's gonna yell at us." She looked down at the scampering kitten and scratched its stomach. "Got a name for this thing yet?"
"No," Tara said sadly. "Nothing seems quite right, yet. Maybe we ought to just called her Miss Kit--"
"You're not calling this thing Miss Kitty Fantastico," Buffy said gravely. "No offense, kitten, but I refuse to live in the same house as a Miss Kitty Fantastico, Lady Meowsalot, or Grizabella."
"How about 'Catty McScratchingpost?'" Xander asked.
"Hell no." Buffy shrugged. "It's a quirk."
"So what now?" Xander asked. "Anybody wanna play a game? Candy Land? Chutes and Ladders? Mah-Jongg?"
Buffy smirked and crouched by the TV, turning on the VCR.
"Oh, come on, I beg of you..."
"Admit it," Willow said. "You want to know what happens."
"Yeah. I wanna see if Dawson actually draws blood this time around. Look, aren't there vampires we could be slaying?"
"Nope," Buffy replied. "Besides, it's still light out."
"We should call Giles," Xander said desperately. "He must be lonely. Really lonely. Let's go over there and talk with him."
"Actually, we all went to brunch with him this morning," Tara said. "We tried to wake you."
Xander hung his head in defeat and sank into a chair.
"Fine," he muttered. "Let the pain begin."
"You know," Willow said with an arched eyebrow, "You could just go up to your room and ignore us."
"And deprive you of my incoherent rage once this latest opus from the brilliant mind that brought us Scream is finished? Wouldn't dream of it." He finally gave her a genuine smile. "Besides, you guys'll be off learning again in no time. I gotta get in as much Willow-time as I can."
He could swear she blushed at that...then he realized how quiet the room had become.
"And Buffy-time," he hastily added. "And I'm certainly enjoying Tara- time. I'd recommend it to my friends."
"Well, th-thanks," Tara said. She looked at Willow, a confused smile on her face. "He's a funny little creature, isn't he?"
"You could say that," Willow replied.
"All right, enough bantering," Buffy said, taking a seat on the floor. "Here we go..."
***
"Have you told her how you feel?"
On the screen, Andie--Pacey's ex, he'd managed to figure out--was talking with Pacey.
"Andie, she already knows how I feel," Pacey replied.
"I mean, have you really told her, Pacey?"
Pacey's expression seemed to indicate the opposite. Buffy turned to Xander and gave him her Knowing Look (patent pending).
"You can't just leave without letting her know. I mean, that-- that's not like you," Andie was saying. "You just don't just stand and let things happen and you don't run away either. You have to tell her that you love her."
Knowing Look with Arched Eyebrow now. Xander rolled his eyes as best he could, but it wasn't terribly convincing. Andie was tearing up now.
"And you have to try to get her back...because if you don't, I promise you, you will regret it."
"Maybe," Pacey replied.
"No, Pacey. You will."
Xander rubbed his eyes tiredly, the better to avoid another piercing glance.
***
The TV switched off, and all eyes turned to Xander.
"Well?" Willow asked, bracing for the next rant.
"Okay," Xander said carefully. "Two things. One...is it me, or did Jack's date look disconcertingly like Parker?"
"See?" Willow asked Buffy. "He thinks so too. Pay up."
Grumbling, Buffy reached into her pocket and handed Willow a five dollar bill.
"And the second part?" Tara asked.
"Is this kid the son of the devil?!" Xander exploded.
"No, he's the son of the Flash," Willow replied.
"He, he, he..."
"He sucks more than anyone has ever sucked?" Buffy asked.
"He sees his date dancing with another guy, right? No one's made any commitments to anyone yet, she hasn't decided what she wants, and...okay, first of all, the only reason he was throwing this prom was...and...he throws that incredible spaz attack and..." He faltered. "I got nothing. I don't know why she would entertain the notion of dating that control freak. And I really don't understand why Pacey doesn't just feed him his teeth."
"Because he realizes he's hurt his best friend and doesn't want to compound the pain," Tara said.
"Bah," Xander muttered. "I swear, I wanna slap this show so hard..."
"I felt sorry for Henry," Willow said.
"Yeah, well, Henry's kind of a dolt, Will," Buffy said.
"I know, but he means well. That counts for a lot."
"Uh huh. Well, I should go patrol. Xander, you wanna come unleash your frustrations on the undead?" The look in Buffy's eyes sent a clear signal; follow me.
"Yeah. Sure." Xander got up, his back popping. "Howzabout you, Lash LaRue? Staying in for the night?"
"Yeah, we've got this new spell we want to try," Willow said. "Full body levitation!"
"W-we think it's levitation," Tara added. "It mighta been transportation."
"Either way, it'll be interesting," Willow finished.
***
"So what do you figure the chances are of the house still being there when we get back?" Xander asked as they headed for the graveyard.
"Higher than the chances of you avoiding what I want to talk about," Buffy replied.
"Buffy...I really do not want to talk about this. I don't want to think about it. I want to ignore it until it goes away, as it invariably does."
"It doesn't, though, does it?" Buffy asked. They crossed the gates of the cemetary. "I mean, you think you've finally managed to bury it. But then, before you know it, it comes clawing its way to the surface..."
They looked around. The graves were quiet.
"Huh," Xander murmured. "You know, according to the laws of irony and comedy, we really should have been attacked by now..."
"Yeah yeah yeah. Don't change the subject. Look, I'm in love with Riley, right? I love him, he loves me. But..." She hesitated. "Every time I see a claddagh ring, I remember that there's someone else I love. And that's never going to go away.
"I can never be with him, and I've accepted that. But you and Willow...I mean, that should be the easiest thing in the world, Xander."
Xander sighed, doing his best to look bored.
"Tell me you're not in love with her."
"I'm not in love with her."
"Uh uh. Look in my eyes and tell me that."
Xander walked up to Buffy and glared right into her eyes.
"I am not in love with Willow Rosenberg," he said.
Buffy searched his eyes carefully, then made her pronouncement.
"You lying sack of shit."
"ARRRRGH!" Xander stumbled away, fingers in his hair. "Dammit dammit dammit!"
"I don't think you'd pass a polygraph either," Buffy said.
"This isn't funny."
"You're right, Xander, it's not funny. My two best friends are perfect for each other and after almost four years, they still haven't managed to get it together. That's not funny, it's tragic."
"There's also something you're leaving out," Xander said. "She's in love with someone else. Who is a woman. Kind of an obstacle, no?"
"You could get her back."
"I don't want to get her back."
"Why the hell not?!"
"You want reasons?" Xander said angrily. "Fine. Let's start with the obvious. One: I'm a moron with no future who makes ends meet as a male stripper."
"You are not a moron," Buffy said. "You've got a future. And...actually, I can see her kinda digging the stripping thing."
"Oh, for cryin' out loud...fine. Next reason: Simple genetics tells me that I will probably eventually become an abusive alcoholic scumbag."
"What?!" Buffy laughed. "Please. First of all, I've never seen you drink anything stronger than beer. And you couldn't raise a hand to Willow if your life depended on it. You're gonna have to do better than that."
"I can do better than that," Xander said with a kind of vicious confidence. "How about this? If I were to go to her with some idiotic proclamation of love, I would only be hurting her by driving a wedge between her and her girlfriend. Sub-reason: Her girlfriend, while we're still getting used to her, is basically a sweetie and doesn't deserve that."
"That..." Buffy considered. "Okay, that one's legitimate. I'll give you that one."
"Fine. Can we go kill something now, please?"
"It doesn't look like there's anything to kill," Buffy said. "Except time."
Xander sat on one of the headstones.
"I'm just...if there was a chance, Buff...but I can't, all right? I can't do it to myself. I can't do it to her. I'm not going to spill out my heart only to find that I've discovered some new and inventive way to hurt her. I'm tired of hurting her. I...you know, sometimes I wish I was someone else just so I could beat the shit out of myself."
"...what are you talking about?"
"Hindsight," he said. "I look back on the past few years with her, and man, I can just pick out every time I broke her heart. Every time I said the wrong thing. Every time I indvertently rejected her, pushed her away, made her feel like...less than she was. I should have seen it, Buffy."
"So what?" Buffy asked. "You have to beat yourself up now because you didn't have it together then?"
Xander said nothing.
"I'm going to tell you something I should have told her from the beginning," Buffy said, jabbing him in the chest with a finger.
"Ow!"
"If you love her, you owe it to her to tell her."
"No, I don't. I owe it to her to keep it from her."
"It doesn't work like that. I mean...okay, look at the show there. Pacey tried to keep his feelings to himself--"
"Please tell me you're not going to try and make some kind of correllation between our lives and that sorry excuse for a soap opera."
"Shut up and listen. Pacey thought that Joey knew what she wanted, so he kept his mouth shut, right? But what she thought she wanted wasn't actually what she wanted, Xander. She was in this safe, harmless relationship with Dawson..."
"Yeah. Dawson. Dawson who keeps making these protestations of love, and keeps hurting his 'soulmate' as much as he can along the way." Xander sneered. "I'd rather be a Pacey. He's not hurting anyone but himself. And I don't believe we're having this conversation."
"Truth is truth, Xander, whether it comes from sages, the mouths of babes, or a committee of television writers." She looked at him very seriously. "If you don't tell her you love her, you will regret it."
"Probably. But not as much as I'd regret hurting her again." He smiled sadly. "Face it, Buffy. Guys like me don't get girls like that."
***
He had never been so glad to hear somebody scream.
A trio of vamps had attacked a young mother a couple of blocks away, effectively putting an end to the conversation. One of them had fetched him a nasty knock on the back of the head, and he'd awakened covered in vamp dust. Buffy had picked him up, dusted him off, and pushed him towards home.
The first thing he noticed was the thick smell of incense. He checked out the floor; a pentagram of candles was laid out on the floor just in front of the door to the kitchen. There was, for some reason, an empty glass bottle sticking halfway into the wall, as though it had been built into it.
The TV was playing the end credits of some sitcom. On the couch, bathed in light, lay Willow and Tara, spooning next to one another. under a blanket. He craned his neck and saw that they were still dressed. Thank God. There was only so much a guy can take in a single day.
He took a seat in a chair and turned the volume down. Experience had taught them all that taking a long nap after a head injury was not the best idea in the world. He watched ads numbly for a little while.
Then, an announcer told him that it was time for the season finale of Dawson's Creek.
"I'm in Hell," he murmured, but he didn't hit stop. He just watched.
***
It was typical, at least to his eyes. Dawson was still acting like a possessive dickweed, while Pacey had hit upon the cunning plan of sailing his boat--the aforementioned "True Love"--down to the Florida Keys for the summer. To forget.
"Just don't get stuck in Oxnard, pal," he muttered. "Never know where that might lead."
Now he and Joey were talking in front of a large wall with "Ask Me To Stay" painted on it. Grand gesture, that. Nice one.
Not that it did him any good. There weren't any grand gestures he could make without completely screwing everything up.
***
Now he was about halfway into the show, and Jen, the cute blonde babe, was down by a pond somewhere, making another grand gesture to her boyfriend.
"It means that there really is such a thing as a second chance," she said, "and that no matter how old or how jaded you are when you meet the person you are supposed to be with everything is going to be new, a sunset, a cheesy love song, and-- and especially sex."
The other guys gathered around them sent up a cheer at that.
"I hate this show," he growled.
But he kept watching.
***
Dawson, that cheesy little male-version-of-Helen-Hunt-lookin'-bastard, was giving a toast at his parents' re-wedding.
"....I'd much rather be a part of what you guys have now than what you had then," he said. "That point where everything is forgiven, and I think that's what love really means. That you can forgive anything. So, to my parents. Who taught me that love does not conquer all, that love ends and begins again. Cheers."
He rubbed his face. He didn't like the fact that he was questioning his feelings because of a TV show. Especially this TV show.
***
Buffy stepped inside quietly, doffing her jacket and hanging it up. She saw the remains of the spell first, then she saw Xander sitting on the edge of his chair.
"Hey," she whispered. "What's--"
"Ssshhh," Xander ssshhhed. Buffy looked at the TV. Joey and Pacey were standing on the pier in front of his boat.
"I wanna come with you," Joey said.
"What? Are you crazy?"
"I wanna stop standing still. I wanna move forward. I wanna come with you."
They watched in silence as the two of them kissed, boarded the boat, and sailed off into the sunset.
"I thought guys like that didn't get the girl," Buffy whispered.
"They don't," Xander replied. He looked at her with sad eyes. "It's just a TV show. It doesn't mean anything."
"Truth is truth, Xander," Buffy replied. "I'm going to bed."
"G'night," Xander replied, clicking off the TV. He didn't get up right away; he gazed at Willow's sleeping face. He loved the way she looked when she was asleep, the way her face was so open.
He loved her.
"Not yet," he whispered. "Just...not yet."
"Hmm?" Willow's eyes inched open. "Xander?"
"Hey. Did I wake you?"
"Sort of. I was listening to the show." She smiled. "Didja like it?"
"I guess." He paused. "So who's your favorite?"
"Whaddaya mean?"
"I mean, if you had the choice, who would you want? Dawson or Pacey?"
"Pacey," she replied instantly. "Pacey all the way. Why?"
"Just wondering." He stood up, stretched. "Good night."
"G'night," Willow replied, yawning and closing her eyes. Xander watched her for a moment longer, then made the long walk upstairs, a line of dialogue ringing in his head...
"Love ends and begins again."
Well, he could only hope for that.